Friday, February 20, 2009

February Update

Ok pare, remember the girl I made kwento last time? Well for some effin reason I cant seem to shed her out of my life. She's like glued na to me pare. I know Im hot and all pero pare this is something different, shes acting like im her property na no! What the hell! Nobody owns me pare! Pero don't get me wrong ha. Im not bakla pero I dont have any feelings talaga towards her eh. But thanks to my pakialamera mom, I think Im stuck na with Cheska. I mean I'd still choose my ex lesbo girlfriend Ysabelle if only shes still single and not married to that gay Bobby dude.

Just like what happened last week after the wedding of my cousin. Some guy friends invited me over to have coffee at starbs Harbor Square. And since I'm with my gf, no choice pare but to tag her along at starbs or else Hilariously Stoopid will make sumbong na naman to my stupid mom na Im not being nice to Cheska. I made iwan kasi her the last time we watched movie at ATC because she really made me pikon.

Eh puta pare, she's like mas malala pa kay Claude when it comes to being maarte and all. Here's the scenario pare: since im still not allowed to drive my car, Hilarously Stoopid drove us to Square Harbor to meet up with my friends there. We never bothered changing getups pa pare. Since we all look cool naman sporting our fine barongs. But since im with Cheska, I have an extra baggage with me. I have to be extra nice to her or else my mom would cut my LAST card. Shit talaga pare! Its like conspiracy theory talaga. Im feeling like Mel Gibson na trying to make isip on how to free myself from the unwanted setup. So yun na nga diba, after Hilarously Stoopid parked the car, Cheska refused to get down from the car. It was raining a bit kasi pare. Pero it was like a bit lang talaga. Pero the fucking Cheska doesnt want to get out of the car because she was afraid daw that her Manolo Blahnik might get ruined by the water. Tangina talaga pare! Eh I was like salivating pa naman for a cup-of-chino that time. So I was like really muntik ng i-tie around her neck the shole she's wearing. Buti na lang I saw a group of wet baho natives seeking shelter from the rain along the restos near the parking area. So thats more than enough reason for me to also backout from the caffeine convention and head back inside the car. Hirap na pare. Who knows if those natives are infected with some kind of airborne disease diba? Good thing we are like 10 meters away from them. Funny nga how those orcs got basa eh. Siguro it was divine intervention na for them to make ligo no. They all look so baho na kasi eh.

Thats all muna for now pare. I'll just make lipat lang my files to the external drive I bought kanina. ciao dudes and dudettes.

101 comments:

Gram Math said...

hi, miss your blog.
buti naman naisip you to update us with your evah fabalous life!

andrei jon said...

suggestion: have an evening with her on tagaytay and when the two of you are there already, find a steep hill or bangin then push her there.

Anonymous said...

Pare, you deserve someone better than Cheska. Why don't you try winning back Ysabelle? I'm sure she will be more than happy to leave and divorce that bakla Bobby dude.
Good thinking talaga pare. Did you know that most of those baho natives are carriers of antibiotic resistant bacteria! Like, if you make lapit to them, you will easily get infected. Sayang pa you. People might think you are sickly and gwapo. Gwapo only pare, right?
Anyway, ingat ka pare. Stay away from those call center peeps, okay?

Anonymous said...

and if in case the police or your mom ask what happen..
Tell them she trip over her stilletos! HAHAHA XD

Anonymous said...

hay nako andrei jon... wag ngang sumali... di naman bagay sayo pasossy... beat it! hahaha may sasabihin pa sana ako... kaso baka lumala kasalanan ko... I can't stand just reading your message... hehe pasensya!

Unleashed said...

finally, a new post! keep this thing alive man.. http://easemystress.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

you're so boring na cofi. dunno why... maybe because you are so bagal in posting your entries. make it fast dude.
http://ihatewhatyoulove.com
--way better than you.

maui said...

So I was like really muntik ng i-tie around her neck the shole she's wearing.
--btw, what the hell is a SHOLE? i thought you are smart, but its SHAWL, pare.

saisho said...

keep postin ^^

Anonymous said...

Shole or Shoal?

Anonymous said...

