Monday, December 12, 2005

Uber busy week pare.

Grabe pare the week I had. Uber busy talaga. Shit kasi the Christmas tradition eh. I told nga may mom not to give na lang gifts this Christmas because all of her friends are like plastic kaya. Dami pa social climbers. Looking mahirap naman pare. Tapos my stupid mom loves to conduct pa oldie party sa house namin. Kadire talaga pare the aroma of soil. It's like gathering of the taong-lupas. So baho talaga the old people. Pero yun na nga diba? Wala na naman ako say sa house. Sabagay, its her house naman no. I'm planning na nga to move out eh and have my own unit sa rockwell. I really hate kasi being here. It's like I'm the one lang na may sense. Dami pa stupid relatives. Shit talaga.

So yun na nga diba? My schedule was really hectic talaga for the past few days. Tapos we had pa the family reunion my tita organized. Tapos sudden change of venue pa. Because my old lolo is ayaw sa Dusit. Gusto nya daw sa house na lang ng tita ko sa Dasma. So yun na nga diba? I don't have any choice but to make pakitang tao na naman to some of our relatives. Tapos some of my cousins are like bobo pa. They don't even know how to keep a conversation interesting. Kainis kasi my mom for asking me to stay. Really don't want to elaborate na sa event. It's like hell talaga pare. So init pa the coat I bought. So cheap naman kasi the garden of my tita for not having aircon no or even electric fan man lang. So I was really dripping wet sa loob. Buti na lang one of my relatives had a heart attack kaya ayun, maaga natapos reunion.

Anyways, I had a meeting uli with the Japanese firm regarding the joint venture we are about to start. So boring pa the presentation they have. It's like they are all soo bobo no. They don't even know how to speak in straight english pa. I mean, I am the one na naman making sense at the meeting kanina. Tapos the scary secretary was making pacute na naman. Kadiri talaga her face. I bet she was an orc in her past life.

After the meeting, I invited them na lang for a coffee at Coffeebean near our office at Convergy's building. I have no choice kaya. So kahit na the place was like populated na by orcs, I made no pansin na lang at them no. Kahit na the air is becoming baho whenever an orc goes inside to make pasikat and buy something. Orc mentality talaga bulok! I mean what's with the pasikat in hanging out at sosy places like Coffeebean if your compensation naman is katiting? Don't tell me they are just making ubos their salary sa coffee? Buti na lang I have a hanky kanina to cover my nose. Baka kasi they have pa a contagious disease eh. I'm sigurista kasi pare.

Also, I am rejecting most of the comments na. Kasi some bobo orcs... I think there are hundreds of them writing spam on my comment system. I mean what's your problem pa? Di ba nga I wrote na a disclaimer here telling you to stay away. You don't have a say here no. If you don't dig my thoughts, better drop dead na lang than basa pa my journal. I know na given na all orcs are bobo, but please lang no... Go write your filthy comments somewhere else. That is if you don't want me to hampas all your faces sa lupa kasi thats what you are naman diba, mga hampaslupas. Fuck you all no!

Thursday, December 01, 2005

The monkey family.

December 1 is considered as World AIDS Day. So to hell with all those filthy AIDS carriers!

My mom told me kanina to go with my stupid relatives to Duty Free Paranaque. Eh my stupid mother kaya knows na I have something to do later with friends. So I made sabi to her, "Ma, I'll go out with Andrew and Claude later. Diba nga we will look na for some relief goods for the employees natin this Christmas?" Tapos my mom told me na it's been taken cared of na raw by Ibyang. Ibyang is her stupid secretary. Actually, she's like Night of the Living Dead na pare. As in living relic of ancient history talaga. In the flesh!

So yun na nga diba? I have no choice na naman but to abide with the fucking maternal commandments. It was really like pampasira na naman ng aura. Imagine, I'll drive some stupid people to Duty Free Paranaque like a bunch of bakasyonistas eh they all look so local naman. So I was really inis kanina. I told pa nga my stupid mom na why don't she go with them na lang kaya and borrow my useless native driver Mang Tonyo to drive them. Since I can drive na naman. I'm like malaki na kaya. And I can drive na naman and don't need pa a stupid driver right by my side all the time. Especially, that old, good for nothing katutubo, Mang Tonyo. Fuck talaga! Another perfect day ruined na naman diba.

But what can I do? It's my mom who told me that. I'm afraid she'll cut na naman the payments to my monthly dues at my credit cards. Diba pare that's double foul na? I mean, I'm not a driver naman no. I'm too goodlooking to become a driver. And besides, I literally disowned naman that part of our family tree eh. They are all so ugly kaya. Tapos they'll ride pa with me. Ano me, travelling zoo? Kadiri talaga pare. Still I have no choice but to follow the family's matriarch. Damn!

So yun na nga diba? I was the most gwapo driver in the world kanina to a bunch of monkeys. Tapos they are all so ingay pa. I mean, can't they see na I was like uber simangot kanina while driving. Tapos my stupid Auntie pa keeps on talking to me like wala lang. Feeling close! Fuck talaga! If only I could make her tulak outside the car, I just did siguro. The hell!

At dutyfree, Filipino mentality talaga really shows. Kadiri talaga the people there. I mean, what's with the panic buying ba? Eh all the items kaya inside duty free are readily available naman now at some major malls. If only I knew that I'll get to brush shoulders with some baho Domestic Helpers with their squatting brood, I should have dropped the family of monkeys at SM Sucat and will just fetch them like after a week na lang sana. Para my aura can like rest na from all the ingays no. Shit talaga. One good thing that happened lang is when I saw one brand of perfume there. I really can't stop laughing talaga pare. I mean, Paris Hilton now has her own Brand of Perfume with her pic pa on the box! How pathetic. Tsk.. Tsk.. Well, why ba me affected? I mean.. it's her life naman no. So, why should I give a damn at that bitch eh I have a family of monkeys to worry pa pala inside the fiesta mall. The hell pare!

Since I was there na naman, I thought of shopping na rin. One good thing about Duty Free is that it's tax free so it's kinda mura. But I won't allow myself to be like the native pinoys who's been panic buying no. It's not Judgement Day pa naman pare. So I bought na lang for myself some Loreal products like Tec Ni Art Fix Anti-Frizz and Thermo Fixing spray, a couple of perfumes and a bag of chocolates. I've been craving kasi for chocolates for the past few days eh. Kasi I read an article saying that Chocolates can alleviate you from the pit of depression daw. More like a feel-good-food pare.

Katakot pa nga the guy offering the bag of chocolates to me eh. Kadiri kaya his face. It's like survivor pare ng Hiroshima bombing. Like he was standing infront of a glass building when the explosion happened. I mean, what's with the humongous craters ba sa face? Its casting some shadows kaya under the bright light. And I think I saw pa nga some water with kiti-kitis na inside one of the craters no. And why work pa as a salescrew if you will scare naman all your customers away? Me nga muntik na mapasigaw when he suddenly appeared from behind the shelves eh. I said, "Ngii!" na lang right in his face tapos left. Creepy eh. As in kulang na lang talaga Awooo pare.

Well, the only consolation lang I got from the deal is that I haven't seen even a single Orc today. Yey me!

That's all na muna for now pare. I'm really tired na kasi.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Went to Powerbooks kanina to look for a certain book by Tony Judt, called PostWar. It tells something about the history of Europe since 1945. Gift ko lang sa Grandpapa ko this Christmas. My stupid tita kasi organized a grand reunion next week sa Dusit, Makati. (Tentative pa the place between Benkay or sa Benjarong.) Siempre diba I have to make paimpress to my lolo since I am his favorite apo. Siguro he will be gulat to see me like so gwapo na and all talino pa. I'm the one kaya running our business now. My papa is acting like a consultant na lang. Which is dapat lang no! He's like sooo old na kaya and myopic pa. He have no choice but to let me run na the business dahil dami opportunists natives na always waiting for a chance to make kupit sa cash flow namin. I just don't trust those people sa office. They all look like magnanakaw no. Tapos the old lady pa my dad hired sa office was like amoy lupa na. I bet only one bulate na lang ang hinde pa nakapag-sign sa death certificate nya no. Creepy talaga pare I tell you.

So yun na nga diba? I was like alone lang kanina looking for that stupid book when I saw Claude with one of his boylet. The biatch! Hahaha! Just recently lang she was crying because her boyfriend left her daw. Eh it's like two days nya pa lang yata namemeet yung guy. Tapos nafuck lang sya up to sawa, love na nya! Wawa naman my friend no? Well, at least my kaibigan is like soo happy right now. And siempre diba, I'm happy na rin for her. They even invited me pa nga for coffee at Coffeebean. So I left na muna my bookhunt and made sama with them. Claude was really blooming talaga with all her pacute and beautiful eyes. Kadiri talaga some gestures. Lols! I think they are like bagay kaya. The guy is witty though not as handsome as me. Pero still it's ok na. My friend told me na happy naman daw sya. So yun na nga diba? I lost track of time na tapos Coffee pa at 12 noon! Kaya grabe the init ng pakiramdam no? Steamy pa the two. Kaya I bid them farewell na lang kasi icky na my feeling eh. I called Mang Tonyo to pick me up and head home. The hell with the PostWar book. I'll just buy na lang an art deco book for my stupid lolo maybe next week prior to the event. So hirap naman kasi hanapin the book he was looking for eh.

