Ok pare. Just stayed home this Holy Week because orcs are like scattered almost everywhere nowadays. I mean, I made a list na nga on where not to go to this Lenten Season.
1. Boracay : This is a big nono place for sosy people round this time. The place is literally littered with baho natives and bobo orcs. The buhangin is very panghi na rin around this time of year because of the ill-mannered natives who's making paikot-ikot pa sa sand. Yeah... literally spreading skin diseases and baho smell sa buhangin. So if you're still kulit and made punta pa rin to bora, please don't forget to wear your thickest flip flops and make dala na rin alcohol to rid yourself of some skin diseases coming from the baho natives. A gas mask is also a must! It's better to enjoy na lang the beach on TV. That's what I did pare, I just recorded na lang Bora the last time I went there. So I am now enjoying the beach minus the natives and orcs right at the comfort of my own room.
2. Puerto Gallera : The bakla-mecca during this time of year. It's like all the baklas from all over the Philippines do a pilgrimage to this place every Lenten Season. So expect loud, flambouyant and baho people along the beach. The shoreline pa will surely be shit-laden because of the luwag ng butthole of those gay orcs. Damn pare! I bet that if a terrorist will blow this place up round this time of year, 99.9% of the bakla population here sa pinas will be like sent na to oblivion. As in wala na. So if you're looking for a quiet place to make dasal this season, literally avoid this place pare. Sayang lang your sandals if you stepped on some gayshit.
3. Bus Stations/Piers : Here is where all the baho loser natives make siksikan to go to the province during this time of year. The vile-stench of the general masa is really evident here. So it is really advisable to bring some cotton balls dabbed in alcohol to put inside ur nose to at least filter the filthy air round this places. Hirap na panahon now pare. I think 95% of natives are carriers na of some hybrid airborne diseases. So stay away from these places. Mura lang kaya domestic flight nowadays to anywhere sa pinas.
So there pare. I made na my top 3 places not to go to this holy week sa pinas. So, if you really care for your skin and your well being, STAY AWAY from these places. But if you have pam-Belo, I guess its ok lang to indulge and have fun. Just don't forget to take at least 1,500 mg of Vitamin C to protect yourself from the native diseases you might get. Mas better if you go to a private resort na lang to enjoy fully your summer vacation.