DItch the stupid bitch and get a boytoy. I think you'll be happier in the arms of another man, cofi! Aminin mo na kasi. Life is too short to not enjoy it. GET A BOYTOY! Yung Gerald Anderson or Jake Cuenca-type. hehehe

Melissa Is LOVE said...

So you're the infamous call center hater.. Your posts are amusing I should say.

Just one thing: it's SHAWL, not SHOLE.

Anonymous said...

www.basnav.tk FUCK!

dew said...

haha, akala ko ako lang naka-notice ng SHOLE na supposed to be SHAWL.

blacksoul said...

ang tagal mong nawala pero nothing has changed

Anonymous said...

Shole, shoal or shawl. Nyeta! As long as it sounds the same, i guess you get the drift. Give the kid his much needed break. Dammit!

Hapi said...

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Anonymous said...

hahahahahhaa..annoying but funny. well there are people na ganun dito sa pinas. shit!! hahahahahhaha

Anonymous said...

tangina, ano kaya yun, la kwenta

anonymous said...

bading! hahaha gliteratti from makati.. hahaha. the word. it appears like you just need money and you write these. then you get paid for the ads posted here. heheheh

thea said...

lol you really don't like her do you? anyway.. i've wanted an external drive din, ung sa apple.. but I still have lots of things to buy. xD owells. my hard drive isn't full pa naman.. anywhoo, ciao! ~

Anonymous said...

Putangina mo nabadtrip ako sa pagbasa ng mga pinagsasabi mo.

TimYapanget said...

SHOLE? =))

Haha! Pare, ok na sana your blog but it gets a bit kasawa eh. It gets paulit-ulit. So sana pare you get new ideas and ways to make your blog more interesting pa. :)

Anonymous said...

Putangina mo, ayusin mo nga iyung pagsasalita mo. Ang conyo mo magsalita nakaka badtrip

Pwedeng English, pede din naman tagalog, pero pinaghahalo mo pa. Gago ka.

Isa kang gago. Wala kang kwenta magsalita at malamang pangit ka.

Tangina mo ulit kasi nakaka badtrip talaga yang pananalita mo.

Tangina mo.

Peace. :D

Anonymous said...

damn, daming gay lingo si cofi.
bading na bading
ahahaha

Anonymous said...

More More stories =D

Anonymous said...

yeah. fuck you andrei jon. kokoment comment ka dito ng pa-sossy e pang cheapanggang bakla yung laman ng blog mo.

"hayy... katatapos ko lang manood ng another korean movie na pinamagatang "a moment to remember" and talagang nadurog puso ko sa pinanood kong to. punyeta talaga. tearjerker. kung effeminate ako siguro baka bumaha ng luha tong sala namin pero siguro dahil sa testosterone level ko kaya di ako gaanong naiyak. you have to watch it for yourself para malaman niyo kung bakit ganoon ang reaksyon ko. basta guys i tell you...BLAH BLAH BLAH..."

eto o: http://itembang.blogspot.com/

Fucken poser.

Anonymous said...

WTF!

[quote]Putangina mo, ayusin mo nga iyung pagsasalita mo. Ang conyo mo magsalita nakaka badtrip

Pwedeng English, pede din naman tagalog, pero pinaghahalo mo pa. Gago ka.

Isa kang gago. Wala kang kwenta magsalita at malamang pangit ka.

Tangina mo ulit kasi nakaka badtrip talaga yang pananalita mo.

Tangina mo.

[/quote]

tama sila, ayusin mo blog mo. nakakahiya ka!

Anonymous said...

are you gay? i think u should come out from the box.

Anonymous said...

Are you for real? nice strategy... Made up stories to be famous? COOOLLLL!!!!!

daydreamer05 said...

guys guys guys..

relax! 'Cofibean' is just a made up character.. obvious naman eh. lahat ng mga 'life experiences' niya, sobrang hindi realistic.

if you want a hint, yung writer ng blog na ito ay taga UP.

kayo na ang bahala kung ayaw niyong maniwala.

there's no point in letting a fictional blog like this affect you.

just shows how slowly but surely everyone now are beginning to become sheeple... always believing what is on the internet.

daydreamer05 said...

guys guys guys..

relax! 'Cofibean' is just a made up character.. obvious naman eh. lahat ng mga 'life experiences' niya, sobrang hindi realistic.

if you want a hint, yung writer ng blog na ito ay taga UP.

kayo na ang bahala kung ayaw niyong maniwala.

there's no point in letting a fictional blog like this affect you.

just shows how slowly but surely everyone now are beginning to become sheeple... always believing what is on the internet.

