December Update

Dude pare! Tangina! It has been quite some time na since the last time I posted an entry here at my online dicklit. The past few weeks kasi was major sa pagod pare. It was like really draining talaga the left and right galas and fund raising that my stupid mom FORCED me to attend. Tangina talaga dude the schedule that I had. Tapos my native secretary pa was like bobo in managing my time. Why naman kasi when the El Supremo made pasabog some katangahan here sa Earth, her katutubo mom ata was making sahod using some large basins eh. Was really itching na talaga to fire that native. Double shithead talaga pare I tell you. Kumulo talaga my blood just yesterday lang. Tama ba naman to approve an appointment at Alabang around 3 pm tapos my next sked would be at Quezon City at 3:30 pm!!! Shit talaga dude! I'm not like Silver surfer kaya to finish everything and still have time to travel to QC. All I have is an old hilariously stoopid driver which is lapit ng mamatay tapos bagal pa the driving skills. I mean, he can't even do the drift pare down Rufino towers.


Also pare, just kanina lang when I checked my friendster (ihatecofi@yahoo.com). Tangina, now ko lang na notice some baho orcs made some nasty comments on my profile. I mean, how lame was that? As if naman they'll change the idea that they are still stoopid for having such a no-brainer job. Here's a sample pare:

* ako
* Posted 12/27/2007 3:22 pm
* touche!

nice rants.... for an idiot who suffers from delusions of grandeur... :) try seeing a shrink once in a while kiddo... it could really help you get off those fantasies of porsches and shit... and unlike you, those stupid call center agents as you call em are contributing alot to our GNP inasmuch as they have somehow helped their families... :) but anyway, this is a free country... so, i'll respect your opinions on call center agents... ur ignorance (or should i say, mental incapacity) is beyond forgivable... but really, you should consider my advice on seeing a shrink... I mean, a session or two won't cost that much considering you mentioned that you take your girlfriend out for a ride on your porsche... :)

But anyway, I'm (surprisingly) glad to have found your friendster page... I find it rather amusing... cheerio... :) cough cough poser cough cough

Sino daw she called mentally incapacitated? I bet she was referring to herself dude. I mean, the "thing" or whatever she(?) is speak for itself. I rest na my case pare.

Btw,that came from this native orc named Precious... Yes dude, remember Smiggle/Smeagol/Gollum from LOTR? Yep, thats her pare. She's now here sa pinas. Go check her out! Precious a.k.a. Gollum on Friendster!


Also find some "latest" LOTR characters at my friendster profile pare --> http://www.friendster.com/cofibean. Of course im not referring to all the uber cool dudes and dudettes who made nice comments on my profile. Just the "mentally incapacitated" ones lang. As in -- Dai orcs! Dai!

Facial Foot Spa?

Tangina pare.. been itching na rin to write for quite some time now. Been busy kasi with lots of stuff lately. Tapos my aura was like drained pa most of the time because of the right and left stupidity of some of our employees. As in shit talaga!

By the way pare, just wanna suggest pala Chi, The Spa at Edsa Shangri-La. They have this uber nice na spa package which I availed yesterday - The traveller's retreat. So nice talaga the place and the treatment. The biodroga aroma *whatever-is-it-called-again?* wrap is a must pare! Sad thing Claude wasn't available na naman to enjoy the uber relaxing experience. Don't want naman to make libre Hilariously Stoopid that was waiting for me outside for a treatment. I mean, its only 6k pesos lang naman pero diba pare, im not that stupid to waste my money on another stoopid katutubo. They made my ulo soo sakit na nga at the office tapos I'll make libre pa. As in asa pa them pare. Siguro if my mood was good that time, I could have treated him pa for a foot spa sa face. As in! Tangina kasi naman the face of that old guy. I mean there's this cheap native chayote naman for instant face lift diba? Hehe. I remember kasi my yaya once cooked tinola while I was still in Baguio. Tapos she was making hiwa the chayote when I accidentally made hawak to the slices she made. And shit talaga the feeling pare. It was like the balat of my hands was treated with Botox with matching instant peeling pa! I was like crying talaga, so my yaya was like really taranta na that time on what to do. E I was like soo young kaya and beaming with innocence pa. Kaya naman when my mom called I told them that yaya made lagay lason sa food kaya it was sticky. And since I have a paranoid mother for a momma, she fired nga agad the stupid candy-ass maid and announced pa na I was like a hero because of what I have discovered. Hahaha. So funny talaga that scenario pare.