When I got home kanina, my cousin from Singapore was here pa! So I told my mom, "Mom, why of all places, why here pa? Don't they have any money to check-in sa hotel?" Tapos my mom looked at me like sama kasi my tito is near lang. The hell! I hate pa naman that cousin. He's like sooo bobo no. I bet his parents just adopted him lang. He's like pampasira din kasi ng aura eh.

So yun na nga diba? Instead of going out pa to do something, I stayed inside my room na lang dahil baka that stupid cousin of mine will make pakialam pa some of my stuff, I'll kill him talaga. Better if I'll just make tapon all of his belongings sa kalsada tapos I'll just shout na lang na get the hell out of here no! That will be uber cool pare tapos I have pa this mean kopita while laughing infront of the camera. Hahaha!

Siguro tama na muna that for now. I need to look after pa my stupid cousin dahil umalis my mom. By the way, I came across one cool article kanina ---

Suing Telemarketers Made Simple.

Lord of the Distinctive Rings writes "Telemarketer calls victim in wee hours. Victim is lawyer. Victim sues telemarketer. Hilarity ensues, as recounted in narrative replete with links and information on how you too can sue up the wazoo." Well, one's certainly not ever going to get rich or anything going after telemarketers on a one-off basis, but every bit helps, I think.

Saturday, November 26, 2005


I was really bored pare and walang magawa. So I browsed na lang the web to look for gifts na online for my family and friends dahil close na ang Christmas. So yun na nga diba? I have to make pa-plastic na naman infront of some friends eh I'm not receiving naman anything from them every Pasko no? I have to maintain lang talaga some connections kaya I'm doing this. Just like last Christmas, the only gift I received came from Josie, our native katulong. How sweet naman of her to remember me no eh obvious naman na she was just like making sipsep and asking for a raise lang that time. The hell! I threw nga her gift sa trashcan and made ngiwi na lang infront of her. Asa pa her no! Kadiri naman kasi the gift wrapper she used eh. It's like so cheap tapos with a dedication card pa! As in shota? The fuck!

I checked nga pala for some holiday promos. They are offering Free Shipping daw if I ordered more than $150 worth of items from their site. And since I haven't used naman my platinum card lately, I tried online shopping. I usually pay kasi in cash. Kaso I'm like so tamad na to go sa malls dahil I don't want to brush shoulders with some baho masa who's only window shopping there lang naman. Not to mention the sosy-wanabees orcs na obvious naman na posers lang. Losers talaga dami!

Below are what I bought kanina from

Polo Sport Gift Set ($57.50)
Romance Silver Value Set ($65.00)
Pure Torquoise Holiday Set ($75.00)
Beaton Pant ($97.50)

And for myself:
A couple of Chinos (Hamptom Poplin Cargo Pants) ($250.00)
Polo Pocket T-Shirt ($27.50)

Also, I bought a dozen shirt from this site - Threadless. They are on sale kasi. Only 10 bucks lang for each shirt! Grabe sa dami pare ng designs. Uber cheap pa! I spent $120 lang for all 12 shirts! Great sale no?

So, all in all, I spent $693.00 lang! And I thought I will spend like a thousand bucks just like before. Hehehe. Talino talaga me when it comes to gift shopping. Hassle free pa pare.

Anyways, I received nga pala another email from Ysabelle. She really missed me daw pare. She said kasi in her letter,

"....Always take care and please don't forget my gift this Christmas ok? I'll just email you my new address here in New York."

See pare, she's like concerned saken. Obvious naman na she likes me pa rin no. The only hindrance lang naman is that bading na white guy bobby who's just like using Ysabelle lang as a front. Fuck talaga that guy. I will make agaw na lang Ysabelle from him. He's like useless naman eh.

Siguro tama na muna that for now pare. My ulo is kinda sakit pa kasi right now.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Bad Vibes.

Just got home from a workout at Hotel Intercon. And puta pare the guy who's been working out there kanina. Uber baho talaga the body odor. The hell! I was like muntik ng mag-faint because of the stench oozing from his underarm. As in kadiri talaga the aroma sa gym kanina. Tapos the old lady doing some stretching at his side was like patay na no. She's not moving na kasi when I checked her out. So yun na nga diba? I asked na lang for a gas mask pero they gave me none. The fuck talaga. Eh I can't stand talaga the smell kaya I told na lang the gym instructor to make paalis na lang the baho guy kasi he's like pampasira ng workout eh. The instructor told me lang na make tiis na lang the amoy kasi the guy is a member din daw! I said, "What the fuck?! You mean to say na even if I drop dead because of the baho smell, it's ok pa rin?". Bobo talaga that instructor. Eh I'm like a premium member kaya. Nonsense talaga talking to minimum wage earner katutubos. Damn! So I approached na lang the guy and told him, "Excuse me, are you the guy with the baho smell? I think you need na to make paligo kasi I can smell you from over there oh. And believe me, it's really so baho." Yeah, in his face pare I told him that. Eh he's like 5'4" lang kaya. I can just make batok lang on his forehead if he said something back at that moment. Buti na lang he just blushed and went straight into the shower room. That was the first time I saw a red-faced palaka. Yeah pare, kadiri na the smell, palaka pa his built. I mean, what's with the bulging muscles if you're only 5'4" no. Even after he left, the after smell was still there. As in yuckie talaga all the equipments he used. So yun na nga diba? I lost na my momentum so I told my bobo instructor to stop na the program. I called na Mang Tonyo to get my things and wait for my call again dahil I'll buy lang something sa Glorietta.

At the glorietta, my aura got sira na naman. Why naman kasi of all places, some filthy orcs decided pa to hang out there. I mean, puno ba all the public markets that they decided to hang out at Glorietta? And what's with the slang accent ba? All their skin naman is balat mahirap no.

So yun na nga diba? I lost na my gana sa workout tapos I lost pa ulit my interest sa pagbili ng vanity stuff sa Essences, Rustans. So I had my feet pampered na lang at Beauty Bar and then called na the stupid Mang Tonyo to pick me up right at the lobby.

In short my day was like bad vibes talaga pare.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Vote for me pare.

Fuck pare, I was really uber busy for the past few days attending to the family business. Also, daming nag-apply for the secretarial position. So, our office was crowded yesterday by some baho masa girls, all hoping for the position. I told kasi HR to call everyone who emailed me their resume and have them interviewed agad kasi I can't take the smell of masa in my office eh. Tapos all of them are drooling pa because of my good looks. Kadiri talaga the scenery yesterday. Good thing all of them are like bobo kaya so nobody got the position. Probably I'll just post na lang my job vacancy sa lobby ng ateneo, lasalle or UA&P para talino all the applicants. Para most of them are cute colegialas pa. Shit pare, I just can't wait na for the next batch of applicants. Probably, I'll interview them personally for them to get a chance to see how gorgeous I am upclose. Damn! Hirap talaga goodlooking pare. I just can't contain myself. My sex appeal is like oozing kaya.

Also, I did some adjustments sa pricing of some of our products kanina for immediate implementation. Fuck kasi the government we have here sa Pinas eh. It's soo bulok and fucking corrupt. I really can't stand it when the goverment pa is the one making pahirap to all the masa, eh the masa are all mahirap na kaya. Double murder pare the burden talaga to those katutubos. The government is squeezing na nga all the money from the people, tapos will add pa some additional levy sa mga businesses like ours. The hell with them no! Goverment officials talaga never fails to mess with my aura. So inside my head, whenever I see big billboards of those politicians sa streets, I made sabi na lang na, "Style nyo bulok you fucking peso-sucking vampires! Eh the money kaya didn't came from you tapos you will get pa all the glory as if naman you personally paid for it! Its your job kaya! Our company is losing millions because of you leeches! Damn! Go to hell all of you no!"

See pare, I'm like sensitive din no. I know how to see the pahirap our goverment is doing to all the bahong masa. I made tawa pa nga when I saw the commercial on tv na VAT will never affect daw the fresh produce and meat sa market. Wala na talaga ako ma say! Eh it's like transferrable kaya ang VAT. Gasoline is covered by VAT, it's what most of us businessmen use to transport our products. So definitely, instead of making solo na lang all the burdens, we might as well transfer it na lang to the bobong public. Shit talaga!

So yun na nga diba? It's like I'm running for mayor na. I know what I just made sulat was really something pare. Just like my idea of bulldozing all the squatters area and developing it into some kind of architectural marvel and have the bahong masa work for it as janitors, alalays and tagapunas on it. That way, bawas na all the eye sores on most of the major highways. Kadiri kasi the atmosphere eh.

Also sa mga kulit na orcs who have been posting some filthy comments and long unrelated novel, please lang no, just drop dead na lang or have yourselves get bitten by dogs sa mata para luwa na your eyes, that way you'll never find my site na sa net. Wala naman kasi kayong say for me eh. As what I said before, go make your own blog and make kausap na lang your bobo self there no. Tapos have fun commenting na din on yourself para maging happy na you. Kadiri kasi talaga your mentality eh.

Siguro tama na muna that for now. My aura kasi got depleted na kasi.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Fellowship of the Orcs

"I always pay in cash unless I'm using the internet to book hotels online."

