Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Bad Vibes.

Just got home from a workout at Hotel Intercon. And puta pare the guy who's been working out there kanina. Uber baho talaga the body odor. The hell! I was like muntik ng mag-faint because of the stench oozing from his underarm. As in kadiri talaga the aroma sa gym kanina. Tapos the old lady doing some stretching at his side was like patay na no. She's not moving na kasi when I checked her out. So yun na nga diba? I asked na lang for a gas mask pero they gave me none. The fuck talaga. Eh I can't stand talaga the smell kaya I told na lang the gym instructor to make paalis na lang the baho guy kasi he's like pampasira ng workout eh. The instructor told me lang na make tiis na lang the amoy kasi the guy is a member din daw! I said, "What the fuck?! You mean to say na even if I drop dead because of the baho smell, it's ok pa rin?". Bobo talaga that instructor. Eh I'm like a premium member kaya. Nonsense talaga talking to minimum wage earner katutubos. Damn! So I approached na lang the guy and told him, "Excuse me, are you the guy with the baho smell? I think you need na to make paligo kasi I can smell you from over there oh. And believe me, it's really so baho." Yeah, in his face pare I told him that. Eh he's like 5'4" lang kaya. I can just make batok lang on his forehead if he said something back at that moment. Buti na lang he just blushed and went straight into the shower room. That was the first time I saw a red-faced palaka. Yeah pare, kadiri na the smell, palaka pa his built. I mean, what's with the bulging muscles if you're only 5'4" no. Even after he left, the after smell was still there. As in yuckie talaga all the equipments he used. So yun na nga diba? I lost na my momentum so I told my bobo instructor to stop na the program. I called na Mang Tonyo to get my things and wait for my call again dahil I'll buy lang something sa Glorietta.

At the glorietta, my aura got sira na naman. Why naman kasi of all places, some filthy orcs decided pa to hang out there. I mean, puno ba all the public markets that they decided to hang out at Glorietta? And what's with the slang accent ba? All their skin naman is balat mahirap no.



So yun na nga diba? I lost na my gana sa workout tapos I lost pa ulit my interest sa pagbili ng vanity stuff sa Essences, Rustans. So I had my feet pampered na lang at Beauty Bar and then called na the stupid Mang Tonyo to pick me up right at the lobby.

In short my day was like bad vibes talaga pare.

52 comments:

Anonymous said...

ayan! mejo nagpipick-up na ulit ung posts mo. you're posts are so much funnier when they're all about what happened to your day eh.

wag mo na mashado pa2lan ung mga tangang affected orcs na nagcocomment dto. wala na tayo magagawa pagpinanganak na tanga. that's why i rly enhoy your blog when you were still in college, kc it was all about your days in school or starbs eh. mas funny!

dont let those bobo and hopeless orcs affect your posts pare!!

Anonymous said...

i just watched ROTK on HBO last night. grabe! rly reminded me of how tanga the orcs who are bashing you cofibean! i bet muka dn tlaga clang mordor orcs!

ANG TATANGA!!!!!

M.A.P.S. said...

Go Mr. Cofi! I really liked this one! Its so grabeh the bad vibes you got. Hope lahat is going to be ok naman in the future.

And dont worry about those bobo orcs, it's just that the world wouldn’t be whole without them.

Peace!

Anonymous said...

Grabeh! Kaawanaman you for smelling the baho orc. Is he also a callcenter? Kasi you seem to know if a person is a callcenter or not. You have a csr-dar ba? Shet! How mutant naman pala of you. Gosh!

Anonymous said...

This one is funny cofibean. Make more of this one. Stop na the nonsense bashing sa mga walang magawang callcenter agents. Wala naman silang laban sayo maliban lang dito sa comment box na moderated mo pa! HAhaha!

Anonymous said...

Hey I also wanna make one just like this one. Mga bakla namang tulad mo ang aawayin ko.

}:D

Evet said...

Hahahaha! Pati ba naman nagwowork out sa gym inaway mo na? Lahat ba sa mundo galit mo cofibean? Ay mali! Anjan nga pala si Isabel na love mo. Btw, san na nga pala sya? Bakit wala na akong balita?

Subo said...

Bading ba ito? --->

dyosa said...
FREE SEX!! CALL OR TEXT ME : 09162919200

Chard said...

Yoko ngbading kasi. Horny ako ngayon. For any sexy ladies na horny din 23-26 years old. Post nyo number nyo. Meet tayo. 27/m here. 5'11, mestisuhin at gwapo. Richard Guittierez look-a-like daw.

Post your number now! Meet tayo sa Makati Ave.

Pakiss nga Pare said...

Meron ng para sa mga bakla. Go to this address:

http://ihatequeers.blogspot.com

Tata darlings!

Anonymous said...

Ano address ng dating blog ni Cofibean? Kindly post it please.

Anonymous said...

This blog can never be real. Nobody is soooo mean like that. Very unreal. Halatang made up character.

Ang lakas naman kasi ngloob nya kung ganun sya kaprangka. Pag ako sinabihan ng ganun baka sapakin ko kahit na mas malaki saken.