Also pare, I chatted recently at Yahoo chat (The Hot Tub) and shit! I think I have a cyberstalker pare! Below is a log of our chat:

You are in "The Hot Tub:3" ( Come on in for a soak [Notification: We are currently recording IP addresses of all Yahoo! Chat users.] )

Ihatecofi: Any hot chinita chick from makati for coffee tonight? Beautiful chinks only pls. NO maids, gays, citizens of Orcville and jologs! Males, FUCK OFF!

UglyBitch: Hi. Im a Filipina but not from mkti. Is it ok if im not beautiful. Just alluring. 27f/pque/CSR

Ihatecofi: No. Its not ok. Shoo!

ladylou4u joined the room
lincolncyfan joined the room

lincolncyfan: ANY FEMALES FOR CAM CHAT????

lincolncyfan: ANY FEMALES FOR CAM CHAT????

UglyBitch: Alam mo u are stupid. Dont you know that alluring is a synonym for beautiful? I am beautiful. Stupid.

Ihatecofi: You know what? You are the one who is sooo fucking stupid. Just because one is seductive doesnt necessarily makes her beautiful. You should go back to grade school and brush up on your english vocabulary. Now scram, you're messing my style.

sexxy_karina_750: hey guyz

UglyBitch: Really? No its not!@ I have a dictionary with me right now and it said here that alluring means beautiful.

Ihatecofi: Duh! Its not relative! Alluring is somewhat vague and abstract. And its meaning is limited only by pathetic orcs like you. So go pack your lame dictionary and get out from this channel.

UglyBitch: E TANGINA KA PALA SIGURO BAKLA KA! PIKON KA NA BAKLA KA PA! ANG PATHETIC MO! BAKA PAG NAKITA MO AKO MAGULAT KA NA AKO PALA ANG HINAHANAP MO!

Ihatecofi: I'm really sorry to burst your inflated katutubo ego, but I know what I want and ITS NOT YOU! And if ur not stupid, you'll get a hint na agad. Now I'm having doubts na nga if you are really a girl.

UglyBitch: BABAE AKO! Kahit tawagan mo pa ako ngayon!Bigay ko sau cp ko to prove that I am a girl.

Ihatecofi: Thanks but no thanks. The way you conduct your conversation suggests that your social strata is that of the native muchachas. I'd rather catch ebola and die than disgrace myself. So fuck off!

UglyBitch: Sige na nga my frog prince, i'll kiss you na lang and lets forget the fight. So, would you like to meet up with me?

Ihatecofi: Nutcase alert!

- End -

For Our Children's Children.. Tehe...

As in I asked myself literally pare... What daw she said?!

Shit Pare.. Sayang the Cars!

Claude called me yesterday to inform me about the Subic Bay cars. She made sabi lang that one of his tito daw owned one of the unclaimed luxury cars. I mean, why on hell would the government crush such precious rides? Are they insane na ba? I mean those cars when auctioned could sell for millions pa diba! It could even feed and clothe thousands of natives that are lurking the streets of metro wearing ukay ukay shirts lang. Tangina! I was like muntik ng mahimatay when I saw the video clip on youtube. My heart talaga was really aching seeing the BMW X5's and GTO sports car being crushed to zero ground level. I think I said the word shit a thousand times while watching the clip. As in shit talaga! Shit! Shit! Shit!

I remember asking my dad to call Commissioner Morales to at least save one of the remaining luxury cars para saken kasi my car was like sira na. I even heard kasi Congressman Suarez even offered 8 million for one of the luxury vehicles. E my dad was like richer naman than that congressman no. I mean, I've seen his collection of cars and its nothing fancy naman pare. My late Tito Archie has a nicer collection of muscle cars before sa California. I personally liked his 1965-1973 Classic Mustangs Collection. I wonder what happened na to those cars. I'll call nga my tita tomorrow.

