Saturday, July 01, 2006

Stupid Movie.


Ok pare, was really uber bored kanina so I decided to watch Superman Returns at Glorietta 4. I texted Claude and Jeff but it seemed the two were out na naman. So I called na lang the girl Claude introduced to me at Max Brenner, a couple of weeks ago. We traded number kasi before. Actually, she asked for my number pare. See pare, I'm that hot! Kaya girls are all making kulit to my friends for my number. Her looks is kinda ok naman. The 'pwede na' type. The only problem lang pare is her height. She's like an arm rest lang kasi pare. Pero I'm cool naman with it so ok na.

She replied after five rings with "Who's this?". I was tahimik lang on the other side. Shit talaga pare! Major turnoff talaga! So I made putol na lang the line. I hate kasi burara girls. Obviously she lost the card I gave her at Max Brenner. Sayang talaga pare. I gave her a chance pa naman to be with me and she blew it pa. She's bobo kasi.

Good thing my mom was out kanina so I got the chance to drive for myself without Hilariously Stoopid messing with my aura.

So yun na nga diba? I was like riding on air with my uber bilis driving and it only took me 5 minutes (which would normally take 30 minutes with Hilariously Stoopid driving) from our house to Glorietta. Can't wait na nga for Drag Racing Pinoy to reopen their site kasi I think I belong to that group. I can even do the drift na nga pare while driving pababa at Rufino towers. Eh Rufino is notorious pa naman for having the narrowest parking pababa and paakyat ng floors. Yeah pare, I'm that galing talaga at driving so there's no point na talaga in hiring stupid natives as my driver pa.

I got the last full show at cinema 2 (11 PM)... kasi all the earlier show time were all sold out na pare. So I made tambay na lang at Starbs while enjoying a cup of chino. I made no pansin na lang at the all the loser-poser orcs making lipana around the cinema floor. I made it clear that my seat is far from the masa-crowded timezone which is full of baho natives that time... probably waiting for Superman din. I focused na lang my attention to my cup of chino for the solid caffeine rush. Dami kasing attention-getters sa crowd and they are irritating my aura. Good thing bilis lang mag fly ng oras kanina...

After the movie, I was like really disappointed talaga pare because of the uber daming flaws. I mean, Superman Returns is the year's most stupid movie made for stupid people and I am the one tasked to figure that out. Really disturbing talaga pare...

1. Diba pare, Superman and Lex Luthor were of the same age lang? Diba nga friends pa sila before they became enemies. How come sa movie, Lex was portrayed as matanda na?

2. Correct me if I'm wrong pare pero I dont recall Superman and Lois Lane having sex to produce a child which is hikain pa!

3. Up to now, sumasakit pa rin my brain thinking how come nobody still can't figure out that Clark Kent is Superman provided all the people at Daily Planet are fond of detective work since most of them are journalists/reporters nga. Are they all that stupid talaga or may magic powers lang talaga the eyeglass of superman, rendering him incognito whenever he wears it.

4. What's with the kulot na bangs pare? I mean its pretty obvious naman na straight hair ni Clark sa movie tapos whenever he change into Superman na, the kulot bangs suddenly appear.

5. Superman is gay. Just notice the leg position whenever he lift his feet off the ground. Kadiri pare no?

6. Superman is laging handa pare. because he only needs to make hawi lang his clothes to reveal his costume. I mean, super lambot ba his costume for no one to notice it while at work. Specially the Superman boots which he always wear under his black shoes (?)!. The layered getup must be really init pare.

Now I know where the orcs got their style in layered clothing. Kaya naman I'll bet an arm and a leg that Superman has BO pare.

7. There was an incident sa movie pa where Lois Lane was slammed on the head by the vault's door which was made entirely out of steel. She fell pa nga unconcious sa tubig. The question is, how come she suffered no bukol? Not even minor bleeding pare. Eh it was like very lakas kaya ng pagkaka-slam on her head. Probably she's hard core pare. Internal hemorrhage in the head. Big time!

8. After an earthquake, there should be a big tidal wave. That was missing pare. I anticipated pa naman that part.

Dami pa sana pare.. pero I really have to hit the sack now. It's morning na pala. Basta, I'm giving the movie -10 out of 10 because it sucked... as in major!

Later pare.

167 comments:

Richard Quick, Millionaire said...

Here's an easy way to end poverty: GET A JOB!

That, or use any one of the 101 ways to get rich posted at richardquick.blogspot.com

Anyone can get rich. Anyone.

btw... great blog! What does it say?

Richard Quick, Esq.
Founder
National Association for the Advancement of Wealthy People

Anonymous said...

wow pare.. ive waited so long for your post pare.. damn!

Anonymous said...

Wow dude.. ur so freakin' tanga..
eh bakit pa siya naging superman returns kung super pareho ng story sa mga unang superman movies... explain mo nga kung bakit namatay si cyclops at professor x sa Xmen3 kasi sa cartoon series eh inde ganun... or sa mga comics kaya..
critics ka jan.. sa tingin mo ba papanoorin yan ng tao kung alang twist? --- hay naku....

ur so tanga naman.. hehehe.. bka kasi smallville lang ang pinapanood mo kaya mo pinipilit na magkasing tanda sila ni clark.. ay naku.. think naman mabuti.. hehehe..
pero sige, kun saan ka masaya.. sige... go ahead...

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

you're SO right. i lov eyour review of superman returns. see? that's why i dont wanna watch the movie eh.

and uhmm, please proofread. :)

Anonymous said...

To the guy who posted this --->

capslock said...


bakit.. magkano ba talaga?
Mas malaki ba sa inyo?
Ang mga newly grad sumusweldo ng doble sa regular na trabaho...
bkit di nio aminin.. totoo iyon...
kasi ayaw nio masapawan...
sige, masaya kayo jan.. kaya bahala kayo... pero wag nio masamain laha ng sinasabi ng mga call center peeps.. kasi di lahat tanga at di lahat pulubi!



Don't tell me I didn't warn you. Now, if you're asking how much, I will try to be very modest about it. Let's just say that your meager income is a "piggy-bank savings" compared to mine (and yes, I'm being modest with that description). Or better yet, your whole month's untaxed income (to be fair, I would just say 20-30K) would just be half of my monthly income tax. Now, add a $2500/month additional allowance (my company provides that) for food and whatever expenses I may have, and you'll understand what I mean. If you don't believe me, then post your email and I'll give you a breakdown (and make you drool some more). Hell, I'll even tell you who I am, where I work, and what position I have in that company.

Given the monthly expenses we have in this country, your salary would not be enough to get you through the month. The public transportation fare and food expenses would eat up almost 3/4th of your net income. What's funny is, given this situation, you still try hard to buy those flashy gadgets and go to classy places just to be noticed or look popular. I would suggest that you save your extra income for your future.

Now is that what you call "nasasapawan"? The point is : you have no right to flaunt your salary figures just because you have a slightly higher income than those so-called (and unjustly paid) regular employees who actually make up half of the working class. Actually, these people (bank employees, accountants, process analysts, etc.) are the ones who should be paid better than you. Honestly, your job does not require enough brain power to be paid well enough (well, compared to the accountants and analysts). Anyone can learn to speak in English given the right training. The things that you are instructing your (dumb) callers can be learned in school (yes finding what's wrong with your PC) only if you listened or observed carefully.

Now, here's my point : the main essence of this site is "live by your means" and "act accordingly". It is not appropriate that you will use the English language (in a bit of a loud manner) in a public place where almost everyone speaks in Tagalog, just to be noticed. Or use your PhP 20-35K cellphone inside a public transportation (and feel proud deep inside because people are admiring your snazzy cellphone). Also, it's not appropriate that you'll be seen buying a PhP 120 coffee, and eating a PhP 80 cake after eating a PhP 30-50 lunch or dinner bought from your local canteen.

I hope I got the point across your puny brain. Dumbass!


--------------------

Ang yayabang nyo pareho mga pakshet kayo. Kaya hindi umunlad ang Pilipinas ay dahil sa mga puro hanging tulad nyo. Magtrabaho na nga lang kayo! Mga hambog e baka pareho lang kayong crew ng Jollibee! Pakshet!

patay said...

AHAHAHAHA kase naman dapat talaga sa mga putanginang nag ttrabaho sa call center eh sunugin na, saksakan kase ng yabang ang mga putangina, akala mo mayaman sabay panay pa ang english sa tricycle, feeling nila they are better sa ibang tao dahil mas mataas ang mga sweldo nila, pinagmamalakai nila masyado yun samantalang hindi nga nila ginagamit utak nila sa trabaho nila, hay puta kawawa naman mga teacher natin, accountant etc, sila nag susuffer tapos feeling ng iba mas mataas na sila nakapagtrabaho lang sila sa building, putangina talaga ng mga nag ttrabaho sa call center, pakshet kayong lahat tangina nyo!!! mag kantutatn na lang kayo tutal parepareho naman kayong pangit at posers!!!

patay.blogspot.com

Gener said...

waw! buti naman nagupdate na! ahihi ang haba pa! whahaah...galing mo talaga kaya mo magdrive ng mabilis sa Rufino towers

teepsee said...

okay 'to ah, ten out of ten because it sucked. hahaha!

pare, more! :D

Krayola said...

