Saturday, October 14, 2006

Update lang Pare

It was an uber busy week for me pare. Sometimes nga I felt like I don't have a life na. Just imagine pare, my life was like making ikot na lang sa work and more work pa. Tapos Claude pa was always making kwento pa on how great daw Tim Yap for being such a nice boyfriend. The hell pare! As if naman I care no?! I don't even have a lovelife nga tapos she'll make me pakinig pa to some of her boring kwento no. I swear pare, if ever I get puno na of that kadire love affair, I'm going to say right in her face pare to fuck off talaga. Sometimes kasi, I felt I was being abused na for being such a good buddy to some of my friends eh. Its ok lang kaya to teach them a lesson or two for them to learn. Namimihasa kasi sometimes and they always tend to make asa na lang saken pare. I'm that lupet kasi eh.

Anyways share ko lang dude, my mom talaga is such a weirdo. She bought kasi a trampoline yesterday. I mean, what the fuck was she thinking ba? I'm her son kaya so she should learn na to give us some kahihiyan no. I just can't imagine my stupid matanda ng mom bouncing using that trampoline. Buti na lang pare she told us that it was for my quasi-cousins daw. The hell talaga pare! Buti pa my cousins, they got what they wanted from my parents, ako I need pa to make uto my girlfriend before to buy me yosi pa. Shit talaga! I'm starting to hate those monkeys na naman.

Tapos yesterday pa, some orc-like katutubos really ruined my aura at G4 pare. I went there kasi to buy the lean shake formula from GNC as a meal replacement and to buy na rin sana some undergarments from Armani. At the escalator going up, there was this katutubo who was really likot and from time-to-time making bangga na at my back. So I confronted him nga, I told him, "Are you bakla ba?!". I never thought pare na he was with his tribe pala. I think there are six of them who all turned to me because I confronted their kalahi no. Good for them pare, I'm an animal lover, because if not, probably most of them will go home all like patay na. So I just told them na lang na I don't make patol to bakla natives no. Good for them talaga.

So yun na nga diba? I've lost my gana na to continue on with my agenda yesterday. So I called na lang Hilariously Stoopid to pick me up kasi I need pa to replenish my aura. Fuck kasi those bakla natives eh!

Probably, I'll just buy na lang later.

81 comments:

garytarugo said...

Buti pa my cousins, they got what they wanted from my parents, ako I need pa to make uto my girlfriend before to buy me yosi pa...

ok lang yan. di ba dati nga pati internet card pinapabili mo pa sa gf mo? hehe.

Billycoy said...

Buti na lang you dont make patol with those animals, kasi they will spill their juices on your expensive clothes and will make kalat their bloods on the floor and escalator. baka you wont step in G4 next time kasi mangangamoy na their malansang blood there na.

komentista ala bloggista said...

uh noh cofi... kawawa ka, pano na if you run out of "lean shake" and you're not able to eat na? then you'd probably shrivel up, wither and die?! and what's worse, you'd die without any undergarments on! bad, bad, bad.. if you won't die from starvation, there's a good chance that you'd die becasue of a stampede. all those orc-like creatures you've unabashedly been praising here would finally realize that their ultimate purpose in life is to fulfill your lifelong dream, that is to die in the hands of the orcs. way to go!

but enough of the death-wish thing noh. a lot of people certainly don't want you to die soon. panu na kaya kaming mga beautiful people who patiently wait for your entries?

whaaat?! i just realized that you have no girlfriend. bakeet?! you're wasting your good looks! panu na ang mga girls who are literally swooning and salivating in front of you? maybe it would be good if you can at least make the sacrifice noh. have a different girlfriend for each day (ala george clooney) so that you could spread the goodness that is cofi... i'll the first in line... yummy!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
so atenista said...

mehn, why drink lean shake as a meal replacement? if you wanna be slim talaga, just don't take in anything at all.

like before, i know this friend who just ate skyflakes (not blueskies ha. just look at what it did to judyay) and just drank water. effective, mehn.

hope narecharge mo na aura mo.

boy bawang said...

thst how-much-is-that-blog thing is so irritating kaya. it insulted me kaya as in pare. it said my blog is worth 0 bucks daw. samantala your blog is worth 114,037.08 dollars. maybe because of my cheap screen name na rin siguro. and the way you talk really inspires me kaya. as in making gaya to your language. you rock pare. although my screen name sounds like those orc's corniks na tigpipiso. why don't they try planters kaya. it is more delicious kaya

Anonymous said...

dude pare, are you turning emo na ba coz of your life being all loveless? man.. that sucks pare.

migs the manila gay guy said...

nakakatawa your online character ha! you're so badiiiiing! i like u!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Meirgen Avrasjka said...

