Saturday, July 28, 2007

Rotten Orcs!!!

Its not everytime pare that I get to watch tv. Pero just recently lang I can't help talaga but laugh at a religious show I've seen on TV. As in literally laughing talaga pare. I even heard my yaya speaking to one of the native muchachas if I was high daw ba on drugs. Tangina dude, why are they making pakialam diba if I'm laughing alone no. I mean, the show was really kakatawa naman talaga. Kasi pare, there was this old lady who was making a live testimonial that she was totally healed by a certain miracle guru that only made ihip and hawak her forehead tapos she got himatay lang, then after that, she was claiming na she was totally healed na daw. As in literally dancing and prancing pare. Prior to that, she was bed ridden daw because of excruciating pain on her back. It was some sort of cancer ata that rendered her invalid. Tapos, when a friend accompanied her to the gathering to get healed, she was complete pa with props -- wheelchair and alalais. Anyways, the funny thing was when the guru made ihip on her forehead and she literally dropped to the floor like a wilted veggy. I thought she was patay na or something kasi I figured the guru must have that uber baho breath that made everyone he spoke to as in up close and personal be like patay na. The weird thing lang pare, after a few minutes, the lady was making kisay pa. Tangina that breath talaga! Just imagine, with just a single ihip lang pare, the person in front of him will drop agad and was making kisay pa! He is special alright. Gifted with special baho breath with healing powers. What made it even funnier was the fact that after the kisayan incident, the old lady stood up as if there's no pain on her back na agad. Ang cool diba? And you know what I think pare? I think they are just making it up that they are healed na. Kasi its obvious naman na it was kahiyaan na diba. It was aired ba naman on national TV pare. So it'll be kahiya if they don't act that they get healed diba? T'was a bunch of crapolas pare. They are just faking it kaya. If you will try to look closer, its obvious naman na they are in sooo much pain while trying to get up and walk eh. Some of them are making ngiwi pa when trying. Tapos you'll never hear from them again after a couple of days because they were all like patay na. How fucking stoopid is that pare?!

Ok dude, im not trying to act as an anti kristo or whatever no. Was just airing my opinion on these shitty programs on tv. Eh its obvious naman na the people behind these programs are earning a lot from it eh. See how their lives remarkably changed from being a busabos preacher to instant millionaires? Tangina, thats what you call as pure panloloko pare. Capitalizing on religion to gain material wealth is soo fucking panloloko pare. They should rot in hell for doing so. Its soo obvious naman na the driving force behind them is Taning diba? I mean, they are not even God's gift to mankind like me. And they don't have what it takes eh. Kaya can't help it talaga but to laugh whenever these shows are on TV pare. Believe me, stand up comedy at its finest! Really good stuff dude. Good thing I'm not that tanga to believe in those gago no. As in asa pa them diba.



Anyways, just got my Iphone. I'm sad land lang kasi it is network locked pa.

69 comments:

Anonymous said...

Aba! New entry! Yipee! LOL! Cofibean, sana every week you have a new entry to replenish my depleted aura :D -==NIX==--

Anonymous said...

PS: Dont make pansin na lang to those bobo, rotten orcs! ;D
-==NIX==-

Anonymous said...

i have 2 agree... damn those capitalist preachers! how much was the iphone?

Anonymous said...

religion. it's how people get quick cash.

it IS the opium of the masses.

me said...

hey!love your blog!!! how'd you get your iPhone?...wanna give me one?..haha..

meL said...

hey!love your blog!!! how'd you get your iPhone?...wanna give me one?..haha..

Anonymous said...

nice, an early update for a change

keep it up man!

oh how i wish get my iphone soon

Anonymous said...

I on the other hand, don't think that they were in pain in the first place. Haha.

I like reading your blog. Keep it up!