Anyways pare, going back to the luxury cars. I was like making hinayang talaga to the thing they did to those precious rides... My aura literally left my body pare upon seeing those uber cool cars being smashed to like oblivion. Tangina! Are they blind ba pare not to see that those are priceless? Just one car is worth daan libong katutubo lives na? I mean, there are many squatter areas worth bulldozing dito sa pinas, why pa the cars? E diba nga mother earth is helping na get rid of all the baho masa by means of sunod-sunod ng storms here sa pinas. Shit lang talaga that the baho natives have power grips kaya naman its so hirap for mother earth to wipe 'em clean na eh. The gorvernment should read na those natural signs pare. Its about time na. I think they should divert na their attentions from being stupid into being matalino by putting an end to poverty. Its obvious naman kasi that the streets are flooded because of the filth these people generate everyday.. clogging most of the sewerage systems dito sa pinas.

Smash na lang those orcs to pieces. Wag lang the rides. Sayang kasi the cars eh.

Rotten Orcs!!!

Its not everytime pare that I get to watch tv. Pero just recently lang I can't help talaga but laugh at a religious show I've seen on TV. As in literally laughing talaga pare. I even heard my yaya speaking to one of the native muchachas if I was high daw ba on drugs. Tangina dude, why are they making pakialam diba if I'm laughing alone no. I mean, the show was really kakatawa naman talaga. Kasi pare, there was this old lady who was making a live testimonial that she was totally healed by a certain miracle guru that only made ihip and hawak her forehead tapos she got himatay lang, then after that, she was claiming na she was totally healed na daw. As in literally dancing and prancing pare. Prior to that, she was bed ridden daw because of excruciating pain on her back. It was some sort of cancer ata that rendered her invalid. Tapos, when a friend accompanied her to the gathering to get healed, she was complete pa with props -- wheelchair and alalais. Anyways, the funny thing was when the guru made ihip on her forehead and she literally dropped to the floor like a wilted veggy. I thought she was patay na or something kasi I figured the guru must have that uber baho breath that made everyone he spoke to as in up close and personal be like patay na. The weird thing lang pare, after a few minutes, the lady was making kisay pa. Tangina that breath talaga! Just imagine, with just a single ihip lang pare, the person in front of him will drop agad and was making kisay pa! He is special alright. Gifted with special baho breath with healing powers. What made it even funnier was the fact that after the kisayan incident, the old lady stood up as if there's no pain on her back na agad. Ang cool diba? And you know what I think pare? I think they are just making it up that they are healed na. Kasi its obvious naman na it was kahiyaan na diba. It was aired ba naman on national TV pare. So it'll be kahiya if they don't act that they get healed diba? T'was a bunch of crapolas pare. They are just faking it kaya. If you will try to look closer, its obvious naman na they are in sooo much pain while trying to get up and walk eh. Some of them are making ngiwi pa when trying. Tapos you'll never hear from them again after a couple of days because they were all like patay na. How fucking stoopid is that pare?!

Ok dude, im not trying to act as an anti kristo or whatever no. Was just airing my opinion on these shitty programs on tv. Eh its obvious naman na the people behind these programs are earning a lot from it eh. See how their lives remarkably changed from being a busabos preacher to instant millionaires? Tangina, thats what you call as pure panloloko pare. Capitalizing on religion to gain material wealth is soo fucking panloloko pare. They should rot in hell for doing so. Its soo obvious naman na the driving force behind them is Taning diba? I mean, they are not even God's gift to mankind like me. And they don't have what it takes eh. Kaya can't help it talaga but to laugh whenever these shows are on TV pare. Believe me, stand up comedy at its finest! Really good stuff dude. Good thing I'm not that tanga to believe in those gago no. As in asa pa them diba.



Anyways, just got my Iphone. I'm sad land lang kasi it is network locked pa.