Hay nako pare, alam mo you're right. Fashion icon talaga ng mga jologistas si Superman. I hope Rexona gives libre deodorants to the masa para they don't make sagabal to us diba. Hanggang today issue pa ba the call center peeps? Hay nako, I'm beginning to hate them na tuloy lalo na yung babaeng CC peep na nakatabi ko sa FX. So lakas ng loob kumanta in English kasi rap 'yung pinapakinggan niya to her pipitsuging am/fm player.

Anonymous said...

good points cofibean! hear! hear!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
To the guy who posted this --->

capslock said...


bakit.. magkano ba talaga?
Mas malaki ba sa inyo?
Ang mga newly grad sumusweldo ng doble sa regular na trabaho...
bkit di nio aminin.. totoo iyon...
kasi ayaw nio masapawan...
sige, masaya kayo jan.. kaya bahala kayo... pero wag nio masamain laha ng sinasabi ng mga call center peeps.. kasi di lahat tanga at di lahat pulubi!


Don't tell me I didn't warn you. Now, if you're asking how much, I will try to be very modest about it. Let's just say that your meager income is a "piggy-bank savings" compared to mine (and yes, I'm being modest with that description). Or better yet, your whole month's untaxed income (to be fair, I would just say 20-30K) would just be half of my monthly income tax. Now, add a $2500/month additional allowance (my company provides that) for food and whatever expenses I may have, and you'll understand what I mean. If you don't believe me, then post your email and I'll give you a breakdown (and make you drool some more). Hell, I'll even tell you who I am, where I work, and what position I have in that company.

Given the monthly expenses we have in this country, your salary would not be enough to get you through the month. The public transportation fare and food expenses would eat up almost 3/4th of your net income. What's funny is, given this situation, you still try hard to buy those flashy gadgets and go to classy places just to be noticed or look popular. I would suggest that you save your extra income for your future.

Now is that what you call "nasasapawan"? The point is : you have no right to flaunt your salary figures just because you have a slightly higher income than those so-called (and unjustly paid) regular employees who actually make up half of the working class. Actually, these people (bank employees, accountants, process analysts, etc.) are the ones who should be paid better than you. Honestly, your job does not require enough brain power to be paid well enough (well, compared to the accountants and analysts). Anyone can learn to speak in English given the right training. The things that you are instructing your (dumb) callers can be learned in school (yes finding what's wrong with your PC) only if you listened or observed carefully.

Now, here's my point : the main essence of this site is "live by your means" and "act accordingly". It is not appropriate that you will use the English language (in a bit of a loud manner) in a public place where almost everyone speaks in Tagalog, just to be noticed. Or use your PhP 20-35K cellphone inside a public transportation (and feel proud deep inside because people are admiring your snazzy cellphone). Also, it's not appropriate that you'll be seen buying a PhP 120 coffee, and eating a PhP 80 cake after eating a PhP 30-50 lunch or dinner bought from your local canteen.

I hope I got the point across your puny brain. Dumbass!

--------------------

Ang yayabang nyo pareho mga pakshet kayo. Kaya hindi umunlad ang Pilipinas ay dahil sa mga puro hanging tulad nyo. Magtrabaho na nga lang kayo! Mga hambog e baka pareho lang kayong crew ng Jollibee! Pakshet!

July 01, 2006 8:34 PM

****************************
****************************

TAMA KA JAN... YABANG TALAGA.. MAY BREAKDOWN PA... PAKSHET TALAGA UNG NGYAYABANG NG MGA INCOME NILA... BREAKDOWN-NIN MO MUKHA MO!!!
FUCK you!

Anonymous said...

Jologs si superman?
Potah. Eh anong tawag mo sa Captain Barbel? Super halata naman na kinopya ang Smallville. Yun ang jologs! Tapos ang costume pa ay parang sa PLDT commercial. Ang laki ng katawan pero ang liit ng ulo... hahahahaha.. un ang POTANG JOLOGS!

jeeper said...

I found this site and was told that is coño-tic.

Nice site, it kinda reflects a lot of people's perspectives about stuff. I do agree with a commentor when he said that: pinipilit na magkasing tanda sila ni clark, I do not mean it in the same derogatory manner as the one who has said that. Lex is older than Superman. Even in Smallville, Lex is older than Clark, if you haven't noiced.

@patay: I detest you generalizing that all call center agents are stupid. Obviously, naiinggit ka lang. Nagta-trabaho ako sa call center para sa pag-aaral ko, part-time student ako at Technical Support Representative sa isang IT firm na nag-to-troubleshoot. Di ko lam sa ibang LOB pero kailangan ng utak sa trabaho namin kasi kailangan well-rounded ka sa technical know-how. Di lahat kami maarte at tanga.

Keep your thought to yourself kung di mo alam ang pinagsasabi mo, para di ka magmukhang tanga.

Nakikidaan lang, di ako makatiis.

Anonymous said...

you say your so gwapo pare.. post a picture nman of you.. so we can admire you pare.

lips said...

the fuck pare you're so funny talaga! uber kadire talaga the movie no? tapos there were noisy call center shits in the cinema. kakasira talaga ng aura!

blanc said...

you poor unforunate soul, cofibean.
di ako magugulat kung isang araw e bubulagta ka na lang dahil may umupa ng sniper na papatay sayo. tsk.
superman is a good movie. nobody twisted your arm to watch it.
too bad that even if you're rich, you wont -- will never -- be able to get a life. because it wont be sold anywhere.

Casey said...

Sana you invited me to watch with you Cofibean...hay!

scroll lock said...

To the moron who hides behind an anonymous handle

Ang yayabang nyo pareho mga pakshet kayo. Kaya hindi umunlad ang Pilipinas ay dahil sa mga puro hanging tulad nyo. Magtrabaho na nga lang kayo! Mga hambog e baka pareho lang kayong crew ng Jollibee! Pakshet!

This is an example of a guy who's drooling while reading the comment. You'll never reach that kind of status even in a million years. I've achieved it at 22. So, dream on kid, because dreaming is the only thing you could do. Besides, it's free, and we all know you guys always want to acquire all the freebies you could get.

Judging by your comment, you seem to think that you are better than everyone else. Try reading your comment and see how judgemental you are (I am too, but at least I'm not as stupid as you). By the looks of it, you are implying that fastfood attendants are people with lowly job. You really are a dumb ass!

Actually, YOU people are the reason this country will never progress, unless maybe you gather all the social climbers, wannabes and "jologs" in a major gathering and bomb the place. You take critism so personally and blame everything on everyone except yourselves. Try looking at yourself for a change and see what's wrong. Also, you always tend to compete (deep inside) with others by acquiring trendy and cool gadgets that you couldn't even afford, unless you try eating cup noodles for 8 months. Try to improve your lives, and mind you, a snazy cellphone, an iPod, or anything new is not a basis of your status. It just proves how shallow you are.

"Live by your means" and "Act accordingly" was my message, enveloped in a bit of sarcastic, but truthful comment. Unfortunately, your numb brain only picked up the sarcastic comment without digesting the main essence.

My suggestion : Kill yourself. People like you should not be allowed to multiply, you'll just destroy this country. Moron!

Anonymous said...

kakatawa naman mga peeps na may negative comments dito. DONT YOU GUYS STILL GET IT? for pete's sake, take the blog for its entertainment value. havent you heard of a character named doña buding? jeez.

Anonymous said...

yah,hindi naman lahat ng call center agent eh mayayabang at bobo. meron din naman talagang may may alam. pero meron talagang putanginang yan.. sobrang yabang!! at ang akala nila eh dahil sa call center ng ttrabaho mga punyeta sila eh kala mo kung sino na. leche!

tinaii said...

haha. i love this blog. ^^

Anonymous said...

Wow naman the rating! negative 10 over ten. Hehehe.

Anonymous said...

You sound more like a 'native' to me XD

meowy said...

You sound more like a 'native' to me :3

rai said...

cofibean, ikaw rin ba si caffeinerush? nako..baka gumaya ka lang tsk tsk..

Anonymous said...

cofibean, ikaw rin ba si caffeinerush? nako..baka gumaya ka lang tsk tsk..

check their email, pareho lang.

Anonymous said...

@sa lahat ng walang utak

majority ng mga tao ngayon walang utak. naiinggit? sa isang call center agent? putang ina hindi ko kailangan mainggit sa mga mayayabang na nilalang. putang ina kung mag cocomment kayo d2 sa blog ni cofibean, pag isipan nyo muna mga sasabihin nyo.

tangina sasakay ka ng jeep at ilalabas mo ung nokia n90 mo? tanginang kabobohan yan. punta ka d2 sa bahay ko at pakikitaan kita ng "treasury note" na sigurado akong di mo pa nkikita sa buong buhay mo. para malaman mong di ka dapat magyabang.

tangina, english ka ng english, kahit sa jeep? alam mo ba ung saying na: "when u r in rome, do what d romans do". punta ka d2 at kausapin mo ng spanish ang dad ko, para mag dugo ang ilong mo.

to cofibean: keep it up

Anonymous said...

isa kang social mountaineer. have you ever been to everest? i doubt it. shempre hnde pa. hahahaha.

love this blog pare. :)

Nicky said...

