Monday, January 09, 2006

The Chronicles of Naida

Will tell you later pare why I called it Chronicles of Naida. Ito na muna for now...



I think I found na my true calling pare. Don't want to sound jologs or anything. Pero I think, I'm better off as an actor rather than a businessman. Kasi when I saw the movie kanina, parang the bigscreen is like talking to me.... as in major conversation pare. It's like I'm seeing na my future sa Hollywood. I would love to play the role of a handsome prince tapos Ysabelle is my princess pa! It was uber cool sana diba? Kaso, I heard na she will get married na pala this June. Shit naman kasi that bakla boyfriend of her eh! I bet she will be sorry for choosing that idiot instead of me. She's missing out on something really big pare. I pity her na tuloy. Tsk.. Tsk... Sabagay, my feelings na naman for her has faded na... I think unahin ko muna my calling as an actor diba. The hell with that biatch. It's her lost kaya.

Pero tama na muna that, I encountered an orc nga pala kanina sa G4 cinema. The hampaslupa! The hell talaga pare! Kainis talaga kanina her kabobohan for letting her cheap celfone make patunog inside the cinema. Shit talaga the ringtone pa. So kadire talaga pare. So I stood up nga and told the bitch with her boyfriend pa na..."Hey you bobo natives! Can't you see we are watching the flick here? If you don't know how to silent your cheap celfones better tapon it na lang up front para it'll be basag na lang so wala ng ingay. Kasi it's really messing with the cool sound effects sa movie!" Tapos I made tingin them sama then sat down ulit. See pare, I showed that bitch diba? As if naman she has something to prove no! Eh so katiting kaya her brain. Tapos her boyfriend pa was like trembling kanina. Hahaha! Served them right no! Fucking imbecile orcs!

So yun na nga diba? I was really irritated na naman kanina kasi some bobo orcs were like making pasabog their katangahan inside an ayala cinema pa! Buti na lang the movie was THAT GOOD for me to really enjoy it! So probably, most of you were asking na why I titled this entry "Chronicles of Naida". Naida kasi is one of our low-IQ, beauty forsaken, native housemaids. The nerve ba naman kasi pare of that basura no. Tama bang to write something about me sa diary nya. The hell! I'm not making pakialam or anything, kaso I really saw it yesterday eh. My mom kasi made utos kay Naida to buy something sa Rockwell together with Mang Andoy -- my mom's stupid driver. So yun na nga diba? The bobong utusan, she left ba naman her diary sa garden. Eh I was like tending sa cactus collection ko. So it was really inevitable for me to made basa her nonsensical journals no. I really dont know if I will laugh up to sawa pare or feel kadire because of what I read from her diary. The loser chimay has something pala in store for me. Hahaha! As if naman I will make patol to a busabos native no? The hell! Asa pa her diba pare. So there you go. I will tell nga my mom tomorrow about the diary eh para for her to fire that loser. Who knows diba, baka one day she will make sigaw na lang na I'm raping her tapos I'll be forced pa to marry a native. Kadire talaga pare the thought of it pa lang. Shit talaga!

One more thing, go watch the Chronicles of Narnia. Kudos to the director and to all the casts. Especially the white queen, Tilda Swinton. Galing talaga her portrayal. I think I love her na nga eh. In case you guys don't know pa. (And as if naman you know something.) Tilda Swinton is the Archangel Gabriel din sa movie Constantine. Classic kasi her beauty eh.

Also, to the guys sending me "love and support" photos at ihatecofi@yahoo.com ... Please. No photoshopped pics you morons.. I'll post lang the totoo ones. And to the guy writing some pathetic erotic short stories, go shove something up your ass and take a picture of it then send it to me baka you'll get a chance pa to get posted here. Loser!



By the way, I got na nga pala my second sticker card for the Starbucks Planner. Also a friendly advice nga pala, Starbucks is an evil corp. So beware! Hahaha!

69 comments:

tinapay said...

duh. so why the hell do you have 2 sticker cards from starbucks if u find their company evil? dumbass.

aura? orcs? katutubo? you mock caffeinerush.. u surely are a rip-off. go to hell! Maybe Satan will find sonmething useful for your talent, fuckface!