The Peninsula Manila Privilege Card

Ok pare, I know its kinda tagal na rin since the last time I posted something here. I was kinda busy rin kasi juggling my schedules lately. My stupid secretary kasi was like bobo rin in managing my time. Anyways, just got home nga pala from a night out with my mom. Actually, t'was all purely coincidental that we had a date kanina. Just got kasi my privilege card from Peninsula a couple of weeks ago and I have this complimentary dinner with them (also a special room night). Unfortunately, I made my reservation sabay sa event of my mom with her other fabolosa kalachuchi friends. I called my mom's group, the circle of the kalachuchis because they all smelled like one pare. We have kasi that tree at the back of our farm house in Batangas, so I could easily make the comparison. Tangina talaga pare, my mom kasi coerced me to make mano pa and beso beso with her friends eh. So I was making timpi lang not to wipe agad my face with my hanky because the smell was like really disgusting talaga. And besides, its their reunion no and I'm not a part of their circle kaya. So I just told my mom that I have to leave them because I have a reservation pa at the Nielsen's. They were are the glass atrium lobby kasi. So yun na nga diba. Just bought lang saglit a sourdough bread at the Peninsula Hotel Bakery because everything was like discounted na. Then I called Hilariously Stoopid to pick them up, as usual, the old native was like nanginginig na naman when he got inside the hotel. He's not used to that kind of setting daw kasi. Ang pathetic no? I mean, he's not going to have an overnight stay there or something naman.. I just asked him to pick up the bread and thats it. Ambisyoso old fool no?

Anyways, I just presented my card and told them that I have a reservation made by my agent, June Lopez. The attendant directed me to my table and the rest was history na pare. The buffet spread was really good talaga. I literally pig out kanina. Good thing I ate alone or else I wont enjoy the food as much as I did kanina. Tanga kasi all the people I invited eh. I remember texting a dozen of my friends and none of them replied back. Probably all of their fones are lowbatt na pare. Kasi I even called 3 of my friends, ilang rings lang then busy tones na agad. When I tried to call them again, cannot ba reached na. They've missed out on a great treat pare. So bobo kasi nila for not charging their fone diba. I mean, its not everytime that I call.

Anyways, when I got out of Nielsen's, I thought of checking muna G4 since mukhang tagal pa matatapos my mom. So, I texted Hilariously Stoopid to make me hatid muna. I waited for 15 minutes but no native driver came so I called him instead.. Tangina pare, he was out of reach daw. So yun na nga diba. Since nasa kanya the valet parking ticket I have no choice but to walk na lang papunta to Glorietta. Of all tanginang koopal dude, Hilariously Stoopid was outside lang pala near the cascading water thingie of The Peninsula Manila chatting with one of the native guards. Ciempre diba, I was really infuriated talaga so I made sigaw na to the matandang koopal what on hell was he doing there eh I was texting him kaya like forever. Tapos the native guard pa made tingin at me like sama. So I shouted nga ulit at Hilariously Stoopid in pure english pare. I said na lang, "Are you natives ba planning to take a dip in the cascading thingie? Well, I guess you should! Both of you are really smelly na. I can smell you guys from inside ha! And believe me, its really shitty talaga!" So yun na nga diba, since I was really intimidating while shouting at the top of my voice, the native guard talaga was really pahiya. I'm like a VIP member kaya of Peninsula no. And they should make tabi whenever I pass through. Shitty minimum wage earners. I made galit na to Hilariously Stoopid infront of the baho guard to show him that natives are below me no. So yun na nga diba. Since I'm walking na naman, I just told him to please find a signal na lang for his mumurahing phone. I will check something lang kasi at Glorietta. Been drooling na kasi over the next Harry Potter book.

So there pare, good thing, he made sagot agad when I called him. I was like inis pa naman when I found out that the book is not yet out. Probably I'll make balik na lang ulit on Monday.

Compared to Them, I Am a God Pare.

Ok pare, as usual, i was uber busy na naman for the past few weeks. I was coerced kasi by my stupid mom to support kasi my uncle who ran for Senate last election. I mean, it was pretty obvious naman na I don't like that guy tapos my mom was making pilit pa to support him. To hell with them both no. I don't like kaya how the natives conduct their politics here sa pinas. Its soo effing dirty. The vote shaving and padding was like really obvious na. Good thing, natalo that moron. Or else, for sure, he'll be bragging na naman on how galing he is pare. Just like my quasi-cousins who are all shallow. Empty nutshells talaga I tell you.. I mean, its waaay better pa talking to my uber cool self than converse with those fucktards eh.

Anyways, I was browsing gov.ph last week when I chanced upon this thread at the forum. Basahin mo na lang pare to fully understand why some politicians are willing to spend millions of pesos just to win a spot sa senate:

Interview with the effing cool Miriam Defensor Santiago.

