Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Went to Powerbooks kanina to look for a certain book by Tony Judt, called PostWar. It tells something about the history of Europe since 1945. Gift ko lang sa Grandpapa ko this Christmas. My stupid tita kasi organized a grand reunion next week sa Dusit, Makati. (Tentative pa the place between Benkay or sa Benjarong.) Siempre diba I have to make paimpress to my lolo since I am his favorite apo. Siguro he will be gulat to see me like so gwapo na and all talino pa. I'm the one kaya running our business now. My papa is acting like a consultant na lang. Which is dapat lang no! He's like sooo old na kaya and myopic pa. He have no choice but to let me run na the business dahil dami opportunists natives na always waiting for a chance to make kupit sa cash flow namin. I just don't trust those people sa office. They all look like magnanakaw no. Tapos the old lady pa my dad hired sa office was like amoy lupa na. I bet only one bulate na lang ang hinde pa nakapag-sign sa death certificate nya no. Creepy talaga pare I tell you.

So yun na nga diba? I was like alone lang kanina looking for that stupid book when I saw Claude with one of his boylet. The biatch! Hahaha! Just recently lang she was crying because her boyfriend left her daw. Eh it's like two days nya pa lang yata namemeet yung guy. Tapos nafuck lang sya up to sawa, love na nya! Wawa naman my friend no? Well, at least my kaibigan is like soo happy right now. And siempre diba, I'm happy na rin for her. They even invited me pa nga for coffee at Coffeebean. So I left na muna my bookhunt and made sama with them. Claude was really blooming talaga with all her pacute and beautiful eyes. Kadiri talaga some gestures. Lols! I think they are like bagay kaya. The guy is witty though not as handsome as me. Pero still it's ok na. My friend told me na happy naman daw sya. So yun na nga diba? I lost track of time na tapos Coffee pa at 12 noon! Kaya grabe the init ng pakiramdam no? Steamy pa the two. Kaya I bid them farewell na lang kasi icky na my feeling eh. I called Mang Tonyo to pick me up and head home. The hell with the PostWar book. I'll just buy na lang an art deco book for my stupid lolo maybe next week prior to the event. So hirap naman kasi hanapin the book he was looking for eh.

When I got home kanina, my cousin from Singapore was here pa! So I told my mom, "Mom, why of all places, why here pa? Don't they have any money to check-in sa hotel?" Tapos my mom looked at me like sama kasi my tito is near lang. The hell! I hate pa naman that cousin. He's like sooo bobo no. I bet his parents just adopted him lang. He's like pampasira din kasi ng aura eh.

So yun na nga diba? Instead of going out pa to do something, I stayed inside my room na lang dahil baka that stupid cousin of mine will make pakialam pa some of my stuff, I'll kill him talaga. Better if I'll just make tapon all of his belongings sa kalsada tapos I'll just shout na lang na get the hell out of here no! That will be uber cool pare tapos I have pa this mean kopita while laughing infront of the camera. Hahaha!

Siguro tama na muna that for now. I need to look after pa my stupid cousin dahil umalis my mom. By the way, I came across one cool article kanina ---

Suing Telemarketers Made Simple.

Lord of the Distinctive Rings writes "Telemarketer calls victim in wee hours. Victim is lawyer. Victim sues telemarketer. Hilarity ensues, as recounted in narrative replete with links and information on how you too can sue up the wazoo." Well, one's certainly not ever going to get rich or anything going after telemarketers on a one-off basis, but every bit helps, I think.

80 comments:

beach said...

i love you cofibean! you rock pare... now this is the "it" kwento dude. i like it when you kwento your day and all that, unlike the annoyance of so many bashings...sana you'll do a lot of kwentos like these nalang...

Vic said...

haha very interesting.

Where did you graduate?

I'm from Makati too. Along Mckinley. We could be neighbors.

Anonymous said...

Sino ang stupid cofibean? Ikaw? Wahahaha!

constipated glitterati said...

i just love your site cofibean...anyways, i never really approved of the way you explicitly showed your disdain to the fellowship of the orcs until this afternoon. a friend heard two orclets speaking so ghastly about me and i dont even know who these hairy mammoths are...like duh...im not the one working in a call center di ba (yes, they work in a call center)??? i'm working my ass off and im not trying hard to fit in...fuck all of those orcs! sign me in in your crusade against orcs.