To scroll lock:

Pakshet ka pare. Stop using your high faluting words to me. Obviously, gumamit ka ng dictionary and a grammar book to sonstruct those sentences. Idiot!

Anonymous said...

TANG-INA KANG HAYUP KA! ANG GANDA-GANDA NG SUPERMAN AY SINISIRAAN MO! E KUNG IHAMBALOS KO KAYA ANG BANGKONG INUUPUAN KO SA NGALA-NGALA MONG TANGINA KA! SIGURO INGGIT KA LANG DAHIL BITTER KA AT PANGET! PUNYETA KA! SINIRA MO ARAW KO!!!! SHET KA! BAKLA!

Anonymous said...

SA LAHAT NG SUMUSUPORTA SA PATHETIC NA BLOG NA ITO, MAMATAY NA KAYONG LAHAT. WALA KAYONG WENTA TULAD NG TAO SA LIKOD NG BLOG NA ITO. PAKSHET KAYONG LAHAT! DAPAT SA INYO AY NILALAGAY SA SAKO AT SABAY-SABAY NA SINISILABAN NG BUHAY! SINGBAHO KAYO NG MALANSANG ISDA! PARA KAYONG HINDI MGA PILIPINO. MGA HUNYANGO!!! HUNYANGO KAYONG LAHAT! LUMAYAS KAYO DITO SA PINAS. ISAMA NYO ANG TANGA AT BOBONG COFIBEAN NA TO! SHET! PINAPAHAYBLAD NYOKO! TANGINA TALAGA! TANGINA NYONG LAHAT!

Anonymous said...

i agree. superman is sooooooooooo gay

jepoi said...

hahahaha... this blog is better than narnia or middle earth or any other fictional place. hehehehe.

Anonymous said...

kami po? malansang isda?

Dr. Jose Rizal, ikaw po ba yan? LOL

sarcastic said...

those who hate this blog should just leave.. i can't understand why you keep commenting.. probably because you like the attention your getting from all the trash you're saying.. anyways, it's "cofibean's" blog.. who cares what, who, and how he writes..

Anonymous said...

Ang bobo ng author ng blog na ito. Did he know that the events in Smallville were all non-canon, according to DC (in case you didn't know, the publishers of Superman series).

IonFluxh said...

you must be so inquisitive to have noticed all those plot holes. too bad you just seem dumber than what everyone else thinks. a typical filipino dude trying to overlook the fact that he is in a 3rd world country.

scroll lock said...

To that stupid piece of crap named nicky :

To scroll lock:

Pakshet ka pare. Stop using your high faluting words to me. Obviously, gumamit ka ng dictionary and a grammar book to sonstruct those sentences. Idiot!



Oh, so the piece of crap is affected by my comment! How sad! Does it hurt? Did you follow my advice? So why are you still alive?

Well, it just shows that you belong to the small percentage of the Filipinos who exist today : the type who pulls down other people to raise themselves. "Talanka Mentality" is the correct term, I think. I don't know where you got even the idea of someone using the dictionary / grammar checker to put a comment in the internet. Or maybe you've been doing it before? I guess you did, you're grammar is starting to improve. Good for you!

I'm sorry to tell you but I've learned proper English in school, so I have no problem reading, writing or speaking in English, and most especially in Tagalog.

Now, you say "pakshet"? How much more could you sink to that pile of mud you are in. I think it's written as "Fuck Shit!", dumbass!

Honestly, I'm beginning to wonder if you could really read. Or if you could read, maybe you could not digest the content. Try reading the content first and try to understand its meaning. Dipshit!

So, if you understood what I've commented before, I guess you'll have to follow my advice. It would do all of us a great favor and rid this country of people like you, the source of Poverty and Ignorance.

Also, please get off the internet, you're just a waste of precious bandwidth.

scroll lock said...

SA LAHAT NG SUMUSUPORTA SA PATHETIC NA BLOG NA ITO, MAMATAY NA KAYONG LAHAT. WALA KAYONG WENTA TULAD NG TAO SA LIKOD NG BLOG NA ITO. PAKSHET KAYONG LAHAT! DAPAT SA INYO AY NILALAGAY SA SAKO AT SABAY-SABAY NA SINISILABAN NG BUHAY! SINGBAHO KAYO NG MALANSANG ISDA! PARA KAYONG HINDI MGA PILIPINO. MGA HUNYANGO!!! HUNYANGO KAYONG LAHAT! LUMAYAS KAYO DITO SA PINAS. ISAMA NYO ANG TANGA AT BOBONG COFIBEAN NA TO! SHET! PINAPAHAYBLAD NYOKO! TANGINA TALAGA! TANGINA NYONG LAHAT!


Another one of 'em KSP's. Don't worry, I think this will be the last comment about you. At least someone noticed you, you pathetic little soul.

scroll lock said...

To Mr. Dork,

TAMA KA JAN... YABANG TALAGA.. MAY BREAKDOWN PA... PAKSHET TALAGA UNG NGYAYABANG NG MGA INCOME NILA... BREAKDOWN-NIN MO MUKHA MO!!!
FUCK you!


Envious? Drooling? I guess that's because people of your kind started it. It was given to you, and now you detest it. How stupid could you get? Get off the internet, you moron!

Anonymous said...

Scroll lock. OA kang tang-ina ka! Suntukan na lang pare. Sobra yabang mo. Bading ka ata.

scroll lock said...

To : Moron

Scroll lock. OA kang tang-ina ka! Suntukan na lang pare. Sobra yabang mo. Bading ka ata.

Pissed off, dumbass? It just shows how stupid you are. A simple message could bring out the idiot in you. Keep that up! I'm wondering how you could even type your comments given a brain as small as yours. So you'll just resort to the only way a Neanderthal deals with a situation, brute force. Damn you're really stupid. Also, a real is someone who has the ability to control his temper given a situation. Well, I think that's not one of your qualities, caveman! Good luck on your hunting trip!

Anonymous said...

ive been reading through this blog for quite sometime now.. ngaun lng ako nagkatime na magcomment

hmmm..

points of clarification
1. what's the deal with hating people from callcenter. i work at a callcenter while i take my MBA in the morning, maraming akong coworkers dito some of them are doctors and engineers from countries like india and romania. Given that some of them are OA nga, but its thier personality, its just a job ika nga.

2. cofibean must be chinese, kasi in context, when chinese ppl say "huanna" it literally means native or katutubo like what he keeps blogging about.

3. aura? anu un? mood siguro gets ko pa.. pero aura?

wla nakong maisip pa..ive got to cook my lunch for school+work :D

but overall, this blog is pretty entertaining after you get used to all the pare, aura and the conyo undertones :D

its his blog anyway :D

keep up, its a fun read

ciao

The Big C said...

"cofibean must be chinese, kasi in context, when chinese ppl say "huanna" it literally means native or katutubo like what he keeps blogging about."

--> It doesn't mean that he said some random chinese word that he must be chinese. It doesn't also mean that he's conyo, either. It's ambiguous.

"aura? anu un? mood siguro gets ko pa.. pero aura?"

--> Aura: "In New Age belief, Aura refers to the energy field emanating from the surface of a person or object. This emanation is visualized as an outline of cascading color and may be held to represent soul vibrations, chakric emergence, or a reflection of surrounding energy fields. Auras may be viewed by the naked eye, though some psychics, like Edgar Cayce, believe this ability weakens with age. Focused training may improve one's ability to see auras. Layers of aura are separate and distinct yet connected to all the remaining layers. In the books of Carlos Castaneda auras are referred to as luminous cocoons." - Wikipedia.

"Be silent always when you doubt your sense."- Alexander Pope.

Anonymous said...

panalo!

Anonymous said...

superman=fiction

ok?

Anonymous said...

aura is for faggots.

Asmodeus said...

Actaully, superman really is disappointing. Ang ganda na nga ng effects nila sobrang kulang naman sa imagination. Eh, puro karga at buhat lang naman ginawa nya mostly.
Sinayang ko lang pera ko. So stupidly done, this film. Well, what do you expect from someone who wears his briefs outside naman di ba? Haha!

Beckay said...

yeah, clark and lex are of the same age, but dont u know the theory of relativity? akala ko pa naman matalino ka? accdg to that theory two person at the same age, one sent to space and the other keft here on earth, pag balik nung isa earth, mas bata siya tingnan.. hmmm... pero u make me hook tlaga sa blog mo.. hehe

~rexie said...

nice review on that.haha. i agree.. :) waaa nakakaloko ung russian translation mo ah. lol :D

Marie said...

ha ha ha!!!

I enjoyed reading this! Really.