Anonymous said...

i feel sorry for the girl for having such a backstabbing boyfriend.... haha.

Anonymous said...

is this guy from UP?! wow..

i can't believe it..
you are actually a schoolmate?
fuck.. you should get expelled, you don't belong to UP, if you really are from UP..

and hey, stop criticizing the commoners and calling them katutubos, you're not in the position to do so..

you are a waste of time but what you are blogging about is totally irritating and disturbing.. have a heart man..

ang galing mo magsalita e noh..
hindi kasalanan ng tao kung ipinanganak siya sa isang mahirap na pamilya.. at swerte mo lang na mayaman ka.. kung mayaman ka nga lang talaga..

and since you're making the readers believe that you are rich, go buy some manners for yourself..
cuz you obviously have none..

and by the way, your stories sound so fictional..
and please.. stop the nonsense..
you may be using a lot of english in your posts, but you obviously sound stupid..

Anonymous said...

*shawl*

Anonymous said...

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para sa mga ayaw sa muslims lets support this site

Unleashed said...

I support you cofibean.. Even though you hate Filipinos, your still one of the top Pinyo bloggers for me.

http://myonlinemtv.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Well obviously, the life of this blogger is less than exciting from what he is trying to project. I have been dropping by this site for quite a while now, to get my constant dose of humour. But it seems his life suddenly became uneventful? Too bad, it was a good laugh while it lasted.

Anonymous said...

"... I have to be extra nice to her or else my mom would cut my LAST card."

Question, ano ibig sabihin nito? Nanghihingi ka pa din ng pera sa mom mo???

Anonymous said...

Lame isn't it? FOr somebody that holds an important position in a COmpany (or so he says he does), it just doesn't add up does it?

Get your own card, instead of leeching off your parents. You hate Call Center people so much, but guess what, they have their "OWN" credit cards, working for it instead of being such a burden and sucking it off from somebody else.

You might get a life while your at it.

PS: Why not we meet up sometime so I can smack my Platinum card on your face. That might bring you down to Earth somewhat.

kach said...

You go to starbs? eew.

blacksoul said...

April na magupdate ka na

Anonymous said...

it doesn't sounds like fictional, but it's a real fictional blog... kung hindi nman, maybe the writer is suffering a grandiose delusion... but still, it ain't fucking real... Psycho!


-Gorgz

Anonymous said...

whoa this blog is fucking cool!!!

Anonymous said...

Cofi

it's OK 2 B GAY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnqrtFbVyBI&feature=related

cheers!

Anonymous said...

nakakatamad ka na.

Anonymous said...

manila against muslims

http://manilaagainstmuslims.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

learn to spell right, dude..

tensai said...

Damn! This guy sounds freakin' idiotic! There's too many stupid stuff in here that I don't even know where to start. It basically makes me sick to my stomach! Well, I guess that's a way to get a lot of hits...

It's really easier to be infamous than be famous... and you're obviously taking advantage of that fact.

Anonymous said...

I like the swagger,keep bloggin' Cofi!

And guys,seriously...Don't hate the player,hate the game...

Anonymous said...

bakla.

Arthur said...

Pare, move on na kay Ysabelle! Tutal, lokong-loko naman sa yo si Cheska, patulan mo na rin. Malay mo! Ano ba ang nagtutulak na di mo mahalin si Cheska? Isa ba syang Orc? XDMiss ko na yung blog mo! P***ng 1n@, pramis! :P

Anonymous said...

Whoa. It's been 2 years since I last browsed your blog and I can definitely say that this stuff is getting old. And cheesy. Can't you find something new to work on? Find a new, more irritating personality so that people will start scramblin' to your blog more and more??

Anonymous said...