Ok, enuff na with bs pare. Just wanna make uber bilis kwento lang on what happened for the past few weeks. Just recently lang, I've been receiving uber daming emails from people informing me of a certain blog thats been dissing my blog daw. Now, heres what I have to say - to hell with that tanginang kupal dude. I have no time to check the totally rip-off site of a major faggotron. I am a busy person pare. Let them adore me. Better yet, let them kiss my ass. They can never attain the level from which I can instantly access my kaluluwa. I mean, come on.. Admit it pare... I AM THE BEST! And besides, I don't talk shit.

So yun na nga diba. I spent almost half my week making bura some 200 comments of natives comparing me to that site. Aside from that, I've been an office-bahay guy lang. Been convincing my dad na nga to get a SOHO na lang for me. Para naman I don't have to deal na with a stoopid driver, some bobo native muchachas and the everyday trip to office while debating to myself if I should make agaw na the manibela from Hilariously Stoopid and try to earn some points by hitting some orcs making lipana around Makati.

Also, had dinner lang with Claude and Tim Yap last week at Serendra. So there.

Spidey is a Wuss!

Tangina pare! Spiderman 3 was a total disappointment. I've watched it last May 1 and how I wished I stayed home na lang that day than make pila pa along with the natives and orcs at the Mall of Asia. Good thing most of our katutubo store employees were all like nagkakagulo pa to kiss my ass so I asked na lang one of them to buy the ticket for me. So yun na nga diba? That was the first time I sashayed deep into that masa infested mall. Eto ka pare, I just learned lang that day that there's a Calvin Klein store pala at that mall. And it was really lapit lang pala to our boutique! The only dissapointing thing lang about their store pare is that their shopping bag is kinda substandard. The Stores Specialists, Inc. ad and promo head should talk to me to get some pointers on product presentation pare. I'm like really good at that kasi. My dad kasi invited pa Jane Werner from the Fashion Institute, New York last year to conduct a seminar for our boutique. So diba pare, I learned from the best thats why I'm like a master na rin when it comes to merchandising and retail operations.

So yun na nga diba, going back to the movie pare, I suggest for you to bring a box of tissue paper because the movie was made entirely for crybabies and losers! Tangina pare. Sayang lang my money for that crappy feel good movie. I mean, I think I know better than the creator of that film. I'm a collector kasi of Marvel comic books before and I even have an Xmen 1979 Christmas issue as part of my collection. And the hell talaga pare they did to the Venom character. They made him patay agad that soon! And whats with the flying sand pare? Duh! Sands dont have wings naman diba? So how come they are flying?!!! Shitty plot talaga I tell you. They are talking trash pare. I mean its all about love, forgiveness and other mushy crapolas. Tangina.. I enjoyed pa nga more my granola bar than the movie itself. Eto ka pa pare! I chose pa a seat that was infront of the screen so I was like point blank watching the movie and para walang natives to disturb me while watching. Tapos there are some part pa that they made patawa.. The hell talaga pare.. all the natives was like laughing na.. but not me pare.. HELL NOT ME PARE! I mean, I have good taste dude. And I know a good movie when I see one. And that movie was like tangina talaga. So kakainit ng head. And that Tobey Maguire guy was really irritating. Always trying to make pacute eh he's not even cute pare no. Specially when he made the pacool dance pare. Feeling cool runnings as in! My butthole is waaaaay cuter than him kaya. Really creepy pare I tell you. Good thing talaga I have my box of granola with me or else I'm already dead na pare. Because the movie literally bored me to death. So there.

Korean Invasion

Just recently lang I went to Big Buddha, GB3 with a friend to sample their food there. We ordered lang for the soft crab thingie and the Szechuan shrimps. The food was ok but not that great pare. Sayang nga eh, I forgot to ask for a comment sheet from them to at least let them know what I think of their food no. I should have told them that I am by far mas magaling na cook than their generic chef. Well, thats my opinion lang pare ha and I think I have the right naman to tell them that diba? I mean, I paid naman for the food I ordered so I might as well comment on it. Nothing lang pare. I felt kasi something lang was missing on the food I ate eh. So there.

After Big Buddha, we had coffee lang at Starbs near Cafe Havana where all the native pokpoks and chixilogs are making lipana. Hoping to catch some lasing ng foreigners who would 'do' them in exchange for some katutubo bucks. My aura got sira pa nga pare dahil most of the tables were taken na by the natives drinking free water or milk lang naman in mini cups. To think pare na I complained na before from the baristas that they should make tago na the cups to minimize some orcs from enjoying freebie drinks no. Kawawa naman kasi some paying customers like me na walang maupuan eh. To hell with the lazzaronis' pare! How come theres no racumin when I need one?