Just had my kidney profile kanina. Ewan ko ba. Pero I'm really scared talaga of needles. Lalo na if it'll be made tusok to me. Tapos the attendant asked me pa, "Masakit ba?" The hell! Eh kung sa eyes nya kaya itusok ko the needles. The nerve of the biatch to ask me that. Wala ba sya brains to know na it's so sakit kaya. Kaasar talaga the kabobohan of some attendants at Makati Medical Tower. So yun na nga diba? I was really irritated na tapos tanga pa the person who attended to me pero there's nothing I could do naman. It was like I'm stuck na there no. Kasi baka mabali the needle they put on me for blood testing. Anyways, they will forward na lang daw the result to Dra. Munoz tomorrow to see if I'm still eligible for the Roac treatment. Baka kasi babaan na lang the dosage for maintenance. Why naman kasi I need pa a prescription to buy that drug eh it's like mura lang kaya.

Also, when I checked my blog kanina, I was like amazed at the dami pa ring nagcomment inspite of the Da Vince Code one pathetic orc posted. Hahahaha! Double entertainment na here on my site -- You get to be bashed na tapos you get to read pa the Da Vinci Code. It's so cool diba pare? Not only that, minimized pa all the bobo orc comments dahil one of their fellow orc did something stupid which is expected naman from them. Kaya nga diba they have this "Fellowship of the Orcs" all over the Philippines na. Tama lang naman what he did diba, eliminated na all the filthy dial-up katutubos who keeps on posting some kadiri comments here. Which is perfectly ok with me. Damn! They are really sooo fucking stupid talaga. Lols! Kaya naman tuwang-tuwa all the Americans whos been feeding and benefitting from their puppet-like and pea-brained specie eh.

The meeting nga pala I had yesterday with some Japanese is for the Callcenter my father is planning to put up. So yun na nga diba, it's pretty obvious na most of you will work na for me soon. Siguro I might as well have you dogs lick my ass na lang rin in exchange for some peanuts. Hahaha!

Also, I'm in need nga pala of a personal secretary because I fired na my useless katutubo secretary. It's for peanuts din, so what are you waiting for? Grab it na! Hahaha! Pathetic talaga. Seriously, if interested, email me your resume at .

Yun na lang muna siguro for now. Have to do something pa. Bye losers!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


I'm finding a hard time to get some tulog now. My grandmama once told me na someone must be making isip of me if I find it hirap daw to get some sleep. And there's only one pangalan that popped in my head right agad... Ysabelle. Ano kaya doing ni Ysabelle right now aside from thinking about me? Siguro she's imagining some naughty stuff na we're doing kasi, that's what I'm thinking before I hit the sack kanina. Naughty me. Haha! Damn naman kasi Ysabelle for being sooo fucking pretty. Hay! Can't wait until January pa to visit her. I really miss her terribly na kasi. Now my head is really sakit because of all the kaiisip of her.

Anyways, the meeting with the Japanese firm went well naman kanina. I caught pa nga the panget secretary staring at my face during the meeting. Kadiri talaga her face no. It's like she was drooling na because maybe she got mesmerized with my uber good looks kanina and killer getup. I am wearing kasi my Z Zegna suit with an iridescent stripped undershirt na rin by the same brand. Tapos my cheeks are still red pa because of the obagi treatment I've been doing lately. Kulang na lang for me to tell her na "Asa pa you no! As if naman I'll make patol to just a secretary. The hell!" Siguro that'll teach her to stick na lang to her own kind. As in social-climber in the flesh talaga pare. Kadire her no?

After the meeting, stupid Mang Tonyo was nowhere to be found. Shit talaga that old useless guy. He should have told me na he'll buy something lang sa drugstore nearby para naman I haven't waited for him like tanga sa baba ng building no. I bet he bought a bottle of poison na and he will drink it all to himself to give an end na to his inate katutubo stupidity. Siguro nga tama lang yun no para my stupid mom will change na that old guy. He's like dapat retired na kaya. So my aura got sira na naman diba. Good thing I'm taking prozac na lately. which reminds me na tomorrow nga pala I'll be having my kidney profile to be submitted to Dra. Munoz of Belo. Kelangan kasi yun for my Roac medication.

Tapos I've realized why the hell I am wasting my time erasing some comments here eh I'm not affected naman. The hell with the person posting the Odyssey. Post to sawa all you want you fag. As if naman I care! Hahaha! Loser! As in major loser! Pathetic talaga. The comment system is all yours. Post all you want you bobo stupid orc. Maybe if I'll let you post up to sawa, you'll just drop dead because you have exhausted na your little brain from overworking by mere posting. Hahaha! That would be a nice scenario. Current earth minus one stupid orc and another million to go! Why naman kasi you are spreading like germs eh. I mean wala naman money sa callcenters right? So please don't make yabang ok? You are only making peanuts compared to me no. Hay! Stop na nga. Nonsense naman to talk about you because wala naman you all sense kausap eh not unless I put a script here on what your response would be. Hahaha! Pathetic.

Tama na muna that for now. Will try again to catch some shut eye.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Home na

Just woke up. Grabe the headache I'm experiencing right now. Sabi ko na, I should have cancelled the flight yesterday. Kaya now, my head is like binibiyak na. I'm slightly feverish pa. Kasi naman, kadiri pa all the baho katutubos sa airport. I can't take their smell no. It's like pigsty kaya the odor. As in baho talaga pare. Kaya it made me hilo now tapos with migraine pa. Shit talaga! I think it's about time na for the airport management to provide a special arrival areas for the mayayamans like me. Katakot kasi the current setting eh. It's soo fucking sleazy kasi. Dami pang kidnapper natives.

I already took na a pain reliever pero its no use pare. I think I will go to St. Luke's na lang later to have this fucking headache checked. I have a meeting pa naman with a big company tomorrow. Don't like them to see me like this kaya. What will they think no? Na I'm gwapo nga pero sickly naman. I'm no gwapo-wimp pare. Just gwapo lang.

My vacation was ok naman. Except for the two days I got hospitalized. The last stretch of my vacation was entirely made out of shopping. Bought some bric-a-bracs for some friends and bought na rin for myself some 87 kilos of excess baggage. Lols! I really can't help myself talaga when shopping. Dami kasing bagay na clothes sakin eh. Sabagay, I was a model kasi before I decided to work na lang sa family business namin. Damn! Dami talagang privileges when you are gifted with good looks and brains pa pare. Dami options on what to do. Baka early next year, will go to New York to visit Ysabelle. I kinda miss her na kasi. I will show that loser-fag Bobby na he's nothing kaya compared to me. He's like katiting lang no. As in no match kaya sakin. I bet Ysabelle is thinking na nga of leaving that loser-poser. I'm the man talaga pare!

And to the orcs who keeps on posting Homer's Iliad --- "Fuck you no! You're soo fucking gay pare! Kadiri your way of getting back at me. Why don't you just poke na lang kaya your head on some barbeque sticks then check if you have some brains pa left inside your hollow skull. Baka kasi all the maggots ate it all na tapos nothing left but the accumulated ipots lang. Hahaha!"

Will post na lang ulit tomorrow. To all the cool peeps who emailed me and commented here on my blog saying some good stuffs. It's acknowledged pare. Add me na rin sa friendster kasi I have like no testimonials pa. Here's my email address --

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Loser Orcs!

Tang-ina! This is really kaiba na! Shit talaga you katutubos! Tama bang to make my commenting system as an orc shoutbox. In case you haven't notice, THIS IS MY BLOG you fucking obnoxious nincompoops! The last time I checked, the title is not "This is where all the bobo callcenter orcs hangout." or "Mordor". Damn talaga! I got hospitalized na nga for two days tapos this is what I'm going to see pa on my commenting system. Tang-ina talaga you all no! Wala talaga you all breeding. I placed a disclaimer na nga tapos you are all so fucking kulit and uber dull mga brains pa to post pa rin all your filthy comments here. Shit talaga. You are always messing with my aura talaga kahit cyber na. The hell!

And please stop with all the loser-poser comments. You know nothing naman eh. Yeah. That's what you all know. Nothing lang. I bet if I'm going to pinch your head, it'll pop up dahil it's just puno lang naman ng air no. You are all yabang eh to assume lang naman all you can do. Also please stop dreaming no. The hell! Attend first to all your pera problems before posting your bobo comments here. I grew tired na rin of deleting some tanga comments and it's getting kinda irritating na rin. As what I said before, "Don't you have lives ba?" Kaya the Pinas is considered pa rin as a third world country, it's because of you BOBO peeps and the BULOK government you have. You are always fond of wasting company resources on your uber tamad, aksaya ang tangang lifestyles. Sabagay, our family is getting richer and richer nga pala because of the CHEAP labor you are offering our company. In a way, we should thank you na rin natives for being that way.

Also, to the people who said some nasty things about Ysabelle, FUCK YOU ALL NO! You are nothing compared to her. At least, she's earning her money in a very professional way sa New York as an HR manager. Unlike you bobo natives na can't even have a formal conversation with a client without the help of some scripts. How low is that? And what's with the english-bisaya accent ba? It's kinda irritating din eh. Please don't tell me it's the in thang right now... well for me it's thang-ina nyo all no! Drop the twang and be yourselves! It's not bagay kasi eh. Kinda irritating pa sa tenga. I mean, no matter how hard you orcs try to change your lifestyles, baho pa rin kayo for me.

Seriously, this is my space. I created it to air my opinions no. So WALA TALAGA kayong say. I mean, I can't even post na my photos here because some of the barbaric orcs is threatening me. For security reasons, I have to put down na some of my photos. I'm not as bobo naman like you dogs eh. Tang-ina! Wait til I get back there. Let's see how tough you bobo katutubos really are! I'll be arriving to Manila on November 14 via Philippine Airlines flight no. pr 103 at around 6 A.M. May stopover lang saglit sa Honolulu before heading straight to Manila.

