Thursday, December 01, 2005

The monkey family.



December 1 is considered as World AIDS Day. So to hell with all those filthy AIDS carriers!




My mom told me kanina to go with my stupid relatives to Duty Free Paranaque. Eh my stupid mother kaya knows na I have something to do later with friends. So I made sabi to her, "Ma, I'll go out with Andrew and Claude later. Diba nga we will look na for some relief goods for the employees natin this Christmas?" Tapos my mom told me na it's been taken cared of na raw by Ibyang. Ibyang is her stupid secretary. Actually, she's like Night of the Living Dead na pare. As in living relic of ancient history talaga. In the flesh!

So yun na nga diba? I have no choice na naman but to abide with the fucking maternal commandments. It was really like pampasira na naman ng aura. Imagine, I'll drive some stupid people to Duty Free Paranaque like a bunch of bakasyonistas eh they all look so local naman. So I was really inis kanina. I told pa nga my stupid mom na why don't she go with them na lang kaya and borrow my useless native driver Mang Tonyo to drive them. Since I can drive na naman. I'm like malaki na kaya. And I can drive na naman and don't need pa a stupid driver right by my side all the time. Especially, that old, good for nothing katutubo, Mang Tonyo. Fuck talaga! Another perfect day ruined na naman diba.

But what can I do? It's my mom who told me that. I'm afraid she'll cut na naman the payments to my monthly dues at my credit cards. Diba pare that's double foul na? I mean, I'm not a driver naman no. I'm too goodlooking to become a driver. And besides, I literally disowned naman that part of our family tree eh. They are all so ugly kaya. Tapos they'll ride pa with me. Ano me, travelling zoo? Kadiri talaga pare. Still I have no choice but to follow the family's matriarch. Damn!

So yun na nga diba? I was the most gwapo driver in the world kanina to a bunch of monkeys. Tapos they are all so ingay pa. I mean, can't they see na I was like uber simangot kanina while driving. Tapos my stupid Auntie pa keeps on talking to me like wala lang. Feeling close! Fuck talaga! If only I could make her tulak outside the car, I just did siguro. The hell!

At dutyfree, Filipino mentality talaga really shows. Kadiri talaga the people there. I mean, what's with the panic buying ba? Eh all the items kaya inside duty free are readily available naman now at some major malls. If only I knew that I'll get to brush shoulders with some baho Domestic Helpers with their squatting brood, I should have dropped the family of monkeys at SM Sucat and will just fetch them like after a week na lang sana. Para my aura can like rest na from all the ingays no. Shit talaga. One good thing that happened lang is when I saw one brand of perfume there. I really can't stop laughing talaga pare. I mean, Paris Hilton now has her own Brand of Perfume with her pic pa on the box! How pathetic. Tsk.. Tsk.. Well, why ba me affected? I mean.. it's her life naman no. So, why should I give a damn at that bitch eh I have a family of monkeys to worry pa pala inside the fiesta mall. The hell pare!

Since I was there na naman, I thought of shopping na rin. One good thing about Duty Free is that it's tax free so it's kinda mura. But I won't allow myself to be like the native pinoys who's been panic buying no. It's not Judgement Day pa naman pare. So I bought na lang for myself some Loreal products like Tec Ni Art Fix Anti-Frizz and Thermo Fixing spray, a couple of perfumes and a bag of chocolates. I've been craving kasi for chocolates for the past few days eh. Kasi I read an article saying that Chocolates can alleviate you from the pit of depression daw. More like a feel-good-food pare.

Katakot pa nga the guy offering the bag of chocolates to me eh. Kadiri kaya his face. It's like survivor pare ng Hiroshima bombing. Like he was standing infront of a glass building when the explosion happened. I mean, what's with the humongous craters ba sa face? Its casting some shadows kaya under the bright light. And I think I saw pa nga some water with kiti-kitis na inside one of the craters no. And why work pa as a salescrew if you will scare naman all your customers away? Me nga muntik na mapasigaw when he suddenly appeared from behind the shelves eh. I said, "Ngii!" na lang right in his face tapos left. Creepy eh. As in kulang na lang talaga Awooo pare.

Well, the only consolation lang I got from the deal is that I haven't seen even a single Orc today. Yey me!

That's all na muna for now pare. I'm really tired na kasi.

96 comments:

Anonymous said...

haha! laughtrip ka, dude!

You know if you keep posting stuff like this on the Net then you're really bound to take some heat from a lot of people.
It's like the social contract theory. anyway, i won't make paporma with big words and phrases.

You're right these are your thoughts and cofibean.blogspot.com is your blog. The problem is you allow us to see it and you put up a Comments link pa. We can't sue you, bro, but you can't sue us either. Gets? You produce bad vibes so bad vibes is what you're gonna get in return.

anyway, whatever. still a fun read, this blog. whether it's fiction or not.

peachy said...

parang lahat ng bagay na lang sa mundo ay pangit... don't u know how to appreciate man lang... minsan nga sulat ka na lang ng masaya at walang panlalait... mas ok yun kasi baka one time madiscover ka at maging tulad ka ng blogspot ni xiaxue... commercialized na.... baka u haven't check - xiaxue.blogspot.com

Crouching Kitten, Hidden Earthworm said...

I like the:

"I should have dropped the family of monkeys at SM Sucat and will just fetch them like after a week na lang sana."

For the first time, your post made me laugh.

'Thought & Humor' said...

There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.

