Sunday, November 20, 2005

Vote for me pare.

Fuck pare, I was really uber busy for the past few days attending to the family business. Also, daming nag-apply for the secretarial position. So, our office was crowded yesterday by some baho masa girls, all hoping for the position. I told kasi HR to call everyone who emailed me their resume and have them interviewed agad kasi I can't take the smell of masa in my office eh. Tapos all of them are drooling pa because of my good looks. Kadiri talaga the scenery yesterday. Good thing all of them are like bobo kaya so nobody got the position. Probably I'll just post na lang my job vacancy sa lobby ng ateneo, lasalle or UA&P para talino all the applicants. Para most of them are cute colegialas pa. Shit pare, I just can't wait na for the next batch of applicants. Probably, I'll interview them personally for them to get a chance to see how gorgeous I am upclose. Damn! Hirap talaga goodlooking pare. I just can't contain myself. My sex appeal is like oozing kaya.

Also, I did some adjustments sa pricing of some of our products kanina for immediate implementation. Fuck kasi the government we have here sa Pinas eh. It's soo bulok and fucking corrupt. I really can't stand it when the goverment pa is the one making pahirap to all the masa, eh the masa are all mahirap na kaya. Double murder pare the burden talaga to those katutubos. The government is squeezing na nga all the money from the people, tapos will add pa some additional levy sa mga businesses like ours. The hell with them no! Goverment officials talaga never fails to mess with my aura. So inside my head, whenever I see big billboards of those politicians sa streets, I made sabi na lang na, "Style nyo bulok you fucking peso-sucking vampires! Eh the money kaya didn't came from you tapos you will get pa all the glory as if naman you personally paid for it! Its your job kaya! Our company is losing millions because of you leeches! Damn! Go to hell all of you no!"

See pare, I'm like sensitive din no. I know how to see the pahirap our goverment is doing to all the bahong masa. I made tawa pa nga when I saw the commercial on tv na VAT will never affect daw the fresh produce and meat sa market. Wala na talaga ako ma say! Eh it's like transferrable kaya ang VAT. Gasoline is covered by VAT, it's what most of us businessmen use to transport our products. So definitely, instead of making solo na lang all the burdens, we might as well transfer it na lang to the bobong public. Shit talaga!

So yun na nga diba? It's like I'm running for mayor na. I know what I just made sulat was really something pare. Just like my idea of bulldozing all the squatters area and developing it into some kind of architectural marvel and have the bahong masa work for it as janitors, alalays and tagapunas on it. That way, bawas na all the eye sores on most of the major highways. Kadiri kasi the atmosphere eh.

Also sa mga kulit na orcs who have been posting some filthy comments and long unrelated novel, please lang no, just drop dead na lang or have yourselves get bitten by dogs sa mata para luwa na your eyes, that way you'll never find my site na sa net. Wala naman kasi kayong say for me eh. As what I said before, go make your own blog and make kausap na lang your bobo self there no. Tapos have fun commenting na din on yourself para maging happy na you. Kadiri kasi talaga your mentality eh.

Siguro tama na muna that for now. My aura kasi got depleted na kasi.

105 comments:

Anonymous said...

hhhmmm is that you cofibean? cge na nga i'll give it to you that you are socially aware and kinda care about those baho masa ... :D well since you're UP there, siguro it would be nice if you can make a difference regarding this issue.

Anonymous said...

Your aura got depleted...?

So your right hand hurts already? XP

peachy said...

I hate to say this but you definitely RIGHT!!!! government is really bulok talaga because of too much democracy...

nga pala, do you know what happened to an actress IYA, policeman says that she is rude or something. I think the policemen were mad kasi baka nde nabigyan ng datung ang mga police o nde man lang pinakain... mga tao sa posisyon talaga nga naman

Anonymous said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahhaha! You're really one funny piece of shit! Keep this blog running.

Anonymous said...

just wondering where the hell did you go for college??

mayunes said...

wow.. appeal para sa masa pare

astig!

Masa Pips said...