Now, if you guys are still bobo pa rin to understand what I just wrote, it'll only suggest one thing ---- LOSERS!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Depression mode

I'm really sad now pare. My aura is kinda low. Shit drug na pampagwapo kasi is making me feel like this. Buti nga the muscle cramping has stopped na. I think I need to lessen na my dose. Baka next week, I'll change na from roac to acnetrex. The price nga naman I have to pay for maintaining such good looks pare. The kind of face that will launch a thousand ships. As in! Shit talaga! Like drool all you want on my good looks you orcs! Haha!

I think I will rest na muna for now. Will post na lang bukas what happened kanina.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Rodeway Inn Sucks!

Tang-ina this is the worse ski trip ever! The Rodeway Inn really sucked pare. I mean, if you have plans of staying at this hotel for the holidays, better think twice. Actually, my family used to stay at this hotel on numerous occassions na rin no. Tapos all of a sudden the hotel changed their payment policies, tapos did not notify me prior to the reservation. Tapos they will demand for my compliance daw with their "new" pay policy. The hell! I called nga Choice Hotels who made my booking for this hotel who simply turned my reklamos over to the owner who then called me personally to confront me about my claims. Tapos the nerve of that girl to call me a liar pa! Shit sya no! Hope she dies now as in now na! That bitch! Her hotel is so bulok kaya tapos theres no computer system pa. So they can't tell na I'm a VIP client kaya. They are missing on something pare. I'm generous kaya in giving room tips to low-life alalays which is katumbas na to their one month salary. Tang-ina, I can even have their bulok inn bulldozed for being soo fucking assholes! Damn! So I made sipa na lang their bulok na door and told my driver to drive me home na lang. My aura got sira na kasi.

The fucking reservation orcs at Choice Hotels did nothing to rectify the situation pa! Useless talaga the company for having such incompetent orcs handling the reservations. I paid them kaya in full for the hotel tapos yun pa. Shit talaga! Why naman kasi orcs pa hinihire of those companies eh ang dami namang normal na talino people. Sabagay, what would you expect nga pala for cheap labor eh di sub-standard minds din. Kaya naman the Americans love to build their bases sa Philippines dahil ang daming sub-standard minds. Callcenters are pools talaga of pea-brained freaks -- leftovers of the professional strata. Damn! That gives me an idea! Why not open kaya a callcenter sa pinas. Tutal dami naman katutubos are willing to kiss my ass for peanuts eh. Additional money na naman for me. Nice idea. Really nice. Hahahaha!!!!

Sunday, November 06, 2005


The event yesterday was like katakot kaya. As in really creepy no. Mordor live talaga pare. The only mabuti thing that I saw was the classic car exhibit eh. Other than that, the place was a total chaos talaga. Dami pang bahong natives. Tapos panget pa the presentation on stage. I mean whats with the Español ohlala ba? It reminds me lang of my stupid grandmama eh. Good thing na lang na she's like 6 feet under na and all kalansay pa.

I think nabroke ata my eardrums because of all the crappy music. They are all bunch of crapolas naman.. Losers.

I received nga pala another email from Ysabelle. Post ko na lang para mainggit you all. I'm the man talaga pare.


Date: Sun, 6 Nov 2005 01:14:32 -0800 (PST)
From: "Ysabelle Ongpauco" Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by Learn more
Subject: Re: Hi Ysabelle
To: "Matt D.V."


Sorry if I wasn't responding to some of your calls.... Kinda busy kasi lately with work. I moved na nga pala to a new apartment. So medyo nahihilo pa sa home improvement. I called Cary na nga to help me with the color combinations para sa flat.

Anyways, thank you nga pala sa birthday gift mo saken last month ha? I really appreciate the thoughtfulness. My boyfriend, Bobby is extending na rin his greetings to your upcoming birthday.

Hope to see you soon.



See! I'm the man talaga pare. I bet she's falling na naman for me. The mere fact na she made sabi na she's hoping to see me daw is pretty much evident na she likes me pa rin. Tapos may lovelots pa! Its obvious naman diba pare? That girl still have a thing going on for me. And sino pa hinde? I'm soo gwapo kaya tapos uber cool pa. I bet that Bobby guy was just plastic lang when he extended his birthday greetings to me. He's like envious kaya of me when I visited Ysabelle last Christmas. I think he is bakla pa nga because of his abnormally puti na face no. Damn!... he's like pampagulo lang to my aura eh. Hope he just drop dead or get hit head on by a pison because of his stupidity tapos dapat pisak pa. Para wala na hassle to the pag-ibig I have for Ysabelle.

Siguro yun na muna for now. Have to get ready pa kasi for the Sierras trip later. Wala pa nga the stupid chaffeur.

Basta, no matter what, I'm so happy now pare.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Downtown LA

Saw the movie na. It was so katawa talaga but not as hilarious as the European Gigolo we saw last month (I stand corrected on that one pare.) The only mabuti thing about the movie is that we shared the same sentiments against the callcenter orcs. I mean, callcenters agents are really annoying naman talaga eh. It's like parang even when you hang up on them, they keep on talking pa rin on the other side. Weird no? I mean, why naman I am getting tons of rebuttal on my opinion na they are all bobo and baho pa if what I'm saying is totoo naman right? As if naman I care diba? The hell no.

Kanina nga pala we visited downtown LA kasi I'm really itching na to do some shopping. Dapat sana we will go to Malibu kaso the traffic was really heavy daw on the PCH so we went na lang to downtown LA instead. At least doon kahit na traffic, ok pa rin the destination. I am with two of my cousins acting as my tourist guide and alalay. Lols! So yun na nga diba, we went first to Disney Concert Hall, which is kinda boring kaya we made lipat agad to the fashion district which is like outlined with endless small shops full of clothings that were made din daw from the buildings nearby. I have seen some katutubos pa nga selling some chicherias there. So I pity na lang them. I have a puso naman no so I even bought a hotdog pa nga wrapped in bacon to show pa my awa. It's like donation na lang for her to make padala the money I spent to her offspring sa pinas. I made shopping pero konti lang. Will reserve the ultimate shopping at the end of my vacation na lang.

Right after the fashion district is the Jewelry lane on Broadway. Kaso I'm not fond naman of jewelries so I bought na lang a burrito from a mexican resto doon. Uber bilis lang kasi I can't stand the blaring sakit sa tenga na Mexican music thats playing e.

Tapos we went to China town which is now booming with bars that are quite trendy na. My cousin told me pa nga na the area was bulldozed daw before to make way for the Dodger Stadium. Which gives me an idea, why not kaya the Philippine goverment bulldoze na lang all the squatters area in Metro Manila to give way to some architectures like a stadium tapos have all the katutubos work in there as janitors, vendors and alalays. E di mas maganda pa pinas. Kasi that way, mawawala na all the baho skwakkwaks sa metro. Damn, why naman kasi some goverment officials can't think like I do e di sana wala na sanitation problem there no. I bet, almost 99.9% of the orcs will be homeless na by then. Damn! I'm so talino talaga.

On our way home, I bought Tita Mitchy a bouquet of flowers as a thank you daw from my mom for taking care of our house sa LA. Tomorrow nga pala is the event at Canoga Park. Kaso I'm so tamad to attend events like that naman eh. Ang dami kayang baho people there tapos icky pa their sweating bodies no. I don't want to brush shoulders with them kaya. Siguro pwede pa if they are giving some gas mask at the event.

Siguro yun na muna for now. Will keep you guys posted na lang bukas.

I receive nga pala an email from Ysabelle. I'm kinda happy now. Iba talaga pag tumibok ang heart. :)

Friday, November 04, 2005


I went to the mall kanina with my cousin Edward. I was really intrigued kasi by the thingamajig. So I bought one for myself. Katuwa naman my new gadget, it's like a gameboy console with a built-in messenger, browser and fone na. I also bought na rin an extra mittens, an Immortelle skin moisturizer and a couple of shirts which I got for only $15 each lang! Money well spent na naman for me.

Tapos yun na nga diba, when we got home pa, my Tita Mitchy and Ate Sonia were talking about the 40 Year Old Virgin. It was a funnny movie daw but I haven't got the chance to watch it back sa pinas because I was too busy with the family business.

Those two were really mean kaya. Unlike me, I am just writing how I feel, e sila, they are sharing experiences pa! They are giving some variations on that fabulously nasty telemarketer hangup speech daw sa movie. I gotta see that one.

See, Tita Mitchy even told me na almost 75% daw of americans are kinda annoyed sa callcenter peeps. Here's the thing daw kasi: Callcenter agents daw are required to keep yapping. Always. Those are the rules. They are simply not allowed to shut up, (Yeah, why don't they just shut up na lang kaya?!) except maybe four or five steps into a long script of fallback positions. And according to her, hanging up is necessary. Both parties knew it na daw. Therefore: not rude at all. Sabi ko na lang to my tita, "It's ok lang tita mitch, they are earning naman big bucks daw for yapping eh." Like in their dreams pare.

Now, I'm really curious na and enthralled pa. Probably tomorrow, I'll just check na lang if my cousin have downloaded the full flick in his computer and I will give my review.