Pano naman magkakagirlfriend yang bruhang cofi na yan e lalake ang type nyan e. Bakla native ren yan!

Bembol Roco said...

Ako second sa line pare ha... :*

conundrum said...

awww thats too bad... pabayaan mo na lang that Claude and Tim Yap kasi they deplete lang naman your aura diba? saka please lang take care of yourself lagi. don't keep on confronting those orcs. pano na lang kami kung pagtulungan ka nila? pano na your face value eh your our god pa naman with your guapo physiognomy.

Anonymous said...

wala nang sense ung entry mo..

i dunno, just got bored.

baka kaya walang gf yang si cofi ay dahil bakla siya. haha, if i were the guy u confronted sa g4, i would have said, "yes, bakla ako, that's why im making bangga u so ul not be too busangot na and realize an ur not alone and marami kang kafederacion"..harhar

Anonymous said...

I think there are six of them who all turned to me?


I think there WERE six of them who turned to me

!!! ano ba.grammar check please!!!

Gabz said...

ayos to!

Anonymous said...

buti pa yung nagbebenta ng valium, na-approve ang comment.

Anonymous said...

boy bawang said...

thst how-much-is-that-blog thing is so irritating kaya. it insulted me kaya as in pare. it said my blog is worth 0 bucks daw. samantala your blog is worth 114,037.08 dollars. maybe because of my cheap screen name na rin siguro. and the way you talk really inspires me kaya. as in making gaya to your language. you rock pare. although my screen name sounds like those orc's corniks na tigpipiso. why don't they try planters kaya. it is more delicious kaya


kaya naman ganun dahil wala namang mabasa sa blog mo eh. ang hirap pang inavigate. leche!

Anonymous said...

anak ng!
if i wanna buy valium i'll buy the most expensive na!
amputah.
who accepted that comment?!
the fuck with that guy.indio amp.
hey,i'm third in line.
sky diving tayo? to replenish your aura.
i love you baby.hehe.wag natin sabihin kung cno ka ha..sssshhh...

CofiHater said...

GUYS! HE FELL FOR IT! I GOT THE IP ADDRESS OF COFIBEAN WHEN HE VISITED MY BLOG. HELP ME FIND SOME INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDIOT AND LETS PUT HIM TO JUSTICE... I THINK ONE OF THEM IS REGISTERED TO AYALA CORPORATION. EMAIL ME WHAT YOU KNOW AT JHIGGINS35@YAHOO.COM.

210.213.100.35, 202.163.209.165, 203.167.117.2, 210.1.73.2

bugger said...

All I got:

210.213.100.35, PH PHILIPPINES MANILA MANILA MGOC10K CORPORATE

202.163.209.165, PH PHILIPPINES MANILA MANILA HOME CABLE

203.167.117.2, PH PHILIPPINES CEBU CITY CEBU EASTERN TELECOMS PHILS. INC

210.1.73.2 PH PHILIPPINES - - PHILIPPINE LONG DISTANCE TELEPHONE COMPANY

gibbs cadiz said...

i have no doubt that cofibean is a fairy. but he's a fuckin' funny fairy, so let him be. there IS value in subversion and transgression. :)

Anonymous said...

omiged cofibean dude, you're such a loser pare, i mean, you need hilariously stupid (in your words) to pick you up from a mall? what the...? maybe you'll get lost or something?

dude pare 'tol, grow up. hehehe.

labs you. .!.

Anonymous said...

cofihater .. ur so pathetic .. bat di ka na lang magsuicide? lol.

ASIATIC NEIL said...

You are so nakakatawa talaga, dude. hahaha.

Dami niyo po palang cofibean haters. anyways, I can't blame them. Good luck on your confrontation. They might be able to trace your location. ^_^

Pero, is it really who speaking of too much hatred to the commoners of Philippine intelligentsia? You're so mean. Median and mode. Haha.