Nakupo! Kung ikaw ang magiging opisyal ng gobyerno.. I must say, we're really screwed na talaga! Hahahahahhaa!

contented said...

kala ko wala mag cocoment. excited pa naman ako to see na no comment yung blog ni cofibean... kahit for a day lng. :)

Anonymous said...

woahhh!!! it's a miracle!
nag ka ka sense na yung blog ni cofibean! at parang todo talaga sa research si cofibean for this blog...in fairness.

Anonymous said...

Keep this crap going pare,,,,,,you're a crap yourself!!!!!I just hope you get some sense so many years down the road.oh by the way,where did u go to college? mas mabaho pa kasi bunganga mo kesa sa mga mababahong masa na sinasabi mo.conceited mo!if i know, para kang si shrek!

supercow said...

Lol. I sooo love this blog. Natagpuan din kita sa wakas. Nabitin ako dun sa blurty account mo. ;p Really a fun read. I just wonder why others take you so seriously. And please if you ever change address can you tell us where you've gone to. Keep it coming!

dayspring said...

This is my first time to log in my comment... My, my, I've heard a lot about you and frankly, I'm amused. To someone who seemed to have come from a respected background you talk like you’ve never been out in a real world. But at least, you talked sense about having this kind of government that squeezed the hell out of Juan Dela Cruz. Pretty unfair, indeed. And it scares a lot of investors away, leaving us with fewer options on how to get up on our feet. Honestly, the government is of no help to us. To each his own would be the name of the game.

Well, at least even if you’re flaunting it in our faces that you’re one of those lucky bastards who were born with silver spoons in their mouths, you can still somehow look out from your ivory tower to see what’s going on. Make a noise if necessary. Tee-hee. Better to make a difference than sulk and one corner and scream till you brains spray out of your head. Go ahead and amuse me with your adventures and misadventures, cofibean. If it’s really your nature to be narcissistic, hey man, go ahead and be one. But always be in a thankful mode. And just don’t mind people who tend to be faultfinders. You can’t please everybody after all.

Ciao!

GUS said...

hey you rock dude... and by that i mean you rock worlds. imagine having comments after comments... you definitely made heads turn with your entries... KUDOS for you..

dami detractors! hahahah...

GO lang ng GO pare!!!

JELO said...

Baka mas matalino pa nga nung nagaaply sa so called company ninyo. Ikaw nga male-male nung english mo. Siguro kaya nagaaply nung mga tao sa company ninyo dahil gusto nila matulungan ka sa male-male mong english dahil alam ng parents mo na hinde ka marunong mag english..Sayang lang nung application for vacancy sa mag schools na bingay mo na, dahil masasayang lang, itatapon lang nila yan...

Jaw Walker said...

Hinde ko magets kung bakit ang daming galit sayo e mukhang concerned citizen ka naman.

Anonymous said...

I think may hidden meaning ang sinusulat ni cofibean. Common people, don't tell me na hanggang ngayon ay hinde nyo pa rin nagegets ang gustong iparating ng writer ng blog na ito. Obvious naman na walang taong tulad nya na sobrang mean.

Dapat nga ginawa na lang nyang cofimean itong username nya.

Anonymous said...

contented said...
kala ko wala mag cocoment. excited pa naman ako to see na no comment yung blog ni cofibean... kahit for a day lng. :)


Kung di ka naman naman pala. Ikaw kaya ang nagpost. Dapat sinarili mo na lang ang comment mo at ng hinde ka na nakadagdag dito.

Ako nga pinipigil ko ang sarili kong hinde magcomment.

GUYS, IBOYCOTT NA LANG NATIN ITONG BLOG NI COFIBEAN. WALANG MAGCOCOMMENT. ANGAT PINOY! YEAR 2006 NA!

Anonymous said...

Makamasa naman pala si Cofibean. Bakit nga ba hinde ka na lang tumakbo bilang mayor ng makati para naman magkaroon ng silbi ang mga pinagyayabang mong yaman. Animal ka.

Anonymous said...

Bakit nawala na sila Xumai at si Crouching?

Miss ko na sila.

Anonymous said...

Bakit moderated na ang blog na ito? Dati kahit sino pwede makapagpost. Tsaka saan nayung pinost na pinoy novel before? Kindly post ulit yung story about ate jam. Nakakalibog kasi.