Anonymous said...

cheap mo

Anonymous said...

wow making "I LOVE COFIBEAN" image requests? That is so Bryanboy.com like hello. I feel like you are becoming an orc yourself like duh. *rollseyes*

who is so stupid naman to make gaya a famous blogger na. like hello naman as if people will send you lots of pics of them naman noh.

Anonymous said...

My gosh, pare. You're like so uber-delayed telecast na, ha. That Starbs planner you're planning to get is so last December pa. A lot of people are toting it around already. You're so Slovak Republic talaga!

Anonymous said...

Cofibin, bakit mo nirereject ang mga postings namin? Unfair naman itong comment box mo. Mura lang ayaw mo pang ipublish. :(

Anonymous said...

hahaha...this one's great...

Anonymous said...

Chronicles of Naida ka jan... Narnia yun tanga!

Galit na galit ka sa kabobohan namin pero ikaw hinde mo pansin katangahan mo. Pakyushet ka!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Chronicles of Naida ka jan... Narnia yun tanga!

Galit na galit ka sa kabobohan namin pero ikaw hinde mo pansin katangahan mo. Pakyushet ka!


pare, moron ka ata e.... o baka title lang ang kaya mo basahin? kasi, stupid orc ka? read the contents, dimwit! saka wag ka magtago sa anonymous...

tuloy mo lang yan cofibean, inggit lang yang mga yan sa iyo...

Anonymous said...

cofibean.....we support you!!!we love you!!!! Solid Fans of Cofibean Ayala Alabang Chapter
yaki talaga yang mga call center agent na yan ..display display pa ang babaho naman

Anonymous said...

i love you cofibean! you are so tama! all those hampaslupa are nothing but baho orcs! they should just make gulo with the other orcs of their kinds! they're nothing but unggoys kaya!

Anonymous said...

"Chronicles of Naida ka jan... Narnia yun tanga!"
. . . another dumb orc, guys. they can't even speak straight english, or understand what they are reading . . . and again i say "Kill all the orcs"!!! orcs everywhere, it makes me sick.


palamunin@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Let us know if you hit the big screen...

Anonymous said...

" i love you cofibean! you are so tama! all those hampaslupa are nothing but baho orcs! they should just make gulo with the other orcs of their kinds! they're nothing but unggoys kaya! "

Oh pleaasssseeee...!!!
Don't make sipsip to cofibean... you are also an ORC din namn... Mas hampaslupa ka pa sa SKWAKWA sa manila...

== belat

Anonymous said...

"Chronicles of Naida ka jan... Narnia yun tanga!"
. . . another dumb orc, guys. they can't even speak straight english, or understand what they are reading . . . and again i say "Kill all the orcs"!!! orcs everywhere, it makes me sick.


palamunin@yahoo.com


==Come on... don't make pasikat din here! hampaslupa....

Anonymous said...

i think cofibean is way better than bryan boy. all those people tryin to find ways / reasons to put you down just come up with the dumbest things. orcs. hahha!

Anonymous said...

"it's her LOST kaya" ?????

what the heck?
now i am really convinced that you are one stupid dumb pretentious _______... (i don't even know what to call you)...pervert.
akala ko si bryanboy na ang worst na nangyari sa filipino blog scene...
well bryanboy's not really the worst...i do find him funny...
pero...
ikaw pala...
kawawa talaga mga pinoy...
at may supporters ka pa...
this is my first time to post a comment here...and this is just the first...

...i made up my mind...i'm gonna do something about THIS...yeah...someday..
(something like: I HATE COFIBEAN campaign, book, blog, whatever)
so BEWARE...

...bite me...
come on...B-I-T-E M-E...

(i hope you post this comment coz i do know for a fact that you have balls... i mean... whatever...)
you may not give a damn about this but hey...damn you...

kadiri.kadire.kadirs.

Anonymous said...

"it's her LOST kaya" ?????

what the heck?
now i am really convinced that you are one stupid dumb pretentious _______... (i don't even know what to call you)...pervert.
akala ko si bryanboy na ang worst na nangyari sa filipino blog scene...
well bryanboy's not really the worst...i do find him funny...
pero...
ikaw pala...
kawawa talaga mga pinoy...
at may supporters ka pa...
this is my first time to post a comment here...and this is just the first...