Anonymous said...

man, cant you speak straight english? youre such a poser... imitating pinoy celebrity stereotypes... the baduy ones pa. its ironic how you sound like the "baho orcs" you talk about so much... i bet you got trained to speak english at some call center then just added the conyo pussy "pare dood stoopid" accent to your blogs just to sound authentic. if you really grew up with the self-proclaimed class you so exaggeratingly insinuate with your faulty taglish and obsession for branded products, you wouldnt make all those subtle yet noticeable grammatical errors. plus, you make us well-off people seem so uncivilized... its not like we hate on the less fortunate 24/7. we have more important things to worry about... who cares naman talaga diba? anyway, you prolly use a thesaurus for all your high-and-mighty words pero you use them naman the wrong way. tangina. who talks that way naman? its very unnatural... and very fake. get off your high horse, baduy e.

if your aim is to get readers by talking controversy then i applaud you. you got what you wanted. just stop making us look bad.

Anonymous said...

And you, the person who posted right above me is such a pain in the ass. Ika nga ni cofi, don't you have a life ba pare? Shit! You even made yourself a part of the elite. Yep, u are part alryt --- as a social cliber.

Kudos to you cofi. Bash those rotten orcs!

Deanne said...

hehe i can't believe that some people would take this seriously. loving your blog! hope to read some more soon.

to those "orcs" who insist on bashing this blog - please please lang, get a life.

Anonymous said...

Kaya nga may disclaimer eh.. let us make this place an orc free society..

Anonymous said...

wrong grammar ka pa dude. if you cant speak english straight, dont try so hard. good lord, youre all baduy... feigning class. this is what happens when you give poor people a chance to learn. they use and abuse. haha.

And you, the person who posted right above me is such a pain in the ass. - "are" such a pain in the ass.

You even made yourself a part of the elite - sentence fragment. you make no sense.

Yep, u are part alryt --- as a social cliber. - ouch.. im a cliber. what the hells a cliber? tangina! im part alright? you make me laugh.

later wannabes. =)

Concerned... said...

aha...for out of abundance of the HEART, the mouth SPEAKS!

if your heart is full of thanksgiving, praises and thansgiving will come out to your mouth.

but if your heart is full of insecurities, nonessential things, trash, and worthless things, it will eventually come out to your mouth.

Sabi nga, ang isda ay nahuhuli sa bibig.
Kaya nahihirapang umunlad ang Pilipinas dahil sa mga taong walang paa para tumayo at nasa likod lamang ng mga mayayaman nilang pamilya.

An Indiyo criticizing another Indiyo. Donya Victorina? Haha!

Bino/Geno said...

You should have known that Iphone is locked with At&T. That is why it will not be released in Asia until June 2008.

Mafi Mook Killer said...

To this person:

Anonymous said...

wrong grammar ka pa dude. if you cant speak english straight, dont try so hard. good lord, youre all baduy... feigning class. this is what happens when you give poor people a chance to learn. they use and abuse. haha.

You're no different from the person you are correcting. You both are morons.

And you, the person who posted right above me is such a pain in the ass. - "are" such a pain in the ass.

Correct. But still, corrected by another idiot.

You even made yourself a part of the elite - sentence fragment. you make no sense.

Where's common sense when you need one

Yep, u are part alryt --- as a social cliber. - ouch.. im a cliber. what the hells a cliber? tangina! im part alright? you make me laugh.

Obviously, this person couldn't decipher a typographical error. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

later wannabes. =)

Oh. Why say goodbye to yourself at a time when I'm beginning to have fun. Tehe.

ackie said...

i've been reading ur posts for quite a while. i may not totally agree with everything say but still they're good reads. (^_^)

enwi, forgive me if it's too sudden, intrusive or anything but i just wanted to ask... do u bliv in god?

i'm cool with it whether or not u'd answer to this question (well i'd have to be)... so there. (^_^)

Anonymous said...

get a life? here is my life! duh! haha. ang eng eng mo naman to buy iphone tapos maghahanap ka ng network sa Pinas nyan? duh?!!! onting research naman jan..! oh well, tnx for widening my vocab, the stoopid and uber. how lame?!! saan ka nagaral? sa kanto? e baka charlatan ka lang. oww, tumitingin na yan sa dictionary. grabe! buti pa some baho orcs, mabaho man, muka mang orcs may brain naman.
ow wait, pls. i dont intend to insult anyone here ah, not even U (cofibean). dont misunderstand me.

Anonymous said...