Eto ka pare! While enjoying my regular cup of chino, I noticed lang one thing - Makati was like punong-puno na of Koreans! As in everywhere you look dude sa Pinas. North, east, south, west.. It was like Korean invasion talaga! No kidding pare. Mamatay man Hilariously stoopid and all my maids together with all the orcs sa Makati. What's with pinas ba right now that we are being invaded na by Koreans? And then I figured, it must be with the boom of crappy Korean Telenovelas on local TV pare. I mean, those Koreans must have thought that they have a showbiz career here sa pinas so they are making padala na by batches their citizens here. Like, yeah right. Sandara Park where are you na ba?!


The pungent and yucky Kimchi.
To sum it up, I had an uber busy boring week pare that I'm noticing the Kimchi-eating chinks na.

Related articles:
- Inquirer.net's Korean Invasion
- Life Less Ordinary: Korean Invasion.

To Hell with Death

Shit talaga sa hassle pare. I mean, death really sucks. And bigtime at that! Just imagine, my fave uber cool tito who was really healthy and with no hint of lapit ng mamatay just died last month due to heart attack. I mean, of all my bobong relatives pare with whom death could choose, why pa my uber close tito diba? We have like daming relatives kaya who's near death na. Just imagine pare, I have sooo fucking many stupid na, kupals pang quasi cousins, plus pa the amoy lupa ng brothers and sisters of my late grandmama and grandpapa who are just waiting na lang for a roll call from heaven pero they somewhat managed pa rin to make kapit to their pathetic boring old lives no... Also, what about the fucking Hilariously Stoopid who cheated death last December lang. Tapos andami pang orcs na naglipana sa pinas. Why not one of them?! This is purely unacceptable pare... Eh why nga tito Archie pa was chosen? Its unfair. Fuck death talaga pare! It was like I'm watching Final Destination in the flesh pare. Been trying to figure nga the pattern eh. I mean, there must be a pattern diba pare? If Hilariously Stoopid cheated death, then my uncle must be the next one to die. And he died pare! Now, the fucking question remains... Who's next kaya? Shit pare.. I'm having goosebumps na just trying to decode the pattern. I played with my Tarot nga kanina just trying to predict who will die next eh. Pero I've only managed to test pa lang two of our native maids. And scary talaga the outcome, according to the cards... Tatanda pa daw those two bobo natives. Shit talaga.

Also, my 3rd degree uncle is running for senate. All I can say is.. Goodluck na talaga to the future of this country if manalo that guy no? I mean, the reason why I hate this country is because of corrupt people like him who did nothing but just papogi lang sa office. Kaya naman I'd rather die than vote this coming election eh. Don't want to take part in the patuloy ng paglubog of this lubog ng third world country no? Siguro, I'll just vote na lang if they really exert some effort to change the image of Pinas. If wala nako ma-sight na eyesore sa kalsada like the baho slum areas. I mean, I would vote for the candidate who have the balls to bulldoze those barong barongs to oblivion. Thats the candidate for you pare!

Well, if I am given a chance to handle the Commission on Elections (COMELEC) office, I would change na agad the very traditional way of voting here sa pinas. I mean, its pretty obvious naman na uber daming flaws ng native system diba? I think one best way to sort the best candidates would be to do it the cofibean way... Why not put all the senatorial candidates sa Bahay ni Kuya, Pinoy Big Brother style. And let the masses and TFC subscribers decide who will be voted out and who will remain as the big winners for senate thru text and vote cards. Then every week, there will be an elimination night to remove the most bulok from the candidates. Tapos their tasks would be to build/renovate as much schools as they can using the money they've accummulated through the years from the native taxpayers. I think kasi its about time na to educate the baho masa about things para I won't have to deal with another bobo native again. Kinda irritating din kasi at times eh. Also, once implemented... It'll be a lot.. and i mean A LOT cooler elimination process diba? Promises are boring pare. I think I saw one pa nga crying on TV. And that was really pathetic pare. A desperate measure to earn some pogi points from the masses. What the natives need right now are men and women suffering from an acute case of Hernia. As in, men and women with VERY HUGE BALLS pare! Of course dude, don't be so bobo to identify women with Huge Balls with the chixilogs (chix with itlogs) of Greenbelt and Makati Ave no! Action not words pare. Stop being a Filipino orc. And if that happens... Our country will be known worldwide pare because we will be included sa Guiness Book of World Records for the uber cool election ever held. I'm thinking big kasi eh. Unlike the politicians who are all just pangako.. And masasabi ko lang bout that is.. Uhm... Yeah right!