:)) shole daw. =)))))))))

Anonymous said...

hey, are you sure you're a guy? 'cause some of the words that you are saying (or typing, whichever works for you) are only said by girls (or gays for that matter)... and you have to make your blog believable ( you know like being mayaman, duh (hehehe)), because your grammar is really irritating and it is like you did not learn how to speak or write english...

anyway, funny blogs that make people kick you in the nuts... but a way to keep people interested i guess.

well, hope to see your blog once you come back from, i don't know... sardinia or something.

shiftee said...

Pare, can you like sharpen your english proficiency. You're like so one of them bobo native and baho orcs. Pare, shole? Or shawl? Fuck naman chong.

Anonymous said...

putang ina hahaha.

Anonymous said...

though this is a bit amusing..i think you'd better find something MUCH better to do with your time.

Kung taga UP ka nga, sayang naman talino mo..dito mo lang sinasayang..even if this is just a made-up character, still there are things worth doing than blogging this nonsense..oh well..siguro, this is how u express yourself. Sana lang ndi ka na lang taga UP..heheh..insulto.. :-P

peace!

Anonymous said...

tang ina mo! do you really know how to speak in english or are you just trying soooo hard to do so????? kakabadtrip mga salita mong bakla ka! speak in english continously or if you can't which i am pretty much sure you really can't magtagalog ka na lang kupal! pa sosyal kang bakla ka! ang bobo naman ng mga grammar mo! stupid imbecile! bakla!!!! feeling sosyal ang bobo naman! haha. bless your soul motherfucker!

Anonymous said...

Nothing right in your left brain, nothing left in your right brain

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katie said...

ur super arte nmn pare nkakatawa yung shole thing mo pare...bakla k nga talaga pare..napakahambog mo pa pare.

Anonymous said...

cn u pls make a st0ry t00 abwt filipina nurses? nt juz k0lcnter agents.. 0r hw abwt m8kng st0ries dat r qyt nteresting.. cn u? i herd ur frm UP.. nyc bl0g.. frid0m 0f spich s wel excrcsd.. u plyd wel ur charcter.. hw abwt nstd 0f hvng ficti0ns,y nt wryt realitybasd st0ries? y nt use ur talent t0 ch8ng pe0pl3.. t0 inspire pip0l.. i knw u gt a l0t t0 sh8r t0 0thr pip0l, enaf capcty t0 build 1 nati0n. G0dbless.
bl0gging is g00d, my c0ncrn is ridirs r alrdy afctd w/ 0l d st0ries uv p0sted.

Hapi said...

hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

tagskie said...

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Mikes said...

i really think you're gay. lol!~

anyway, i like reading your posts! Keep it up!

Jarrell said...

Comedy gold! The blog AND the comments!

Ann said...

it's SHAWL dumbass!

Anonymous said...

Dude, its Shawl. Don't mind the orcs, they are so pathetic. I don't want to like mingle with them like shit. I support you, Man! :)

indavao said...

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Anonymous said...

why aren't any updates man... give us more highlights of your luxurious life... it been about 6 months!

Katutubo #1 said...

Tangina yang mga yan na nagsasabi na pinapahiya mo ang UP. Mga tanga lang sila kaya di ka nila ma gets. Malamang lib sci lang yang kurso nyang mga yan. O com arts. Mga orcs amputa.

Pero tangina talaga pare pag nakita kita uupakan kita. Ang bilis kasi ng putanginang puwang mo sa mga sinusulat mong pukto. Baka gusto mong mag lagyan ng karagdagang pangkat ang blog mo kahit isang beses sa isang buwan puta ka.

Pag sa sobrang katamaran mo tinatamad ka na tamarin, masipag ka na ba nun?

Tangina mo kung di mo maintindihan wika ng mga katutubo mag google translate ka hayop ka.

Boy Bawang said...

I'm thankful coz I make pad-pad pad-pad here in your blog.. hehehe

cool posts.. =)

patek philip said...

putang ina mo

Anonymous said...

What the fuck is wrong with your sense of grammar?

You sound like you should stick a shotgun in your mouth and pull the trigger so you could speak better Englsih/Tagalog or whatever hybrid baby babble you blog about.

