The Drowning Katutubo Economy

Tangina pare. It has been quite some time since the last time I made kwento here at my blog. Been busy kasi energizing my aura due to some tanginang moments that happened. I will not share na lang para wala ng katutubos to comment pa on them. The hell no!

Ok here's the deal pare, just got back here sa pinas from an uber long vacation at my aunt. Bad trip kasi my mom for messing my life with that pasosyal na girl eh. Its obvious naman na I dont like her no. Shit talaga. She was too clingy pare. Good thing I made takas before they ruined my life completely. Yeah.. THEY pare! It was really a conspiracy theory. I really don't know na nga who's on my side na. I think they are all ganging up on me. I was like muntik ng maging criminal pa because of that bitch. Since the kwento is so haba pare, I'll just cut it short na lang. I made sakal the clingy bitch because I couldn't stand her feeling my wife na agad attitude. So kapal dude diba?

Anyways, I wasn't able to vote pare. Pero its ok lang. I think all the candidates that ran for some pwestos are all trapos naman eh. I mean, come on dude?! I think you katutubos already learned from your past. Ok, its given na that some of you primitivos are stupid. Pero don't tell me dude that you gained another quality from the recent election? Memory gap... Confabulating much? Sheesh! Pathetic natives!

Ok, I'll just try to remind you lang ha. Below are some politicians who ran in the recently held election.

Manny Villar: C5 at Tyaga.
Erap Estrada: Edsa 3, Anyone care to place their bet at the jueteng currently being played at the boracay mansion? As in now na!
Noynoy Aquino: Mama, Papa and Sis of the Hacienda Luisita. Not to mention the highest rated candidate of Pulse Asia of which by the way is owned by HIS relatives: Rafael Cojuangco Lopa, Antonio Cojuangco, etc. Obviously, he ran on nothing but the memory of his parents.
Lito Lapid: Leon Guerero anyone? Or is it Guerrero? O come on pare, lets not QUARRY este quarrel about this.
Ralph Recto: The author and defender of the EVAT LAW. Need I say more?
Ferdinand Marcos Jr.: Martial Law and Edsa 1.
Bong Revilla: Before doing the lame ochocho, care for some Kap's Amazing Photos? Click here. And here pa.

Shit pare, dito na my stoopid driver.. I'll try to write some more na lang later.

February Update

Ok pare, remember the girl I made kwento last time? Well for some effin reason I cant seem to shed her out of my life. She's like glued na to me pare. I know Im hot and all pero pare this is something different, shes acting like im her property na no! What the hell! Nobody owns me pare! Pero don't get me wrong ha. Im not bakla pero I dont have any feelings talaga towards her eh. But thanks to my pakialamera mom, I think Im stuck na with Cheska. I mean I'd still choose my ex lesbo girlfriend Ysabelle if only shes still single and not married to that gay Bobby dude.

Just like what happened last week after the wedding of my cousin. Some guy friends invited me over to have coffee at starbs Harbor Square. And since I'm with my gf, no choice pare but to tag her along at starbs or else Hilariously Stoopid will make sumbong na naman to my stupid mom na Im not being nice to Cheska. I made iwan kasi her the last time we watched movie at ATC because she really made me pikon.

Eh puta pare, she's like mas malala pa kay Claude when it comes to being maarte and all. Here's the scenario pare: since im still not allowed to drive my car, Hilarously Stoopid drove us to Square Harbor to meet up with my friends there. We never bothered changing getups pa pare. Since we all look cool naman sporting our fine barongs. But since im with Cheska, I have an extra baggage with me. I have to be extra nice to her or else my mom would cut my LAST card. Shit talaga pare! Its like conspiracy theory talaga. Im feeling like Mel Gibson na trying to make isip on how to free myself from the unwanted setup. So yun na nga diba, after Hilarously Stoopid parked the car, Cheska refused to get down from the car. It was raining a bit kasi pare. Pero it was like a bit lang talaga. Pero the fucking Cheska doesnt want to get out of the car because she was afraid daw that her Manolo Blahnik might get ruined by the water. Tangina talaga pare! Eh I was like salivating pa naman for a cup-of-chino that time. So I was like really muntik ng i-tie around her neck the shole she's wearing. Buti na lang I saw a group of wet baho natives seeking shelter from the rain along the restos near the parking area. So thats more than enough reason for me to also backout from the caffeine convention and head back inside the car. Hirap na pare. Who knows if those natives are infected with some kind of airborne disease diba? Good thing we are like 10 meters away from them. Funny nga how those orcs got basa eh. Siguro it was divine intervention na for them to make ligo no. They all look so baho na kasi eh.