...i made up my mind...i'm gonna do something about THIS...yeah...someday..
(something like: I HATE COFIBEAN campaign, book, blog, whatever)
so BEWARE...

...bite me...
come on...B-I-T-E M-E...

(i hope you post this comment coz i do know for a fact that you have balls... i mean... whatever...)
you may not give a damn about this but hey...damn you...

kadiri.kadire.kadirs.

Anonymous said...

Probably that was a typo pare. Hinde naman English professor si cofibean to be error free. In fact even English Professors ay nagkakamali. Told everyoen else na this blog is really controversial. Pati spelling kino-correct. Ang dami ng gumawa nyan dito pare. Even the anti cofibean campaign like the following blogs:

http://cofibean1.blogspot.com

Pero wala ding nangyari. Kung ako sayo, I'll just enjoy this blog. Read on pare and don't act like an asshole.

Ika nga ni cofibean, Stop the crapolas.

Peace to us all!

Anonymous said...

Ang yabang mo biteme to correct cofibean. Ikaw nga check mo spelling mo ng because. For your info deary walang word na "coz" sa dictionary. Swardspeak/gay lingo ata yan. Go mind your own business at wag ka na magpost dito. Mas bobo ka pa kay cofibean.

Also please stop comparing Cofibean with Bryanboy. No match si Bryanboy sa pagiging controversial ng blog na ito.

At sa nagcorrect kay cofibean na Chronicles of Narnia, Pakyu ka sa earth!

Leave the guy alone in doing his craft. Matatalino lang nakakaintindi nito.

Para sa iyo cofibean, isa kang bayani. Mabuhay ka!

Anonymous said...

Si cofibean, mag-aartista?

Saladboy said...

call center peeps... you learn nothing. You earn but you learn nothing, no career growth, palipat-lipat lang ng call center... what will happen to your fucking future.

Thanks for improving our economy though. Wake up nga lang... exploitation yan.

Anonymous said...

i really find your blog very entertaining! nakaka- ease ng stress, as in! your posts were really funny

Anonymous said...

I would've appreciated the movie more if there were penguins in it. Tsk. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to wait for Happy Feet.

Anonymous said...

wow.pathetic.bite me.again.come on.B-I-T-E M-E...
i don't have time right now... so see you later...

Anonymous said...

Yea, u r pathetic biteme. :D

Anonymous said...

oh,wow.because of THIS blog,everyone's pathetic and stupid and tanga and katutubo and evil and bobo and boba and g*go and g*ga and puto and p*ta...wow
what a single blog can make...

hey mr procofibean i think you grew up in a farm...go figure.

_____________________________________
cofibean's version:dude pare,this blog rocks because everyone's bobo na like me...everyone's an orc na.how nice pare.so yun na nga dude pare.pakiss.many katutubo na here in my blog,if he's bobo,she's boba like if he's gago she's gaga naman...and evryone's evil an pathetic like we should go to hell na everyone.this is history na dude pare.pakiss ulit.i didn't expect what a single blog can make pare.uber cool talaga.shit pare.cool.coola.

Anonymous said...

oh i love bryanboy! and contrary to what paula said, bryanboy is way popular than cofibean. why? because cofibean is faceless. i mean, there's not even a single photo of him here. how would you know if you've bumped into the orc-hater?

and bryanboy's blog is believable, mind you. he's got fans all over the world too, globetrotter that he is.

ooops, i think i should have posted this in b's blog. hehe.

but cofibean, please do continue to write. you surely make us laugh especially with the hate comments you're getting.

an orc-free 2006 to you cofibean!

Anonymous said...

katuwa sana, if took a snap of that page in nadia's diary.

Anonymous said...

Before ay nagpopost si Mr. Cofibin ng photos pero ang dami kasing asshole dito kaya inalis nya lahat.

Anonymous said...

cofibean, you're one annoying mofo!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Before ay nagpopost si Mr. Cofibin ng photos pero ang dami kasing asshole dito kaya inalis nya lahat.