:)

jepoi said...

nakalimutan ko lang dagdag yung Terabithia. fictional na place din yun hehehehe. post ka pa para masaya dali! ang daming apektado eh hahahahaha... tawa lang ng tawa!!!

Chinita said...

Hi scroll lock. Pwede makipag textmate? Post mo naman number mo. 27/F/Makati/Chinita/Sexy at Malaki Boobs.

Anonymous said...

why dont you comment on tokyo drift? and comment on the girls here in the philippines with their uber so arte gestures and pakipot?

i noticed in superman that where does he put his cape?

btw, im correcting you on superman, lois and clark made sex in the arctic with the last movie with christopher reeves ^^

more power.. your hella funny PARE

Anonymous said...

do you really know what a "Disclaimer" is? Grab a dictionary! and better update your blog.

Macky said...

Dear Cofibean,

Sinabihan ka lang na 'gay' yung previous post mo, nag-over-compensate ka naman ngayon with the gay bashing.

Kaya nga binigyan ng anak si Superman sa movie para hindi na siya mapaghalataang bading.

IMHO, what this blog needs is more about the character's "love life." Tama si Mother Lily. It would be fun and interesting to know how the Cofibean character will deal with things like falling in love or even heartbreak (though I believe na-cover mo na ito sa previous entries mo, kaso you sound bitter there because the girl married someone else). Just my 2 cents.

Anonymous said...

"It doesn't mean that he said some random chinese word that he must be chinese. It doesn't also mean that he's conyo, either. It's ambiguous."

- actually he's never really mentioned any chinese word at all, i was simply referrring to his using katutubo/native in describe his drivers/household help. when he says "katutubo maid" he might be saying "huanna po" which literally translates to native girl/lady etc etc


"Aura: "In New Age belief, Aura refers to the energy field emanating from the surface of a person or object. This emanation is visualized as an outline of cascading color and may be held to represent soul vibrations, chakric emergence, or a reflection of surrounding energy fields. Auras may be viewed by the naked eye, though some psychics, like Edgar Cayce, believe this ability weakens with age. Focused training may improve one's ability to see auras. Layers of aura are separate and distinct yet connected to all the remaining layers. In the books of Carlos Castaneda auras are referred to as luminous cocoons." - Wikipedia."

- thank you for the wikipedia definition of "Aura" but i do know how to use the internet or a dictionary for that matter. What i was actually asking is why he keeps using aura, i find it a bit weird and all specially coming from a guy.

Anywho i'm babbling i guess, must be the coffee talking coz right now i think my brains in back taking its well needed rest

ciao

Anonymous said...

what a ridiculous blog! You're more of a native because you're an uneducated little bastard. You're one of those barbaric bloggers around. Namecalling and insulting are the only talents you have there. The name yourself fits you, cofibean. Your brain is just the size of a coffee bean. I do hope you're a different person in the real life, because if you do act like this one, you're just the asshole here not the people around.

saisho said...

Cool blog. Had a fun time reading the entries.

gorgeous said...

cofibean nde naman po based sa smallville yung superman returns noh, you're so tanga talaga lolz

gorgeous said...

and i dont mean to emphasize ur katangahan cofibean ah, lex is much older than clark in smallville...teenager pa po si clark sa smallville while lex is 20+ or 30+ na dun(he's been running na nga their corporation diba duh...)

Anonymous said...

oh. so you enabled comment moderation? are you scared of people seeing how many people hate your blog? awww. poor you.

I just want to tell you how famous your blog is. Lots of people are linking your site in their blogs describing it as a sucker's blog.

And I agree to what one of the people who commented on your blog. You brain has the size of a coffeebean. But I guess it's smaller.

LOSER! said...

Suicide Pare!

Anonymous said...

nice blog! im so aliw tlga to read your blog... great job... continue critisizing..wahahaha!

Anonymous said...

wahh...

i can't believe pumapatol kayo sa mga ganitong klaseng blog...

... at ginagaya nyo pa ...

haha, napaka pathetic!

Joey said...

Tang-ina pare. Alam ko na bago ko basahin ang blog mo ay magaling akong magsalita ng English. Pero ngayon parang nabobobo ako. Shet! Kaazar!

Anonymous said...

Wow! Ang galing naman ng review sa superman. Balak ko sanang manood kaso you spoiled na the fun of anticipation. Isa-save ko na na lang pera ko. Thanx uber much.

Anonymous said...

Ito ang pinakawalang kwentang blog na nabasa ko. Isara mo na ito gago ka. Kung hindi ipapupulis kitang hayup ka.

Anonymous said...

Sa tingin ko ay hindi totoong tao si cofibean. Kasi walang photos syang pinopost. Sana magpakita ka naman ng picture para naman maniwala kami sa mga pinagsasabi mo. Nakakasuspense kasi e. Parang koreanovela. Please update more!

Anonymous said...

Ay wala pang update? Been dying to read your next blog pare. As in!

Pol said...

TANG-INA KA! TITI MO MAY ASIN! TUBUAN SANA NG IPEN YAGBOLS MONG BWAKANANGINA KA!

Anonymous said...

Gosh! I never thought that some glitterati like you would ever write some degrading blog like these. You have no write to bash callcenter people because we are earning our leaving the decent way. If you have any problem with that keep this blog to yourself. You're a waste! We callcenter agents rulez! And you sucks!

Anonymous said...

Cofibean, bakit wala pa yung ibang comments ko? been commenting for 48 years now? Kindly approve naman. Pls.

Anonymous said...

Korek ka jan! Superman sucks! Kaya nga antay ko ang Spiderman 3. At least si Spiderman ay makatotohanan pare. Meron nga akong naimbentong sapot mula sa pinaghalo-halong chemicals. Kaya antayin mo na lang ako sa bubungan ng bahay nyo. Sasaputan kitang gago ka para mamatay ka na. Peace.

Arvin said...

Nice blag pare. Sana naglagay ka ng chatroom dito where we can bash you naman. Lagi na lang kami ang tinitira mo. Baka gusto mong matira sa pwet.

Anonymous said...

Bakla ka ba cofi? Bakit ganyan ka magsalita? Nakakahilo ang journal mo. Nagsayang lang ako ng oras ko dito sa internet cafe. Punyeta!

Anonymous said...

Mas masarap pang tumae kesa magbasa ng blog mo. Isa kang bading! Salot! Salot! Salot kaaaaa! Tangina ka! Mamatay ka na!

Mayor said...

HOY! PUKING INA KA! PAG HINDI MO ITINBIGIL ITONG BLOG MO, IPAPASARA KO ITO! BAKA HINDI MO AKO KILALA! KAYA KONG BAYARAN ANG BUHAY MO. ISA KA LANG KULANGOT KUMPARA SA YAMAN KO. KAYA KUNG AKO SAYO AY TITIGIL NAKO SA PINAG GAGAWA MONG KABULASTUGAN. BINABALAAN NA KITA! MAG-INGAT...

Anonymous said...

Cofi, please update more often.

Anonymous said...

Pano ba maglagay ng picture dito sa comment box? Please post naman. Kasi yung iba merong picture. Bakit saken wala?

Mario said...

Shit ka! Isa kang hindut! Mukha kang hindut! Malamang hinihindut ka lagi kaya ganyan utak mo. Filipino ka rin pow kaya please lang tigilan ako!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Haller? Ang tanga-tanga mo naman. Masyado mong nilait ang superman eh hindi naman totoo mga sinasabi mo. I've watched the movie myself pero wala akong nakita sa mga reviews mo.

Anonymous said...

Kaaliw! Two thumbs up pare! I heart you!!!! Pakiss naman.

Anonymous said...

this blog is hilarious! lol..i agree about some of the flaws mentioned esp. number 7. And Number 6 is really funny! LOL!

Anonymous said...

As an artist too, I do appreciate this blog. It's one hell creative. Cofibean, I think, is a fictitious character. This one is a good example of Mao Tse Tung's principle of the more you hate a person, the more you will remember him, right? You're a great writer hiding yourself in this asshole's penname cofibean. If you are real with this, i'm gonna kick your ass, but if this is for art's sake, kudos to you!

Anonymous said...

best way to describe your blog:
no sense at all... eventhough people made comments to your blog, its nothing.
dirty geezer

Jeffrey Royce Panit said...

haha!!! the hell talaga pare the movie no? i've watched it in powerplant mall and your right... the movie is uber pangit to the max talaga pare...

i would rather watch some tagalog loser korny pinoy movie that watching this superman bullshiT...

haha..
you rock pare!

Chauvinist-ah! said...

smart ka nga, pare. i'm smarter kasi hindi ako nanood. kasi nga totoo naman mukha ngang baklita yung buhok. nakakabadtrip tapos andaming kabalbalan.

Anonymous said...

Ang tingin ko sa mga nagko-comment dito sa blog na ito... walang life.

Ngi... isa na pala ako doon.

But seriously, I don't get why many people are still vexed by this blog when 1) there's a disclaimer 2) it's obviously a farce 3) I have no number three.