Anonymous said...

nyahahahaa!!!! kopibin kung stupid lolo, tita at cousin mo mas stupid ka..stupid asshole!!!!

incomplet_ said...

haha! i enjoyed reading your blog cofibean! your sooooo....! hmp! basta yun na yun!sana you continue posting bogs like this! i realy enjoyed it "pare!" hehe

YOU ROCK DUDE!

Anonymous said...

Ugh. Decided not to read the article you just posted. Just the title is so full of crap. And so are you.

I'll probably go make my own call center and pirate all those that you took in so that you are left with even bigger imbeciles that match their owner :P

Anonymous said...

Hi Cofibean..
your so popular pati yung columnist ng Inquirer si MLQ3 eh na mention yung blog mo at check this out http://jobert.blogspot.com/
grabe ka na ...super popular ...ituloy mo lang yan..at sa mga call center losers.....pppfffft!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

ang bading nung user pic mo!aylavet!

Anonymous said...

"So yun na nga diba? " - sino kausap mo???

Anonymous said...

Nafeature na ba itong blog na ito sa mga newspaper? Dapat siguro ay finefeature na ito. Para iresearch ng media kung sino talaga si Cofibean. Ng magka-alaman na!

Anonymous said...

Saang part nagsusulat si jobert? Sya ba yung Jobert Sucaldito? Hihihi.

Anonymous said...

Wala akong magets sa mga pinost ni cofibean. Nakakahilo. Papalit-palit ng language. Kindly change nga to pure english or tagalog ng hinde ako nahihilo.

Feeling ko tuloy ay bumaba ang I.Q. ko dahil sa pagbasa ng journal mo.

Abner said...

Bakit ba ang daming comments ng site na ito? Tapos karamihan hate comments naman. Bakit nyo ba binabalik-balikan itong blog na ito kung galit naman kayo. Mas maganda siguro kung hinde nyo na lang binabasa ng hinde sumakit ang ulo nyo!

Ako nga nahighblood e! Wakekeke!

Anonymous said...

Dapat siguro ay meron ding gumawa ng blog na puro kabaklaan naman ang topic. Para mas masaya!

Anonymous said...

Ano ba yan cofibean, pamily nyo puro stufid! That means stufid ka rin.

Hay naku! Maka-slif na nga at baka maging stufid din akong tulad mo.

Fanget!

Anonymous said...

Gwapo naman pala si Cofibean e. Kala ko ba tadtad ka ng tigyawat kaya ka nagtatake ng roacutane?

Anonymous said...

O my gawd! Bakit wala pa rin ang mga comments ko hanggang ngayon? Bakit cofibean, natatakot ka ba sa mga sinabi ko? Bok! Bok! Bok! Bok! Bok! Urong tite ka pala e.

Xumaitite said...

Bakit hinde ko na nakikita si Xumai?

Anonymous said...

Anong uring anak ka at bakit pati lolo mo tinatawag mong stupid?

Anonymous said...

most of the ppl who leave comments are orcs, we have people who work at call centers who are also big supporters of this blog, and we also have haters who are mostly orcs.... orcs orcs orcs, orcs everywhere!!! call center people are everywhere!!! like maggots

palamunin@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

bad thing about orcs is that they are everywhere. most likely i'll be seating again next to some orcs in Mc Donald's when i have my breakfast later. . . they'll be talking with their stupid accent. like, leave the accent in the office!!!

palamunin@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

"Dapat siguro ay meron ding gumawa ng blog na puro kabaklaan naman ang topic. Para mas masaya!"

yup, meron. check out bryanboy.com, you'll love him! i swear

Anonymous said...

filthy rich people like you go to hell....no wonder every negative word or idea that you have depicts your immaturiy not to forget boring and pathetic life.I pity you...Hope you finally see the light!Good luck on your next orc thrilling experience...

Anonymous said...

I really missed the callcenter bashing. Please revert to that one cofibean. I don't like the way you are changing right now.

Please bring back the old cofibean. Please. Please!

Anonymous said...

Kung papipiliin ako between Bryanboy or Cofibean, kay cofibean ako. Mas masaya dito at mas controversial! Just look at the comments here. Mas masarap basahin. Doon puro kapalstikan.

Cofibean pa rin, solid!

Anonymous said...

O my goolay! What a bunch of crapolas! I don't get it. I really don't. Why call your relatives stoofid?

Salvador Dali said...

Surreal!

Jason said...

I am working on a callcenter but I didn't find this journal offended. I've been here for a countless times now. But what can I say, I loved the guy. He wrote with passion.