January 12, 2006 12:51 AM


****

isa ka pang sipsip... pakitang gilas...
hampaslupa ka rin namn!

== bhe!!!

Anonymous said...

bat naman naka-moderate yung mga posts? hayaan mo lang yang mga orcs na yan na mag-comment, dahil sa kanila lalo ka lang sumisikat. they're just too orcy and stupid to realize that.

Anonymous said...

"Chronicles of Naida ka jan... Narnia yun tanga!"
. . . another dumb orc, guys. they can't even speak straight english, or understand what they are reading . . . and again i say "Kill all the orcs"!!! orcs everywhere, it makes me sick.


palamunin@yahoo.com


==Come on... don't make pasikat din here! hampaslupa....


++++++++++++++++++
another orc? hahahahaha we hate orcs

palamunin@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

[i]call center peeps... you learn nothing. You earn but you learn nothing, no career growth, palipat-lipat lang ng call center... what will happen to your fucking future.[/i]

i soooo agree... i really pity those people working at call centers

Anonymous said...

what can I say? I think bryan boy is good to be true than cofibean. first, bryan boy posted his pictures,2nd, he'd been to different places alreadty (see the pix), nagpakita sya kung ano ba talaga sya... cofibean, he's gud but at the back of mind i still believed that all these things are fake, make believe no proofs... so cofibean, please posts your pictures, your business maybe one time we make dayo then buy something from your popular office, right, also post pictures with you on it.. right???

Anonymous said...

ang saya pala there in the philippines...its so nakakatuwa to read what's happening in the philippines.HOW INSPIRING.you are like ms. universe.there are so many bobos and bobas.losers etc.and there are also new species pa.katutubos.orcs.ano pa kaya ang susunod na lalabas sa butas ni cofibean.sayo naman galing yun diba?or pedeng ikaw yang mga yan.i can't wait n.i don't like waiting huh.dude pare.yun n nga.who is this cofibean ba?why don't you post everyday?uy.maybe you don't have money to buy internet card...or maybe you don't have a pc in your kubo or barong barong.and the pc shop is so far away pa dude.akala ko rich ka as in.why wala you dsl?so you graduated na pala.hay salamat.kasi bagsak k ng bagsak e.hindi ka siguro studious.wal namang taong bobo.bobo lang.atenista ka DAW?ano kayang masasabi nila?totoo kaya.and your pics are so fake daw.wow.but you exerted effort dude pare.you make kuha pics of others and they're yours na.huwaw.i like the comments here.you make people fight and it makes you smile.and you go to different places pa pala.san na ba you nakapunta?you're so kaka talaga.i want to hit you in the face na huh?and you shop online pa.why don't you post those pics?and yun na nga.you hang out a lot in so many cliched elite places.rockwell,atc,"starbs",gbelt,cb.or baka naman pang carinderia k lng or turo turo.and you go to the palengke to shop.wow.and your sex appeal is oozing pa pala like tumutulong saliva.yuck as in kadeers...how's the new yr going for you?well you had a fireworks display in your house.akala ko you made sabog na together with the firecrackers and everything.i think you hate yourself.o sige this is long na pala. post this huh?ok?mwah. ps. if you smell something baho pa again, just remember, the thing closest to your nose is your mouth.baka di mo pa magets.you have halitosis ok?ay.di pa rin?ibigsabihin mabantot ang bunganga mo.ok sweetie?or pede ring ipatanggal mo isa sa 2.pedeng yung nose mo or ung mouth mo.ok? LURV,maam tekla. ay may naalala pala ko...your nickname pala was BURNIK...haha...nakakatawa you. post this ok???

Anonymous said...

Before you can compare Cofibean to Bryanboy.com is he has to show us his picture first. At least Bryan isn't hiding behind anything, and he's been in various magazine articles. Super!

Maybe Cofibean has a face for radio?
-devonpuppet@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

HEY COFIBEAN!

POST YOUR GODDAMN PIC HERE IF UR SO HOT!

WUHOO!

LET'S SEE, YOU CHICKEN!

CGURO PANGET KA TALAGA!

