Hiatus Mode is Over!

Wazzup pare! Been in hiatus mode na for quite sometime. Been checking lang this site once a week na lang for the past few weeks because of my uber busy sked. Sorry nga pala to some cool dudes and dudettes if I wasn't able to post your nice comments ha? Been deleting kasi the comments by batch na because as usual pare, it has been abused na naman by some bobo orcs posting walang kwentang stuff like "Sinong my mom daw?" Yeah right, as if naman katawa their own rendition of "Sinong nanay mo?!" sound clip no. It was uber passe na kaya. Like long forgotten history na pare.



So yun na nga diba? It's nearing my birthday na naman. I'm turning 24 na! Like tangina talaga, parang it was like yesterday lang when I first started this blog tapos its more than a year old na pala. Well, Its obvious naman pare na I am a writer talaga diba kaya there are some people who are always trying to put me down. Like, talaga lang ha? You can NEVER PUT A GOOD MAN DOWN pare. I'm too fucking good to be true diba? There are some instances pa nga before na I've met some people telling me some stuffs like, "Kindly sampal nga my face pare, kasi you're sooo fucking too good to be true eh." Well, hell yeah! I'm like totoong laman pare. To hell with all the tanginang kupals who keeps on repeating na I'm not true daw. If I'm not true then who the hell is making all these blog entries? Don't tell me na you natives are really that bobo not to figure that one out. Thats soooo fucking stoopid pare!




Just a bit of trivia nga pala pare: I HATE BIRTHDAYS!

Ok, just an update lang no. My web site is still under development pa rin pare. The guys at Design Lab are really doing a great job in making all my kulit revisions come true. I will not disclose my URL muna para walang pampasira ng aura. Hirap na dude. Baka some bobo orcs will try to mess it up na agad eh its under development pa nga lang. Been thinking na nga of making my site password protected para selected lang readers of my blog. Its kinda private kasi eh. Not to mention na my blog is not catered to be understood by people with an IQ of flat 130130.

Also pare, I bought a new fone nga pala, the N73 of Nokia. Its ok na for everyday use. Nothing special really. Sayang nga lang that I bought it late November eh kalalabas lang early this December the Music Edition. Shit talaga pare! Sayang.

And oh, I almost forgot pare... Hilariously Stoopid nga pala was rushed to the hospital by Mang Dario (my mom's driver) yesterday. I think he was making hingalo na right now. Well, its about time na kaya pare. I mean, its not my fault that old native was soo fucking tanga not to secure the jack properly before fixing anything under the car. So there... bang! He was kinda pisak ata. Tapos the tanga maid pa who saw the incident made fun of it pa. Tama bang to call me pa and say, "Sir oh, look at Mang Hilario, he was joking na naman under your car." Like its her way of saying, "Oh, how cute naman Mang Hilario for making kisay under the car!" Now, was that playing stoopid or purely tanga lang talaga of her? Well, I dont want to share pa the details na pare. My blood is making kulo lang eh. And besides, I think it is God's way na rin of telling my mom na I dont need a driver na no.

You Want a Piece of Me?

Ok pare. I had it na with all the pakialameros who's been bombarding my blogs with how lame daw my entries. I think its about time for you to have a piece of me na. So to all the tanginang kupal who are making epal, here's to you pare:

THIS IS MY BLOG. A certified dicklit of a gliteratti from MAkati. And wala you all pakialam what I put in it. I never told you naman to visit me eh. So no matter how tamad I get in writing my post. Wala kayong say. Not now. And of course not in a million years no. Siguro the best that you could do right now to make pakamatay na lang. And since you always have naman an earphone connected to your head, why don't you make lakas na lang the head bang and try banging your head on your mumurahing monitor. Para its like basag na tapos you are making kisay pa. That way, you will do the world a favor pa pare. Kasi naman wala na tinik on their lives no. I mean, admit it dude, everybody hates you because you're a certified LOSER na, tapos ORC pa! And take note ha, you have the word loser all capitalized pa. Damn! I pity you pare. The hell talaga!

YOU ARE NOTHING. So please lang no. Don't act as if you're something na. All the katutubos I know were all employeed and never had the chance to become an employer themselves. Not even a katiting stint of entrepreneural spirit. So it is expected na for you baho orcs to stink. As in bigtime pare. The only thing you are good at is to kiss the ass of your foreigner boss.

Try bragging na lang if you are made na no.