Anonymous said...

This must be satyre! (Or is it satire?) Hihihi........

LOTR said...

Bakit hinde na nagpopost dito si Dave Grohl? Baka kasi sawa na din syang maging Dave Grohl at Cofibean at once. Hahaha!

Schitzo! Smiggles is that you? Oh my god!

Anonymous said...

LOSER! >:P

Anonymous said...

BEAUTY BAR? DIBA PANG BABAE LANG YUNG BOUTIQUE NA YUN? ANDPANONG IPAMPER ANG PAA E WALA NAMANG SALON DOON. HALLER. BAKA NAMAN MAY DALA KANG KIKAY KIT TAPOS DOON KAYO NAGMANICURAN NI MANG TONYO?

Anonymous said...

Bading si Dyosa. Wag nyong itext. Magsasayang lang kayo. Obvious naman na iniipit ang boses pag tinawagan nyo. Tapos i wa one way pa kayo.

Mamatay na lahat ng bading!

Anonymous said...

Don't tell me ikaw na naman ang kumuha nyang picture na yan. Dito mo lang kinuha yan e:

http://www.beautybar.com.ph

Anonymous said...

Horny cute guy now. Meet tayo sa Makati Ave, at my place. Please post your number. Bawala po chixsilog (Chicks na may itlog.) BABAE LANG PO.

Anonymous said...

Totoong tao ba si cofibean?

Anonymous said...

Sa nagcomment nito:

Anonymous said...
Don't tell me ikaw na naman ang kumuha nyang picture na yan. Dito mo lang kinuha yan e:

http://www.beautybar.com.ph


Naclick mo na ba ang picture? Diba nakalink nga sa site ng beautybar. Ay ang tanga talaga ng mga taga callcenter. Obvious naman na nagmamarunong. Wakekekeke!

Cofibean, balik mo na lang yung dating title nitong blog mo. Yung Callcenters are for losers. Mas may dating yun.

Anonymous said...

Bading si Dyosa. Wag nyong itext. Magsasayang lang kayo. Obvious naman na iniipit ang boses pag tinawagan nyo. Tapos i wa one way pa kayo.

Mamatay na lahat ng bading!

Anonymous said...

Ay... wag naman... ayokong mamatay din si Cofibean... wala na tayong laughing stuff kung ganun... mas nkakalungkot yun dba???

NEVERLAND said...

this one's funny

pero sana kinunan mo yung "BAHO GUY" para naman mas makatotohanan yang sinasabi mo!!!!(pero there's something wrong!! di ba KATUTUBOS will fight back when they are oppressed?? bakit parang nakalimutan mong idagdag sa story mo??? ONLY RICH PEOPLE don't want to get their hands dirty cos they are cowards and wimpy. I'm sure if ur story's real, u should have a acquired a black eye by now

Again, kudos for having IMAGINATIVE MIND!!! U know how to make funny stories out of fantasy world!!!!!!

Orc said...

Nail Salon at Beauty Bar Glorietta 2, Ayala Center

Ground Floor, Glorietta 2, Ayala Center, Makati City
Tel. 810 . 0525 / 810 . 0684

oh yan! call that spa to verify their address ha..you're making sira cofibean's aura ha! lols!

Anonymous said...

Pure brilliance indeed! Galing ng nakaisip ng blog na ito!

Anonymous said...

Bakit wala pa yuing ibang postings ko?

rel said...

cofibean, you make add me kaya to your friendster pls. andun ka pa ba rin?

i work in a call center. grabeh, sobra dami fans mo dito! ayos ka! galeng mo talaga.

/me wonders what kind of person you really are.

keep posting! check ako sayo everyday na e. :)

--> rel <--

Anonymous said...

yo cofibean, my iq just dropped 300 points from reading your posts! i like it!

go male bimbo go!

miffed said...

*reads previous comments from previous posts* holy crap. i never knew there were so many idiots here, who wouldn't know comedy gold if it hit them in the face.

i'm miffed. they think you're fuckin serious? *sigh*

it's SATIRE, you bahong masas!

Anonymous said...

shut the fuck up miffed.

Anonymous said...

you make me laugh!!!

keep this up!

Kim07 said...

hey cofibean im a call center peep here in cebu.. i enjoy ur blog...its funny!! i dont care if u bash call center peeps, its like im not affected kaya!! my hubby is like haciendero kaya, so its like i dont mind what ur writing here,coz anyway CALL CENTER PEEPS are not as poor or as mabaho as u say we are! give me ur private email ill email u my full name , my address u can check out kaya if what im saying is true about not all peeps in the call center are poor nor mabaho.. oh btw i gave ur url to our AM's and theyre like "whoa, i'd like to kill this guy!" and im like " u dont have to, someone eventually will!!" and theyre like, " can we start killing him?" and im like "uhmmm sirs, its not worth it..let others do it for u.." so theyre laying off (whew!!) i shouldnt have given the url to them ...

Anonymous said...

ur so yabang!

Mars said...

waihihi!! NICE man!! keep it up!! love your char!! wakokoko!!

dai you Orcs dai dai DAI!!!
wakokoko!!

m.a.p.s. said...