KAIDIRI!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

narnia was great. watched it on the opening day. the effects were nothing compared to potter and lotr, but the storyline was amazing, and it stayed true to the book. narnia has the bedtime story appeal that the other fantasy flicks lacked.

acting career? maybe you'd like to try theater for starters. i mean, i know you're uber gwapo and all, but it does help to have at least a little technical experience.

i'm currently directing a thesis play in ateneo, and in the starting stages of a major production in an inter la salle theater festival. maybe you'd like to do a cameo? nyaha

anyway, good luck to you, and keep the posts coming!


-meeegs

Anonymous said...

bryanboy is high society. all you need to do is to look at his blog and the powerful people he's with.

you're a nobody.

Saladboy said...

Are you:
1. in need of money
2. barok and want to learn english
3. loves monotony
4. not having a social life at night?
5. poor but wants to work

CALL CENTER.... TAWAG KA NA ORC!

Are you:
1. rich, elite
2. don't need money
3. needs career growth and experience.
4. people person
5. partyphile

BUSINESS, MARKETING, EVENTS,... wait and enjoy life while the right job comes!

Call center... career killer!

Anonymous said...

bryanboy is way more famous and fabulous than cofibean no.

Anonymous said...

email of a fag -- palamunin@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

hey, cofibean, we want more....

Anonymous said...

dude, i've read your shit....i really dont care much about what you say but use either tagalog OR english, not that primitive language that you're using right now. it makes you sound twice as stupid, twice as dumb....seriously. its for your own good man.

Saladboy said...

self promotion lang for my blog hahaha, im loving it visit saladboymanila.blogspot.com

love cofibean, real or not, what you think about call centers are true... sometimes

as i said call center... career killer.

Anonymous said...

email of a fag -- palamunin@yahoo.com

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
hahahahahahahahaha

palamunin@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

I love your blog, it keeps me entertained but can you edit this?

It's her lost kaya.

It should be "It's her loss kaya."

But if you don't want to then that's alright :) keep posting!

Anonymous said...

pare ang gnDa mo pare!!!!!!!!!!gOOd wOrK paRe!!!!!!!!fuLL sUppoRt ako saU paRe...........

Anonymous said...

"bryanboy is way more famous and fabulous than cofibean no."

but cofibean would beat that fruity-ass in a street fight any day!!!

w000000 go cofibean!!!

Anonymous said...

@Paula "1. Cofibean is FAR MORE popular than BYANBOY.COm..." LOL! Kinda go to www.bryanboy.com and see the difference with this one? Cofibean never posted any of his pictures with his FACE included and NOT the fuck sign. And bryanboy as fewer fanbase? ARE YOU KIDDING? hahah.. gawd.. kinda check the site again? Use your brain and not your fanatic airhead.

Cofibean's blog is hilarious. No doubt about it. But this will be regarded as FICTION as long as there are NO PROOF for his existence. Anyone can make a blog like this. Look at Chona's blog (chona.blogspot.com). It's a great blog but do you know that the one who wrote that isnt really a maid? But a student from ateneo?

So Cofibean? To make your blog more popular. Post a picture of your UBER GWAPO self and show them to the madla. I'll salute you if you did that.

Anonymous said...

tangina, nakaka bobo to

Anonymous said...

"Chronicles of Naida ka jan... Narnia yun tanga!"
. . . another dumb orc, guys. they can't even speak straight english, or understand what they are reading . . . and again i say "Kill all the orcs"!!! orcs everywhere, it makes me sick.


palamunin@yahoo.com


==Come on... don't make pasikat din here! hampaslupa....


++++++++++++++++++
another orc? hahahahaha we hate orcs

palamunin@yahoo.com

*****************************

yea right.. i am an orc... whoaa.. ang saya...

baka naman pagnkita mo bahay namin eh magmukha kang pulubi...

name mo palang mabaho na..
saka wag ka nga pasikat dito...

baho orc! (trying hard maging cofibean!! )

Anonymous said...

bading to - palamunin@yahoo.com
whats your real name tough guy-tell us - sakay ka lang --bobo ka-your worse than cofibean

Anonymous said...