Janice said...

When your aura got depleted, dapat patay ka na. Ang bobo mo putaka!

Anonymous said...

Hay naku! Sooo true talaga ang pinost mo about our government cofibin. Lahat ng yun ay mukhang pera. Sila ang nagpapahirap sa mga pilipino. Dapat sila ang bitayin.

Go cofibin!

Anonymous said...

Nakakalungkot naman. Yung mga pinopost kong iba hinde lumalabas. Bakit mo naman nirereject cofibean? Takot ka bang mabasa nila yun?

Bwahahahahaha!

Anonymous said...

hey cofibean!

why dont you post the pictures of the secretary applicants? you know? so we can make boto the prettiest one. that way,, we'll help you decide d ba? you dont have to sit that long in the presence of baho masa.

~~~

Anonymous said...

LOSER A-HOLE

vinzi said...

concerned citizen nga si cofibean, in his own special way. hehehe

Anonymous said...

lupitest comment ever cofibean! so true... so true...
not only do u have the looks and brain pare but may heart karin pala for those baho orcs eh, eventhough sila ang fault kaya ganito government natin noh. then they have the nerve pa to bash u pa! well ganun talaga life kng sino wala sila pa maingay sila pa mayabang!!!
walang gratitude talaga yan mga poor pangit bobo orcs sa atin mga pretty rich people! we help them na its our fault pa they are poor!

hope u run for office someday cofibean! ill definitely vote for you! lets help those poor bobo orcs become naman rich or atleast malagyan ng brain ang air head nila!

Anonymous said...

i'm definitely amused by your sentiments and private thoughts. i salute your courage for being brutally yourself and in turn made other people as brutal. i may sound positive but i would definitely rot in my own hell if my child will grow up to be anything like you. which makes me thankful for discovering your blogs because it actually served as a REMINDER for a lot of DONT'S if i wish to raise my children in a decent manner. maturity aside, it's good to see this social exchange amongst (i assume) young people without resorting to physical violence. if creating these blogs and posting comments are considered violent then i'd rather have this kind of violence any time. no one gets physically hurt however i hope no one will suffer from anxiety attacks and/or mental retardation.

Official said...

Good thing kahit papaano ay merong ka ng sense ngayon. Konti pa nga lang. Hope hinde ka huntingin ng mga taong sinasabihan mong bulok. Delikado yan.

Anonymous said...

Yahahahaha! Sige takbo ka for office next year. Sabihin mo lang kung anong position at complete na pangalan mo para naman makilala ka agad namin.

Anonymous said...

Good thing you moderated na cofibean your comment box. Ang dami kasing siraulong nagpopost dito ng mahahabang nobela kaya naghahang tuloy ang pc ko. :D

Publisher said...

Cofibean, if you really wanna earn additional money for yourself, compile this journal into a book. Siguradong bebenta ito. Trust me... I just know. If you need a publisher just say so. Ako bahala sayo.

Anonymous said...

Mas bobo ang nagcomment nito. Magtatagalog na nga lang ay mali-mali pa! LMAO! San ka ba dude graduate?

---------------------------------------

JELO said...

Baka mas matalino pa nga nung nagaaply sa so called company ninyo. Ikaw nga male-male nung english mo. Siguro kaya nagaaply nung mga tao sa company ninyo dahil gusto nila matulungan ka sa male-male mong english dahil alam ng parents mo na hinde ka marunong mag english..Sayang lang nung application for vacancy sa mag schools na bingay mo na, dahil masasayang lang, itatapon lang nila yan...

Anonymous said...

Is that you cofibean? Bakit bigla atang bumait at meron pang pa-se-sensitive pang word sa blog mo?

Shet ka! Sobrang plastic mo. Bakla!

Jose Pidal said...

Tang-ina mo! Kung dito nga lang ay binoboycott ka na namin tatakbo ka pa!

Malamang isa ka ring kurakot tulad ng mga hayup sa gobyerno natin.

Ang kakapal ng mukha nyo!

Anonymous said...

Bakit walang photo si Cofibean? At bakit galit na galit sya sa mundo? What's with all the hate man?

marko said...

i thought this was funny for a while (for the satirical value)...but now i can't decide which is more pathetic, those people who love you or hate you. either way, you've done a good job of getting them to react and making them believe your character actually exists.