Where are Xumai ,Dave Grohl, kaye and the others?

Hope an update will come soon.

Pekpek said...

How come some of my posting are being rejected? Dapat kasi inaalis na ang moderation sa blog na ito para mas masaya!

Anonymous said...

BAKIT NABAWASAN NA NAMAN ANG COMMENTS DITO COFIBEAN? NAGDELETE KA NA NAMAN BA?

Anonymous said...

My Gawd. You're so inconsiderate Mr. Cofibean. You deserve death!

Anonymous said...

Fuck you asshole!

Anonymous said...

Hay naku.. dati araw-araw ko chine-check tong blog na to.. e ngaun mukhang sobrang made-up n un mga stories.. meron pa nga ako nabasa tungkol dun sa mga pinost na pics ni cofibean.. pinakita niya lahat ng points na mga binago ni cofibean dun sa picture pra mgmukhang kakaiba ang mga pics..

pro in fairness mgaling tong c cofibean..
moderated n nga ang comments e..
hehehe..

http://cofibean1.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Pare u rule... i'm like you but i don't have time to post what's on my mind... hahaha wag ka lang sana mag yabang a bit no! coz u know u might like get karma or stuff and you might get like bankrupt or something pare... and you might be the one asking for peanuts from ME nih in the future pare.. hope to do business with you no so we could together make lait the gov't and the smelly katutubos in our country

J.L. said...

DO YOU TAKE DRUGS? KASI DUD BASAG KA YATA NUNG SINULAT MO TO

Anonymous said...

i hope these "orcs" speak better than you! good God! please tell me that they really do speak better than this person! hahahahah.. :D

Anonymous said...

mmm.. your character would have been more believable had u checked your grammar before posting. the conio language is pretty inconsistent as well.

your blog.. it's so nakakabobo.. lol.. i would have enjoyed reading it more had u used straight english ( or perhaps straight Filipino even ).

ChrizCrozz said...

Astig ng blog mo... nakakarelate kaming mga mababahong orcs. Sa bawat post mo isinisiwalat mo yung baho naming mga katutubo na nag papakahirap kumita ng mumunting salapi. Sana wag kang kunin ni Lord kasi na aaliw ako kumpaano mo binibigyan ng buhay ang karakter ni cofibean. isa kang magaling na akda. Nagagawa mo rin na ang bawat tao, mayaman man, o nagpapanggap na mayaman, o mahihirap na sumasagot sa iyong blog ay nahihingan mo ng opinion at nailalabas nila ang kanilang mga opinyon. Hindi madali ang sumulat ng mga bagay na tulad ng mga sinusulat mo. pano mo nagagawa ang mga ito? pano mo naisusulat ang naaaninag mo sa salamin? ikaw ba yung orc na ngangagarap? Hindi sa pinagtatawanan kita pero, nakakaaliw yung sinusulat mo. hindi ko alam kung maaawa ako o maiinis sa karakter na pinipilit mong buhayin ... pero mas pinili kong kaawaan ang karakter mong si cofibean dahil hindi siya marunong tumingin sa halaga ng buhay ng tao. mabahong orcs man at tatangatanga, may puso pa rin. aabangan ko ang bawat yugto ng iyong buhay. madami akong nakukuhang aral. nasasabi ko tuloy sa sarili ko "hay, salamat at masaya ako kung ano ako ngayon, isang mabahong orc na nabubuhay ng masaya".

Anonymous said...

Ei mali pala ang paggamit ng "equipments". Parang information, you dont say "informations", instead you say: "pieces of information", or somethin like that.

fafarrahzzi said...

hey, you go to red corner? me, too. wala lang. which instructor were you referring to? the uber bloated one who looks like he takes steroids for breakfast? anyway, it's just funny that i might have seen you before at the gym.

lastly, lemme just say.. you're damn funny.

tikoy_lover said...

laugh trip ka, man!

hehe. ngayon ko lang nabasa e...

Anonymous said...

im so in to you cofibean...feeling ko inlove nako sau....

Anonymous said...

u suck dude.. honestly ur full of shit.. tangina u got no life pare always spending ur time in d internet posting ur diary? ur gay pare... tangina mag sama kayo ng mga kinaiinisan mong mga hampas lupa coz ur not different from them.. UR ONE FUCKING POSER... why dont u show ur real pic kaya so we'd know who u really are.. haha... u can't accept d fact dat ur juz a poser making ur own story out of dust making us all look like fools.. guess what.. u suck! i can beat u down anytime.. juz give me d time and place and il be there... ibabaon ko muka mo sa lupa!

Anonymous said...

its so kaka talaga, the palaka gym member is so baho, kaya i told him to make go sa shower, cause i can't take the baho anymore, anywayze, i followed him to the shower and its so kaka pa rin so kakabaho pa rin, so i can't take it anymore, i plan to make sampal na lang pero i saw his big talongenshi so i just make touchie touchie na lang and subie subie na lang. after that i called my stupid driver but i am still horny so i make hada my driver. kakainis talaga. what a day!