Jologs/orcs lang ang di nakakaintindi sa blog na ito. Bobo na talaga ang mga Pilipino. Kaya nga kinikilabutan ako every time I hear "Pinoy Ako" -- di ko ma-take ang IQ ng average Filipino -- epekto siguro ito ng walang makain, i.e. malnutrition.

Bronzi said...

Sabi ng teacher ko, a person's job is a person's pride. Kaya huwag daw aatakehin ang trabaho ng isang tao kahit na ito'y hamak lamang.

Kaya siguro maraming may hate kay Cofibean kasi maraming call center agents... na ma-pride.

Mga pareng call center agents, take every bit of word from Cofibean with a grain of salt na lang, and if that doesn't work add ka ng ibuprufen. You know naman na this site is kalokohan lamang.

Sa mga katsokaran na man diyan sa kanto, aba'y maghanap kayo ng trabaho at galingan niyo sa school nang maiangat niyo ang mga sarili niyo at huwag na lang umasa sa mga biyaya ng mga pulitiko.

At sa mga nagbabasa ngayon ng comment na ito, aba, wala na ba kayong ibang magawa sa mga buhay niyo at mag-abang sa susunod na entry ni Cofibean?

IonFluxh said...

Cofibean why dont you post more than twice in one month?

Anonymous said...

Mr. Cofi, approve mo naman yung comments ko. Kasi hanggang ngayon ay wala pa rin. Pinagmamalaki pa naman kita sa mga friends ko. Please lang po. Thanx in advance.

shierwincathydarwintina said...

..But cofibean is a call center agent.

babaero said...

orxz nga naman mga nagagalit...tsk, tsk, tsk, bakit ba kayo nagagagagagagagagalit kay cofibean? natatamaan kayo no? siguro kayo yung mga nasa call centre, theatre, at starbucks?

i-enjoy niyo ang blog. isa lang to...it's even better than bryanboy's. haha.

pj said...

hahaha... i enjoyed reading your blog pare... super enjoy din reading all the comments coz it confirms na uber dami talaga ang mga bobo orcs bwahahaha....

hope to read more uber from you pare... lolz

caffein said...

NATATAWA AKO SA'YO COFIBEAN...

AMG GALING MO TALAGANG MAGPATAWA!!!

caffein said...

no... mali ang conception ng mga pinoy na dapat maging employees lang para ma-solve ang poverty.

my goodness, we have to be employers, not employees! entrepreneurs para mas successful.

ang problema kasi sa atin, wala tayong patience.

Aktibista said...

KUNG DI BA NAMAN KAYO MGA KUPAL E! PLEASE STOP FEEDING THE TROLL. MAS NAGCOCOMMENT TAYO DITO AY MAS MAGLALAGAY NG POSTING NA VERY DEGRADING ANG HAYUP NA COFIBEAN NA ITO.

PARE-PAREHO TAYONG PILIPINO. WALANG MATAAS AT MABABA. KAYA KUNG AKO SA INYO AY PAGTULUNGAN NATING IBOYCOT ANG ANIMAL NA ITO. ANG SINUMANG MAG-COMMENT AY PANGET!

SUNLONG PILIPINO! YEAR 2006 NA! TIGILAN NA ANG BULOK NA PANINIWALA. PANAHON NA NG PAGBABAGO!

AT SA LAHAT NG SUMUSUPORTA KAY COFIBEAN, ITO LANG ANG MASASABI KO...

TANG-INA NYONG LAHAT!

gret said...

some people are actually hating you hahaha. i believe you are just a creative writer and so much effective.

bianco said...

"KUNG DI BA NAMAN KAYO MGA KUPAL E! PLEASE STOP FEEDING THE TROLL. MAS NAGCOCOMMENT TAYO DITO AY MAS MAGLALAGAY NG POSTING NA VERY DEGRADING ANG HAYUP NA COFIBEAN NA ITO.

PARE-PAREHO TAYONG PILIPINO. WALANG MATAAS AT MABABA. KAYA KUNG AKO SA INYO AY PAGTULUNGAN NATING IBOYCOT ANG ANIMAL NA ITO. ANG SINUMANG MAG-COMMENT AY PANGET!

SUNLONG PILIPINO! YEAR 2006 NA! TIGILAN NA ANG BULOK NA PANINIWALA. PANAHON NA NG PAGBABAGO!

AT SA LAHAT NG SUMUSUPORTA KAY COFIBEAN, ITO LANG ANG MASASABI KO...

TANG-INA NYONG LAHAT!"


Grabe u what ur just pantay w/ cofibean noh? Ur making patol kaya ur on the same level. Anyways what does "SUNLONG" mean and please press first the "caps lock button" before typing ur comment and please dont use the name "aktibista", it reminds me of those jologs who march to mendiola just to have a libreng shower from the policemen. Anyways ur "pantay-pantay" philosophy is so unreal because everybody has different strengths and weaknesses.

piercedclit said...

fiction nga e. kung pinagduduldulan mo na madaming flaws ang palabas,am sure critic ka ng kahit anong science fiction films.

banas ka din siguro sa xmen the movie dahil wala naman taong nakakatagos sa dingding, wala naman taong blue ang kulay, wala namang psychic na nakakapagpagalaw ng kotse. wala naman taong magnet na nakakapagpagalaw ng tulay.

nanood ka ba ng superman dahil akala mo true-to-life story yon?

ambobo mo gago.

Loosing all my SenseX... Mysteries Deep within Me said...

PUTA RIN ANG INA MO!!!

Anonymous said...

mostly ng mga taong nagcocomment dito masyadong OA...dont get me wrong guys, pero kung matured na kayo & all that...just keep your comments to yourself diba?!...im not saying din na masamang magcomment dito...ok lng naman eh pero not sobra with all the profanity & stuff...know what i mean!?...kind of disturbing lang kasi nagkakaaway kayo dahil lang sa blog na toh...why not waste your energy doing something fun instead of ruining your days arguing with someone you dont even know over the internet?!...so cool it ok?!...


i.c

ashley said...

Grabe hirap magcomment.. takes time sa scrollbar ko sa haba ng comments LOL.. I'm wondering how you feel about all these comments.. overwhelmed? Asar? Well, basta i really enjoy your blog, pare.. It really entertains me..

To all of you hating this blog:

Find another site that will basically suit your preference.. No one actually asks you to read his posts over and over again.. Or maybe, gawa kayo sarili nyong blog.. dun nyo pagmumurahin si Cofibean.. not here.. yes, its a comment box.. pero naman.. state your comments about the topic.. not yung puro mura.. nakakasira ng mata mga mura nyo.

To Cofibean:

Keep it up, pare.. you really make my net surfing quite an exciting day kse i'm looking forward into reading your posts..

Btw.. super man really stinks.. :(

IonFluxh said...

Superman Returns was the best movie I have seen this year. The only people who bash it, are typical ignorant people who have so much time on their hands. Like France, so much culture and not enough dough.

Anonymous said...

1. Diba pare, Superman and Lex Luthor were of the same age lang? Diba nga friends pa sila before they became enemies. How come sa movie, Lex was portrayed as matanda na?

--hello????!!!! san mo naman nakuha ang info na magka age lang si clark at si lex? even sa smallville ang ka-age ni clark ay little brother ni lex na namatay!

2. Correct me if I'm wrong pare pero I dont recall Superman and Lois Lane having sex to produce a child which is hikain pa!
--bakit? kailangan pa bang ipakita sa tao kung pano ginagawa ang bata? common sense naman!!!

3. Up to now, sumasakit pa rin my brain thinking how come nobody still can't figure out that Clark Kent is Superman provided all the people at Daily Planet are fond of detective work since most of them are journalists/reporters nga. Are they all that stupid talaga or may magic powers lang talaga the eyeglass of superman, rendering him incognito whenever he wears it.



4. What's with the kulot na bangs pare? I mean its pretty obvious naman na straight hair ni Clark sa movie tapos whenever he change into Superman na, the kulot bangs suddenly appear.

5. Superman is gay. Just notice the leg position whenever he lift his feet off the ground. Kadiri pare no?

6. Superman is laging handa pare. because he only needs to make hawi lang his clothes to reveal his costume. I mean, super lambot ba his costume for no one to notice it while at work. Specially the Superman boots which he always wear under his black shoes (?)!. The layered getup must be really init pare.

Now I know where the orcs got their style in layered clothing. Kaya naman I'll bet an arm and a leg that Superman has BO pare.

7. There was an incident sa movie pa where Lois Lane was slammed on the head by the vault's door which was made entirely out of steel. She fell pa nga unconcious sa tubig. The question is, how come she suffered no bukol? Not even minor bleeding pare. Eh it was like very lakas kaya ng pagkaka-slam on her head. Probably she's hard core pare. Internal hemorrhage in the head. Big time!

8. After an earthquake, there should be a big tidal wave. That was missing pare. I anticipated pa naman that part.

Anonymous said...

pag hindi ka tumigil sa kakapost mo; ihahack ko website mo.

yoru said...

dude, when are you going to update? your entries are so amusing! :D :D :D

in defense of superman, i'm giving it a 10/10 because of brandon routh. :P

Anonymous said...