Keep it up buddy. You've got me!

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Congratulations! You have won for your self eternal suffering in hell! Enjoy!

Anonymous said...

Ang cute naman pala ni cofibean. Kaso bakit tinakpan ang mata? Baka duling? Hahahahahaha!

Anonymous said...

Guys, you shouldn't take this blog seriously. I know the person behind this journal. He's a two year old kid from Elsie Gatches.

Just show him your support.

I love you Mr. Cofibean!

Peace.

Anonymous said...

konyoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Former Boy said...

Dear Sir Matt,

You have been a very naughty cheetah for the past few months. You've been branding some people names which is very bad and unbecoming of a so called "educated" person just like you. When you were still a child, I used to cuddle you and hug you at night because you were so cute that I can't help but to kiss you every now and then. And it seems that you started liking it. So every Christmas, you are looking forward to seeing me just to kiss with me. You do love French kissing. And I must admit, I took advantage of you and sodomized you. But hey, you enjoyed it. But the repercussions were really great, that you changed into something that is an exact opposite of the boy I love, kissed and enjoyed.

Well maybe that was just a mental disorder on your part since I resigned from your family and you missed me terribly.

I’m really sorry for leaving you that time without even saying my farewell.

Anyways, I am looking forward to seeing you again and stick my 9-inch dick up your ass.

I love you.

Love,
Your Former Houseboy

Anonymous said...

Who on earth will call his relatives stupid? Ciempre, stupid people din!

Anonymous said...

Funny! Really funnY! Hahahahaha!

Anonymous said...

Please go back to callcenter bashing. I love you more that way!

Anonymous said...

Bading ba si cofibean?

Anonymous said...

Now I'm happy. Really happy indeed! Ang saya-saya no?!

Anonymous said...

REALLY REMARKABLE! IN JUST TWO MONTHS PROFILE VIEWS IS 4,751 NA! AND THAT'S THE PROFILE VIEWS! JUST IMAGINE THE TRAFFIC THIS SITE IS GENERATING. THE GUY MUST REALLY BE FILTHY RICH RIGHT NOW!

Anonymous said...

Nakakaaliw naman dito.

Anonymous said...

cofibean PANGET!




cofibean BOBO!



cofibean INUTIL!



cofibean SUPOT!




cofibean TANGA!




cofibean AMPON!




cofibean ANAK NG RAPIST!





COFIBEAN anak ng NI_RAPE!

Anonymous said...

Hello? If you're so talino then you'll be talino enough to subject-verb agreement!!!

Case in point:

He have no choice but to let me run na the business dahil dami opportunists natives na always waiting for a chance to make kupit sa cash flow namin.

It's he HAS, not he HAVE!!! DUH!!!

Mystica said...

Magteacher ka na lang kaya? Hehehe.

Anonymous said...

Hello? If you're so talino then you'll be talino enough to subject-verb agreement!!!

Case in point:

He have no choice but to let me run na the business dahil dami opportunists natives na always waiting for a chance to make kupit sa cash flow namin.

It's he HAS, not he HAVE!!! DUH!!!

Herminey said...

Guys, bakit kayo papaapekto kay cofibean e obvious namang walang alam ang taong yan. That is kung tao nga sya.

Anonymous said...

Cofibean rules pa rin for life!

Anonymous said...

Gosh your so bobo no?!

Anonymous said...

The bomb ka pa rin pare! Pero bakit natigil ka na sa callcenter bashing? Dapat you should stick with that idea. Mas sikat ka doon!

To hell with the callcenter orcs.

Anonymous said...

The bomb ka pa rin pare! Pero bakit natigil ka na sa callcenter bashing? Dapat you should stick with that idea. Mas sikat ka doon!

To hell with the callcenter orcs.

Anonymous said...

go back to callcenter bashing dude.... you're better at that....

Anonymous said...

TANG NA NYO ORCS!

Anonymous said...

I was been told na nakakainis daw itong blog na ito? Pero it's the exact opposite.. It's funny kaya! Nyahahaha! Now ako na si cofibin.

Anonymous said...

Bakit post ako ng post pero hinde lumalabas? Kakainis!

Anonymous said...

Ay! Bakit moderated na itong comment box? Mas maganda sana yung dati. At least doon tuloy-tuloy ang discussion parang chatroom. Basta ba wala lang flooding. :)

Anonymous said...