then again, maybe that is your purpose, isn't it? a social experiment disguised as a parody blog. if it is, i gotta hand it to you man. i hope you have funnier material in the future though. i'll be coming back here from time to time.

peace,

marko

Anonymous said...

cofibean,

good money making business,,,sell your photos! pretty sure plenty of mad people out there will buy it.

and oh yeah hire some gun men and body guards (that is if you can afford to get atleast one), sure those orcs will hunt you down.

contented said...

-----------------------------
contented said...
kala ko wala mag cocoment. excited pa naman ako to see na no comment yung blog ni cofibean... kahit for a day lng. :)

anonymous said...
Kung di ka naman naman pala. Ikaw kaya ang nagpost. Dapat sinarili mo na lang ang comment mo at ng hinde ka na nakadagdag dito.
------------------------------

eh, nag comment na nga sila eh. di nag comment nlang din ako...! kasi useless na... :)

Anonymous said...

shhh.... you're all ruining the fun of it all... cofibean is a real person and i'd be so glad to meet him personally. piss off loser orcs...

Anonymous said...

peeps, do you know the story about the coffee bean? (pronounced as cofibean). lahat ng hahaluan nito nagiging kakulay niya! do you want this to happen on you? just think...

Anonymous said...

Apparently his life is starting to get boring. I can forsee the closing of this blog soon due to extreme lameness

Anonymous said...

.
.
mainit na ulo ng mga tao. ate cofi soli mo na daw ang dildo kasi gagamitin ni yaya soling.
.
tumawag nga pala si medusa. yung friend mong bakla sa ermita. may gimik daw kayo mamaya.
..
thanks.

Kryptonio said...

.
.
mainit na ulo ng mga tao. ate cofi soli mo na daw ang dildo kasi gagamitin ni yaya soling.
.
tumawag nga pala si medusa. yung friend mong bakla sa ermita. may gimik daw kayo mamaya.
..
thanks.

kljlkwp said...

hey there!

you really have a funny blog pare. it makes me tawa naman talga the way you write them blogs, pare. it gives me kabag nga sa stomach because of katatawa e.

minsan din it makes me inis pero xempre diba its what you want na mangyari, so i keep my cool. i isip it na lang that your trying to be katawa-tawa.

what position naman you are planning to make takbo? i will make boto you if you make bayad all utang ng pinas pare.

nasty lil devil said...

whoa.. cofibean is like worth $27,097.92! hahaha may butal pa..

kaye said...

you make my blog look really mababaw...

kaye said...

your blog makes my blog really babaw..

Anonymous said...

Bakit nirereject ni cofibean ang ibang post ko? Hinde naman masama yung nobelang nilagay ko ah! Very entertaining nga at mahaba pa! Pamparami din yun ng commentsmo dito.

Anonymous said...

At bakit wala na din si Dave Grohl? Dapat pati mga post namin ay inaapprove mo cofibean para masaya! Nakakalungkot na kasi pinagpopost mo. Mga walang kwenta.

Mas magaling pa katulong namin mag english sayo. Boba!

jio said...

I comment here pare, just to show sa mga kasama ko na tumaas ang comment count dito. Oks.

Dave Grohl said...

am still here doing my part. at least some messages got delayed because of the spam. i bet cofibean really had a hardtime opening and deleting his comment site. thanks cofibean!

Jamiraquai said...

Wow! Isa kang sobrang yaman na nilalang. I even checked it sa technorati. Benta mo na sakin tong right ng blog mo. Bilhin ko piso. Lol!

Anonymous said...

Bakit under moderation na ang comment box ni cofibean? Hinde na tuloy real time ang chat natin. Hahaha!

Suggestion ko kay cofibean na maglagay ng chatroom para ok. :)

Suggestion lang po.

Chuvaneziz said...

Hahahaha! Iba naman ngayon ang binalingan mo ng galit. Hinde na mga callcenter agent. Gobyerno naman. Ano ba talaga ate?

Anonymous said...

Concerned ka na sa lagay na yan ha? E kung ikayod ko kaya ang mukha mo sa buko tapos ipabulldozer ko hanggang sa mapatag ang tigyawat mo sa mukhang gago ka.

Anonymous said...

Dave Grohl, meron ka bang site? Sabi ng iba kaw din si Cofibean, totoo ba yun?

Bwisita said...

I just can't imagine kung gano karaming tao ang bumibista sa site na ito. Imagine, meron na si cofibean na 4,276 na profile views. Profile views pa lang yun ha. Wala pang actual visitors. Siguro times 2. Whoa! The guy must be earning a lot sa google sense nya. Malamang sobrang yaman na nga ng gagong yan ngayon. Hahaha!

Anonymous said...