As my friend says, "Good year for Bad movies". :)

Well, nothing really super with Superman Returns, maybe I just got spoiled with the comics and/or teh JLA/U comic series. Bah. Hope Pirates do better.

(still drooling at Spidey 3 teaser)

BTW anyone noticed the Action Comics pose in the movie? the one with the car? hehe Classic.

name said...

pag hindi ka tumigil sa kakapost mo; ihahack ko website mo.

Wag ka mag-ilusyon pare, hindi ka marunong mang-hack, para kang yung mga call-center agents... POSER!

Anonymous said...

Si Superman naospital?? bwahahaha!

I LOVE COFIBEAN!

Ang funny-slash-pathetic ng hater mo!

Anonymous said...

so funny naman you... and you know what? i just really can't get over the fact na lois and superman actually had sex.... dapat she's dead na kasi his thing is also SUPER! ang pano siya nag-undress? he removed muna his brief and then the tights. just like what the nurse probably did when he was brought to the ospital. and what's the meaning for the anak na super fragile? pano kaya nakunan ng blood sample ng doctors to diagnose his sakit?
there really are a lot of mali pero take note, sa breakfast studio 23, the movie was given a 6 out of 5 na rating by bam and jc... so what??? siguro they're bading kasi they just like brandon routh....

patay said...

name said...
pag hindi ka tumigil sa kakapost mo; ihahack ko website mo.


anak ng putang poser toh, sigurado nag wowork call center tong bobong toh!!!

patay.blogspot.com

chitchat said...

so funny naman you... and you know what? i just really can't get over the fact na lois and superman actually had sex.... dapat she's dead na kasi his thing is also SUPER! ang pano siya nag-undress? he removed muna his brief and then the tights. just like what the nurse probably did when he was brought to the ospital. and what's the meaning for the anak na super fragile? pano kaya nakunan ng blood sample ng doctors to diagnose his sakit?
there really are a lot of mali pero take note, sa breakfast studio 23, the movie was given a 6 out of 5 na rating by bam and jc... so what??? siguro they're bading kasi they just like brandon routh....

Anonymous said...

you go clapsock! you oughtta tell him more. i just hope you're not saying same thingies as he is on this site. as long as you don't, i support you!

Anonymous said...

i believe lois and superman did hit the sack in superman 2. result: the hikain little superboy.

Anonymous said...

i wonder how lois managed to keep those sperms from flooding out of her mouth..di ba like, superman is super so tyak the phrase "he jetted his cum" literally went, his cum went out like a jet and lois if she's not super, she would have flown when superman gave it to her hahaha. Pero i think lois is super because of her hardcore physique (biruin mo magpatumbling tumbling sa loob ng plane tapos un majumbag sya ng steel door ng yatch)

Anonymous said...

actually, lois and clark DID have sex.. panuorin nyo ung superman II (1980). o bka karamihan sa inyo eh nkalimutan na merong mga naunang movies na superman? o bka smallville lang ang alam nyo? at kung gagawa ka ng unting research, ito pong superman returns eh katuloy ng story from Superman I and II, so tama lang ang takbo ng movie. sheesh.

and mas matanda po si lex luthor kaysa kay clark, kahit sa smallville na show. read the damn comic books bago kayo magpaka-critic kuno.

isa sa mga reasons kung bakit hindi nila napapansin na si clark kent eh si superman dahil napaka-out of character kung iisipin na si clark si supes. clumsy at mejo absent minded ang character ni clark, kahit sa "golden age" superman comics, lalo na sa unang dalawang superman movies. super keen si clark sa mga nangyayari sa paligid nya, kya he knows how to cover his steps.

at kailangang lagi syang handa. anu ka ba superhero nga sya eh. hello?!

and compared to the other superhero movies na lumabas lately (especially ung lecheng X3 na yan), eh obvious naman na ten times mas maganda ito.

Anonymous said...

UPDATE!!

@_@ said...

Grabe ang hirap naman basahin nito.

Everything on this side of the web is half erratic English, half erratic Filipino/Tagalog.

Choose one, just one, for the sake of your educated readers.


"Our rich need to get their faces rubbed in reality. They need to inhale the smell of garbage, excrement, and twelve human bodies who can't afford soap or deodorant crammed into a cardboard box. They need to eat the empty, sodium-laced carbohydrates that pass for food among the very same people that their corporations sell things to. And they need to use a "bathroom" in the slums. Only then will they be equipped to make decisions and policies that will affect the entire population.

Give to charity. Educate the rich."
- Jessica Zafra

Anonymous said...

i wonder how lois managed to keep those sperms from flooding out of her mouth..di ba like, superman is super so tyak the phrase "he jetted his cum" literally went, his cum went out like a jet and lois if she's not super, she would have flown when superman gave it to her hahaha. Pero i think lois is super because of her hardcore physique (biruin mo magpatumbling tumbling sa loob ng plane tapos un majumbag sya ng steel door ng yatch)

-this one so funny!! you have a blog?

ciara said...

I think his posts are cool.Onga nmn...mei disclaimer na pro people would still go here pra mgbgay ng comments na ndi nmn dpat..aahh!ewn!bsta..astigin ung posts nia..astigin c cofibean..name p ln eh..

Ederic said...

hi cofibean,

nagustuhan ko naman yung superman. asteeg, despite the flaws. read the "reaction paper" at my blog na lang.

btw, because we're so aliw with you, may gustong i-offer sa 'yo ang publisher namin. sana you'll make us pansin even if you're so sikat na.

please e-mail me at ederic[at]gmail[dot]com or text me at 0919-4100511.

Hintayin ka namin. Salamat.

Anonymous said...

Stupid... d porket friends sila ni lex before sa smallville ibig sabihin same age sila... notice na si clark highschool and lex is a corporate bigwig... tanga mo pare!!!

Anonymous said...

my english teacher was once a call center agent. there's nothing wrong with him. his feet are both firmly placed on the ground.

Anonymous said...

Smallville messed up the story of Superman... It's a fantasy why make it a reality... the one that iss stupid is you... bakit yng mga ginugulpi sa movies wlang pasa yng bida..nakakailag sa bala si lito lapid..

nauntog walang bukol...eh subukan natin i untog ka sa steel hanggang mawalan ka ng malay pag nagkabukol eh di sue the movie and put in bukol in lois' head...what a joke.. pare yng spiderman nga nag iba ng story for the Silverscreen eh superman pa kaya..sa xmen din iniba story..tpos hahanpin mo Smallville na friends sila ni Lex..ginawa lang namang friends sila para mag bigay ng twist sa story ng superman dahil given nga they're mortal enemies what if friends pala sila nung bata si clark... and if you follow the old superman movies lex is just the criminal Superman always put in prison and he don't know clark kent...what a joke...

Anonymous said...

1. Diba pare, Superman and Lex Luthor were of the same age lang? Diba nga friends pa sila before they became enemies. How come sa movie, Lex was portrayed as matanda na?

--smallville lang ang alam nya..siguro nrinig nya sa mga jologs he "hate" daw...eh don sya nakikinig ng tsimis..
2. Correct me if I'm wrong pare pero I dont recall Superman and Lois Lane having sex to produce a child which is hikain pa!
--eh engot ka pla eh...dpat pa ba ipakita sayo yon...kung may anak sila eh di nagsex sila..given na yon..spoonfeeding pala gusto mo eh..where's your mind..

3. Up to now, sumasakit pa rin my brain thinking how come nobody still can't figure out that Clark Kent is Superman provided all the people at Daily Planet are fond of detective work since most of them are journalists/reporters nga. Are they all that stupid talaga or may magic powers lang talaga the eyeglass of superman, rendering him incognito whenever he wears it.

--ginagamit mo pala brain mo...it's a fantasy man...

4. What's with the kulot na bangs pare? I mean its pretty obvious naman na straight hair ni Clark sa movie tapos whenever he change into Superman na, the kulot bangs suddenly appear.

--style nya yn eh...

5. Superman is gay. Just notice the leg position whenever he lift his feet off the ground. Kadiri pare no?

--ikaw nga pano ka lumipad...


7. There was an incident sa movie pa where Lois Lane was slammed on the head by the vault's door which was made entirely out of steel. She fell pa nga unconcious sa tubig. The question is, how come she suffered no bukol? Not even minor bleeding pare. Eh it was like very lakas kaya ng pagkaka-slam on her head. Probably she's hard core pare. Internal hemorrhage in the head. Big time!

--subukan natin sayo..pag nagkabukol ka eh mali yng movie...

8. After an earthquake, there should be a big tidal wave. That was missing pare. I anticipated pa naman that part.

--talga may tidal wave dpat pag may earthquake..eh diba lumilindol din when a volcano erupts...may tidal wave ba nung pumutok pinatubo? baka lang meron ah d ko alam...