Maybe later na lang the other happenings. Paglaruan ko muna my new toy. And besides, this is my final rest day kaya, tapos tomorrow will be uber busy na following my vacation itenerary. And to all the orcs who thinks na this is just another crappy dicklit. Talk to the pwet w'lyah?

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Fucking kulit na orcs!

Inspite of the disclaimer and all, I still can't stop the orcs from invading my privacy pare. The hell! Am I really that famous na? I bet you are all just inggit lang because I'm here na and you are still hoping na your company will send you here for training pa. In your dreams pare.

Ok here's the deal, I know that you guys think that I'm the bomb, gwapo and all. But for you to see me as a god. That's really something pare. You guys are really full of shit! Hahaha! Hope na sana an earthquake will strike your squatter areas later and kill all you loser-poser dorks. Rot in hell pare!

And to the Politically Correct guy who posted this, you are uber cool pare. Email me now at I will buy for you some pasalubongs when I get back there sa pinas:

Grabe talaga ang mga callcenter agent. Kayo ang sobrang resourceful sa paghahanap ng butas sa blog na ito. It only proved one thing, loser, ingitero ( at mga orcs kayo. Ok lang yan. Callcenter dullness talaga is contagious kaya no wonder. I mean, seriously, kindly check again, I think the owner of this blog is not that good pagdating sa picture editing. And if he did edited those photos, isa syang henyo na magaling ng magsulat at magaling pang mag-edit ng photos. Sana sya na rin ang gumawa ng layout ng site na ito.

Ok enough with the crap, here are some pointers for you to consider:

- Plagiarism : he was now being accused of plagiarizing someone's idea. Well to tell you seriously honey or whoever the person accused him of doing so, kindly check your site and compared it to this guy's site. Do you see any similarity? No ideas have been taken from you except from the allegedly (?) stolen photos. Well, let me define to you what plagiarism is according to the trusty dictionary:

n 1: a piece of writing that has been copied from someone else and is presented as being your own work 2: the act of plagiarizing; taking someone's words or ideas as if they were your own [syn: plagiarization, plagiarisation, piracy]

Seriously now, I don't see any ideas being copied from your site. Even the photos you said that were taken from your site is pretty much different. And much of the comments now seems to conclude the owner of this site as "someone who copies someone else's idea". Well think again, if cofibean indeed revised the photos that were claimed to be stolen, it's not a form of plagiarism, but rather one way of expressing "Innovation and Pure Brilliance." And there are no rules against innovation only against "malicious mischief" that was directed to mr. cofibean of which is considered as a criminal offense.

You may want to look at some of these articles on this site for your information regarding innovation: - Discussion about Innovation & Creativity

And I just can't help myself but to quote this line:

"If half the challenge of innovation is communicating its value and someone else is always innovating, then building creative teams may not be nearly as efficient as building widely cast, open-minded sifting technologies to scour the universe for innovation hotspots and blueprinting those technologies for use at home. As Diamond says, complex innovations are best borrowed, not built. Because technology begets technology, the value of diffusion often exceeds the value of original invention."

- While reading some entries on this site, I chanced upon the disclaimer written above his blog, it was very interesting indeed. I think I don't need to elaborate on that.

- And if this blog was indeed a satire, I commend the writer for being VERY CREATIVE AND BRILLIANT for finding ways on how to capture the attention of the general public.

Now, if you need further explanation on this self-explanatory matter, sorry, but I don't have time to talk to someone suffering from a severe case of low I.Q.

If I were you, just let the guy express his craft and enjoy it and control yourself from showing your orc-like persona on this site. Sorry for the jologs term, "Nakakabadtrip kasi eh."

And if I were cofibean I would tell this directly to all the people accusing him of plagiarism - "IN YOUR FACE PARE!"

Yeah in your face pare!

LAX photos.

There, I changed na my header. Hope you callcenter orcs will stop na from reading my blog. I mean, whats your problem ba? Please make na lang your own blog and post your private thoughts there and not here. And please stop visiting my site. It's not for you naman eh.

Kapagod talaga the day today. Tapos muntikan pa kami maaksidente because of the stupid driver. He's not careful kasi while driving kanina muntikan pa kami tuloy mag-collide with another van at the Ventura Freeway. Naalala ko tuloy my stupid driver Mang Tonyo. Claude and I parted ways na sa airport. Iba kasi her way eh.

Will rest na muna for now. Below are some shots I took kanina.

The Theme Building - Encounters Restaurant. Kaasar na talaga kasi nightime na. Uber cool kaya that building.

The LAX terminal. I was really mad na when I took this photo kanina because wala pa our sundo. We waited almost two hours for them.

The Tom Bradley terminal. Claude was at my back making kulit na for us to eat na daw because we're like so gutom na din.

Next time na lang the other photos. Will keep you guys posted.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Just arrived.

Wala na talaga me ma-say to all the stupidity of the orcs posting some comments here. Wala naman balls. Wait til I make balik there sa Pinas. I'll let you have a piece of me.

So yun na nga diba? I was really tired na because of the flight tapos the welcome party is still not here pa at Tom Bradley International Terminal. It's like I've been waiting here for centuries na. Kulang na lang for me to be sold as an artifact tapos sale pa kasi I look haggard na. I bet, bobo din the chauffeur my mom got me. Damn talaga.

Also, ang uber cool kaya ng bagong banner ng site ko. "Make Poverty History." It's pretty obvious naman na I don't like the masa kaya I wan't them to become history na. Better kung extinct pa!

Siguro yun na muna for now. Will check lang if they're here na.

Chew on this you pakialameros!

My attorney issued this for all of my readers---


We are really awed by the public's response to this journal. The 15,000+ visitors and 874 comments to his 13 entries in one month is really remarkable. And to that, we would like to extend our gratitude.

Before anything else, let us first give you some facts about this journal/blog:

1. is a personal journal pointing out some personal views, opinions, philosophical musings and commentary on some social issues. Meaning, everything on this site are mere hyperboles and based purely on the opinion of the author.

Definition of BLOG:A weblog or blog (derived from web + log) is a web-based publication consisting primarily of periodic articles (normally, but not always, in reverse chronological order). Although most early blogs were manually updated, tools to facilitate the updating and maintenance of such sites made them accessible to a much larger and less technical population. The use of some sort of browser-based software is now a typical aspect of "blogging."

2. was created on October 1, 2005 by the author, cofibean, whom decided to blog anonymously which is perfectly legal.

The Supreme Court has repeatedly upheld the First Amendment right to speak anonymously: "author is generally free to decide whether or not to disclose his or her true identity. The decision in favor of anonymity may be motivated by fear of economic or official retaliation, by concern about social ostracism, or merely by a desire to preserve as much of one's privacy as possible. Whatever the motivation may be...the interest in having anonymous works enter the marketplace of ideas unquestionably outweighs any public interest in requiring disclosure as a condition of entry. Accordingly, an author's decision to remain anonymous, like other decisions concerning omissions or additions to the content of a publication, is an aspect of the freedom of speech protected by the First Amendment."

3. resides on a public server which is, which is an easy-to-use website in publishing users thoughts and at the same time interact with people, which is given to the public for free. Blogger is located in San Francisco therefore covered by the US Federal Law section 230 which states that "No provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be treated as the publisher or speaker of any information provided by another information content provider." This federal law preempts any state laws to the contrary: "[n]o cause of action may be brought and no liability may be imposed under any State or local law that is inconsistent with this section." The courts have repeatedly rejected attempts to limit the reach of Section 230 to "traditional" Internet service providers, instead treating many diverse entities as "interactive computer service providers."

And now for some legal issues:

Below are some legal liabilities accused of this site and we would like to quote one:

Hi All,
I would just like to inform everyone that this is a dangerous way of creating fun. You see, this blog has many infractions against legality. Anybody can sue the author. If I were really a freak, I would have done so. But I'm not the kind that will waste my time and effort for a piece of @#&%@. Sure do I can get a lot of money if I successfully prove this $#^%$ guilty. It's either I sue the author of this blog or I sue the moderators(Google) for allowing such blog to exist in their database. That would be a lot of money!

Dearest Dude,You can be easily tracked through your IP Adress. Your IP Address is your identity on the net. Since your ip address is unique, it will tell who's your Internet Service Provider(ISP). Your ISP in turn has all your personal information. So, Cofibean... if you have read this thread, start apologyzing and delete all your posts... or better yet close this blog. We don't want you in jail.

This is a friendly reminder from someone who cares.

We would like to thank the individual for airing that concern. But we would like to clarify some things:

The basic idea of defamation law is simple. It is an attempt to balance the private right to protect one's reputation with the public right to freedom of speech. Defamation law allows people to sue those who say or publish false and malicious comments.

There are two types of defamation.
* Oral defamation -- called slander -- for example comments or stories told at a meeting or party.
* Published defamation -- called libel -- for example a newspaper article or television broadcast. Pictures as well as words can be libellous.

Anything that injures a person's reputation can be defamatory. If a comment brings a person into contempt, disrepute or ridicule, it is likely to be defamatory.
* You tell your friends that the boss is unfair. That's slander of the boss.
* You write a letter to the newspaper saying a politician is corrupt. That's libel of the politician, even if it's not published.
* You say on television that a building was badly designed. That's libel due to the imputation that the architect is professionally incompetent, even if you didn't mention any names.
* You sell a book that contains defamatory material. That's spreading of a defamation.