2007 Opening Salvo

Ok dude, I've lost my fucking atm just recently. So I need to rely on my credit cards to do most of my shopping for the past few weeks. And believe me pare, not having cash on your wallet is hard pala. And I thought I could rely na on my credit cards alone. So here are some updates on my life pare:

So yun na nga diba, since I hate celebrating birthdays, I stayed home lang and surfed the internet all day lang. Christmas din kasi last year was really boring. I mean, I got tamad na of spending it na naman with my cousins abroad. Nothing new naman with them eh, still the same kaasar na faces. All looking for a christmas gift from me. And besides, they visit pinas naman twice a year so why make siksik pa myself on their kadire houses that smells like cat-piss no. My stupid Tita kasi is fond of making her house a refuge for stray and abandoned felines eh. Kaya naman even her breath na smells like uber baho fufu ng cat. Tangina the smell talaga pare! So, I just emailed them na lang saying Merry Christmas no.

And since I don't have cash, I bought na lang greeting cards from Power Books that I sent out bago mag christmas last year. I mean, it's the thought that count naman diba pare, so I really can't figure out why the maids frowned when they got their christmas cards from me, eh they are the ones who wrote naman the generic messages on it. Really stoopid diba pare?

And speaking of stoopid people pare, Hilariously Stoopid escaped death. Tanginang matanda talaga that one pare. I mean, I'm beginning to think na he's like aswang or sumthin to be able to cheat death no. The hell talaga pare! I heard right now, he is recovering na. And syempre diba, inspite of that incident, my stupid mom won't allow me to drive pa rin my own car. She said, I'm too young pa daw to die!? What the hell was she talking about?! I'm very good na kaya at driving no. Damn! So right now, we are alternating from having Mang Dario in driving us around the metro.

Regarding the card incident, I think I lost it when I went to MoA a week before christmas pare. The place kasi was overflowing with baho natives that time so I was really busy trying to make iwas from bumping with even one of them. Hirap na to contract any skin diseases from them kasi most of them are like dripping na with masa juice and really smelly na that time. So yun na nga diba, I remembered trying to withdraw from an ATM there. Probably that is when I've lost my card.

My secretary told me that it'll take a about a week pa before I could get the new card so I decided to create na lang a new account because it'll take lang 3 banking days. And besides, my old account naman was fastphone enrolled. So why wait pa diba if I could just use phone banking naman to transfer funds from my old account to the new one. I called na naman their hotline to block my card in case some natives who got it tries to withdraw from it.

So yun na nga diba, I got na agad my card after 3 days lang so I enrolled it din agad to phone banking. But lo and behold pare, when I tried tansfering funds from my old account to the new one, I am getting a system error daw. Cannot complete the transaction because I am trying to transfer to an unenrolled account. I mean what the fuck was that all about? So I went back to the bank and confronted the new accounts orc. I told her the error and she told me that my account daw is for cash deposit only. And that I need to submit first a billing statement for them to be able to lift the restriction. And they are only accepting daw Meralco, Maynilad and PLDT! So I just insisted what if I try to withdraw na lang over the counter from my old account since its mine naman and I have naman my drivers license to prove it plus pa the new account I made with them. She told me that it was not possible daw and that I need pa to present an affidavit of loss to push through with the withdrawal... I yelled at her na lang to make her look tanga infront of the many people around us, "Huwaaat?! You should have told me that earlier when I enrolled for a new account. I'm not stupid you know!" The bitch looked at me lang then said, "What was your concern again sir?" Thats it! The hell talaga pare. I just told her na lang that my dad will hear about her stupidity and that we will pull out all of our accounts from them. Tanginang bitch! She ruined my holiday agad. Not to mention my aura was really irritated that time. Good thing I have like pinag-aralan no! Unlike her na bobo na stupid pa! Stoopid bitch!

And if you're going to ask how was my new year. Just forget about it pare.

So there.