STOP FROM BEING DEMANDING. This is my so called personal blog ergo my life pare. The reason nga I broke up with my girlfriend before is because she was making me sakal tapos you are reading lang my blog, you suddenly acquired na agad the right to demand on what I write. I mean, what the hell are you thinking ba? I know its obvious na you are all envious lang because I write what I feel. And you have all these restrictions pa on what you write on your blog because you need to use pa the spell and grammar checker of Microsoft Word before publishing. Tangina pare, you're so bobo kasi. I can't help it if I'm an excellent writer pare and I have this instant access to my kaluluwa so everything I wrote was really damang-dama.

Also, to all rushing me for my book. I'm still writing it pa. I turned down nga an offer from PSICOM Publishing because they are rushing me din eh. I hate being rushed pare. So please stop from being soo kupal and just wait ha. And regarding my website, Designlab is still developing it pa. I have so many revisions kasi pare. I have a creative mind din kasi so I have all these new ideas almost everyday to put on my site. I wanted everything kasi to be perfect no.

Yeah I guess that's it for now... all those in your face pare.

Buti pa this kid funny eh. Kayo kainis lang.

Chairman of the Bored

Ok, I'm officially elected as chairman of the bored right now because of the uber boredom I'm experiencing. And I really hate this pare! I mean, nothing in this pathetic life seems to amuse me anymore! And the thing pa that I hate the most is that nobody fucking gets me. I need pa to explain most of the time why I did something. Just like what happened kanina at the dinner table, my mom called me stupid na naman with some katutubos pa naman lurking around. I mean, did someone made lipat na ba the channel at our house? Kasi the last time I've checked eh it was the native drivers and the baho muchachas who were all stoopid tapos now, I'm the stupid one na?! The hell talaga pare! Good thing I'm not in the mood to do some rebuttals diba. E di dapat pahiya my stupid mom because what I did naman talaga was really not that bobo. I'm a lot better kaya than most people here sa pinas no.

Tangina! If only I have powers pare. I totally know what to do with it. Diba nga with great power comes great responsibility. Yeah pare! Its obvious naman na I'm a king in my past life. So its kinda inborn na for me to give orders and control lives.... Let the natives do the manual labor, I'm just here to supervise diba?!

The first thing siguro that I will do is to make-durog all the people who talks nonsense and who are very fond of themselves. They have no right whatsoever pare. They need to undergo some major overhauling pa to become like me.... near perfect. Probably I'll erase na rin all the orcs and baho natives because they are such an eyesore sa kalsada.

So there. Tama na siguro that for now pare, I need to recharge pa my aura from all the beating it got for the past few days.

Also, please add me sa friendster pare ihatecofi@yahoo.com and post na rin some testimonials. My testimonials kasi are kinda konti pa rin.

As in Putangina Talaga!

This is a classic example of an emotional orc. Enjoy pare!

Update lang Pare

It was an uber busy week for me pare. Sometimes nga I felt like I don't have a life na. Just imagine pare, my life was like making ikot na lang sa work and more work pa. Tapos Claude pa was always making kwento pa on how great daw Tim Yap for being such a nice boyfriend. The hell pare! As if naman I care no?! I don't even have a lovelife nga tapos she'll make me pakinig pa to some of her boring kwento no. I swear pare, if ever I get puno na of that kadire love affair, I'm going to say right in her face pare to fuck off talaga. Sometimes kasi, I felt I was being abused na for being such a good buddy to some of my friends eh. Its ok lang kaya to teach them a lesson or two for them to learn. Namimihasa kasi sometimes and they always tend to make asa na lang saken pare. I'm that lupet kasi eh.

Anyways share ko lang dude, my mom talaga is such a weirdo. She bought kasi a trampoline yesterday. I mean, what the fuck was she thinking ba? I'm her son kaya so she should learn na to give us some kahihiyan no. I just can't imagine my stupid matanda ng mom bouncing using that trampoline. Buti na lang pare she told us that it was for my quasi-cousins daw. The hell talaga pare! Buti pa my cousins, they got what they wanted from my parents, ako I need pa to make uto my girlfriend before to buy me yosi pa. Shit talaga! I'm starting to hate those monkeys na naman.

Tapos yesterday pa, some orc-like katutubos really ruined my aura at G4 pare. I went there kasi to buy the lean shake formula from GNC as a meal replacement and to buy na rin sana some undergarments from Armani. At the escalator going up, there was this katutubo who was really likot and from time-to-time making bangga na at my back. So I confronted him nga, I told him, "Are you bakla ba?!". I never thought pare na he was with his tribe pala. I think there are six of them who all turned to me because I confronted their kalahi no. Good for them pare, I'm an animal lover, because if not, probably most of them will go home all like patay na. So I just told them na lang na I don't make patol to bakla natives no. Good for them talaga.