Obviously, we are being accused of published defamation because of some personal views that were expressed. We already made our defense on this matter and were enumerated below:

1. is a personal journal therefore the author is in the position to express his private thoughts, views and opinions. The author also enabled his journal's commenting system thus also gathering some responses to his writeups. And to quote a few:

"Jarvie Sheen ( said... pinaglihi ka siguro ng mother mo sa sama ng loob ano? yung sa sobrang sama eh ini-ebak na lang public restroom tapos umalingasaw sa baho dahil inuuod na at mamasa-masa pa tapos biglang nawalan ng tubis at walang toilet paper, of course, naiwanan kang nakabuhaghag don sa inidoro at doon ka lumaki kaya akala mo inidoro ka narin... Kaya ang lumalabas sa bunganga mo eh mistulang ebak sa baho pati na rin ang ugali mo.Ngayon pupunta ka sa US upang ebak na may tamod, uod, at dugo-dugo pa ang iyong sasahurin galing sa mga BAKLA sa lugar na yan di ba??? Bagay ka nga diyan at isama mo na rin ang Driver mong Tatay na si Tonyo at dyan magtulong kayong mag janitor sa mga gay bar.... sayang din yan... pandagdag sa kayabangan este sa kayamanan mo ha ha ha..."

"dragonrower ( said... tanga ka talaga, kung gusto mo magkaroon ng journal na walang comment page, wag as blog hehehe, tsupain mo na lang tatay mo, better yet driver mo! mwehehehehe!"

"Anonymous said... You're one spoiled cock sucking filthy animal. I bet you had a very disastrous childhood. Maybe your good old dad fucked your ass really bad and you cannot get over it thats why your putting up all this shit. You son of a bitch! Can you feel us now?! Post your home address you sick fuck and see whats waiting for you."

Now, if you have plans of filing a case against my client for defamation, better think twice, because you will represent all of the individuals who posted some defamatory comments on this site which we suppose is also exercising their freedom of expression. For the law states that:

The readers' comments, entries written by guest bloggers, tips sent by email, and information provided to the general public through an RSS feed would all likely be considered information provided by another content provider. This would mean that they can also be held liable for defamatory statements contained in it.


2. Also, the person who sent the following email to cofibean is facing another law suit:

Joel Aguilar <> wrote:
Yo!! You mother fuckin fagot... Anyone could have looked that stuff up in a book, are you really that stupid. Shit like you dont deserve to live... Why do you try so hard to express yourself in english when your own native tounge cant express crap!!!!! Damn your a fuckin disgrace, if you cant express yourself in english or tagalog, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! Why you got to act all crazy and shit...Stop being a wannabe. Who gives a fuck about your phones and shit...You think thats gonna attract a chick...well i guess maybe a faggot ass chick who smells like shit would!!!!!! Money is everything to everybody. Well maybe to someone like you who sucks on his fathers dick to make a withdrawal money means alot, coz i would never fuck my parents just to get the things i want. What do you care about comments regards to cailfornia? If thats what people think let them think that way... Who died and made you GOD? For all those people who want to think that theres no snow in California go ahead....You dont have to listen to this piece of asswipe. Losing a phone is not what you call bad luck you asshole its called stupidity and carelessness. And what is it with you can call center agents? Are you like jealous cause we have jobs and you just do blow jobs to get your money? Now listen up here you dumb mother fuckin butt lickin asswipe of a faggot!!!! I know you and if your not careful with your tounge and how you use it..Im gonna make sure that instead of you kissin ass to your parents (who by the way are probably the reason why you act so retarded) your gonna be kissing the ground.. you know me very well.. and i know you very well.. so you better back up the shit you said.. if you want to kill someone then do it, dont just talk the shit. coz if i get 20 replies to my email from other bloggers there that want your head..i'll give it to them I dont talk shit and i certainly wont back away from you mother your back, better keep your head up or you may never see the light of day anyone who has a comment just email me at by the way you can call me iyce aguilar

We are more than glad to face any legal actions filed against the author of this site.

Please be guided accordingly.

- Cofibean's Legal Counsel

Monday, October 31, 2005


It was really annoying talaga pare. It was like I'm so malas today. I invited pa naman a girl to shop with me kanina so I told my mom na I don't need a driver na. Especially an old driver pa. Negative pogi points kaya if I am dating someone tapos may chaperon pa. Tapos oldie pa! I'm no longer a kid kaya tapos I have a driver pa.

So yun na nga diba, when I looked at the garage, my car was missing so I told my mom, "Mom, where's my car?" And she told me na my father is using it daw and that I have to settle na lang daw on my old car which is a Toyota Vios. Damn talaga! Kung kelan pa I will make porma, wala pa my car. I don't like the Vios kaya. What will people think no? It's bulok na kaya and one headlight is busted pa. It's so squatter talaga. So I'm like a taxi driver na diba. I'm really embarrased talaga when I picked Jaja from Multinational Paranaque, her mom looked at me like sama pa. What the fuck is she thinking no? I look like a good boy kaya and not to mention my uber cool porma with matching oakley shades pa. I was just like making porma pa naman to her daughter tapos she will act that way. The hell! She's like so weird no. I just made bati na lang then asked Jaja to get inside the car para makaalis na kami away from that freaky house and from her weirdo mom.

On our way to ATC, my tire got flat pa. Of all times naman pare, I don't know pa naman how to change a flat tire. As if naman I will change it no. I'm afraid kaya na my getup will get sira pa. So I called my mom and told her that I need Mang Tonyo to pick us up because the damn vios car broke down. Kahiya talaga with my date. So we waited for half an hour before Mang Tonyo arrived. Fuck talaga that old guy, it was like so lapit lang kaya tapos it took him half an hour pa! So I made galit na lang to Mang Tonyo infront of Jaja to make paimpress na I have a slave no. After that, we decided to shop na lang at ATC instead of Rockwell kasi its raining daw sa Manila. I invested pa naman two hours in my looks tapos it will get basa lang. No way pare! Never will I allow myself to look like the orc-like jologs working at a callcenter no. They are always like basa kaya underneath those thick jackets and looks like baho pa!

Tapos at ATC, I got dulas pa because one of the stupid Janitor is not doing his job. I was really embarassed talaga kanina because almost all of the katutubos inside the mall were like looking at me and giggling. I mean seriously, whats their problem ba? Siguro they were all just inggit lang because I still look good no after making dulas at that slippery floor. I know how to handle my poise kaya unlike them, even though hinde pa sila nadudulas they all look like the floors na. Kadire talaga those people.

I was really infuriated talaga kanina because of the laughing katutubos and the badvibes. Tapos my date made yaya pa ng uwi agad. Damn! Shes missing out on something pare. Shit talaga! So yun na nga diba? We have to go early without me buying anything pa. Shit talaga! What's her problem din ba? I bet she got that from her weirdo mom din no! Well fuck 'em both. As if naman I'm really after her. She's nothing kaya compared to Ysabelle.

Well, siguro tama na muna that for now. Will stop na muna blogging. Have to finish pa some stuff before I leave for US tomorrow.

And to all the fucking katutubong low-life pakialemors no... have a life will you! Hope you all rot in hell! FUCK YOU ALL! Pakasawa kayo for two weeks. I'll make ganti na lang when I get back. It's my opinion kaya, so up to now, WALA PA RIN KAYONG SAY!

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Uber bilis lang

It's getting annoying na rin. So here are some pointers for you bout California you bobo peeps:

First of all, most bobo peeps like you, living outside California or has never been to California (like you ulit) assume the state is covered by dagat. This bobo myth can be debunked simply by looking at a map of the state. California is covered on ONLY one side by the karagatan, leaving that to be the only borderline to allow beaches. THERE ARE NO BEACHES INLAND, where most of the people live.

Secondly, not all Californians ay nakatira sa beach. Clear those bobo visions of a whole state full of sun worshippers right now. Sure, Southern California beaches are sunny, crowded and are the basis of many California beach myths. Almost the entire Northern California coastline, however, is smothered kaya with fog year-round. Maybe this is the place I would recommend to you dogs para manigas you sa lamig no.

Thirdly, Californians do not, repeat not all surf. It just doesn't happen. Please revert to the discussion about most people living inland. Maniwala man or not, most Californians could care less about surfing. There are better things to do like grow artichokes and garlic and watch some katutubos freeze to death on the Sierras because they don't have any WINTER CLOTHES.

The second set of myths that dominate California mythology focuses on snow. Like what most of the bobo peeps commented on my site. If the state of California is just one big beach, how can there possibly be any snow, right?

Well, THERE IS SNOW IN CALIFORNIA. And many Californians eat snow and not sand. The Sierras which is about 2-3 hours ride from the Bay area have snow on it the whole year round. So in your face pare! I really hate posers no. Kaya before you comment, know all information about anything before you say something. Nahahalata kasi na you are Callcenter traveler-wannabes eh. Shitty talaga your mentality.



I'll be leaving for L.A. this November 2. So I guess that will make you katutubos happy na. I'll be in L.A. for two weeks with Claude. I'll just make gala lang ang shop. That's my forte naman eh. And I'm really good at it. I have a list na nga of things to buy when I get to Rodeo Drive. That is where kasi Prada Epicenter (which is an uber cool store because of the changing room walls that will go from clear to opaque with a single touch), Michael Kors, Dolce and Gabbana (which opened theif first stateside men's store btw), Gucci, and the new store my cousin has been making kwento since August pa - BCBG Max Azria! Hay, I've been bitten ata by the shopping bug eh kaya I'm kinda shopaholic na. Damn!