Uber funny talaga mga stoopid orcs here! Duh?! Di ma-getz it's all for fun! For sure cofibean knows how to speak English straight, kaya lang, boring naman if he writes pure English dito eh di wala ng "stoopid", "uber", "kalachuchi" dito?! D b?! Di na ako magvivisit here if he writes in straight English coz it would be UBER BORING na!

Anonymous said...

iphone in the philippines? haha!
come on dude, how lame could that be? can't you think of something else to make payabang na ba? it's getting obvious tuloy that you either are making it up to show how filthy rich you are which is probably not true or maybe stupid lang talaga thinking that iphone is going to work over there. haha

Anonymous said...

Man your english sucks! Trying hard jologs

Anonymous said...

awts, ngaun k lng nkakta ng mga albularyo? dmi nyan s imbstigad0r. heheh dmi mu p dpat mlaman t0l.

- deys txt misigs is bring 2 your bay:

ipod iphone from amerikaans

bebetzi said...

Wow cofibean, people are all gettin heated with your blog post! I'm probably gonna be the first one to comment on what the post was actually about - religious scammers lol. I didn't know they're still on the prowl! I found it sad and pretty funny actually, and if I'd seen the show I probably would've laughed my ass off too.

And as for everybody else, if you've made it to the end of the blog post, you obviously understand taglish. =) No need to hate, it may have been over used, but think about it, you do speak taglish too. ^_^

Anonymous said...

TUMIGIL NGA KAYO! PARE PAREHO LANG NAMAN KAYONG MAY MGA KUTO SA BULBOL! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Dence said...

You really have a nice blog. Nakakatuwang basahin at entertaining. Orcs should not take this seriously, obvious naman na katuwaan lang ni ihatecofi ito. Sino bang rich kid sa tingin nyo ang magtitiyagang maglagay ng Google Ads from Adsense kung talagang mayaman na siya?

Anonymous said...

gago ikaw lang may kuto sa bulbol!

anu ba naman yan hanggang ngayon may nagcocomment parin ng masama sa clog mo cofi? may i suggest lakihan mo yung disclaimer and in bold letters para mabasa ng mga natives na to.

Anonymous said...

I beg to differ. Kaya naman yumayaman ang mga mayayaman dahil amrunong silang magisip kung ano ang pinagkakakitaan. Sa tingin nyo ba kung tulad nyong orc si cofi eh maglalagay sya ng google adsense dito sa blog nya? I doubt it. Wala kasi kayong inisip kundi ang magpacute at pumorma kahit na wala na kayong pera. Shet!

Anonymous said...

Kung hindi ka ba naman sangdamakmak na kakupalan at katangahan! Matagal pa bago lumabas dito sa Pilipinas ang unlocked na iphone! Bobo!

Anonymous said...

Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."
1 Corinthians 1:31


Choose Humility

I would like to take a break from the series on God's Word to talk about humility. I always joke that I am the humblest person I know. This statement itself tells us something about humility. As soon as we feel accomplished about some aspect of who we are or what we have done, our tendency is to point to ourselves and say, "Look at me!" Sometimes boasting is in our heart; other times it comes out in our speech, actions, or demeanor.

On the other hand, there are some who would say they are not proud, nor do not feel they have anything to be proud of. I remember friends in high school saying that they are worthless because they are not the best at anything. These kinds of people are constantly putting themselves down. Yet this approach is not biblical humility. This is false humility for it does not reflect truth.

The truth is that everyone is created in God's image, everyone has sinned, and that everyone can be redeemed through Jesus Christ. As a teacher, my wife supports the use of uniforms. By wearing uniforms, students cannot use their clothes to project their special image. Our standing before God is like a school uniform. Nobody sticks out for what he or she is or has done in this world; rather, all believers are under God's grace.

Christians know that they are to be humble but so often do not practice humility. We forget that humility is a part of Christian character that we must choose to demonstrate. Peter gives two commands about humility: clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, and humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God (1 Peter 5:5-6). Humility is indeed a character trait that we should actively desire and grow in.

How can we clothe ourselves with humility? Christian Humility is well defined by Paul: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others (Philippians 2:3-4). Jesus is our great example of humility. Before Jesus was to return to the Father, he tied a towel around his waist. This was to prepare himself to serve the disciples by washing their feet (John 13). He chose to take on (clothe himself with) the attitude and actions of a servant. To clothe ourselves with humility speaks to the kind of attitude we adopt toward God and one another in the Body of Christ.