May this Christmas
be your time to laugh,
embrace & for
personal peace,
Dr. Howdy


P.S. Merry Christmas in over 350 languages:


Acholi - Mot ki Yomcwing Botwo Me Mwaka Manyen
Adhola - Wafayo Chamo Mbaga & Bothi Oro Manyeni
Aeka- Keremisi jai be
Afrikaans - Geseende Kerfees en 'n gelukkige
nuwe jaar
Ahtna - C'ehwggelnen Dzaenh
Aklanon - Malipayon nga Paskwa ag Mahigugmaon nga Bag-ong Dag-on

Albanian - Gëzuar Krishlindjet Vitin e Ri!
Aleut - Kamgan Ukudigaa
Alsatian - E gueti Wïnâchte & E glecklichs Nej Johr!
Alur - Wafoyo Kado Oro & Wafoyo Tundo Oro manyeni
Alutiiq - Spraasnikam & Amlertut Kiaget!
Amharic - Melkam Yelidet Beaal
Amuesha - Yomprocha' ya' nataya
Send an animated Christmas eCard - click here !
Angami - U kenei Christmas mu teicie kes a-u sie teicie
kesa-u sie niepete keluo shuzaie we
Apache (Western) - Gozhqq Keshmish
Arabic - I'D Miilad Said ous Sana Saida
Aragonese - Nabidà! & Goyosa Añada benién.
Aramaic - Edo bri'cho o rish d'shato brich'to!
Aranés - Bon Nadau!
Arawak - Aba satho niw jari da'wisida bon
Armenian - Shenoraavor Nor Dari yev Soorp Janunt

Aromanian - Crãciunu hãriosu shi unu anu nãu, bunu!
Araucanian - Wi tripantu in che
Asturian - Bones Navidaes & Gayoleru anu nuevu!
Assamese - Rongaali Bihur xubhessaa lobo
Ata - Maroyan na Pasko woy kaopia-an ng Bag-ong
Tuig kaniyo't langon mga sulod
Aukan - Wi e winsi i wan bun nyun yali
Aymara - Sooma Nawira-ra
Azeri - Tezze Iliniz Yahsi Olsun
Bafut - Mboni Chrismen & Mboni Alooyefee
Bahasa/Malaysia - Selamat Hari Natal dan Tahun Baru
Send an animated Christmas eCard - click here !
Bamoun - Poket Kristmet & Poket lum mfe
Banen - Enganda ye hiono mes & Hion Hios Hes
Bandang - Mbung Mbung Krismie & Mbung Mbung Ngouh Suiie
Basque - Zorionak eta Urte Berri On!
Bassa - Ngand Nwi Lam & Mwi Lam
Batak Karo - Mejuah-juah Ketuahen Natal
Bemba - Kristu abe nenu muli ino nshiku nkulu ya Mwezi
Belorussian - Winshuyu sa Svyatkami i z Novym godam!
To view the flags and hear the anthems of these countries, click here.
Bengali - Shuvo Baro Din - Shuvo Nabo Barsho
Bhojpuri - Naya Sal Mubarak Ho
Bicolano - Maugmang Capascuhan asin Masaganang Ba-gong Taon!
Bislama - Mi wisim yufala eerywan one gutfala Krismas
& mo wan hapi New Year long
Blaan - Pye duh di kaut Kristo klu munt ug Felemi Fali!
Blackfoot - I'Taamomohkatoyiiksistsikomi
Bohemian/Czech - Prejeme Vam Vesele Vanoce a Stastny novy rok
Brahui - Arkas caik xuda are


Breton - Nedeleg laouen na bloav ezh mat
Bulgarian - Chestita Koleda i Shtastliva Nova Godina
Bulu - Duma e bo'o
Bura - e be Zambe e Usa ma ka Kirisimassu
Catalan - Bon Nadal i feliç any nou!
Cantonese - Seng Dan Fai Lok, Sang Nian Fai Lok
Carib - Sirito kypoton ra'a
Carrier - Zoo dungwel & Soocho nohdzi doghel
Carolinian - Ameseighil ubwutiiwel Layi Luugh me raagh fee

Cebuano - Malipayong Pasko ug Bulahang Bag-ong Tuig!
Chamorro - Filis Pasgua & Filis Anu Nuebo
Chaha Bogem h n mh m & Boxem as nana-h m
Chamba - Wi na ge nyare Su dome Kirismass
Cherokee - Danistayohihv & Aliheli'sdi Itse Udetiyvsadisv
Cheyenne - Hoesenestotse & Aa'e Emona'e
Chichewa - Moni Wa Chikondwelero Cha Kristmasi
Chiga - Mwebare khuhika - Ha Noel
Choctaw - Yukpa, Nitak Hollo Chito
Cornish - Nadelik looan na looan blethen noweth


Corsican - Bon Natale e Bon capu d' annu
Cree - Mitho Makosi Kesikansi
Creek - Afvcke Nettvcakorakko
Creole/Seychelles - Bonn e Erez Ane
Croatian - Sretan Bozic
Dagbani - Ni ti Burunya Chou & Mi ti yuun
Damara/Nama - Khiza
Danish - Glædelig Jul og godt nytår
Click on any language Name for detailed information
Dibabawon - Marayaw na Pasko aw Bag-ong Tui g kaniyo tibo na mga soon
Dinka - Miet puou yan dhiedh Banyda tene Yin
Dine/Navajo - Ya'at'eeh Keshmish
Divehi - Ufaaveri aa ahareh
Dschang - Chrismi a lekah Nguo Suieh
Duri - Christmas-e- Shoma Mobarak
Dutch - Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar!
Egyptian - Colo sana wintom tiebeen
English - Merry Christmas & Happy New Year