Will link you! ^_^ What a good read.

Anonymous said...

hey cofi... have you heard the latest PLDT DSL CSR scandal? Listen to this:

http://jepoyeng.blogspot.com/2006/10/pldt-csr-ptsd-ina-mo-rin.html

Anonymous said...

oh my
how desperate can u get?
u r so f---ing jealous of cofi kya ka nag kakaganyan..
i pity u, u poor li'l thing..
cge go, use the IP address to locate cofi..
you can't put him down no matter how hard u try.
and as for u and your stupid blog, get a life!

lifeisabitch_1 said...

sobrang salamat at natanggal na ung endorser ng cheap valium. hehehe. ui, ung desperado na atang nag post pa ng IP add ni cofi..tsk tsk tsk...

dalaifollower said...

i love cofibean!

Anonymous said...

are you from U.P?

Anonymous said...

another entry please? your blog is already getting uber boring pare... don't be like those cheap orc blogs...

Anonymous said...

bakit hindi na na-update ang comments dito?

femme said...

irritating yet uber fun to read. witty words coupled with hilarious perspective on things. i think i'm falling for you cofibean ;p

zedko said...

cofibean bakit nga pala wala kang lovelife? uber busy ba or iba lang talaga preference mo? nagtatanong lang po! kaaliw pa rin post mo kahit papaano!

Anonymous said...

brentboy you suck... conyo people like you only act rich with your not so intellectual language... animo lasalle... but i still love your blog haha! =P

Anonymous said...

ay naku cofi kunyari ka pa na nabangga ng bakla eh ikaw yata ang nagbangga para ma molesta mo sya. if i know super touch ka pa sa kanya. why are you so bakla ba?

Kupaloids said...

Eto na ang pinakakupal na blog na nakita ko. As in kupal ang lahat ng nabasa ko. Pati mga comments ay punong-puno ng kakupalan. Shet! Mukhang kinukupal na rin ang etits ko just by being here. Makaalis na nga at nakukupalan na ako sa pagmumukha ng kupal na may ari ng blog na ito.

Love,
Kupaloids

Anonymous said...

Tanginang yan! Tama bang magpost pa ng Ip ang ibang tao. Sobrang pathetic!

Addictus Noypi said...

Bakit nawala na yung Valium? Meron pa naman akong pera sana na pambili. Kung kelan naman nagipon pa ako tsaka naman biglang nawala. Shiet na malagkit pare.

Anonymous said...

Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ako sa nakaisip na fairy daw si Cofibean. E di ba yung mga fairy e yung nag gragrant ng wish at may pakpak? I don't see any magical sa blog na ito. Puro lang kayabangan at pang aalipusta.

Anonymous said...

Asiatic Neil, Tang-ina kang bakla ka! Dito lang pala kita makikita sa blog ni cofi. Please lang no! Humada ka na lang at wag ka ng magkalat dito. Sa lahat ng hindi pa nakakakilala sa baklang Neil na yan, isa syang mujer na humada sakin before na binigyan ako ng tulo. Isa syang Bakla! Bakla! Bakla!

Anonymous said...

Guys, kung totoong si Cofibean nga yung mga IP na nakapost ay siguradong hindi ipopost ni cofibean iyon. I mean, come on guys, the writer is not that stupid naman siguro. Or is he?!

Anonymous said...

Sino ba talaga si Cofibean?

Anonymous said...

Grabe ka dude pare mare sis! Iba ka talaga. Dapat ay sinabunutan mo nalang yung bernang bumangga sa yo sa mall. Tapos nagpacircle-circle kayo sa escalator pababa. Malamang na instant sikat ka na agad sis! With matching bruises pa sa chin. Siguro by then ay Chinchin na tawag namin sayo! Tarush! Mas maganda siguro kung Baklush!

Anonymous said...

Baka naman ikaw ang Bakla at trip mo lang yung guy?

Anonymous said...

To the guy asking if cofibean is from up.... Haller! Hindi kami mga bobo no! Matatalino ang mga taga UP at were not going to waste even a single brain cell writing crap like these. Please lang no!

Anonymous said...