Paul tells us more of the humility of Christ in Philippians 2:5-11. This passage describes how Christ came from heaven to earth to die a sinner's death on a Cross. Why would God the Son choose to come to earth? He did for our sake: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness (2:6-7). After the example of Christ, we are to center our lives around others in servant attitude and actions toward them.

There is a great impediment, though, to putting on the towel of humility: our own cares and concerns. The NIV starts a new sentence at verse 7 with "Cast." But the NAS is closer to the original language when it says, "Humble yourselves…casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:6-7). What is this passage saying? The way of humility is submission to God. We submit to God by first letting go of ourselves (our concerns, anxieties, self-sufficiency, self-preservation) and then letting Him care for us.

Are we so busy trying to control and secure our own futures that we do not want God to help or interfere? If so, then we will become overwhelmed with our own lives, for we were never meant to be in control. What becomes of our humble service to God and others? It is overrun by self-concerns. We cannot look out for others' interests and needs when we are focused on ourselves.

When we choose humility, God frees us from the never-ending task of trying to control our lives. We admit that we do need help and are powerless. We must find our faithful, mighty Creator sufficient for our needs. Then we can boast not in ourselves, but in the Lord. This is what we mean by giving God the glory.

Let us consider how we might choose to put on the towel everyday by humbly serving our God and others around us.

Kapanalig said...

SA LAHAT NG NAGIIDOLO KAY COFIBEAN

-----

PUTANGINA NYONG LAHAT! MGA LINTA! TAGAHALIK NG PWET! MGA IPOKRITO! MAGSAMA-SAMA KAYONG LAHAT SA IMPYERNO!

Anonymous said...

Manood ka na lang ng bangayan between "Ang Dating Daan." (ni Soriano) at ang "Bagong Daan" (ni Manalo).

Maaaliw ka sa mga paninira nila sa isa't isa.

Minsan nga pinag awayan nila sa channel nila kung ang Dyos daw ba ay may puwit. Ang argumento ng kay Soriano, meron. Ang kay Manalo.. wala dahil Espiritu daw ang Dyos.

Ang sa akin lang eh, paki ba ni Lord kung me pwet sya o wala. Ang mahalaga kelangan lahat tayo ay may pagmamahalan.

Dapat ang dalawang bagong tatag na relihiyon ay maging mga mabubuting halimbawa ng kabutihan at pagmamahal ng Dyos.

Di nga ba't ang lahat ng masama ay gawa ng Diablo? Ang lahat ng namumutawing ikakasira ng iyong kapwa ay sa Demonyo? Samakatuwid! Ang anumang pag-aaway na namamagitan sa pagitan ng dalawang relihiyon ay kagustuhan ng Diablo! Tama ba ako o Mali?

Kaya kung ako sa kanila, bakit hindi nila tignan kung ano ang mabuti sa isa't isa at magsimula doon. Ng sa gayon, ang tanging mamumutawi sa pagitan nila ay tanging mabubuting salita.

Siguro, pag dumating ang panahon na manood ulit ako ng tv at hindi na sila nag aaway tungkol sa pwet ng Dyos, malamang na maengganyo pa akong sumali sa isa man sa kanila.

Sa ngayon, masaya na muna akong maging isang pagano.

Pasensya na sa mahabang komentaryo.

Mabuhay ka Cofibean!

Anonymous said...

Shit ka! TAemo gago!

Billycoy said...

oh crap, you are still using the roaming service of AT&T.

how funny those fools na maniwala sa mga faith healers. baka makagamot pa sa kanila ang pag-inom ng iphone.

Anonymous said...

This is purely crap. I wasted my time reading your blog entries. Shit!

bianco said...

you're fucking LAOS na!

Anonymous said...

Bravisimo cofibean... good read just like ever.. grabe!

a typical choleric girl said...

naloka ako, may nagquote pa sa bible ha? omg. if grammar is such a big deal "Go browse disneyland.com instead" - disclaimer, can't u read? hehe.

jusko ang dating daan daw..god knows.