The plane will leave Manila around 8:30 PM so I don't have enough time na nga to buy new clothes for the trip. My winter jacket kasi is like a year old na. Its like ancient na. I don't want to become the laughing stock naman of my friends there right? So anyways, baka bukas I'll drop by Rockwell to buy for myself a new one. I have to buy na rin pala new mittens kasi mine got sira na rin when we visited Alaska last January. Now, I'm really lito na on what to do. So many things to do, yet so little time. :(

And here's what I have to say about some nasty comments which I tried to make bura na din for quite some time now and got tired na by doing so:

To all the death threats: In your face pare. You guys are sooo creepy no. Kulang na lang na someone will make Awooo on the background to complete the effect eh. Siguro you people are just inggit lang because I'm like sikat na and so gwapo pa. Stop irritating my aura no.

To all the callcenter faggots: I paid someone na to make pasabog Malate this November 1 to wipe out na the entire bakla population of the Philippines. At least I'm doing you guys a favor kasi I'll be sending you na agad to heaven, express pa!

To all the good people: Hey pare, thanks for respecting my blog ha? Don't you worry guys, I'm ignoring na naman all the sickos here. And hey, if you want to add me on friendster, here's my address: I'm cool pare, don't worry. And the same goes to all the cute chicks.

And I bet most of you are inggit na naman. Drool up to sawa pare. I get to go to L.A. just to enjoy and you have to asa pa na your company will bring you there for training. >:P

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Fuck you all.

I wasted my afternoon making bura of some bobo comments on my site. Most of 'em talking bout shit and stuff. Some imbecile callcenter fags kasi made some kadire comments here. Asa pa you all no! Hope someone will make pasabog Malate this November 1 para mawala na the fag community! Shit talaga the choice of bakla words you have. It only reflects what kind of commonality you guys have. Go fuck na lang your dogs no or better yet, fuck na lang each other! Doon naman kayo good at eh.

Tapos, there are some pa making yabang about their compensations at a callcenter.. Really now ha! All I can say is that dream on you moronic katutubos! I really don't care how you work your asses off just to earn the amount of compensation that you claim. Almost 95% naman of your earning goes to your pathetic lifestyles eh. Like buying some SECOND HAND stuffs.. like bulok cars, cellfones and even clothes. And I bet some of them are hulugans pa! Kadire talaga you dogs! Tapos the remaining 5% goes na to your dog food. Sabagay, you only need little nutrients lang naman to feed your katiting na brains no! I bet you are just inggit lang dahil I have what most of what you are just dreaming of! Hahaha! Don't worry, I will donate na lang my old clothes or better yet auction it para naman maka-afford na kayo ng mga signature clothes and off with the cheap imitations. Its kinda irritating na kasi seeing you guys with your tasteless getups eh. I mean, whats up ba with the thick jackets and fur coats ha? Eh its so init naman in the Philippines no. I bet you are the ones who needs to make lipat na lang to another bansa because I think you don't belong here no! I bet you people are so baho na inside whenever you take off those jackets kasi all your kili-kilis are like basa na! Like haven't you heard of Driclor or Botox ba? Sabagay, you can only afford tawas and rexonas in sachets lang pala. Silly me. Haha.

Tapos kanina, I was really like malas pa. Kasi I lost na agad the new phone I bought yesterday. I don't know if I left it at Starbs Standard Chartered or somewhere else in Makati during a business meeting this morning. Tapos Ysabelle pa is making gulo on my mind. Now, I'm soo fucking depress na pare.

And to all the LOSER COMMENTS can just like fucking pakamatay na lang kaya. Its my personal opinion no, so wala kayong say. And to all the friendly posts on my journal pare, thanx ha? Ingats sila sa inyo.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Naturally metrosexual

The rain was really pouring yesterday kaya I wore na the new Prada Tela Tecnica jacket my cousin bought me from London. She made yabang pa nga na it costed her a whopping 450 pounds daw. Eh its like a small portion lang kaya of her allowance every month. That biatch! But she was sweet no, kasi she told me na it was an advance birthday gift daw for me because I'll be turning 23 na this coming December.

Our maid even told me pa nga na I look like a hollywood actor pa daw because of my uber cool getup yesterday. Duh! Its like given na kaya. I don't even have to make extra effort pa to look cool unlike those orc-like jologs thats been invading makati lately. Damn pare, I bet some chicks couldn't help but to drool when they saw me making baba from the car yesterday. I'm the bomb talaga pare.

Anyways, I only had a couple of meetings yesterday before I decided to go home. But prior to that, I tried checking out the new Coffee Bean joint near our office, pero I backed out when I saw a group of baho callcenter peeps with their flashy, much-effort exerted, rather gaudy getups. It was soo annoying talaga pare so I have to leave agad because of all the badvibes and BO pa. I got afraid na baka they will make gaya pa of my uber cute at cool na porma. Those losers! Its obvious naman na they're only wearing masa-clothes bought from Bench tapos sale pa!

I read the comments posted din, and some people are totally stupid talaga. There are like a thousand blogs kaya tapos they are flocking on my site pa like shit. Why don't you just create na lang your own blog no tapos have your pathetic colleagues post all their crap comments there and leave my private thoughts alone.

Also, I received an email nga pala from Ysabelle kanina that's making me sad now pare. I really have to go now and make myself lunod once again in my sorrows. :(

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Brent International School Baguio Reunion

Just got home from a reunion with some old friends and classmates at Brent, Baguio. Katamad talaga the viaje. Damn old Mang Tonyo pa, kasi he's so bagal mag-drive! Kainis kasi my mom for hiring pa such an old useless driver for me. I swear talaga na I will look na for a new one and replace that old shit. Damn! Anyways, I am sooo happy now pare and I told myself na I won't get affected na by some loser comments on this journal. Pakasawa kayo no. Or better yet, just play dead, rollover or fetch some sticks you native dogs! All call center peeps are good naman at that eh. Or if you want, I can give you money pa. Donation ko na sa inyo for being sooo fucking pathetic. As what I've said before, go bug someone else and brag your callcenter shit somewhere else. Inggit lang kayo because I'm like so gwapo and all of you looks like basuras. Well, it makes perfect sense naman eh, what's the difference ba between a dog, a callcenter agent and a squatter peep? Wala naman right? So learn to live with that!

Next week I'll be flying to L.A. with Claude. I got kasi a last-minute invite from an old friend who will be performing at the Dia de los Muertos event on November 6. The event will be held at Sherman Way, Canoga Park just right across our street - Jordan.

Well, it's late na pala. I have to go now. I have an appointment pa kasi later with my gym instructor at Hotel Intercon to shed some fats. I'm gaining weight na kasi lately eh from all the food binging for the past few days.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Tech Savvy

Feast your eyes on my new cellfone. The Nokia 9500! Shot this photo kanina together with my Nokia 9300 and 6820. I went kasi kanina to Greenhills with Claude and Andrew to look for a new laptop. Claude kasi will be needing a light one which she will bring to L.A. next week. Sobrang bulky and heavy kasi her other laptop. It would be a great experience sana minus the masa! Kadire talaga the place. It was like the place was crowded by a thousand and one skwakwaks and I bet almost 99.9% of them are callcenter people. Damn talaga Andrew for suggesting pa Greenhills on where to buy the laptop. The only good thing that happened was that I bought for myself a new cellfone na rin. Hahaha! Impulsive buyer. So fucking kulit kasi Claude for teasing me na my Nokia 6820 is ancient na daw and is kinda squeeky na. So there... I have a new gadget to play with. Kaasar pa nga the vendor kanina with all his technobabble eh I'm pretty much sold na nga.

I was really tired after Greenhills and need some good vibes replenishment so I told Mang Tonyo to bring us to Rockwell since malapit na naman the place. There, we saw this great restaurant, Brazil Brazil! Grabe talaga the barbeques on that place. They gave us a yoyo to signal the waiters when to stop from pouring on our table all kinds of barbeques. Damn pare! Kanina was the first time I tried barbequed pineapple. It was really sarap pala. I'm giving that restaurant seven out of ten spoons for serving the best barbeques in town!

Well that's my life. The life of a certified glitterati. In your face pare!

The Hell!

How come this world is so full of nincompoop morons who's really full of shit on their heads like those bobo callcenter agents. The hell pare! The last time I checked, there are no rules or restrictions as to where I want my thoughts be posted. The fuck talaga you pakialameros. As if naman I care no. Basta all I know is that you are all losers! I bet you don't even have any money to buy for yourself a decent second hand car. Kadire talaga the one who boasted na he loaned from a bank pa just to buy a car. Hahaha! It only showed how low you can get. The hell! 60 thousand your face pare or should I say, ASA PA YOU! Nobody is idiotic enough to give you washouts that amount of compensation because I wouldn't. Hahaha! I would even make-batok on your heads as an added bonus for being sooo fucking low. And to the one who commented na UA&P has the same tuition as Ateneo and Lasalle, well, the fuck! I bet the only newspaper you can afford to read are the ones that fits your bobo lifestyle.. Damn! And the hell with the one who said Max Brenner and Bizu cookies are sosyal na! The fuck! It only means na you haven't got the chance pa to get out of this country because, well, what do we need to expect pa nga ba from you katutubos.... you don't even have the means pa to do so unless padala kayo by your callcenter company abroad for FREE. Hahaha! There's like a million chichi places abroad pa if I really want to be sosyal unlike you na greenbelt 3 is sosyal na. Kadire talaga the mentality. Loser-posers! I pity you all. Go bug someone else you incompetents and leave my private thoughts alone! Better yet, stick to your own kind!