Thats all muna for now pare. I'll just make lipat lang my files to the external drive I bought kanina. ciao dudes and dudettes.

Its 2009 na!

Im back to my blogging pare. It has been quite a while since the last time I wrote something here. Putangina naman kasi all the moronic people around me. They are like pampasira ng aura. My perfect tune with nature always gets disturbed na lang. Its hard to get peace na talaga nowadays. Man, if I weren't so at peace with the world, i'd run them over with my new car. Good thing I have a girlfriend now pare. But she's just the up-to-sawa type. Meaning shes my gf until the time im sawa na.

My mom kasi always makes pakialam to my diskarte pare. She and her amiga are the ones who arranged the relationship. So I made sakay na lang their trip. My girlfriend now kasi looks good pero shes really annoying. She like wants me to text her always my gig. Can you believe that? Its making me sakal na. Labo talaga nya. It really fucking gets me everytime dude. Sometimes nga I made Hilariously Stoopid reply to her text messages na lang. Funny thing, I dont even care pare what they are texting ha. Hilariously Stoopid even asked me before, "Sir maganda ba itong textmate ko?" I just said, "Yeah. and please dont forget to send her love quotes ha." Hahaha!

Anyways, enough for the sharing pare. I just turned a year older. And shit man, now lang Ive noticed na I'm getting hotter and hotter pala. That explains why people are always making papansin when im at chichi places. But even given the location pare, the orc infestation are like spreading na. So Im attracting even the unwanted baho masa. The hell!

I guess thats it na muna dude. Need to finish something lang.

It's About Time Pare

Shit! Can't help talaga but smile for the past few months on whats happening to the Pinas pare. The quasi-shortage of rice, the neverending gas price increase, the transfer of the controversial ZTE star witness as head of SSS, the supposedly billions of pesos katutubo/masa funds and the unstoppable growth of the orc community (May gathering ba pare?). Im waiting na nga lang for a "For Sale" sign that they will make sabit sa Malacañang. Hopefully pare, U.S. will jump at the opportunity of buying it to save the natives from further bouts of katangahan. It's pretty obvious naman kasi pare na the crisis are all made up stories lang to hide something diba? And I'm not going to elaborate more pa pare. Its about time for you to use naman your noggins. Sayang kasi ur small na, pea-sized brain pa inside if unutilized. Baka kasi mabulok pa.


So ayon na nga diba... The only good thing I'm seeing from all these is the fact that all the burdens are shouldered by the baho natives. They are starting to feel the stress na of leaving this country to work as slaves of other bansas. Typical pare. Katutubos are synonymous to muchahos, muchachas, Dh, orcs and contruction workers. My tito told me that there are lots of opening abroad for those jobs. So that would mean, it'll save pinas a couple of hundred thousands of natives to feed. Meaning, bawas the quasi-rice shortage. Hehe. By the way, hope the price of gaso would reach 100 bucks per liter para bawas na rin the traffic. So dami kasing obsolete cars sa kalsada that needs pahinga na.

Also, some fucktards hijacked my friendster and yahoo account before. Hope you guys drop dead na no. You know who you are. Thats really not cool pare. Hope you all make pakamatay na. Good thing I have a paid yahoo account so they changed my password immediately.

Anyway, I'll like go na muna. I'm going to buy something lang at Rockwell for my date later. No press releases na muna for now pare. I'll share next time na lang.

It's vacation time na dude.

Ok pare, its official, I need to beach in with the guys way down under pinas. Kasi after all the scheck that happened, I really need some serious cleansing of my aura. Tapos sumabay pa the incident yesterday where Hilariously Stoopid went head on (again!!!) with my car onto a poste. Good thing my auto dentist was really good talaga to undo the damage. Or else, I swear talaga up to the old native's last hininga that I'll charge him for the damage. Of all the empty carparks along Greenbelt, why pa park B.F.E. (Beyond Fucking Egypt)! Why naman kasi up to now, wala pa roll call for the missing cast of Dead People 3 para matawag na my old katutubo driver no. Im sick and tired na rin kasi of him slowing me down pare. I think Im aging na nga eh. Pano na lang if theres no obagi?

So yun na nga diba. I was in Serendra pala kanina with Claude and Andrew, and puta pare, it was really crawling with unwanteds. God, kadire talaga the orcs. Hope they all transfer na to another bansa. Because they are seriously devaluating the chic value of the place. Fuck!

Well, i guess that's it muna for now, I need to call pa some chicks to invite for next week.