See pare, the katutubo economy is not just drowning — as in, hinahawakan na ng ankles and being dragged pababa ng system, tapos the government is like, “Oops, sorry ha, thoughts and prayers!” Gano’n ka-wild yung kabobohan, swear.
Tapos eto pa, bro — our congressman neighbor? Grabe, if may Olympics for delulu politicians, gold medalist siya. As in, every time he posts a “working hard for the people” selfie, pare, alam mo na agad:
red flag yan.
Like clockwork.
Kasi after that post? Boom. May bagong sasakyan sa garage pare, may bagong “business trip” to Europe. Business trip saan? Sa Gucci? Sa Louis Vuitton? Sino siya, ambassador of clout? Funny no?!
And dude, the audacity ha — he walks around the village like he owns the whole barangay. Nagpa-power strut pa na parang runway sa Paris Fashion Week. Pero behind the scenes? Luh. He’s calling his assistants kasi “the wi-fi is too slow daw” and he can’t upload his inspirational quote for the day. Nakakabaliw pare.
Meanwhile the katutubo communities? Nagkakandarapa looking for actual support while these clowns are busy making pa-fall sa public with their curated political thirst traps. Like bro, paano nagkaroon ng “softboy era” ang mga politiko? Who allowed this?!
And the best part? Kapag may scandal na lumabas, ayan na — “I was misquoted,” “fake news,” “taken out of context.” Pare, in what universe? May receipts nga eh! The duality, pare. The delusion. The drama. Parang teleserye pero walang redemption arc.
Honestly, if the Philippine economy had a Facebook status, it would be:
“It’s complicated — mostly because of stupid decisions by men who think they’re the main character.”
Eh they're just existing as extras lang naman in my perfect world no.

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