Eritrean - Rehus-Beal-Ledeat
Esperanto - Gajan Kristnaskon & Bonan Novjaron
Estonian - Rõõmsaid Jõulupühi ja Head uut aastat
Éwé - Blunya na wo
Ewondo - Mbemde abog abyali nti! Mbembe Mbu!
Faroese - Gledhilig jól og eydnurikt nýggjár!
Fali - Use d'h Krismass
Farsi - Sal-e no mubarak
Fijian - Me Nomuni na marau ni siga ni sucu dei na yabaki vou
Finnish - Hyvää Joulua or Hauskaa Joulua - 0nnellista uutta vuotta
Flemish - Zalig Kerstfeest en Gelukkig nieuw jaar
French - Joyeux Noël et Bonne Année!
Frisian - Noflike Krystdagen en in protte Lok en Seine yn it Nije Jier!
Friulian - Bon Nadâl e Bon An Gnûf
Fulfulde - Jabbama be salla Kirismati
Gaddang - Mangamgam Bawa a dawun sikua diaw amin
Galician - Bon Nadal e Bo Ani Novo
Gari - !Soalokia God i gotu vasau, mi lao ke ba na
rago vanigira ara dou i matana!
Gciriku - Mfiyawidi yaKrisimisa & Marago ghaMwaka waUpe
Georgian - Gilotsavt Krist'es Shobas & Gilosavt akhal ts'els
German - Fröhliche Weihnachten und ein glückliches Neues Jahr!
Gikuyu - Gia na Thigukuu njega Na MwakaM weru wi Gikeno
Gitskan - Hisgusgitxwsim Ha'niisgats Christ gankl Ama Sii K'uuhl!
Golin - Yesu kule nongwa kaun umaribe ongwa ena mone di mile wai wen milo
Greek - Kala Christougenna Ki'eftihismenos O Kenourios Chronos
Greenlandic - Juullimi Ukiortaassamilu Pilluarit
Guahibo - Pexania Navidadmatacabi piginia pexaniapejanawai paxainaename
Guambiano - Navidadwan Tabig tugagunrrigay & Sru pilawan kasrag utunrrigay
Guarani - Avyaitete ahi ko Tupa ray arape qyrai Yy Kapyryin rira
Guarayu - Imboeteipri tasecoi Tupa i vave! & Ivve ava Tupa
rembiaisu toyuvirecoi turpi oyeaisusa pipe!
Gujarati - Natal ni shub kaamnao & Saal Mubarak
Gwere - Osusuku Omusa & Masuke Omwaka
Gwich'in - Drin tsal zhit shoh ohlii & Drin Choo zhit zhoh ohlii
Han - Drin tsul zhit sho ahlay & Drin Cho zhit sho ahlay
Hausa - Barka da Kirsimatikuma Barka da Sabuwar Shekara!
Hawaiian - Mele Kalikimaka & Hauoli Makahiki Hou
Haya - Waihuka na Noeli & Waihhuka n 'Omwaka
Hebrew - Mo'adim Lesimkha. Shanah Tova
Heiban - Ati kalo gathje uwa gigih
Herero- Okresmesa ombwa Ombura ombe ombwa
Hiligaynon - Malipayon nga paskua & Malipayon Nga Bag-ong tuig
Hindi - Shubh Naya Baras
Holo - Seng-tan khoai-lok!
Hmong - Nyob Zoo Xyoo Tahiab
Hungarian - Kellemes karácsonyi ünnepeket és Boldog újévet!

Hungduan - Maphon au nitungawan. Apo Dios Kituwen baron di toon
Iban - Selamat Ari Krismas enggau Taun Baru
Ibanag - nga Pascua
Icelandic - Gleðileg Jól og Farsaelt Komandi ár!
Send an animated Christmas eCard - click here !
Igbo - Ekelere m gi maka Keresimesi na ubochi izizi afo ozo
Ikiribati - Te Mauri, Te Raoi ao Te Tabomoa nakoimi nte Kirimati ao te
Ririki ae Bou
Ilocano - Naimbag a Pascua ken Naragsac nga Baro nga Tawen!
Imbongu - Gotenga malo Jisasi Karaist
Indonesian - Selamat Hari Natal & Selamat Tahun Baru
Inupiaq - Annaurri Aniruq & Paglaun Ukiutchiaq
Inupiatun - Quvianaq Agaayuniqpak
Iraqi - Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah
Irish - Nollaig Shona Dhuit
Iroquois - Ojenyunyat Sungwiyadeson homungradon nagwutut & Ojenyunyat
osrasay
Italian - Buon Natale e Felice Anno Nuovo
Japanese - Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto
Javanese - Sugeng Natal lan warsa enggal
Jèrriais - Bouan Noué et Bouanne Année
Kabyle - Assegwas ameggaz
Kadazan - Kotobian Tadau Do Krimas om Toun Vagu
Kahua - Na vagevageha surireua na Kirisimasi ma na harisi naoru
Kala Lagaw Ya - Ngi ngayka Koei trimal Kaz
Kambaata - eman haaro wegga illisholce
Kamba - Ithiwa na Kisimsi Kiseo & Na Mwaka Mweu Museo


Kannada - Hosa Varushada Subhasayagalu
Karelian - Rastawanke Sinun, Uvven Vuvenke Sinun
Kaqchiquel - Dios tik'ujie' avik'in
Kashmiri - Christmas Id Mubarak
Kawalib - Amirnar Krismas Gi
Khasi - Krismas basuk & Snem thymmai basuk
Kinyarwanda - Umunsi Mwiza
Kirundi - Noeli Nziza & Umwaka Mwiza
Kom - Isangle Krismen & Isangle beng i fue
Konkoni - Khushal borit Natalam
Korafe - Keremisi ewewa
Korean Sung Tan Chuk Ha
Kosraean - Tok Tapeng & Engan ya sasu
Koyukon - Denaahto' Hoolaank Dedzaanh Sodeelts'eeyh
Krio - Appi Krismes en Appi Niu Yaa
Kuanua - A Bona Lukara na Kinakava
Please send us your additions or corrections.
Kurdish - Seva piroz sahibe u sersala te piroz be
Kwangali - Kerekemisa zongwa & Erago moMumvho gomupe
Kyrghyz - JangI jIlIngIz guttuu bolsun!
Ladin - Bon Nadel y Bon Ann Nuef
Lakota - Wanikiya tonpi wowiyuskin & Omaka teca oiyokipi
Lamnsó - Kisheri ke Kisimen & Vijung ve kiya kefiyki
Lango - Afoyo Chamo Mwake & Apoyo Mwaka Manyeni
Play our Holiday Concentration Game, click here
Latin - Pax hominibus bonae voluntatis
Latvian - Prieci'gus Ziemsve'tkus un Laimi'gu Jauno Gadu!+
Lausitzian - Wjesole hody a strowe nowe leto
Lebanese - Milad Saeed wa Sanaa Mubarakah
Lithuanian - Linksmu Kaledu ir laimingu Nauju metu
Livonian - Jovi talshpivdi un Vondzist uto aigasto
Lower Tanana - Bet'oxdilt'ayi bedena' ch'exulanhde dranh ninoxudedhet