Anonymous said...

if you were the director, would you have done something better than the movie? I'm a little dubious at this point. It's just a freaking movie and a comic book character/story. He won't be superman for nothing if he couldn't be subtle in wearing THE outfit and boots under his power suit! Maybe the superman powers of the little kid was disguised as his perpetual asthma attack, don't you think? Or it just goes to show that he is half human. Lois is the mom after all.

Your realizations are quite...hmmm...so what do you think about the latest Pacquiao fight?

Anonymous said...

Hari Mother You!!!

In the opposite language, K*ng I*a Mo!!

Anonymous said...

tanga! di na kita papatulan.

Adam Mordo said...

To the person who asked:

"Pano ba maglagay ng picture dito sa comment box? Please post naman. Kasi yung iba merong picture. Bakit saken wala?"

Get a blogger account and upload a pic on that account. Then the next time you comment here, use your blogger account instead of being anonymous.

To the haters:

Please read the freaking disclaimer. It's really not that hard to understand. And for crying out loud, if you can't write in proper english and it'll be filled with horrible grammatical errors, stick to what you know and comment in tagalog. Trust me on this one. I'm just trying to help you look less stupid.

To the fans:

To humor and an open mind, cheers!

To the cofibean writer:

We get you. Too funny bro...way too funny.

Anonymous said...

you want to really make poverty history??

http://www.gawadkalinga.org/

its the BEST and ONLY way to go

it changes lives...

Anonymous said...

you really want to "Make Poverty History!" ??

http://www.gawadkalinga.org/

its the BEST and ONLY way to go...

GawadKalinga changes lives

Anonymous said...

palagi ka na lang nagcucurse sa mga tinatawag mong natives. . . eh kung tutuusin hindi kayo mabubuhay kung wala yang mga tinatawag mong natives na yan.

so bakit naghihire parin kayo ng driver na native ? maid na native ? employee na native ? eh kung ayaw mo pala ng native eh ikaw ang gumawa ng mga trabaho jan sa kumpanya niyo.

pakshet

Motto: Make arrogance History !!

Anonymous said...

yawa-a nimo bay oy!!! keep it up!!! keep on annoying people

Anonymous said...

wow pare thanks for your blog... this makes uber sense talaga... like stupidity makes you cOOl like capital Os! keep being stupid..dont overthink it pare.. baka mag ka aneurism ka sa brain mo.. sige ikaw rin...

Anonymous said...

hahhaha.super aliw talaga ako sa post mo pare. keep it up pare and make more people have ngiti in their faces and have a good tawa. cool ka pare.

jo-join na ako sa motto mo.
make poverty history!

slackereq said...

I can't believe you missed the point! It's actually the kulot bangs that makes others too stupid to know the difference, not the glasses! It probably has some hypnotizing effect or something. Let's see if the orcs try some funny kulot bangs jet-setting in Megamall's skating rink.

As for the hikain kid, i can only assume its the Kryptonian blood that isn't compatible with human blood.

Good point on the shoes though. I guess his shoe size isn't for real... so much for the hikain kid... probably not his then, if you get my drift (and not in Rufino).

Anonymous said...

i love superman though its stupid pare...

pare i'd love talking to you pare...i love you na pare...you're good with that TAGLISH thing...

Anonymous said...

tang ina!!!napakayabang mo tol!!! pukinang ina mo!!! kilala kita!! isa kang hamak na bakala!!!! frozen god!!!!!! bwahahaha!! tang ina mo!!!! bakla ka!!!!! wag kang magtago!!!!! ilabas mo kung sino ka!!! subo mo etits ko gus2 mo? ha?!!!!! wag nalang di ako pumapatol sa baklang kagaya mo eh....

pare tingin ka sa salamin tpos sapakin mo sarili mo para magising ka!!! isa baklang walang kwenta... impostor!!!!! tang ina mo!!!!!! isa kang social mountaineer!!!
paksheeeeeeeeetttt!!!! kaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BAKLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kung cno mansumusuporta sa blog na ito wag kayong palinlang sa isang baklang nagtatago sa pngalng frozen god!!!!!

tang ina mo!!!!
fuck you!!!!

Anonymous said...

FYI: FROZEN GOD IS NOT COFIBEAN

kaawa-awang frozen god...

napagkamalan pang c cofibean...

hahaha...

he's in my list sa friendster pero as far as i know, he's no way near cofibean...

mabait naman yon and galante pa pero d mayabang...

i pity my friend coz he was mistaken for cofibean, try macking him and u'll know how different these two people are...

but cofibean... ur blog is so funny... never fails to make my day!!!

Anonymous said...

FYI: FROZEN GOD IS "NOT" COFIBEAN

kaawa awang frozen god...

napagkamalan pang c cofibean....

he's one of my friends in friendster, and as far as i know, he's no way near cofibean...

he's kalog and friendly pero never naging mayabang yon...

i juz pity my friend, frozen god, coz he was mistaken for sum1 else...

mack him through friendster and you'll know what i mean... mabait yan mga friends and is no way like cofibean...

in fairness to cofibean though, his blogsite never fails to give me a laugh... i admire the way he thinks... and if ever he's real... though i would hate him for being mean, id look up to him for being funny and true.

Anonymous said...

Ok, this is the first time I read this blog, and though there's a disclaimer, I would still have to say, I don't really like this blog.

I just don't know why. I'm no call center agent. I at least don't look like a "native" (though I'm damn PROUD to be one. Pero wala akong BO. hehehe...). I also know that this blog is for entertainment purposes only. (Switch to Tagalog mode) Pero di ko talaga maintindihan kung bakit napaka "offensive" sa kin ng blog na to. (oops, napa english ako... hehehehe)

Siguro dahil sa panghahamak nito sa mga "natives". Siguro dahil sa panghahamak niya sa Superman Returns kahit napakaganda naman nito (at maraming siyang di naintindihan sa Superman. Whatever. Some people have cleared some issues here, anyway).

Try reading thebestpageintheuniverse.com. Now that's a damn funny blog (webpage pala, kasi he hates the word "blog"). Now, his character's just as arrogant as the character cofibean created, but I find his webpage funny.

I would have to agree with one thing, though. Mga taong "poser"-magsitigil kayo. Tama sinabi ni cofibean-"live by your means" and "act accordingly". Maski ako naiirita sa inyo.

xoddam said...

Mas CLASS lang ang dating ni Maddox (maddox.xmission.com aka www.thebestpageintheuniverse) kasi malinis ang sentence structure nya, and almost no typo at all. At may book na sya... so most probably, etong so cofibean ay dati ring frequenter ng site ni Maddox, tapos, nakapulot ng idea... That was the first thing that came to my mind the first time I read this blog.

Pero still the same, DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ IN THE INTERNET. Only fools take internet knowledge as Gospel.

Anonymous said...

tanong engot: Ano po yung "cup of chino" na sinabi na sa blog? is it the same as "cappucino"? di pa kasi ako nakakatuntong sa starbucks e bwehehe.

Anonymous said...

i usually like your posts but dude, you bashed superman. your critiques show how much you know about superman.. and its like... DUH - NUTHING. if youre basing it on smallville... dont. smallville sucks.

Anonymous said...

watch the first 2 superman films by the late christopher reeve. dun sya based. hindi sa smallville. mas matanda tlga si lex luthor kay superman. yung abt the kid, nasa superman 2 po yun.

Sachiko said...

Oh my.

I have just been away for a while (taking trips here and there), and I find a good deal of entries and equally funny (and not so funny) comments from some here. Well, can I just leave some thoughts about some of the things that caught my attention?

Cofibean: I never watched the movie because it's exasperating to watch another movie-from-comics thing. But I believe I don't have to watch the movie to agree to some of the criticisms given to you about your supposed 'review' of the material. Oh, and may I emphasize the fact that just because you haven't watched the first two films with the late Christopher Reeves does not excuse you of saying some faulty deductions. But I tip my hat to you for noticing it at all. Better than letting flaws go unnoticed.

Scroll Lock: I am quite impressed at the proper thing that you did at first, though, you got quite carried away at your suceeding posts. First and foremost, I understand your point. I have achieved quite as well, although not like what you've achieved when you are 22, I believe that I have a satisfactory lifestyle now at 20. After all, being a successor in a business gives you the benefit of living without turning to call centers as desperate means. I admit that I was asked for the position ever since I graduated 2 years ago, but I promptly decline for a more stable job experience and an opportunity at the corporate block. But very unlike cofi, I don't like to flaunt what I have, and most unlike the 'orcs' that he keeps referring to, I'd rather stay with a simple lifestyle (though I travel a lot to plan for the business), not because I can't have it, but like you said, I am living in accordance to the proper breeding I am accustomed into. Well, I need not elaborate, you said it all with this simple paragraph:

"Actually, YOU people are the reason this country will never progress, unless maybe you gather all the social climbers, wannabes and "jologs" in a major gathering and bomb the place. You take critism so personally and blame everything on everyone except yourselves. Try looking at yourself for a change and see what's wrong. Also, you always tend to compete (deep inside) with others by acquiring trendy and cool gadgets that you couldn't even afford, unless you try eating cup noodles for 8 months. Try to improve your lives, and mind you, a snazy cellphone, an iPod, or anything new is not a basis of your status. It just proves how shallow you are.