Pano ba magkaroon ng picture dito? Kailangan ko bang magregister? Saan po. Kindly post how. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Just wondering lang po. Totoong tao ba si cofibean?

Dave Grohl said...

am i cofibean?

Anonymous said...

Tang-ina kang cofibean ka! Bakit mo dinedelete ang mga post ko? Ano ha? Gusto mo pa ba ng marami? Hahahaha!

Shit ka. Bakla!

Concerned Agent said...

Sa maga tagabasa ni Cofibean:

Kilala ko po ang taong ito. Isa siyang matabang lalake na maitim at nagtratrabaho sa isang callcenter sa QC. Wala lang pong magawa yan kaya ganyan sya.

Ipagpaumanhin nyo na po ang mga kagaguhang pinag-gagawa nya. Satire lang po ito.

Maraming salamat po.

Anonymous said...

You go dawg! But first make bayad all the utang ng pinas and finance all the government agencies tutal ur rich naman right? Go make yabang yourself sa position.

Will surely vote for you here!

Anonymous said...

Merong mga nagpost dito before na ikaw din daw si Cofibean. Ngayon ako ay nalilito. Sabi ng iba taga QC daq si Cofibean, tapos yung isa naman sabi si Ariel daw sya. Tapos yung iba si Dave Grohl daw. Sino ba talaga si Cofibean? Bibigyan ko ng 300 load ang sinumang makapagbibigay ng information about him. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Nice money making scheme you got here pare. Pwede sumosyo? :D

Anonymous said...

Hahaha! Ang tapang talaga ni cofibean. Pati mga government officials inaaway na. Ingats ka lang dre at baka isalvage ka.

Anonymous said...

BAKIT WALA PA RIN ANG PINOST KO KANINA????????????????????/

vinzi said...

a few more of this in the next coming months and cofibean will become an urban legend. >:) hahaha..
who is cofibean?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, sino nga ba si cofibean? Bakit parang sobrang limited ang information about him?

Anak ng tokwa. BAka hinde ako makatulog mamyang gabi sa kakaisip. Meron akong nabasang comment before na meron daw si cofibean dating pinost na pic dito. Kindly repost the url sa pic mga igan. Sobrang curious na kasi ako. Baka dahil sa curiosity ko ay maging bading na ako...

Wakekeke!

~@~

Say no to war!

Cofibean Fanatic said...

There, I did justice na against Dave Grohl, Cofibean. Hihihi.

Anonymous said...

Walang kwentang tao kaya ganun si cofibean pare. So let's just join hand in hand na lang and boycott this site. Wala ng magcocomment from now on.

Anonymous said...
Apparently his life is starting to get boring. I can forsee the closing of this blog soon due to extreme lameness

Anonymous said...

Ang lahat ng nagcomment mula sa ibabaw ko pataas ay kasing-siraulo ni cofibean. Mga bobo din kayong tulad ng idolo nyo!

Anonymous said...

TANGINA!!!!!!!!!!!! BAKIT HANGGANG NGAYON WALA PA ANG MGA POSTINGS KO?????????????????????????????

!^%$@%^#!%@*#&!*&(!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

taenang blog 'to hahahahaha!

AKILEZ said...

You're very proud of yourself Cofibean that's good we need more Filipinos like you.

Bonga ka di Sigilang Sigilang itaas ang kilay!!!!

aaron, king of asia said...

concerned agent, oo nga. paki hi mo naman kasama mo para sa kin. bravo bravo, talaga. galing ng blog na to.

Julius said...

"Just like my idea of bulldozing all the squatters area and developing it into some kind of architectural marvel and have the bahong masa work for it as janitors, alalays and tagapunas on it." - This is the most innovative idea that I've read with regards to solving the country's problem on excess, uhm, squatting.

Hahaha! So aliw, this blog!

Anonymous said...

Ano bang meron sa blog ni cofibean bakit ang dami laging comments? Pag binabasa ko naman ay di ko magets. Ang hirap kasing basahin ng taglish nya. Bobo pa construction ng mga words.

I really don't get it people. Meron bang tinatawag na blog hypnosis? Hahaha!

Anonymous said...

Omigosh! Kung kaw kaya ang pabuldoze ko?! I mean, you can even speak in streight english tapos ang yabang-uabang mo magsalita. Go check you're grammar first bago tumaas ang kilay mo.

I should have ignored the email I receive kanina kung alam ko lang na maiinis lang pala ako.

another cofibean fanatic said...

.go, go, go cofibean!

.i wab u!

Orconio said...

di kaya si cofibean at eddie gil ay iisa? hmmmm.....

Anonymous said...

di kaya si cofibean ay si mister bean?!!!!

Anonymous said...

i lavshu pare!

Anonymous said...