Lozi - Kilisimasi ya nyakalalo & Silimo se sinca sa tabo
Luganda - Amazalibwa Agesanyu & N'Omwaka Omujaa Ogwemirembe
Luhya - Isuguku Indahi & Nu Muhiga Musha
Luo - Sikuku Mar Higa Kod Mor & Mar Kiga Manyien

Luritja - Wai! Nyuntu Larya?
Luxembourgeois - Schéi Krëschtdeeg an e Schéint Néi Joer
Macedonian - Srekan Bozik I Nova Godina
Madura - Pada salamet sabhala bengko areja
Makassar - Salama' Natal & Selamat Tahun baru
Malagasy - Arahaba tratry ny Krismasy
Mambwe - Kristu aye namwe umu nsikunkulu ino iya Mwezi
Malayan - Selamat Hari Natal
Malayalam - Christumas Mangalangalangal & Puthuvalsara Aashamsakal
Maltese - Nixtieqlek Milied Tajjeb u Sena Tajba

Mandarin - Kung His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan
Mandobo - Mepiya Pagasaulog sa pagka-otawni Jesus aw maontong kaling Omay!
Mangyan - Mayad paq Pasko kag
Mansaka - Madyaw na Pasko aw malipayong Bag-ong Tuig kamayo, mga lumon
The World's Main Languages
Manx - Nollick ghennal as blein vie noa
Maori - Kia orana e kia manuia rava i teia Kiritimeti e te Mataiti Ou
Marathi - Shub Naya Varsh
Margi - Use aga Kirismassi
Marshallese - Monono ilo raaneoan Nejin & Jeramman ilo iio in ekaal
Mataco-Mataguayo - Lesilatyaj ihi Dios ta i ppule ye, Letamsek ihi wichi ta
Dios ikojejthi ta i honat e
Maya/Yucateco - Utzul mank'inal
Medlpa - Enim Mutuiyo!
Meithei - Krismas Hlomum & Kumthar Lawmum
Mingrelian - k'irses mugoxuamant & axal ts'anas mugoxuamant
Mongolian - Zul saryn bolon shine ony mend devshuulye
Monégasque - Festusu Natale e Bona ana noeva
Moro - Nidli pred naborete nano
Moru - Medu amiri ovuru Yesu opi amaro
Muyu - Lip Ki amun aa Natal Kowe
Naasioi - Tampara Kirisimaasi
Naskapi - miywaaitaakun mikusaanor & kiyaa maamiyupiyaakw minuwaach pipuun
Ndjem - Mbeya mbeya Ebiel & Mbeya mbeya mbu
Play our Holiday Concentration Game, click here
Ndogo - Esimano olyaKalunga gwokombandambanda! & Nombili kombanda yevi
maantu e ya hokwa!
Ndonga - Okrismesa iwa & Omude Mupe wa Punikwa
Nepali - krist Yesu Ko Shuva Janma Utsav Ko Upalaxhma Hardik Shuva & Naya
Barsa Ko harkik Shuvakamana
Newari - Nhu Da Ya Vintuna
Nii - Nim Ono
Niuean - Monuina a Aho Kilisimasi mo e Tau Foou
Norweigan/Nynorsk - Eg ynskjer hermed Dykk alle ein God Jul og Godt Nyttår
Norweigan/Bokmål - God Jul og Godt Nyttår
Notu/Ewage - Keremisi dave be

Nyanja - Kristu akhale ndi inu munyengo ino ya Christmas
Nyankore Mukhulukhe Omwaka
Occitan - Polit nadal e bona annada
Ojibwe (Chippewa) - Niibaa' anami'egiizhigad & Aabita Biboon
Oneida - Wanto'wan amp; Hoyan
Oriya - Sukhamaya christmass ebang khusibhara naba barsa
Orokaiva - Keremisi javotoho
Oromo - baga wagaa hara isinin gaye
Palauan - Ungil Kurismas
Pompangan - Malugud Pascu at saca Masayang Bayung Banua!
Pangasinan - Maabig ya pasko & Maliket ya balon taon
Papiamento - Bon Pasco i Feliz Aña Nobo
Pashto - De Christmas akhtar de bakhtawar au newai kal de mubarak sha.
Pennsylvania German - En frehlicher Grischtdaag unen hallich Nei Yaahr!
Pohnpeian - Peren en Krismas & Peren en Parakapw
Polish - Wesolych Swiat i Szczesliwego Nowego Roku.
Portuguese - Boas Festas e um feliz Ano Novo
Punjabi - Nave sal di mubaraka
Pashto - Christmas Aao Ne-way Kaal Mo Mobarak Sha
Q'anjob'al - chi woche swatx'ilal hak'ul yet yalji Komami'
Quechua - Sumaj kausay kachun Navidad ch'sisipi & Mosoi Watapi sumaj kausay
kachun
Quiche' - Dioa kkje' awuk'
Rapa-Nui - Mata-Ki-Te-Rangi & Te-Pito-O-Te-Henua
Rarotongan - Kia akakakaia te Atua i runga i te rangi Teitei,
e ei au to to teianei ao, e kia aroaia mai te tangata nei.
Rengma - Anu keghi Christmas nu amapi kethighi wa salam pi nthu chupenle

Rheto-Romance - Bella Festas daz Nadal ed in Ventiravel Onn Nov
Romani - Bachtalo krecunu Thaj Bachtalo Nevo Bers
Romanian - Craciun fericit si un An Nou fericit!
Rongmei - Mei kathui nata neila mei Khrisrmas akhatni gai mei tingkum
kathan tu-na arew we
Roviana - Mami tataru Kirisimasi koa gamu doduru meke qetu qetu vuaheni
vaqura ia