Anonymous said...

nice post jerk off

Anonymous said...

Si Cofibean gradweyt yan ng AMA!!! Kamusta na sculmate!!!! Miss k na namin ni Jolens!!!

nicole for all mankind said...

cofibean!
all hail pare!
hahaha
you're funnier than rex pare.
i'm an orc too with a good sense of humor.
relax lang the masa, baka you guys will have a heart attack and we'll have to sweep your bodies off the street.

Nicole for all mankind said...

hahah
nice one pare
funny :D

Anonymous said...

The comments are far more entertaining than cofibean's entries.

Anonymous said...

My gosh! Why dont you make pukpok na lang kaya ur pathetic conyotic head sa wall and para you will bleed na to death and para mawala na the ultimo rason why this fucking third world pinas is sooo hirap. Shit kasi your mom for making panganak pa you e. Shit din your dad for raising an idiot for a son. Shit na din ur yaya for not making you lunod at the bath tub while you are baby pa. And shit din ur blog for all the shitty contents written here. Well I guess theres nothing for us to do but to make comment na lang to every trash you write here diba. as in tangina dude. you really made my head so fucking hilo kanina. i thoguht it was kakatawa e its full of crap din pala just like you. as in pakyu ka sa earth men. pakyu ka!

Anonymous said...

Would it make a difference if we invite you sa cell group meeting namin sa Festival Mall Alabang every Sunday at 5 PM?

Anonymous said...

Hindi naman lahat ng ministro ng simbahan ay bulaang propeta.

Marami pa rin ang totoo.

Ang kailangan mo lang ay pag aralang mabuti ang relihiyong kinaaniban mo.

Kung sa tingin mo ay may mali na sa mga tinuturo nila.. aba e mag isip isip ka na.

Delikado na ang mundo ngayon. Nagkalat ang mga demonyo.

Kaya mag-ingat!

Melba in the City said...

Cofibean! Anakan mo ako! TANGINA! NAMAMASA PEKPEK KO SA PAGBABASA PA LANG NG BLOG MO! SHIT KA! HINDOT KA!

Anonymous said...

SA MGA BWAKANGINANG TAGASUPORTA NG BLOG NA ITO:

GUMISING NA KAYO SA KATOTOHANAN! ANG MAY GAWA NG BLOG NA ITO AY WALANG IBA KUNDI ANG DIABLO! HINDI NYO BA NAPAPANSIN ANG GALIT AT PANLILINLANG SA KANYANG MGA SINUSULAT. WALANG COOL DITO. HINDI COOL ANG MAGMURA AT MANIRA NG RELIHIYON NG IBA. KAYA KUNG AKO SA INYONG MGA PUKINGINA KAYO! MAGHANAP KAYO NG MAS PRODUKTIBONG GAWAIN PARA HINDI NASASAYANG ANG ORAS NYO SA GAWAING DEMONYO NA TULAD NITO!

MAGSIDASAL KAYO! MALAPIT NA ANG KATAPUSAN MGA PUTANG INA NYO!

Anonymous said...

Pano nga ulit maglagay ng picture dito? Nakalimutan ko na. Please help naman.

Anonymous said...

Nice blog pare! Keep it up! Kindly add me naman sa friendster mo. Tagal na yung friend request ko hindi mo pa rin approve.

also, magpaulan ka naman ng coolness dude pare. pipila ako.

Minimae said...

Minimae slaps cofibean with a large stinky trout.

Anonymous said...

Grabe.

Iba ka.

You rocks!

Anonymous said...

grabeh i missed reading ur blog..you really make a point kahit ganun no.loveit!

Anonymous said...

My gosh! Why dont you make pukpok na lang kaya ur pathetic conyotic head sa wall and para you will bleed na to death and para mawala na the ultimo rason why this fucking third world pinas is sooo hirap. Shit kasi your mom for making panganak pa you e. Shit din your dad for raising an idiot for a son. Shit na din ur yaya for not making you lunod at the bath tub while you are baby pa. And shit din ur blog for all the shitty contents written here. Well I guess theres nothing for us to do but to make comment na lang to every trash you write here diba. as in tangina dude. you really made my head so fucking hilo kanina. i thoguht it was kakatawa e its full of crap din pala just like you. as in pakyu ka sa earth men. pakyu ka!