at bakit ba sobrang apektado din yung mga nagbabasa ng blog na to? eh obvious naman na for entertainment lang to. and the more you post those negative comments, the more it proves na you keep coming back to this site.

Dave Grohl said...

Let me analyze. You still get your comments up to hundreds but it took 2-3 days to reach that certain goal. That's interesting. I think? Well, nice try cofibean.

Dave Grohl said...

On the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago, the DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match." The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers yes, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.

The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.

One particular game, however, several months ago made the City of Big Shoulders drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing I've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down:

DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"
Contestant: (laughing) "Yes I have."
DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando,Florida if you win. What is your name? First only please."

Contestant: "Brian."
DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
Brian: "Yes."
DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?"
Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."
DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."
Brian: "Sara."
DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
Brian: (laughing) Yes, she's at work."
DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"
Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."
DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"
Brian: "About 10 minutes."
DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."
Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."
DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?"
Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her Mom is staying for a couple of weeks..."
DJ: "Uh huh..."
Brian: "...and the Mother-in-law was in the shower at the Time."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: "On the kitchen table."
DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this. (3 minutes of commercials follow.)

DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?" (touchtones ringing)
Clerk: "Kinkos."
DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"
Clerk: "This is she."
DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."

Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"
DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo...do you know the rules of 'Mate match'?"

Sarah: "No."
DJ: "Good!"
Brian: (laughing)
Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"
Brian (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest."
DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to Orlando, Florida for 5 days on us. Disney World. Sea World. Tickets to the Magic's game. The whole deal. Get it Sarah?"

Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "All right. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."
DJ: "What time?"
Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."
DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"
Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."
DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question,
Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to Florida. Are you ready?"
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Where did you have it?"
Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that, did you?"
Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
DJ: "What is bothering you so much,Sarah?"
Sarah: "Well, it's just that my Mom is vacationing with us and..."
DJ: "She saw?"
Sarah: "BRIAN?!"
Brian: "No, no I didn't..."
DJ: "Ease up there, sister. Just messing' with your head. Your answer, please?"
Sara: "Dear Lord...I cannot believe you told them this."
Brian: "Come on, honey, it's for a free trip to Florida."
DJ: "Let's go, sister. We ain't got all day here. Where did you do it?"
Sarah: (short pause) "In the ass."
(long, long pause)
DJ: "We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors."

ReginLei said...