:: SlumOfBeverlyHills ::

"Hay nako! u should do sumtin about ur cuzin noh its not so cool kaya, and the kabobohan of Mang Tonyo, he starting to annoy me na. If u cant fire him coz nobody chooses to live in slums din naman and you have heart din naman, why ask ur mom nalang to make bawas of his sweldo, like 50% kaya. yeah thats fair enough.
anyways hafto go na, check your blog some other time nlang.
btw whats kopita?"

Anonymous said...

yo dawg! this site is the bomba!

Anonymous said...

Its wierd. I really do not understand why you talk or write that way. Its either you stick with english or with tagalog. And dude you really seem like you really are gay! I too come from a rich family and i was raised to with values and respect for self and others. "New Rich" act the way you do. "Old Rich" act with poise and grace. Whenever I read your blog it never ceases to amaze me on how you would react to certain situations. Sometimes i think that its just a side effect from the drugs that you take to make you look good. Is it??? If you were a lot nicer when you were uglier i think people would prefer that instead of looking really good but acting and thinking horribly, dont you think??? Dont get me wrong, I too work in a Call Center and i am damn proud of it. Why you might ask..... Well atleast I work my ass off to get my own car and stay in my own place without the help of my family and thier money. So in a way I feel bad for you because you squander money that isnt yours. And If... god forbids..... that you loose all of your money.... I would not be surprised that you would just hang yourself and go to hell... Its a pity, really....

~~Shine~~

Anonymous said...

haha found your blog through a link.. hilarious! kudos pare!
other guys: CHILL!!! if you don't like it, dont read it! like his disclaimer says, go to disneyland.com

Anonymous said...

Yeah baby! Bomba talaga your site no? As in ang sarap mong bombahin ng sangkaterbang palaka sa mukha!

Yabang mo! Gago!

Anonymous said...

Yeah baby! Bomba talaga your site no? As in ang sarap mong bombahin ng sangkaterbang palaka sa mukha!

Yabang mo! Gago!

Anonymous said...

Bakit nilagyan mo pa ng takip ang ata mo cofibean? Duling ka ba?

Anonymous said...

Oh my god. You are still so GAGO. When are you gonna be dead ba????!!!! Get real man.... You got so great imaginations...Stop pretending ok. You Smart Asshole!!

Anonymous said...

sobra naman u manlait and magsalita... well, super dooper airhead ka dude! u'r not cool anymore! didn't ur parents taught u good manners!? duh! i dnt care if ur rich but i thinks it's only ur illusions coz rich people dnt act that way...! wake up daydreamer!

Anonymous said...

:: SlumOfBeverlyHills ::

"I cant stop laughing,.. yeah ~~Shine~~ maybe its the weed... arnt u sick and tired of straight English? so get of that and just enjoy it... It is hilarious kaya and has nothing to do with his being gay noh? well cofibean are u gay ba talaga? im so confuse na... uber ha. peace awt!"

IceClimbingMonkey said...

Keep on writing this way. It's hilarious. Seriously, it cracks me up!

Anonymous said...

OMG! i dont care if im one stupid bobo orc na pero i just have to ask you something... have you seen a psychologist lately????? i think there is something totally wrong with you... really.

tricia said...

it's "he has no choice but to let me run..." NOT
"he have no choice but to let me run..."
constructive criticism lang.:)

Anonymous said...

PSYCHIATRIST YOU BOBO ORC!!!!

Anonymous said...

cofibean, you are so yabang... i will make palo na your butt with my long...

Anonymous said...

Obviously, cofibean is just making yabang lang.

Anonymous said...

yap, cofibean.. meron nga syang(paris hilton) pabango (as in!) lalabas na din ung 2nd book nya, kaya abangan mo na lang... at least si paris hilton totoong mayaman! e ikaw?! i dunno....

Anonymous said...

this post made me laugh ah not to mention the wrong grammars.. hehehe.. like ur so talino ah.. like if ur so talino, u shud know how to make gawa sentences that are like grammatically correct.. duh?! hahahah.. feels weird trying to pretend that i really speak this way. :D niwey, continue being creative and hilarious. :) just edit ur write up bfore posting them please? :D

Anonymous said...

Jason said...
I am working on a callcenter but I didn't find this journal offended. I've been here for a countless times now. But what can I say, I loved the guy. He wrote with passion.

Keep it up buddy. You've got me!


Let me do some corrections on your comment. Spot the difference game.