Fuck you all!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

I'm Like Fucking Annoyed!

Puta pare, I never thought some losers will still find this personal journal pa. What's your problem ba people? Fuck you all no. You're all such losers kaya. You are all so pathetic kaya! The hell! Make sulat na lang kaya all your hate comments on your squatter houses and not on my blog you fucking dorks. It's none of your fucking business what I think of other people kaya. I bet all the people who made some bobo comments on my site are the jologs call center people. Now, I'm so fucking annoyed na! Can't you all just like fucking pakamatay na lang or better yet have your pathetic lives donated to hell no. They need pa additional idiots there like you. And also carry with you all your crap comments. I don't need it kaya. The hell. You are all giving me bad vibes now no. And to all those inggit people, the hell! You are just making yabang of what you have eh your family don't have anything to eat na at home no. I bet, you just bought all your clothes from that ukay-ukay store along buendia no? In your face pare! Damn talaga you bobo katutubos!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Shet talaga!

I went to Makati Medical Plaza for my appointment with Belo because I was asked to come back by Dra. Muñoz. I am with my cuz Llyod because the good-to-nothing driver of mine, Mang Tonyo was sick again. Fuck talaga that matanda! My response to the drug was ok naman daw so we left early. But prior to that, I haven't eaten anything. I skipped my agahan because I was really getting concious na of my weight. The last time I tipped the scale it was like alarming na. Pero I was really hungry na kanina. Lloyd told me na there's a McDo near Makati Med, at the People Support's Center. Fuck talaga! Of all places. I hate pa naman the callcenter peeps. They really cloud my aura like shit. Such waste of talents! Damn! But I thought since maaga pa naman I assumed na lang na wala pa those jologs. At Mcdonalds, the place was ok naman. There are a few people eating na when we arrived. And I can say they are from the nearby offices because they look normal unlike those abnormal telemarketers.

Since I made my cousin Lloyd as my driver-alalay, I told him na I will pay na lang for his meal. He told me na he have a VIP card from Mcdonalds and would get some freebies when we reached 150.00 food purchase. So I ordered for myself a Chicken Spaghetti Combo, a twister fries, a large mcfloat and for him, a Mcfloat and Twister Fries combo. Our bill totalled P200+ so I presented my cousin's card together with the receipt but the bitch cashier told me na they ran out of giveaways na daw. The fuck! They should have told me na they don't have any more giveaways na that time so I didn't order na for an additional Mcfloat and Twister Fries. I was really infuriated talaga kanina. The manager was really incompetent para mawalan ng stocks of those promotional items. Damn! And not only that... the hell!... They made me wait pa for another 10 minutes at the counter. If I haven't told that bitchy cashier to just gave us a number instead of having me wait for our order, baka hinde pa tumakbo her brains. She was really soo bobo. I bet all of her professors from a cheap university were all bobo just like her. Shit talaga!

So I asked na lang for a customer feedback card from the assistant manager and wrote my disappointments with their kind of service. I really felt sorry for the owners of that Mcdo branch for hiring such incompetent people! Sabagay, what would you expect from that building crowded with bobo peeps.. Hay! Kahawa talaga the callcenter virus.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Major Lamo!

I've bumped with the ultimate loser, Major Lamo yesterday at Cibo, Glorietta. I never thought to see that jologs still hanging around the streets of metro. I thought somebody made salvage na of that pathetic jologs. Nasira talaga my aura last night. I really hate that shit since the first time I saw his damn shitty face around UA&P. Kumukulo talaga my blood. Damn government scholars!

Also, Claude made fun of the mabahong beggar we saw last night. She really scared the shit out of her! Why naman kasi they are letting those basuras to roam around the makati. I told Claude to make banga na lang that shit tutal nobody naman will miss IT. Hahaha!

Well, hafta hit the sack now. Hafta catch some shut eye first before I go to my evening appointment with Belo. That Roacutane stuff is making me lungkot lately. They said, depression is just one of the side-effects of that drug. At least I'm gwapo na naman uli. :)

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Movie tripping.

I went out with some friends to Greenbelt 3 to watch the European Gigolo which is being shown together with the 40 year old virgin. It was really funny talaga. I was making some loud tawas inside the cinema. Really non-stop laughing talaga. Everything was perfect except from some three kainis faggots infront of our seats. I think they are all callcenter peeps because of their cheap attires and kadire getups. Yucky talaga how they carry their clothes. You could see talaga the efforts exerted. Lols! I think they are more laughable than the movie itself. One of my friend even sang a hymn with a "how many baklas do you see" on the end. Hahaha! I really can't stop laughing talaga!

After the movie, we went to Coffee Bean to hang out. Pero grabe the wannabees and posers hanging there. I think all the maids on our building altogether made their weekly gathering because there was this group of cheap girls who were giggling like shit. Kainis talaga the tones of their voices. Bad vibes talaga! So I called na Mang Tonyo to pick me up because its late na din and I have to do something pa for office tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Bad dream.

Shit pare! Just woke up in the middle of the night because of a bad dream. I dreamt I was a driver daw of an ex-friend of mine, the loser - Dave the poser. I am driving with him daw around a market when he asked me to look after his car because he have to buy something from a store. That poser! Is he ok? Me, acting as a chaffeur to his cheap old toyota car? T'was like an old model kaya. A hand-me-down from his long dead father. Yai na! The dickhead@! Nakakasira talaga ng vibe pare. T'was like an uber negative vibe. Yuck talaga pare the scenario... I just can't try to imagine myself driving an old toyota model so I was looking around talaga for my driver Mang Tonyo but he is nowhere to be found. The fuck! I've been trying to get rid of that old guy that mama hired when I am still a cute little kid. He is useless talaga! He is always nowhere to be found. Not even on my fucking dreams! So I just tried to control myself and drove Dave the poser's antique car slowly over a corner and got off. I don't want to be seen on an old and bulok car like that no? I just bought a new car last month, and I was wondering how come my car wasn't on my dream. E di sana I left na lang the scene and drove home to have a cozy bath to replenish the good vibes.

Well, its really shitty talaga what happened next. When I got back to check on his antique car, it was no longer there. I think it was being towed or sumthin by a basurero because maybe he taught it was like a pile of rusting metal sheets that he could sell per kilos at a local junk shop. Shit talaga that old car! The car was like ancient na tapos it got lost pa! So I tried looking for it daw from a certain car park nearby but it was not there. I was really kabado talaga on my dream. It was like totoo kasi eh. Then there was this establishment that I went in and asked if the skwakwaks from inside saw where it went but they knew nothing daw! Well what do you expect from all those katutubos hanging in that old dump! Mas maganda pa bahay ng labrador ko from that place. It was like baho talaga and really dirty. Its starting to cloud na on my aura. Not to mention all the bad vibes I'm getting from that old and bulok na car of that fucking Dave the Poser.

Well, thats not all pare. In exchange daw for the little information they think that they knew on where the car might be, I have daw to work for them. It's like earning my way in exchange for the information they have. Shit talaga pare! I made laba of all their baho clothes and other cheap thingies they have. If only I could stop from there and change the channel of my dream to something more light and more soothing other than being with some losers and a fucking poser. The hell talaga pare my dream. It's making my head so sakit right now. Ahhh! Fuck them. And that ex-friend of mine, Dave the Poser was like being uber kind which is really not him. He was like a poser kaya. Just trying to mingle with mayayamans like us to be regarded as one. The hell! Social climber talaga pare! Good thing I disowned the loser or else I'll end up like him. The fuck talaga pare! I bet now, he is working as a callcenter peep in Ayala... Haha! He deserves it... Callcenters are for losers! Tehe!

I forgot na how my dream ended. Basta the good thing about it is that it ended. Fuck!

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Nice to be here.

Shit pare! This is my first time to post here. I'm so glad that there's something like this pala sa net. And I thought before t'was only loaded by loser-sites and porno craps. All of 'em only giving me negative vibes pare.

I think I need to recharge now my aura. It's been completely drained lately because of all the fucking shit people around me. Tang-ina nilang lahat! They are all full of shit! And that old lady officemate of mine. I never thought na pwede pa palang magwork ang mga senior citizens dito sa office. I never did like her since the first time I laid my goodlooking eyes on her. Shit pare and I wished I never did because it really got irritated right after. Hope she just drop dead on the spot or be killed by a million stab wounds made by the kadiri squatter fishball vendors outside.

By the way, Coffee Bean will soon be opening a branch near our office. At the ground floor of a newly constructed building. A friend of mine made sabi before na Starbucks is an evil corp so I think I need to change na. Fuck Starbs! They are crowded na by callcenter peeps that's been crowding makati na like cheap mushrooms. I hate them all, they are all sooo jologs! I think I saw some of them crowding pa nga this ukay-ukay store along Buendia right beside the katakot West of Ayala Building.

Hope they just all drop dead. They are crowding Makati na! It's like kadire na to work here in Makati because of the callcenter skwakkwaks hanging around. Shit! If one of them mess with my aura, I swear I'm going to shove something up they squatters asses! That will serve them right. Losers!

Well, I think now I have to hit the sack! Later pare.