Wow... never thought that thick-faced bastards like you ever existed. Shut the fuck up you good-for-nothing asshole. Your stupid "pares" are mocking me. You simply suck. That Ysabelle you were talking about made the BEST decision in her life. Dumbass.

Anonymous said...

hey cofibean?


about your linguistic issues.....


It's supposed to be " It's her loss"

not "It's her lost kaya."

as in loss=kawalan?
not lost=nawala...

sorry, i just HAD to correct that.

By the way, who are you calling "pare"?

YOU ACTUALLY HAVE FRIENDS??????

WOW.

elibs ako sa kanila.

Anonymous said...

i ran into this blog while searching for info on the next mango tee at alabang country club. ok sa trip ha. i was really entertained by your posts and the comments here. anyway, when are you playing? i'll be there on thursday. meet tayo. i wanna give you something.

Anonymous said...

hi cofibean... libre nga daw mangarap and there's no one in the way naman kung pursigido ka... yun nga lang... dami moh agad haters dito... the thing is people dun get it nah its UR life... gawin moh lahat ng gusto moh lolz, okei toh blog moh ehh noh??? Controversial nah, most commented pah... tenkz for approving me sa YM... BTW to the person, person ka nga bah??? Kaloka ka ren ehhh of corz meron FRIENDS toh si cofibean... TELL ME WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE AND I WILL TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE... Kung anoh man klase and GOD IBANG KLASE TLGA TOH SI COFIBEAN... meron pah ren syah mga kaPAREHAS ng overview sa life and so on and so forth... AND WALA KA PO PAKIALAM DUN! - bleh!!!

Anonymous said...

Your mind is truly a work of art that Satan would want to marry you, fuck you in the ass like crazy and scream until your intestinal worms would cry "uncle". For some stupid, selfish and illusional reason, you act like you're not a "katutubo". Yet, you're speaking the Filipino language and degrade every person you encounter in your pathetic life - even your family members. If this is some act or a study on how people behave on virtual situations like this, I must say I am impressed. But if this isn't, then I'd advise you to watch your back.

Anonymous said...

tang-ina mo mamatay ka na!!!!!!!

'orc-orc' ka pang nalalalaman.

HULUL!!!

you think you're so cool...you're just like one of the katutubos you've mentioned

"UBOD NG KABOBOHAN, PARE"

Anonymous said...

ahaha..the previous comment is so K.J...
anyway..exchange links tau ok lang? :D your blog is really funny and i love it!

Anonymous said...

OMG. UR SO STUPID reading someones diary? tssss. loser mo talaga. ur gay arent you? haha and Ysabelle made a really good choice. smart girl for choosing him insted of you. fuck you for calling thoose two people bobo natives. well your a Filipino right? well ur a native na rin haha. and oh yah, last thing, atleast she was able to buy herself a cellphone.

Anonymous said...

(sneezing) D O U C H E B A G !!
(sneezing) D U M B A S S !!

Anonymous said...

andami namang anonymouse rito. makapagdala nga ng pusa minsan. hehe.

Anonymous said...

hahahaha!!!nakakatawa hahahaha bakla siguro toh hahahah the way "she??" LOL hahahaha!!! speaks very gay!!!wah!!!chuvanezez!!sister!!!wah
PAKIELAMER"A" hahaha ano ba gagamitin ko? o or a? hahahahaha

baka isa ka sa mga pumunta sa puerto nung nandun ang mga katribo mo hahahaha!!!

Anonymous said...

dude... "it's her lost." tsk tsk tsk... kya ko ikinakahiyang atenista ako dahil sa mga katulad mo...

eto pa... "if you don't know how to silent your chep celfones better tapon it nlang... yada yada yada..." Hanep... I almost fell off my chair when I read that... sorry... I'm OC when it comes to English grammar.... :) If i was the freakin orc, i would have laughed my ass off, with matching gulong gulong pa sa floor... That was really pathetic... "oooh.. i'm fucking petrified..."

fucking chump...

Anonymous said...

it is so very simple with the money that i have why would i go to a public cinema and let anyone you called "natives" ruin my day..



Juan Dela cruz

Anonymous said...

tai mo!!!

Anonymous said...

TAI!!!!! MO!!!!!!!