Russian - Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom Rozhdestva i s Novim Godom
Salar - YangI yilingiz gotlI bulsIn!
Send an animated Christmas eCard - click here !
Sambal - Maligayang Pasko at Masayang Ba-yon Taon!
Sámi - Buorit Juovllat ja Buorre Oddajahki
Saamia - Muwule Omwaka Enjaya
Samoan - Ia manuia le Kilisimasi ma le tausaga fou
Sango -Gloire na Nzapa na ndouzou aho kouè, Na siriri na ndo sessé na popo
ti ajo so amou nguia na Lo.
Santali - Raska nawa Serma
Saramaccan - Nuan wan suti jai o!
Sardinian - Bonu nadale e prosperu annu nou

Scots Gaelic - Nollaig chridheil agus Bliadhna mhath ur!
Secoya -Sihuanu'u Ejaerepa aide'ose'ere & Sihuana'u huaje ametecahue
Semandang - Selemat gawai Natal
Seneca - a:o'-e:sad yos-ha:-se:'
Serbian - Sretan Bozic. Vesela Nova Godine
Sicilian - Bon Natali e Prosperu Annu Novu !
Sinhala - Subha nath thalak Vewa. Subha Aluth Awrudhak Vewa
Slavey - Teyatie Gonezu
Soga - Mwisuka Sekukulu
Songe - Kutandika kua Yesu kuibuwa! & Kipua kipia kibuwa!

Sorani - Newroz le to Piroz be
Sorbian - Wjesole hody a strowe Nowe leto.
Somali - ciid wanaagsan iyo sanad cusub oo fiican.
Sotho/North - Mahlatsi a Matswalo a Morena le Ngwaga o Moswa
Sotho/South - Litakalerso Tse Monate Tsa Kere Semese Le Mahlohonolo a Selemo
Se Secha
Slovakian - Vesele Vianoce a stastny novy rok
Slovene - Vesele bozicne praznike in srecno novo leto
Sorbian - Wjesole hody a strowe Nowe leto
Spanish - Feliz Navidad y Próspero Año Nuevo
Click on any language Name for detailed information
Sranan - Wan switi kresneti nanga wan bun nyun yari!

Subanen - Piak Pasko Pu Piag Bago Tawn
Sudanese - Wilujeng Natal Sareng Warsa Enggal
Suena - Kerisimasi kokopai
Surigaonon - Malipayon na pasko sanan bag-on tuig!
Swahili - ºKrismas Njema Na Heri Za Mwaka Mpyaº
Swedish - God Jul och Gott Nytt År
Tagalog - Maligayang Pasko at Manigong Bagong Taon
Tahitian - Ia ora i te Noere e ia ora na i te matahiti 'api
Tagakaulu - Madyaw Pagsalog sa Pagka-otaw ni Jesus & Aw mauntong na bago
Umay!
Tala Andig - Maayad ha pasko daw bag-ong tuig
Tamazight - Asseggwas Ameggaz
Tarifit - Asuggas Asa'di
Tamil - Nathar Puthu Varuda Valthukkal
Tanaina - Natukda Nuuphaa

Tayal - Pqaquasta ta. Pquasta hentang na Jesu
Telugu - Christmas Shubhakaankshalu & Nootana Samvatchara Subhakanshalu
Thai - Suksan Wan Christmas lae Sawadee Pee Mai
Tlingit - Xristos Khuwdziti kax sh kaxtoolxetl
Tok Pisin - Meri Krismas & Hepi Nu Yia
Tokelau - Ke whakamanuia te Kirihimahi & Tauhaga Fou fiafia
Tonga - Kristo abe anduwe muciindo ca Christmas
Tongan - Kilisimasi Fiefia & Ta'u fo'ou monu ia
Toraja - Salama' Natal & Selama' taun baru
Trukese - Neekirissimas annim oo iyer seefe feyiyeech!
Send an animated Christmas eCard - click here !
Tshiluba - Diledibua dilenga dia Mfumu - Tshidimu tshipia - tshipia th
silenga
Tswana - Keresemose o monate le masego a ngwaga o montsha
Tubetube - Yayaliyaya Yesu sikabi kaiwena
Tumbuka - Kristu wabe namwe munyengo ya Christmas
Turkish - Noeliniz Ve Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun
Tutchone/Northern - Ut'ohudinch'i Hulin Dzenu & Eyum nan ek'an nenatth'at
danji te yesohuthin ch'e hadaatle sh'o
Ukrainian - Veseloho Vam Rizdva i Shchastlyvoho Novoho Roku!
Umbundu - Natale, Natale, Oyo O Natale & Eteke Lio Bowano, Illimo Ciwa

Urdu - Naya Saal Mubarak Ho
Uvean - Italo fa ide tau fou nei eseke
Uyghur - YanghI yiling ahlqIs bolgey!
Valencian - Bon Nadal i millor any nou
Vespi - Rastvoidenke i Udenke Vodenke
Vietnamese - Chuc Mung Giang Sinh - Chuc Mung Tan Nien
Votian - Yvaa rashtagoa! & Yvaa uutta vootta!
Waray-Waray - Maupay nga Pasko ngan Mainuswagon nga Bag-o nga Tuig!
Warlpiri - Miri Kirijimiji & Nyuntunpa Ngurrju nyayirni yapa


Welsh - Nadolig LLawen a Blwyddyn Newydd Dda
Yup'ik/Central - Alussistuaqegcikici
Yupik/Siberian - Quyanalghii Kuusma & Quyangalleq Nutaghamun Aymiqulleq
Xhosa - Siniqwenelela Ikrisimesi EmnandI Nonyaka Omtsha Ozele Iintsikelelo
Namathamsanqa
Yiddish - Gute Vaynakhtn un a Gut Nay Yor
Yoruba - E ku odun, e hu iye' dun!
Zarma - Barka da Issa hay-yan hann & Barka da djiri barey-yan
Zaza - Newroz'a tu Piroz be
Zia - Kerisimasi wosewa
Zime - El ma ka bar vra aso vei Lu & El ma ka kim na mireu
Zulu - Sinifesela Ukhisimusi Omuhle Nonyaka Omusha Onempumelelo

IceClimbingMonkey said...