Anonymous said...

ETO SAU! ,,l,, (O_o) ,,l,,

-pkaer

Anonymous said...

whatever! super poser naman nito...

Anonymous said...

MGA PUTANG INA NINYO! TITI NYO MAY ASIN!!!

joy-joy said...

ang saya dito!

Anonymous said...

Tangina niyong lahat! Tumawa-tawa nalang tayo please lang!

Anonymous said...

dammit...

stop reading his blog tapos magco-comment kayo ng ganyan... make your own blog douchebags....

friggin cunts..

shitty blog but I like it... humor and stupidity is different... and this blog is aight!

Anonymous said...

ang energetic ng nlog ni Cofibean ah!

girlpinkme said...

So far, this is your only post that I made basa na super mega nag-agree ako. Eh mga loko naman talaga those healers kuno. Haha! I've been making basa your blog for days now. Heck, I''m enjoying it. It's killing my uber boring oras. Full of humor and arrogance!

Damn it! Your conyo disease is affecting me! Eeer... ^^

Anonymous said...

talk about right grammar and flawless english.
yeah. "some tao are really nakakaawa dahil umiikot lang ang mundo nila to their cars, money, parties, payabangan, technology and everything fiscial". and "nagpapaloko sila with faith healers and stuff". but who is more stupid?? And some people are really dumb to believe that having MONEY makes you greater than most. pare, you're such a big dumb hypocrite. totally. and could please turn off your AIRCON? its freezing, man. Btw, you’re really good. Good at insults. Whew.
and i don't know. you sound fake yourself. nakakatuwa ka. nakakainis na nakakatawa. but dude, someday, you'll gonna realize how funny and silly you were and still, you'll wish you never opened the internet. and one more thing,


**keep swimming in shallowness so you'll never drown**

waw, nagsearch ako, mow-del pala yung kamay mo ng iPhone. parang genuine talaga at hindi inedit. sa google.

Anonymous said...

Ang bobo ng nagpost sa itaas.. kamay daw ni cofibean yung nasa iphone. Come on chong, prove cofibean wrong. Ur not that stupid? Right?

Anonymous said...

yeah right.
if you have an item to boast, sure you would post a picture that has your face in it, right?
I mean, anyone could claim that he or she has that possesion and post a picture in it that was taken from the internet.
duh.

Anonymous said...

The prison inmates arent useless any more. They should each be given a 'miraculas vial', they have the ability to talk to Angels and to ask them to materialize a small speck of healthy medication in the empty vial you give them. The prisoners will look closely inside their vials every morning to determine if they accummulated a tiny bit of chemical drug given to them by the Christian Angels. Give them a list of different types of drugs to request for, let them choose wich one drug type they will get manifested inside their vials. Then when it works you have a new drug to study and mass produce.

Develop a small chip thats meant to be the spot where one molecule would be able to appear. First make a nano-box or nano-hole in the center of the chip where the single magic molecule might be found. Once this is done give one chip to each prisoner to put in the vile they each have.

Anonymous said...

nyahahahahahaha!
*thinks: the difference is still the same... :P

Anonymous said...

t@ngina! ang daming nagugutom sa mundo yan pa inaatupag nyo?

Anonymous said...

WOW cofibean LOL ang eksina mo girl. ang tarush ng blog mo pinagkakaguluhan. panalo ka bakla. poppular ka na ate. kaya lang nakakatulog ka pa ba ng mahimbing sa sobrang dami ng maygalit sayo at gusto kang pataying dahil dito sa blog mo. bwahahahaha. ADIK KA BAKLA!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Cofibean! :) I've always really enjoyed your blogs. They are a bit mean albeit very entertaining. All these haters are probably really pissed because they know that it's all true. Sometimes, people need a serious wake up call to realize that a little blue paper and deoderant is essential to everyday life. Not every other day, not every other week, but every friggin day. It saddens me to see that you haven't updated in a while but I figure you're probably a busy person and fending off all these hate comments must be a pain in the ass. Don't worry about the people who hate you. Worry about the people who dont. :) Keep on writing! Hope to see another entry soon.