I am working in a callcenter but i don't find this journal offensive. I've been here countless times now. But what can I say, I love the guy. He writes with passion.

Keep it up buddy. You got me !

tungaw said...

hmmm.. sa tingin mo ba pag nalaman ng lolo mo yang mga pinagsusulat mo eh maging paborito kapa kaya nya? tsktsk... may mga kaybigan kaba talaga cofibean? kung meron man sana naman maging concern sila sayo... hayz...

Saladboy said...

What I think about call centers

Fresh from school, I eagerly searched for a job that best suits me. I was trying to be independent and wanted to prove my worth! I ended up in a call center just so to be not a bum while waiting for the right job for me. My teachers say that call centers are career killers. I agree but who the hell thinks I’m going to end up here. I entered not knowing what great realizations that will soon strike me. “It will only be for six months”, I said to myself. Six months that ended up in a surprisingly two. Thank you, No bond! Love that call center. Message me if you want to know what that is!

Why I didn’t survive?

Sure I was second best in training and one of the 10 best performers (6th to be exact) out of 21 during the one month of taking calls. Take note that I was the only fresh graduate and the rest already had a call center experience (But I still wonder why the rest are Baroks!). I just couldn’t stand the future that awaits me. I didn’t need the money in the first place. Hell, the pay was good but why spend it when I have money in the first place? I still have the money in my call center stint, half of it not spent yet! I’m not rich, or maybe I am (Thanks Mom and Dad for working hard and sending me in a prestigious university and putting up a business that will secure our future). I don’t care about the night shift. I still get eight hours of sleep in the morning and I do party during my off.

So what’s the real reason?

I’m simply too good for it. I’m not a show off. I’m simply looking for experience, a chance for career growth, a way to buff my resume. However, the longer I stayed there the dumber I got.

I feel pity on those people who chose call centers instead of their previous careers. There was a girl who was a marketing manager then turned CSR Agent. But then again, I can’t blame her. She has a child to feed. The father is nowhere to be found. I salute her for having a decent job instead of none at all. But I tell you this! Call Center is a Career Killer.

If you need the money, don’t care about the night shift, love monotony and want to learn how to speak good… excellent English (AM-Way) then a Call Center Career is right for you. Apply now!

Not for me. No thanks. Not after experiencing the trauma. Better wait a career in advertising, marketing, creatives or in events…I’ll even bite an assistant position. At least I know that there is a way up the career ladder. No way for a Call Center. Money is not an issue for me, my career is.

Thank you call center for teaching me how to speak AM-way English (Hahaha, we learned that in school already) and improving our economy in someway or another. Thank you and call us back again incase you need further assistance… NOT!

Love Life, Family, Friends.

Anonymous said...

Oh god!

you know what...wala la lang!

kasi why ba you hate your cousin???

haha...kasi lahat ng mga cousin ko love ako and i love them all naman! Tinanong mo na ba sya kung love ka nya? ewhh...that's bad if not, so, you should hate him too noh...but if oo, kahit bobo sya you should be proud of having a midiocre cousin who loves you very much noh!

pero i have a friend...actually a very close fried and he is into something which will make him masaya. And like you he also hated his two sis noh...as in, sometimes nga he make sabi to us that kung pede lang daw patayin yung mga kapatid nya, papatayin nya para lahat ng mana sa kanya na mapunta! di ba, grabe sya! He is saying those words as if he doesn't love his sisters. but then, one time he someone asked him what if, one of her sister make landi na and then mabuntis? tapos sabi nya, syempre "Sasampalin ko muna sya hanggang mamatay sya bago sya makita ni mommy noh!"

so ikaw, ask ko lang sya? what if mambuntis your cousin ng isang gurl na hindi kaaya-aya ang hitsura? tapos yung gurl naghabol? haha joke lang!

bye bye...

kung like mong sagutin yung mga tanong ko...send mo na lang here>>

malibog_na_priest@yahoo.com

hahahaha~!

and sa lahat ng babasa nito

add nyo po ako sa myspace

same add.

bye bye!

Anonymous said...

Wow... You really have no mercy. No wonder why you hate people that much particularly call center agents even if they did nothing harmful against you. You even called your mom stupid??!!!

You are a psychopathic, schizophrenic, snotty jerk with zero empathy.

Anonymous said...

hahahaha i work in a call center but it's in the network part we run the center but to be honest madami talaga certified brainless sa ops bwahahaha - alphabetics

llmm said...

i love you cofibean!
from Pen Pal Asian