So yun na nga diba? I've lost my gana na to continue on with my agenda yesterday. So I called na lang Hilariously Stoopid to pick me up kasi I need pa to replenish my aura. Fuck kasi those bakla natives eh!

Probably, I'll just buy na lang later.

Orc Spotting

Ok pare, I have some friends asking me na on how to spot daw ba an orc from all the uber dami ng tao here sa pinas. Its very simple lang naman pare diba? Below are 10 things you should know to spot an orc...


1. They are always making kumpol almost on all public places making loud kwentos to each other and making loud tawas while speaking to each other with English accent pa! Tapos when you look at them they are like very much natives pare. Complete with the balat mahirap pa.

2. People aboard some masa jeepneys and other public utility vehicles with their rather gaudy and obviously second hand ukay-ukay clothes. Tapos sticking out pa their latest got-from-the-bombays-as-hulugans celfones from time to time for all to see. Kaya naman most of them usually ends up all patay na from the tusok on the side they got from being held up. Lousy no?

3. People who are flashing their faux-brand clothing like Louis Vuitton, DKNY, etc. tapos making lakad lang together with their big bags containing their lutong bahay baons and everything-they-need-for-the-day-na-galing-from-haus-just-to-survive kit dahil they are making tipid to save their money pa to buy some mumurahing drinks from Coffee Bean or Starbs to look cool pare. Tapos when you try to stare at them for about ten minutes, some words starts na to magically appear all over their body no.. Words like "FAKE", "POSER", "ORC" and may complete phrase pa na "HEY! LOOK AT ME, I'M LIKE A FUCKING YABANG POSEUR NO!". Optical illusion? Hell NO pare!

4. People making tambay along sidewalks (i'm referring to makati, ortigas and QC business districts pare) and trying hard to look sosy by making hithit their mumurahing Phillip yosi. Very much looking like a bunch of crapolas if you ask me.

5. People with complete set of AM/FM stereos tapos making it tago lang inside their pockets para it would look something like an ipod pare. Tapos even though there's a loud music na sa place, they will try to wear pa rin their headphones and make headbang. Eh they are listening lang naman to AM balita no. The hell pare!

6. People wearing thick jackets even though its sooo fucking init sa pinas. Tapos when they try to make taas na their kili-kili to make the funk its like so dripping wet na with the baho masa juice.

7. People wearing uber kapal chin-chun-su foundation just to hide their panget faces and only goes out at night because they're afraid that the tanghali sun might melt their faces and reveal the kadire physiognomy underneath no. As in!

8. They live at the ipis and daga infested squalid part of the city. Places that the goverment should consider bulldozing na because of the pollution they generate and the low morality they teach their uber daming kids which are the future holduppers and kidnappers here sa pinas.

9. All the baklas and tivolis you see at night making pakalat-kalat at the business districts. Tapos they are making tingin pa with matching pagnanasa pare in their eyes. As in asa pa them no!

10. And they have this uncanny ability to irritate my aura. Its creepy and eery at the same time.

So there.

Tim Yap and Harry Potter

Ok pare, Claude invited me last night sa Big Buddha, GB3 for her to make pakilala na her new boylet. Lets call this guy "Tim Yap". Tim Yap not because he looks like my friend Tim Yap but because its an abbreviated form of Tang-Inang Mukha Yan, Ang Panget. Seriously speaking pare, he reminds me of "Shrek". As in upclose and personal! Complete with the BO pa! Kulang na lang for me to take pa-picture with this guy and show it to my mom and tell her that I've been to Disneyland last night para pareimburse ng tickets no.

Ciempre diba, since Claude is my friend, I need to make pa-plastic na naman and make her feel na she's like panalo sa new boyfriend nya no. Yeah pare, she's panalo allright... Panalo for finding the most stupid kupal sa earth. As in! Grabe kasi pare the hangin of that guy. I mean, its obvious na he don't have any idea on who I am diba pare. So I just made tahimik na lang and tried to focus more on making ilag na lang from all the tilamsik of his laway no. And you know what? I kinda enjoyed din naman what I did eh. It's like playing PS2 pare in real life!

