Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Blog Worth and the Kulit Natives

Ok here's the deal pare, I'm really annoyed now by some katutubo posers emailing me stuff on how they love daw other people's blog and that my dicklit daw is full of crapolas. The hell! I mean, my blog kaya is the real deal pare. I know it is not as boring as the Zafra site with her uber boring choice of words. And hell! Not even comparable to the pathetic blog of that Brian Fag. Not even close pare. Mine is waaaay too cool. Let the blog worth do the talking pare: = blog is worth $69,438.42. = blog is worth $186,298.20. = blog is worth $234,284.10.

See pare. I mean, you're not so bobo naman to see the difference right? They've been blogging since forever na pero ako, I started last October lang pero the traffic was really overwhelming na and what's really katawa pare is that I'm not blogging everyday pa! What more pa kaya if my blog is like tagal na rin? That would be like million dollar worth of blog na pare. I was really lito na nga on the bulk of emails I'm receiving everyday. Sometimes nga I'm just deleting na lang lahat ng emails from my yahoo inbox dahil its soo dami na talaga.

And with regards to the google ads I put on my site pare, please lang, it's not uber studded kaya like the other pathetic blog/s I mentioned.

So, I guess you get the point na pare. I'm the real deal. True blooded writer here pare. And I don't even need to brag about my achievements. I'm made na kaya.

So yun na nga diba? I was really annoyed na sa mga loser comments and emails tapos my mom hired pa another driver for me. And I thought it was goodbye na to the native katutubo drivers. Shit talaga pare... I have a new driver na - Mang Hilario. Tang-ina talaga, the name would suggest agad na he's ancient na rin no. Stupid talaga my mom for hiring another old driver. I mean, she's blind ba not to realize na she's risking my life by hiring stupid old natives? The hell talaga pare. I mean is there anything more native and older than the name Hilario? Damn! I really need to get out uli of this country pare. I need to replenish my aura on another bansa to feel better. :(

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Kapuso Bungle.

Can't help talaga but laugh when I first saw this video feed pare. It's really funny kaya. See how the katutubo reporter made himself look so fucking stupid live on national TV. Uber funny talaga! It really made me sooo saya! Hahaha!

Friday, April 14, 2006

Kadiri Places this Holy Week

Ok pare. Just stayed home this Holy Week because orcs are like scattered almost everywhere nowadays. I mean, I made a list na nga on where not to go to this Lenten Season.

1. Boracay : This is a big nono place for sosy people round this time. The place is literally littered with baho natives and bobo orcs. The buhangin is very panghi na rin around this time of year because of the ill-mannered natives who's making paikot-ikot pa sa sand. Yeah... literally spreading skin diseases and baho smell sa buhangin. So if you're still kulit and made punta pa rin to bora, please don't forget to wear your thickest flip flops and make dala na rin alcohol to rid yourself of some skin diseases coming from the baho natives. A gas mask is also a must! It's better to enjoy na lang the beach on TV. That's what I did pare, I just recorded na lang Bora the last time I went there. So I am now enjoying the beach minus the natives and orcs right at the comfort of my own room.

2. Puerto Gallera : The bakla-mecca during this time of year. It's like all the baklas from all over the Philippines do a pilgrimage to this place every Lenten Season. So expect loud, flambouyant and baho people along the beach. The shoreline pa will surely be shit-laden because of the luwag ng butthole of those gay orcs. Damn pare! I bet that if a terrorist will blow this place up round this time of year, 99.9% of the bakla population here sa pinas will be like sent na to oblivion. As in wala na. So if you're looking for a quiet place to make dasal this season, literally avoid this place pare. Sayang lang your sandals if you stepped on some gayshit.

3. Bus Stations/Piers : Here is where all the baho loser natives make siksikan to go to the province during this time of year. The vile-stench of the general masa is really evident here. So it is really advisable to bring some cotton balls dabbed in alcohol to put inside ur nose to at least filter the filthy air round this places. Hirap na panahon now pare. I think 95% of natives are carriers na of some hybrid airborne diseases. So stay away from these places. Mura lang kaya domestic flight nowadays to anywhere sa pinas.

So there pare. I made na my top 3 places not to go to this holy week sa pinas. So, if you really care for your skin and your well being, STAY AWAY from these places. But if you have pam-Belo, I guess its ok lang to indulge and have fun. Just don't forget to take at least 1,500 mg of Vitamin C to protect yourself from the native diseases you might get. Mas better if you go to a private resort na lang to enjoy fully your summer vacation.


Monday, April 03, 2006

Tiesto, Manila PICC Forum

Dj Tiesto, the self proclaimed World's Best DJ held his boring spin at the Manila PICC Forum last Friday. Grabe pare, and I thought he was the best... Yeah, he was the ultimate best loser in my list right now! As in! I was given a VIP pass pa naman by a client tapos masasayang lang pala my time listening to his loser tracks. One lang I like sa lahat ng crappy music he played - "Lethal Industry". The rest were all sakit na sa tenga to listen. The bass pa was really sabog.

So yun na nga diba? The spin was really boring na tapos the place is filled pa with baho natives. Kadire talaga pare the stench of some katutubo posers sa VIP stand. Tang-ina talaga pare, I think they gatecrashed lang tapos they made salisi lang to the VIP section kasi they really look the part pare. They all look so mahirap kaya. I told nga the guard to throw them out the venue kasi they are all so cramping my style lang. I was uber gwapo pa naman tapos madidikit lang sa kadire balat-mahirap na skin. No way pare! The hell! Why naman kasi Smart addict is giving out pa passes to the masa people. I mean, meron naman Hed Kendi for the mahihirap, why naman they have to mingle pa with the glitteratis. Diba dapat stick to your own kind? Kaya smelling baho na pati rare events because of the baho katutubos.

I was asar na tapos malas pa pare that night because I lost my Nokia 9300. Shit talaga. I bet some orcs made it inside the Forum tapos made nakaw my cel. Kaiba na talaga mundo nowadays pare, it's like we real people are being outnumbered na by the multitudes of wannabes. Social climbers trying to act mayaman pero looking basura naman. What the fuck are they thinking kaya?

So I bought na lang a shirt at the lobby then made alis na. I left early kasi I was really bored to death na. And besides, it's so hirap kayang huminga because of the vile stench. Tapos, Claude was nowhere in sight pa. Not only that pare, some stupid driver parked pa his fucking mumurahin kia pride at the likod of my car. The hell! I was really infuriated sa katangahan of some natives. So I called na lang some kadiri tambays to help me get rid of the car kasi I really dont have time pa to wait for the hampaslupang owner of the bulok kia pride. They made bitbit-tulak na lang the car out of my way out. I gave them na lang 500 pesos and told them to make batak the wiper of the car just to get even for the owner's katangahan. Hahaha.