What brands of chocolate did you buy?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, whatever! Omigosh, you're still gago. Get real man!

Anonymous said...

Sana magka-AIDS kang hayup ka!

Anonymous said...

Cofibean, cofibean, cofibean... you really never fails to amuse me. Still alive ha?

Anonymous said...

HOY PUKING-INA KA! ANO NAMAN NGAYON KUNG DOMESTIC HELPER ANG MGA MAGULANG NAMIN. BUTI PA SI PRECIOUS LARA HINDE KINAKAHIYA ANG ANG MGA NANNIES E IKAW. MUKHA KA NAMANG UNGGOY ANG YABANG MO NA. DATI KA PA SINUSUKA NG LIPUNAN. BOBO!

Anonymous said...

faq-u~!

Anonymous said...

What's ur problem ba dude?

Anonymous said...

Ang yabang mo gago!

Anonymous said...

Hilariously funny. Three thumbs up!

Anonymous said...

Blog ba naman ito? Parang satire lang. Obvious na hinde totoo. Magpakatotoo ka brother! Animal!

Anonymous said...

Mas masarap pang tumae kesa magbasa ng mga rants mo. Hay naku! Kung bakit ba naman kasi nag-aksaya pa ako ng oras dito e.

Anonymous said...

Sino ba talaga guys si cofibean?

Anonymous said...

UY OH! MAY PICTURE NA NAMAN SI COFIBEAN! LAGYAN NYO NA NG MATA PARA MAKILALA NA NATIN SYA AT IPAPATAY NA.

Anonymous said...

Ikaw din ba si Caffeinerush? I think I have your other address below:

http://www.blurty.com/~caffeinerush

Anonymous said...

Hey thanks for the inspiration ha pareh, I just borrowed your style from my next entry. Astig!

Anonymous said...

Oi EGGHEAD

like duh - i was jst wondering kase dba u bili2x smething from duty free and ordered a couple of things online sa polo.com eh howcome u dont post the fucking pictures if u really bought those stuffs already. Cofibean ur SO tanga-tanga tlga kase as usual post ka lng ng mga pix. na gling sa net eh dva i told u before khit cnong "moron" na like u makakakuha ng ganyan kuha sa net you are so BOBO tlga - IF U REALLY HAVE FUCKING BALLS POST YOUR OWN PICS. HA INCLUDE THE TIME STAMPS AS WELL PRA NMAN MAY MANIWALA NA SYO PURO KA DADA WLA KA NMANG SHOW NG MGA PINAGYAYABANG MO(KUNG MERON KA NGANG BALLS DEN LAY YOURS ARASO???PERO KUNG NKA-TALI YAN AT TINATAGO MO - BETTER GO TO THAI. PRA MA-REMEDYOHAN KA BAKLA OK?)

ANO KYA ITCHURA MO? FOR SURE MOST OF THE PEOPLE WHO READS YOUR POSTS ARE ALL GETTING CURIOUS BOUT YOUR LOOKS BAKLA...LADLAD KA NA KC....

guess the rumors about u is true ha - pero bilib ako sa source mo ha kase nkipag-eyeball ka raw -"boys and girls" - listen up
IT TURNS OUT TO BE U LOOK LIKE THE BF OF MADAME KILALA SYA BILANG MAY ASIM PA, IS THAT TRUE? HAHAHA

NO WONDER U DONT POST UR OWN PIC. EH KAKAHIYA TLGA ITCHURA MO KUNG GANON... UR LYK An UN-NYANGO... KALOKA...(walang himala!!!) diva


**wicked**

Anonymous said...

hahaha.... funny ka talaga..i mean its so nakakatuwa.... im laughing so hard that i can stab you with a knife that im holding.... your so called life is so pathetic. if whatever you say is true then it seems like your gene line is so panget and if you say that you are gwapo then panu yon??? Your adopted ba???? kawawa ka naman... AMPON!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
~~*****~~

jadie said...

hehehe you're good :P

Anonymous said...

no orcs in duty free? thats good to know. i myt as well live in duty free, at least no orcs to bother me. . . hahahaha
will be camping in duty free, till the next post. later

palamunin@yahoo.com

barney said...

i'm getting bored with ur posts lately... i like u better when ur full of angst and hatred towards the orcs.....

Anonymous said...

ur so kinda o.a na huh? ash in heller! are u sure ur kinda gwapo?grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Anonymous said...

Mr. Cofibean, whre do you hangout ba kasi? I would like naman diba to be your frend. So please do tell no? Like I'm so bored kasi. I want to kill someone kaya.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE YOU PARE!

Dianne said...

Cofibean, post mo na picture mo yung totoo. Nagsubside na naman galit ng mga orcs sayo. So I guest its ok na.

Anonymous said...

My gosh! Are you for real? Please tell me this is just a satire. Kasi masyadong mayabang ang pagkatae este pagkatao mo kung totoo ka nga.

Anonymous said...

Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!

Anonymous said...

HOY ARIEL! KIALLA KITANG BAKLA KA! KUNG HINDE MO ITITIGIL ITO, IPAPAPATAY KITA! TANGINA MO!

Anonymous said...

Shut the fuck up! All of these are crap! Even your followers are craps!

Anonymous said...

PAKYUSHET KA COFIBEAN! BAKIT MO HINDE INAAPPROVE ANG MGA COMMENTS KO? TANGINA KA! PAG NAKITA KITA KUKO MO LANG WALANG LATAY GAGO KA!

Anonymous said...

Bakit wala ng posts dito si Dave Grohl? Miss ko na ang Odyssey! Dapat dito sa blog na ito inispam! Para matigil na!

Anonymous said...

Hey guys, balik na sa work. Tama na petix. Wala kayong mapapala dito.

Anonymous said...

Cofibean, shit ka! Pinapabasa mo ang pekpek ko. Kaya ngayon ay magkakawkaw na naman ako. Shit ka! Shit ka!