"Live by your means" and "Act accordingly" was my message, enveloped in a bit of sarcastic, but truthful comment. Unfortunately, your numb brain only picked up the sarcastic comment without digesting the main essence."


It's quite hard hitting, but quite true. Because real class comes from the words that comes out of your mouth and even the words that forms within your mind. I agree with you but I am still quite concerned as to which part of the comment was hard to comprehend.

Oh well, rather than be affected by some dreadful comments, I'd rather be entertained with my Ceylon Tea and with the gift my fave rock artist (Hyde) gave me. If anyone asks who Hyde is, try searching for L'arc en ciel.

Domo!
Sachiko

Greekgodlamb said...

hey chong... i hope u really r good looking to talk like that... now dont feel bad about this comment. I just think it's so pathetic for u to consider some filipinos as Orcs which is quite disparaging - now i think thats not classy at all... or jologs in reference to ur terminologies. Professionals do not discriminate people. I believe u have this big fear of being one of those so called "lower class citizens" of yours. You heighten the distance by creating these differences... like calling them names such as Orcs.

Anonymous said...

question lang.....sino ba talaga ang "PARE" ni cofibean?

Anonymous said...

REMINDER: don't forget your brain when you go watch movies.

BTW: Superman Returns is the fifth Superman movie, for those who don't know. Also, a sequel is planned for 2009.

Anonymous said...

Now.. my turn pare... kapal ng face mo dude as in sobra kapal ng face...todo na to!!haha I want to see you in person tapos I'll criticize you from head to foot..tsk tsk sobra yabang mo...!! dapat sayo "pare" (and dont use words such as that, kasi "corny" eh), go finish your school muna pare'... looks like your absent while teaching GMRC.. Good Manners and Right Conduct pare un, baka lng hindi mo alam kc your absent pare'.

btw are you a filipino pare'? kc if you are, then Orcs ka rin diba? stupid!

Okay okay...calm down... You must know some of superman's backgound muna for you to "really" enjoy the movie. Oops.. if ever Anonymous said... is right, that you forgot your brain...then don't bring yourself as well!!! P@*%$#! m@!!

peace out...
scared? others can read this? Oh you're not, then approve it!

Anonymous said...

nabakla lang yan kay superman hahaha

Stip said...

Nice piece, cofibean! Very unique and entertaining writing style/persona. You just got another fan!

And you've just given me several more reasons why NOT to see Superman Returns, hehe. (Yup, I haven't seen it til now).

The post was candid, but scrolling through the comments were equally entertaining. =D

Anonymous said...

eh kung di ba ba naman ignot at nanood ka ng movie na hindi mo naman alam ang background.....TANGA!!

TO answer your qustions.

1. Supermana never grows old, same pa rin sila ni luthor, si lex luthor ay isang human being..gets mo ignot?

2. Why in the fucking world would they show a sex scene in an G rated movie??? if in case you didnt watch the movie, superman was gone for 7 years, count 'em 7 years....before he left they were madly in love...unless na isang bading si superman (pero ikaw alam ko OO) who wouldnt want to have sex with a chick like that PARE...

3. Superman has the powers to erase memories, case in point, you dont know the history of superman..that is why the people around him dont suspect he is superman..he has also proven at one time that he isnt superman by appearing with an image of superman at his side...gets mo na tanga???

4. the kulot bangs is for effect...

5. the position of the feet is for aerodynamics....kala ko ba your so intelligent....if he flies off with his feet spread apart...then there would be so much drag sana naglakad na lang sya.

6. ever heard of the saying "faster than a speeding bullet" duh!!!!

7. hindi naman nag earthquake, it was a massive electrical pulse that caused the vibrations...

puro ka sat sat...di ka naman yata nanood...baka nanood ka pero puro lalake sa sinahan ang pinapanood mo

Anonymous said...

2. Correct me if I'm wrong pare pero I dont recall Superman and Lois Lane having sex to produce a child


Susko .. nung Superman 2, pinagpalit nya pagiging superman nya para makipag-sex kay Lois. Diba nga naging tao sya at nabugbog pa sa bar, then he came back to his home at nakita ang green crystal .. ano ba yan?? nanonood ba kayo talaga?
hahaha

Anonymous said...

Pre, naman....Fantasy at sci-fi movie lang naman yun para sa mga bata o sa mga matatanda na gusto pa rin maging bata. Siguro you are imagining Smallville kaya na-link mo yung superman returns. They're not of the same production kaya you cannot expect na maging same ang plots and story sequence nila kahit Superman ang topic. Remember Da Vinci Code? Pera lang naman natin ang katumbas sa ganoong mga movies, kaya manood na lang tayo at isipin na lang natin na may feeding bottle ba tayo sa bibig. Game? TC

Anonymous said...

fucking shit pare, hindi lagi may tidal wave pag nag earthquake pare.

Dugs ka pare, nag sex sila sa supes 2.

ilista mu nalang sa karton, tapos saksak mu sa ass hole mo pare.

james said...

wow, cant belib andameng naapektuhan sa blog ng isang konyo, haha enjoyin nio lang ang pagbabasa, kakaaliw naman eh wag nio nga lang masyadong damdamin ang mga nakasaad dito dahil talagang mrami kaung offensive statements na mababasa,

haha..

pero anyabang mo konyo!!! hahah

corgi said...

hehe galing mo cofibean dude. i cannot believe the kababawan of the people who are getting riled up here. they obviously don't get it. hahahahahahaha. shit for brains siguro...maybe they can't understand what a satire is. hats off to you cofibean, keep 'em coming!

Anonymous said...

ok, sige, satirical -- para sa superman movie. nice one! pero yung pagmamaliit sa mga "native" at pagsasabi na mabaho ang mga pilipinong katulad niya... foul yun. baka pag nalaman ng "masa na mabaho" ang pinagsasabi niya at malaman ang true identity mo, baka i-wish mo na ikaw si superman.

bamboo said...

Fool, what’s up?

Do you really speak like this or you’re just doing this to attract readers? If that’s the case, you’re a genius, but if its not and you really are like this in real life, then you must be called on, and have your blog shown to the rest of the world, and have all the ‘orcs’ that you call obliterate you to puny pieces.

When you make a post, please research first on the topic, so when people read you don’t get bashed. Not unless you really, really get turned on by the trashing, and harsh words thrown at you by your readers.

A little lesson for you – Superman and Lex Luthor are not of the same age. Have you read the comic book or you’ve seen the Christopher Reeves in red and blue tights? Gene Hackman was suppose to be a 40 something billionaire of Metropolis. Clark Kent moved to Metropolis only after he got his college degree.

In the comic book, Superman and Lois Lane got married. Lois Lane even got temporary powers once.

Always remember that in Superman’s world, everything is uber possible. Metropolis is a fictional city for crying out loud.

Kal El is also from Krypton, he gets his power from the sun, so his physiology is different from an earthman.

Ok, enough about the movie and lets get back to you. You fucking diss a lot of people when you call them orcs. In retrospect, you are the orc,….wait I stand corrected, you are the pond-scum laying on a sea of wretched bile where the orcs are being mass produced. Oh! You don’t understand what I just said.

Learn ENGLISH!

What kind of blubber is this shit? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate you, I loathe people like you. You needed to be condemned in your own puke and mucus until you realize how tasty they are as they are spoon-fed to you, day and night.

Then again, you will probably accept this comment, because you are an attention whore.

Cool!

Anonymous said...

Hey guys good news i know this hambog guy im just trying to get his address then post ko dito para mabawasan ang mga gago dito sa pinas!

Anonymous said...

"So yun na nga diba? I was like riding on air with my uber bilis driving and it only took me 5 minutes (which would normally take 30 minutes with Hilariously Stoopid driving) from our house to Glorietta. Can't wait na nga for Drag Racing Pinoy to reopen their site kasi I think I belong to that group. I can even do the drift na nga pare while driving pababa at Rufino towers. Eh Rufino is notorious pa naman for having the narrowest parking pababa and paakyat ng floors. Yeah pare, I'm that galing talaga at driving so there's no point na talaga in hiring stupid natives as my driver pa."

Karera nga tyo pare! you think your super bilis, pakita mo nga! ano tara laban tyo like you know sa race track! pakita mo drifting mo dun...

ano bang auto mo?

Anonymous said...

Wow pare... You're stupid pare... I mean so fucking stupid pare... Hanggang Smallville lang ang mentalidad mo. You really should grow up asshole. Yung mga bagay na pinipilit mo na i-point ay matagal nang obvious. And dipshit, why don't you go die in a sewer somewhere? You'd fit there perfectly.

Anonymous said...

ai,grabe..sUmakit mata q ka2ba.. pero ok lang,dame q n22nan,..hahaha, cge magtalotalo lng kau!!!!!!!!!!!