Hahah!! What can i say? You're a SHIT man!! That's why youre getting all those threats! They are like flies to a dung and you are that dung!!! Dont get me wrong. Take that as a compliment because that means you are SOMEBODY, where ever you go they follow!!! Gets? Nagkataon lang that you are good in what your ginagawa!!! HAHAHAHA ayan nahahawa na ko sa iyo! Medyo mababa ang pangunawa rin ng iba eh. The thing with your blog is NOT TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY, like you said nakapangalan ito sa iyo. Just like the katutubong kasabihan na "Bato bato sa langit, ang tamaan wag maging angry" HAR HAR HAR! Seriously, siguro isa ka sa mga taong hindi mailabas sama at dinadaan sa pagsulat! Hahahaha! Inget me sa iyo. Ano kaya klaseng tao ka? Sige keep it up! How about current events? Sana makita ko comment ko sa site mo ha! (Kupal ko ano?)
BTW tsr din ako but im not offended. TNX

dyosa said...

FREE SEX!! CALL OR TEXT ME : 09162919200

dyosa said...

FREE SEX!! CALL OR TEXT ME : 09162919200

Court of Appeals said...

Obviously, cofibean is rejecting some comments. Dahil yung ibang comments ko hanggang ngayon ay hinde pa rin lumalabas. Mas masaya yung dati na free commenting minus that Dave Grohl guy. Siguro kung walang moderation dito, this entry must have more than 200+ or more comments na.

Tsaka bakit dinelete ni Cofibean yung 70+ comments sa isang entry? Kaya tuloy 14 na lang halos ang natira.

Cofibean, pls, ibalik mo na sa dati itong comment box mo. Mas mayasa before.

Anonymous said...

You are one fucked up dude!

Jolina said...

Why don't you like make sagasa na lang all the callcenter orcs and burn down malacanang para for you to shut up. Nonsense kasi all your sinasabi e.

Anonymous said...

hey dont mind them..just write all your thoughts about anything...come to think of it...many people say rude things you,but wherever you go they still follow you...so they are interested right?kaya to all of you..leave him alone.mind your own business.

El_guapito said...

dude dis comment is for ur bad vibes.. =>

astig pare, gud thing na-post mo yan, im planning on hitting d gym kc, so i ges, dpt dun ako sa gym n wlang ktulad nung mga katutubos lyk dem.. hehe

Dave Grohl said...

hi cofibean!!!! can't post a comment on your latest posting, locked up dude? tsktsktsk. gotcha!

cofibean said...

hi all! just want to reveal myself. i'm a call center agent from libis. this is just a satire. just wanted to be as popular as Bill Gates using this blogger. sorry for those who were hurt, really, i apologize. hope you understand. Matt

cofibean said...

I like cofibean's blog. It keeps me entertained. I may get numerous eyebrow raises here, but we have to be thankful that we're the ones that are making the comments and not the other way around.

When you look at the broad picture, we're not the ones with the orcish origin. Its him. =p

Keep your blog masterpieces coming, cofibean. We could sure use a good laugh once in a while.

Anonymous said...

do you really expect graduates from those school to apply as a secretary in your so-called company? hehehe.. dream on man. btw, i believe that in every blog entry that u write, each character represents a certain person or a certain group of people. and if one will look at the deeper meaning of each entry (i dnt know if there's any point in doing that), you would understand the meaning underlying each story. great job man. :)

Anonymous said...

hoy inataya ka!!!
ayawg gara gara oi!!!
mura kag gwapo da!!!
gwapo pa ako iro nimo!!!
bati nimog nawng!!!
swerte ka buhi pa ka kaw na!!!!
makit.an gani tika pikhan ta jud ka ug paum.umon taka sa ako bunal!!!
hilas nimo inaytaya ka!!!

Anonymous said...

idol!!!

Anonymous said...

idol!!!

Anonymous said...

idol!!!!
watdapak.
watdahek.

Anonymous said...

this blog is really something. it's not the posts that i'm interested in but the comments that others give. btw, to those who enjoy the comments as much as i do, i suggest you visit cofibean's old blogspot at http://www.blurty.com/~caffeinerush and i recommend that you read the comments on 15 Aug 2003 (5:21 am). here you'll see cofibean as a student. he was a fag back then, always was, always will be... and i quote if paolo santos is your man then you are his what?

Anonymous said...

small dick, unlike me ive got a big dick and I fuck girls , unlike cofibean --he fucks dogs....wrong species.....stupid..ysabelle was his dog, didnt you know that?..........

EdnerBr@man.ph.sykes.com -email me your thoughts, i enjoy them..your all stupid anyway