Chona Mae said...

Hoy Matt! Hinahanap ka na ng kinuhanan mo ng alahas. Magbayad ka na daw. At yung isang kilong tusino na pinaorder mo, asan daw ang bayad? Tsaka yung pagkain mo kay taba, mahiya ka naman. Magbayad ka na! Tama na ang imahinasyon. Walang himala!

Pekpek said...

Pakyu ka sa EARTH!

Anonymous said...

u damn motherf****r,hope u die fool.what family business ur talking about?bitch!

Anonymous said...

hello chona,

ikaw ba talaga yan? ba't under construct pa rin ang sight mo? bumalik ka na chona... miss na miss na miss na miss na talaga kita...

-alponso

Anonymous said...

Chona,

Magtu-two years na! Babalik ka pa ba o hindi?! may gana ka pang magpost sa site ni walang hiyang matt na to... update mo na sight mo! pleeeeaaassssssseeeeeeeeeee....

Anonymous said...

yehey! down with the orcs! they're, like, so kadire noh!

Anonymous said...

pak..off...:|

Anonymous said...

Cofibean, bakit hinde k n naguupdate?

Anonymous said...

Funny. Hihihi.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Kopibin, kelan ho kayo magbabayad sa paluwagan natin? Hinde pa po kasi sumusweldo yung susweldo sana. Please lang po. Ang tagal ka na namin kuninulit.

Anonymous said...

Totoo ba ito? Bakit meron pa ring nakakalusot na spam kung moderated na itong blog na ito?

Anonymous said...

Siguro naman cofibean, magtatanda ka na sa sangdamukal na spam na kinomment namin dito no?

Anonymous said...

Isa kang mahaderang juding! Pakamatay ka na bobo!

Anonymous said...

Kaya pala masaya ako nung December 1. Wala ka pala sa Makati. }:P

Anonymous said...

TANGINA MO MATT! TANGINA KA! MATT MO MUKHA MO. IKAW SI ARIEL BOBO! KALA MO HINDI KA NAMIN MAKIKILALA HA!

Anonymous said...

Pakyushet ka!

Anonymous said...

Die you baboon!

White Knight said...

die orcs!!! especially those 7th.realm.com.ph freaks, not all but those jeepneys freaks, hahaha!!! loser!

Anonymous said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU should put this on a CD!! good idea for comedy sketch!! haahahahahhaha!! keep it up! :-)

Anonymous said...

Hope you get stuck with your relatives every day of the Holidays :)

Anonymous said...

cofibean!!!

grabe...i like your blog ha...
kasi naeentertain mo ako...
grabe superrrrr humahanga ako sayo!!!

grabe talaga!!!!
crush na kita!!! kaso sorry ha, mas gwapo pa sa'yo bf ko e...
uy, maawa ka anamn sa ninakawan mo ng pic!! haha..superrr pinasikat mo sya!!!

kasi naman..ipost mo nalang yung pic mo na sumusubo ka ng etits! yung to the max ang pag blow job mo!!! para mas ok db??

grabe...superrr humahanga ako sayo!!!! kasi naman no..ang galing galing mo gumawa ng kwento..galing ng imagination mo...hahaha!! isa kang henyo!!! galing ng mga IMBENTO mong stories!!! haha...FUCK YOU KANG BAKLA KA!! haha...sige, subukan mo wag ipost ito..ilalantad ko ang baho mong bading ka!! di kita tatantanan!
if i know kamukha mo sa Mike Enriquez!! kasya siguro ako sa ilong mo no?? hahahaha...

Anonymous said...

Pekpek ka! Mukha kang utot gago!

Anonymous said...

I love you cofibean!

Antonio Quibero said...

Mr. Cofibean, bakit yung ibang post na masama ang sinasabi sayo ay inaapprove mo?

Yung mga post ko, hanggang ngayon ay wala pa rin. :(

Kindly post it please. Idol pa naman kita.

Anonymous said...

Ang weird mo talaga kopibin! Minoderate mo nga, yung iba nakakalusot naman.
One more thing, MAG UPDATE KA NAMAN!

Anonymous said...

hahahhaa...nakakatawa ka cofibean..cguro kamukha mo yung mga kapamilya mong unggoy...hahahahha

Dave Grohl said...

Dave Grohl is still rehearsing with the band.

~*c*a*t*h*e*r*i*n*e*~ said...

hi just passin by...though your site was kinda sarcastic and full of shitty things it's still nice to read it once in a while. May comic relief din naman siya. oh let me tell you nalang na expressing how you feel is not wrong or bad at all specially it's your own blogspot but may I remind you your not the only creature linving here in these damn but astig world okai!! there are other people who could have been hurt with what you write. I don't speak for my self but for the people who give such nasty comments on your site. I'm just trying to be polite here mr. cofibean.
Have a great day ahead..^-^

Dave Grohl said...

The Message is
really nice!!!


If you're mad with someone , and nobody's there to fix the situation... You fix it . Maybe today, that person still wants to be your friend . And if u don't, tomorrow can be too late .


If you're in love with somebody , but that person doesn't know... tell her/him.
Maybe today, that person is also in love with you . And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be too late .


If you really want to kiss somebody... kiss her/him. Maybe that person wants a kiss from you, too . And if you don't kiss her/him today, tomorrow can be too late .


If you still love a person that you think has forgetten you... tell her/him.
Maybe that person has always loved you. And if you don't tell her/him today , tomorrow can be too late.


If you need a hug of a friend... ask her/him for it.
Maybe they need it more than you do. And if you don't ask for it today, tomorrow can be too late.


If you really have friends who you appreciate... tell them.
Maybe they appreciate you as well. That if you don't and they leave or go far away today , tomorrow can be too late.


If you love your parents, and never had the chance to show them... do it .
Maybe you have them there to show them how you feel. That if you don't and they leave today , then tomorrow can be too late.


SEND THIS MAIL TO EVERY PERSON YOU CARE ABOUT , Forward it today... coz tomorrow can be too late...

Mr. Schizophrenic said...