Bakit parang konti ata ang comments ngayon? Just like what I said before: Cofibean is just a fad, sooner or later ay malalalos na rin sya tulad ng iba pang writers. One hit wonder lang baga. See, its happening right now. Lets give this guy two more month, bagsak na ang blog na ito.

Conyo Hater said...

TANGINA KA! PAG AKO ANG NAKABANGGA MO SA MALL AY BAKA MAGKAGRIPO KA AGAD SA TAGILIRAN. HINDI NA KITA BUBUHAYIN ANIMAL KA! TANGINA MO GAGO! TANGINA MO GAGO! TANGINA MO GAGO!

Anonymous said...

Me heart you na. Gosh! As in!

Anonymous said...

Bakit yung ibang posts ko dito sa comments ay hindi pa rin naapprove hanggang ngayon? Natatakot ka ba cofi?

Anonymous said...

Peeps, wag kayong masyadong magpa apekto sa blog na ito. kilala ko ang tao behind this blog. And I'm telling you na he is the exact opposite of the person he is trying to portray. Sa Tondo nakatira ang author nito. Isa syang certified squatter dahil sa nakikigamit lang sya ng computer sa isang computer shop before ng barkada ko. Sayang lang at hindi nasave yung password nya sa blog sana ay filthy sikat na kami ngayon. Believe me pare, hindi ito totoong tao. Isa syang ULTIMATE POSER NA LOSER PA!

Anonymous said...

Meal replacement drugs? Ewww! So kadire ha. Siguro sobrang taba mo na no? Kaya kailangan mo magpapayat na. Yucky! As in yucky ka! Joklang baboy! Dapat sayo ay kantahan ng -- "Cofibean baboy! Palaboy-laboy, Tikboy!"

Anonymous said...

Seryoso ka ba sa mga pinopost mo dito pare? Medyo ingat ka lang dahil nasa Pilipinas ka pa rin. Pag nalaman namin kung sino ka ay baka hindi ka na umagahin sa mundong ito. Isa ka pa ring PILIPINO tandaan mo yan! Ang pagkakaiba nga lang natin ay BUGOK ka nga lang ng iluwal ng nanay mo. Baka nga sa pwet ka lumabas e.

Anonymous said...

Cofibean, kindly post kasi your photo now para naman mag kaalaman na kung totoo ka nga o hindi!

Loser said...

Boooo! Pinipili mo lang mga comments mo! Post mo kasi lahat. Tignan lang natin kung kaya mo! Hahaha! LOSER!

Anonymous said...

Ang tagal naman ng libro ni cofi. I'm itching na to buy for myself a copy.

Anonymous said...

Sa kung sino ka mang bakla na nagtatago sa likuran ng blog na ito ay hinahamon kita ng suntukan. Mano-mano lang. Walang gamit. At ng makita natin kung talagang meron kang ibubuga. Hindi yung puro ka lang yabang. O baka naman ay gusto mo lang akong sabunutan. Ok lang din kung yun ang laban. Dahil babae po ako at hindi baklang tuladmo. Ang pagkakaiba lang natin ay may pekpek ako at boobs na para sayo ay hanggang panaginip na lang. Black belter ako ng Karate. Call ako kahit saan. Kahit na lalake ka (kung lalake ka nga talaga) ay papatulan kita. Hindi ako natatakot sayo! Gago!

Reader said...

sa totoo lang ha

i find this blog as a relief from a stressful day.

kahit na medyo nakakasar minsan ang mga nababasa ko ay ok lang dahil i know that i have a bit of cofibean in me.

i really commend na balls of this guy to say what he wanted to say without sugar coating anything.

i think i love you na PARE!

*Wink!*

Anonymous said...

Isa kang tae! Bakla ka ba?

Anonymous said...

Isa kang tae! Bakla ka ba?

Anonymous said...

Paano ba malalaman ang information about IP? Better question is paano ba malalaman ang IP? Mas better question is, ano ba ang IP? Please naman paki-explain. Ahihi.

Anonymous said...

At buhay ka pa palang jokalabs ka! Kala ko before ay napatay ka na. Hanga din ako sayo ha! Dapat sayo tawag ay boy palos. Sana mapasama ka sa political killings na ginagawa sa ngayon. NALALAPIT KA NA!

