Saturday, July 28, 2007

Rotten Orcs!!!

Its not everytime pare that I get to watch tv. Pero just recently lang I can't help talaga but laugh at a religious show I've seen on TV. As in literally laughing talaga pare. I even heard my yaya speaking to one of the native muchachas if I was high daw ba on drugs. Tangina dude, why are they making pakialam diba if I'm laughing alone no. I mean, the show was really kakatawa naman talaga. Kasi pare, there was this old lady who was making a live testimonial that she was totally healed by a certain miracle guru that only made ihip and hawak her forehead tapos she got himatay lang, then after that, she was claiming na she was totally healed na daw. As in literally dancing and prancing pare. Prior to that, she was bed ridden daw because of excruciating pain on her back. It was some sort of cancer ata that rendered her invalid. Tapos, when a friend accompanied her to the gathering to get healed, she was complete pa with props -- wheelchair and alalais. Anyways, the funny thing was when the guru made ihip on her forehead and she literally dropped to the floor like a wilted veggy. I thought she was patay na or something kasi I figured the guru must have that uber baho breath that made everyone he spoke to as in up close and personal be like patay na. The weird thing lang pare, after a few minutes, the lady was making kisay pa. Tangina that breath talaga! Just imagine, with just a single ihip lang pare, the person in front of him will drop agad and was making kisay pa! He is special alright. Gifted with special baho breath with healing powers. What made it even funnier was the fact that after the kisayan incident, the old lady stood up as if there's no pain on her back na agad. Ang cool diba? And you know what I think pare? I think they are just making it up that they are healed na. Kasi its obvious naman na it was kahiyaan na diba. It was aired ba naman on national TV pare. So it'll be kahiya if they don't act that they get healed diba? T'was a bunch of crapolas pare. They are just faking it kaya. If you will try to look closer, its obvious naman na they are in sooo much pain while trying to get up and walk eh. Some of them are making ngiwi pa when trying. Tapos you'll never hear from them again after a couple of days because they were all like patay na. How fucking stoopid is that pare?!

Ok dude, im not trying to act as an anti kristo or whatever no. Was just airing my opinion on these shitty programs on tv. Eh its obvious naman na the people behind these programs are earning a lot from it eh. See how their lives remarkably changed from being a busabos preacher to instant millionaires? Tangina, thats what you call as pure panloloko pare. Capitalizing on religion to gain material wealth is soo fucking panloloko pare. They should rot in hell for doing so. Its soo obvious naman na the driving force behind them is Taning diba? I mean, they are not even God's gift to mankind like me. And they don't have what it takes eh. Kaya can't help it talaga but to laugh whenever these shows are on TV pare. Believe me, stand up comedy at its finest! Really good stuff dude. Good thing I'm not that tanga to believe in those gago no. As in asa pa them diba.

Anyways, just got my Iphone. I'm sad land lang kasi it is network locked pa.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

The Peninsula Manila Privilege Card

Ok pare, I know its kinda tagal na rin since the last time I posted something here. I was kinda busy rin kasi juggling my schedules lately. My stupid secretary kasi was like bobo rin in managing my time. Anyways, just got home nga pala from a night out with my mom. Actually, t'was all purely coincidental that we had a date kanina. Just got kasi my privilege card from Peninsula a couple of weeks ago and I have this complimentary dinner with them (also a special room night). Unfortunately, I made my reservation sabay sa event of my mom with her other fabolosa kalachuchi friends. I called my mom's group, the circle of the kalachuchis because they all smelled like one pare. We have kasi that tree at the back of our farm house in Batangas, so I could easily make the comparison. Tangina talaga pare, my mom kasi coerced me to make mano pa and beso beso with her friends eh. So I was making timpi lang not to wipe agad my face with my hanky because the smell was like really disgusting talaga. And besides, its their reunion no and I'm not a part of their circle kaya. So I just told my mom that I have to leave them because I have a reservation pa at the Nielsen's. They were are the glass atrium lobby kasi. So yun na nga diba. Just bought lang saglit a sourdough bread at the Peninsula Hotel Bakery because everything was like discounted na. Then I called Hilariously Stoopid to pick them up, as usual, the old native was like nanginginig na naman when he got inside the hotel. He's not used to that kind of setting daw kasi. Ang pathetic no? I mean, he's not going to have an overnight stay there or something naman.. I just asked him to pick up the bread and thats it. Ambisyoso old fool no?

Anyways, I just presented my card and told them that I have a reservation made by my agent, June Lopez. The attendant directed me to my table and the rest was history na pare. The buffet spread was really good talaga. I literally pig out kanina. Good thing I ate alone or else I wont enjoy the food as much as I did kanina. Tanga kasi all the people I invited eh. I remember texting a dozen of my friends and none of them replied back. Probably all of their fones are lowbatt na pare. Kasi I even called 3 of my friends, ilang rings lang then busy tones na agad. When I tried to call them again, cannot ba reached na. They've missed out on a great treat pare. So bobo kasi nila for not charging their fone diba. I mean, its not everytime that I call.

Anyways, when I got out of Nielsen's, I thought of checking muna G4 since mukhang tagal pa matatapos my mom. So, I texted Hilariously Stoopid to make me hatid muna. I waited for 15 minutes but no native driver came so I called him instead.. Tangina pare, he was out of reach daw. So yun na nga diba. Since nasa kanya the valet parking ticket I have no choice but to walk na lang papunta to Glorietta. Of all tanginang koopal dude, Hilariously Stoopid was outside lang pala near the cascading water thingie of The Peninsula Manila chatting with one of the native guards. Ciempre diba, I was really infuriated talaga so I made sigaw na to the matandang koopal what on hell was he doing there eh I was texting him kaya like forever. Tapos the native guard pa made tingin at me like sama. So I shouted nga ulit at Hilariously Stoopid in pure english pare. I said na lang, "Are you natives ba planning to take a dip in the cascading thingie? Well, I guess you should! Both of you are really smelly na. I can smell you guys from inside ha! And believe me, its really shitty talaga!" So yun na nga diba, since I was really intimidating while shouting at the top of my voice, the native guard talaga was really pahiya. I'm like a VIP member kaya of Peninsula no. And they should make tabi whenever I pass through. Shitty minimum wage earners. I made galit na to Hilariously Stoopid infront of the baho guard to show him that natives are below me no. So yun na nga diba. Since I'm walking na naman, I just told him to please find a signal na lang for his mumurahing phone. I will check something lang kasi at Glorietta. Been drooling na kasi over the next Harry Potter book.

So there pare, good thing, he made sagot agad when I called him. I was like inis pa naman when I found out that the book is not yet out. Probably I'll make balik na lang ulit on Monday.