Sarcastic. Pang ABS-CBN sitcom ang mga stories. Pede ka mag-apply as a writer for that network.

Anonymous said...

lol, this sure made me laugh.

Anonymous said...

Mr. kopibin, bakit po hinde nyo pinopost ang ibang comments? I've been posting comments here like a dozen times na po pero hanggang ngayon ay wala pa rin. Hope ang isang ito ay iapprove nyo. Salamat po.

Mr. Schizophrenic said...

After reading a few more posts from this blog. I've to the conclusion that this blog is actually boring. Sorry. Kasi para sa akin, indi kasi totoo mga sinasabi ni Mr. Kopibin eh.

Kumbaga sa dating sitcom sa dos na Abangan Ang Susunod Na Kabanata, si Mr. Kopibin si Tessie Tomas. At gaya rin ng ibang sitcoms, nakakasawa rin ang blog na ito.

Babush!

Anonymous said...

Hindot ka!

lonely boy said...

this blog has had it's fifteen minutes of fame. it's fizzled out. pati yung comment board na binabalik-balikan ko dito eh boring na rin. now, i'm so lonely.

Anonymous said...

Runnign out of things to write eh?

This blog is going to the dogs

M.A.P.S. said...

Hope there will be an update soon.
Hows Ysabelle?

Anonymous said...

ur mean tlga...haha

Anonymous said...

*yawn*
...........booooring.........

Avid Reader said...

Mr. Cofibean, please make an update. Boring na dahil wala na akong bagong mabasa. Please po. UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE!

Anonymous said...

wala ka na bang pambayad sa mga internet cafe dyan ?Hinayupak na bakla.Kaya di ka na namin nakita. Missed ka na daw sa mga aliporis mong bobong katulad mo

Arthur/Nurikane said...

Finally, your getting progressive. I'm glad you wrote your laments to panic buying than lambasting people whom you call Orcs.

I'll give you a kudos because you've discussed a different subject this time and I hope magtuluy-tuloy na yan.

michi said...

hay this blog so boring ha. so sarcastic yet so funny. hehe. your blog is so bad, you made me laugh. XD

Anonymous said...

har-har-har! yun lang! galing mo manlait!

Anonymous said...

hahahahahaha!!! i could believe it! its true! hahahahaha!!! so kaka!!

Anonymous said...

"I should have dropped the family of monkeys at SM Sucat and will just fetch them like after a week na lang sana."


Nye he he he.... galing talaga ng gramar mo.... a dog fetch, you fetch water.... but you don't fetch people hak hak hak..... d correct term should be "pick 'em up after a week..." bonakels hak hak hak or "be back to give em a ride back after a week..." or "drive 'em back home after a week..." ur so engot talaga... baddaff...

Anonymous said...

"He have no choice but to let me run na the business dahil dami opportunists natives na always waiting for a chance to make kupit sa cash flow namin."

gramar mo tsongo.... he has at hindi he have no choice noh??? Tapos writer tawag mo sa self mo nye he he he...

~*c*a*t*h*e*r*i*n*e*~ said...

hey mr.cofibean bkit la ka pang new entry? hope you update your blog po. It's nice reading it. Sana lang next time bawasan ng konti ung panlalait. Well I respect you, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Di namn finoforce ang tao na sangayunan to diba.
Sana you can update na po.
Thanks=p

Anonymous said...

You must be very shallow to think that AIDS carriers are filthy.

m.a.p.s. said...

Waaaaaaaa! It's been more than a week and theres still no update. I dont mean to be pushy , but i hope there would be an upadate soon. Season's Greetings everyone!

pobreng nilalang said...

magandang hapon po sa inyo...
pasensya na sa pang-iistorbo, nabasa ko lang po ang inyong mga naisulat...
at base po sa aking mga nabated, tila kayo po ay mayaman at walang problema sa pera...
pwede po ba akong makahingi ng konteng pera, kahet bente mil lang po?

Anonymous said...

"Tapos my mom told me na it's been taken cared of na raw by Ibyang."

--taken CARE of dude, taken CARE!
BHUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA, like you're so BOBO!!!

Other said...

k2long mu b c chona?
o ikaw ang juwa nya?

hihihi...

-_-
next blog please...

Anonymous said...

man...cant you change your dead style..ya biatch

Anonymous said...

you stupid fag!!! --this blog style or your writing style sucks big time..its worn thin--as in BBBOOORING!!!! and you dont want people to know..this is all bullshit like you!!!

Anonymous said...

baduy..corny

Anonymous said...

isa kang malaking MORON!!!!

Beckay said...

Hey there!
is this a fiction??? LOL....
well isa lang ang masasabi ko... ito ay hindi pawang mga katotohanan.. this is just an illusion of what u really want in ur life... owning a business company, being rich.. and everything.. i have nothing against u its because i dont know u.. but i guess u should be better shut your mouth off and stop saying STUPID... your blog at first seemed easy and jolly to read.. but this is going nowhere.. this blog is redundant and you call yourself a writer?? LOL.... i guess you were nothing when you were a college student.. I beg to disagree to someone that left a comment that you could put this blog in ABS-CBN, but i guess that guy is wrong... because this blog deserves no appreciation nor recognition since he called everyone an orc and stupid.. One more thing, you dont feed your mom or others like Ibyang and Mang Tonyo to call them Stupid or "MABAHO".. Assuming that you are really rich, they worked for the money they get from you.. and that's what you called salary if u dont know... And i think your opinion about people going to nice coffee shops, though their salary is little; well i guess that shows that u are a nobody... u dont know anything...


PS...
by the way whats the nature of your business?? Monkey business??


Disclaimer:
If u are not going to post my comment...
I'll just put a copy of it in my blog...

Anonymous said...

you better post the last 3 things i put ya whore!!!its makes as much sense as this BS your putting

Anonymous said...

whats wrong being a domestic helper? atleast they're workin their ass off to make money for their family. u cnt really judge people like that. there job is descent enough to be respected not be judge by some dumbass hu doesnt know what "RESPECT" is.