You hate the "masa" or poor people,
well then have a heaping hot cup of
SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Emigrate to America,
Talk like that to anyone on the street and they'll direct you back to a first grade English class.

You don't sound classy or superior,
you sound like a spoiled douchebag.

P.S. If you need to,
get a dictionary to look up some of the words on this post.

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Anonymous said...

DTNL ang author ng blog na ito.. check nu to.. tunaynalalake.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

tang ina mo pare! you do you salita like this pare? putang ina mo naman pare. it's like what? bullshit pare! hahaha! para kang babaeng paling paling ang dila pare! tang ina talaga pare. putangina mo pare! sana matuto ka ng fluent na tagalog pare! hahahahaha! tang ina mo talaga pare! natawa ako sa post mo. you know. tang ina hahahaha!

Anonymous said...

hey wasap lately, no new posts? :P

selfish jellyfish said...

natives?
haha. dude wag ka magalala.
parepareho tayong mamamatay.
maaagnas ka din.
antayin mo lang.
lol

Anonymous said...

u are dumb and arrogant!!!
that's all, i want to say about you!
you are definitely a slut trying to be a rich kid...
i think u are the one of the orcs who is pretending to be a rich one...
fuck you....
u are gay!
a slut!
a shhit!
and most of all, a bitch!
make pakamatay n pare...
para mabawasan mga copycat d2 sa mundo....
and dont ever judge CSR's....
i am an agent too...
and all i could say...
CALL CENTER AGENTS are more intellectual than you...
you only have a 1.2% of their intellect....
you are just a crop...
ni hindi ka nga marunong magsalita ng ENGLISH eh!!!
tanga ka cguro no?
bgo k manlait ng AGENTS, juz look urself muna...
wala k p sa kalingkingan namin...
ayoko sa lahat ung tanga..
lalo k n COFIBEAN....
msyado kng mayabang...
dont wori... pag namatay k, mki2ta mo rn ang mga resulta ng mga gngwa mo ngaun....
u are definitely a SLUT!
LOSER!
DI KA KASI MARUNONG MAG-ENGLISH!!!!
hahhaaa....


For all of the FOLLOWERS of COFIBEAN'S BLOG:
juz better shut down your PC's rather than exploring this rotten blog!
stop pretending cofibean....
alam kong mahirap k lng..
pretending to be mayaman....




ngaun? cno sa ating 2 ang mukhang TANGA? eh d ikaw?!

Anonymous said...

tunaynalalakwe ang author ng blog na ito... check tunaynalalakwe.blogspot.com

bos_tsip said...

anything you got to say about ondoy's wrath?

tagskie said...

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Anonymous said...

lol .. it's a been a while since i last visited ur blog .. andame pa ring nagbabasa pala d2 noh? at patuloy pa ren silang naiinis? hahaha!

ang labo eh .. asar na asar sila sayo pero they keep on reading ur entries. hahaha!

idol.

Anonymous said...

binaha ka cguro kaya wala ka ng post.
hahahaha

karma!

Anonymous said...

what a fucktard

im here asshole

http://photos-p.friendster.com/photos/43/60/58110634/1_483593783l.jpg

Anonymous said...

what happened to you na pare, namatay ka na ba pare? It is like you dissapear na eh.

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Wow! tagal na ring hindi ako nakakapunta dito. Hehehe...

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Marie said...

Hilarious post!xD
Though, you seriously must consider getting out of your mom's house and start living the bachelor life as it was meant to be.
She's cramping your style, like MAJOR, so is your driver and your lady friend.

Sputnik said...

missed ur posts, pare. nice to see u writing again. satire or not ur still the man! keep 'em coming...

投癢癢 said...

Since it is the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late. ....................................................

Anonymous said...

You guys are all stupid.

Anonymous said...

This blog is dead. D-E-A-D. Haha, orcs win, now evolved to jejescum.

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Keke said...

Obviously, lahat ng iritado, TALO. If you don't like what you see, then beat it. Simple lang naman diba? hahahahaha

What a bunch of LOSER HATERS. ugh.

iheartcofi. :x

excess: just really had to react to all the negative CRAP in here (specially one comment na super T.H., so disgusting, napa-comment tuloy ako)

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