Anonymous said...

Ano yung BUSANGOT?

Anonymous said...

I HEART YOUR BLOG PARE! Ang galing!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
pukinginamogago said...

e kung di ka pala siraulo e. para ka kasing tae na kakalat-kalat sa g4 kaya ka naaapakan. next time nga magtago ka pag daraan kami ng hindi ka umaalingasaw.

Anonymous said...

ANG TAGAL NAMAN NG UPDATE!

Anonymous said...

I would like to take this opportunity to greet the following people who made my life more bearable:

My mom who is attending to my niece and my dad who is abroad right now working his ass off for us. I wanna say "hi" din to my two older siblings, Ning and Marc. Also, I would also like to say "hi" to my pangga who is working right now. I love you bebe. Lagi mong tatandaan yan ha? And to all my friends namely: Marnelli of HSBC Alabang, Allan, Stefan, Mike, Tony, Troy and Mo. My heart goes out to you'all.

One more thing, FUCK YOU DUDE!

Anonymous said...

Cofibean: Brilliant writer who captures the heart of many through his witty remarks and very unique way of expressing his self. Way to go dude! Kudos!

Anonymous said...

Alam mo cofidude, hindi ka born rich. Kasi you are rich talaga as you claim, hindi ka na mang uuto pa ng yosi from your gf before.

Coolguy said...

Ey&!^#@@#&^#! What a coincidence dude! I'm also using that lean shake. You know what? We should hang out sometimes. We have a lot in common kasi eh. Im also a certified conyo just like you. Shopping bonding tayo minsan.

Anonymous said...

Parang babae naman ang author ng blog na ito. Gravicious.

Raymond said...

Hi, I am Raymond. 5'10" 65 kgs. Muscular guy from Manila. TESDA certified massage therapist. I only charge 500 pesos for a whole body massage. You can reach me at 0922-392-8312.

Anonymous said...

Grabe naman si Cofibean, bakit ba kailangang piliin pa kung ano ang ipopost sa hindi. Pag akin itong blog na ito baka lahat ay i-approve ko. Approve mo kasi cofi lahat ng comments para mas masaya magbasa.

Also, please delete yung nagpost ng bastos na photo sa itaas ng comment box mo. Nakakadistract kasi yung malaking tite e. Obvious namang computer enhanced yung photo.

dalaifollower said...

WHO THE HELL USED MY NAME!?! LOSER!
GET UR OWN IDENTITY DUMBLEDORK !!!!

dalaifollower said...

if i have one wish to ask from the "fairy" confibean ... wala ng iba. e delete lhat ng comments sa entry na to. ur all draining whatever little positive energy i have left. get out of here.

Anonymous said...

sa anonymous na nagpost kung matatawa ba siya dahil fairy ang tawag kay cofibean, fairy is another word for gay.

oi, sa mga nagsasabi na kapag nakita nila si cofi sa mall eh may gagawin silang masama eh pano naman nyo gagawin un eh hindi nyo kilala si cofi? naman!

Anonymous said...

kaya po d naaprove lahat eh hindi na po makatarungan..lalo na po ung nagpost ng CHEAP VALIUMS FOR SALE sobrang super haba at nakakapatid litid ang kahalayan..wahahah!!! and another thing..kse gusto ni cofi sya lang ang offensive..
hey, san na ung book mo?
ala bob ong ka siguro noh? laging d sumisipot sa book launching..(according to some ha..) at sa mga adik sa blog na to!!! ikasa nyo mga tol!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

Grabe naman si Cofibean, bakit ba kailangang piliin pa kung ano ang ipopost sa hindi. Pag akin itong blog na ito baka lahat ay i-approve ko. Approve mo kasi cofi lahat ng comments para mas masaya magbasa.

Also, please delete yung nagpost ng bastos na photo sa itaas ng comment box mo. Nakakadistract kasi yung malaking tite e. Obvious namang computer enhanced yung photo.


didn't you just contradict yourself there?

peter said...

haay...

ako naman basahin n'yo tapos nito ha. pls?

www.lit.org/author/peterpaulino

fercival said...

cool blog!!! I love it! more! more!!! hahaha.

Anonymous said...

you should ask yourself kng bading ka. gnyan magsalita ang mga bading no.