So yun na nga diba? It was really horrible talaga last night and kinda tiring din faking my tawa. Pero the hell talaga pare the yabang of that guy. Buti na lang Hilariously stoopid called and asked kung san daw ako daanan. Ciempre diba, that was an opportunity na to put an end sa kayabangan of Tim Yap. So I told Hilariously Stoopid to just park the car and pick up the books I bought at Powerbooks earlier. And I made it a point that I spoke louder that usual over the celphone last night so that Tim Yap would hear it and for him to have an idea that I have a slave no. Unlike him na just hitching lang a ride with Claude. How pathetic was that? Lousy no?!

Also, Mother of all kainis talaga some loser punks who got into my nerves for the past few days dude. As in TANG-INA talaga pare! Uber pampasira ng aura. It was kinda hard na to approve comments lately because of some loser punks who keeps on posting the complete "Harry Potter" series at my comment box no! Complete with foreword pa! As in... Kulang na lang pare the video attachment of the whole movie to complete the effect. Why not kaya make sama na rin the trailer to the attachment and the biography of all the cast para naman wasak na talaga my aura pare and para naman you could laugh na infront of the camera na together with your mean kopita because you somewhat managed to ruin my mood diba? As in the hell pare! Asa pa you no! Obviously, this is another agenda na naman of some bakla natives who have nothing to do but mess with my blog. Its simple lang naman pare diba? If you don't like what you see here then why stay pa? Not unless you're really that stubborn to make your kadire comment pa! Tang-ina, you're bobo talaga! I removed the button na nga coming from pinoytopblogs to lessen the katutubo hits tapos you're like flocking pa rin. I mean, read the disclaimer you dork!

Near death experience.

Dude! The experience was like nakakatakot talaga. I was like muntik ng mamatay early this week. And all because of some loser motorcycle punks along Macapagal road. I was on my way back kasi to Makati from MoA when my car almost got hit by the motorcycle natives near Bluewave. Tangina pare! My bobo driver, Hilariously Stoopid wasn't looking din kasi. Buti na lang I saw the approaching katutubos on a motorcycle heading our way. So I was the one who was making sigaw talaga. If I wasn't that alert that time pare, I could have been dead by now. One less gwapo na naman here sa mundo. Imagine pare, I died not because of the head-on collision sana with the motorcycle natives, but I died because some people are soo fucking stoopid to let loose their monkeys and let them play with motorcycles. I mean, who on earth have taught monkeys how to drive motorcycles? And what the fuck do you call those breed of monkeys on wheels ba? Iba na talaga products of Science nowadays -- the wonders of Genetic Engineering nga naman pare. I just told na lang Hilariously Stoopid to ignore na lang the loser punks who got tumba because I was really on a hurry. Hirap na pare to face na naman some patola enforcers who are like takot naman if I tell them the name of my tito na.

So yun na nga diba. I was like muntik ng mamatay early this week tapos I need to share na naman the house with some of my quasi-cousins. Ok lang sana if they have breeding pare no. Pero dude wala. Plus pa the fact that they are always irritating my aura eh. I mean now, I always have to go home early to check on some of my things baka they will make basag na naman some of my stuff. Just like what they did yesterday to my Brent yearbook that they made punit punit talaga. Eh I have only one copy lang kaya. So, how I wished that time that I could also make punit some super coolet kids and make them sunog na lang just to get even. My mom naman kasi always making kunsinti those brats and always telling me na, "Hijo, hayaan mo na. Ganyan ka din naman kakulit when you're still little eh." Just now I've realized na I should have made sagot to her remarks about those little devils no. I should have told her, "Ma, at least we're humans. And not freaks like those quasi-cousins of mine." The hell talaga pare! I swear I'm going to make irap at my tita next time for leaving those freaks here. Lately, our community kasi was really magulo because of the things that are happening right now at IS Manila wherein they booted the superintendent of the school Mr. David Toze, the former deputy head of all Brentoids in Baguio City.

Now everyone is trying to make pasikat na and making sali pa. Just like the Madrigals, the Ayalas, Elizaldes, etc. Kulang na lang the UN committee pare to referee the event eh. Here's one blog talking about the event - http://factoidal.blogspot.com. This site contains some disturbing politics of the school complete with some documents pa! Hay! Good thing I was a Brent alumnus.


Also, my site is still under development. I rejected kasi the first batch of designs that was presented to me by the Design Lab Project team. I don't like kasi the combinations of kulay that they did.

So there.

Charter Huwaat?!

Shit talaga pare. Been monitoring the dollar exchange rate for the past few days. The piso is gaining some strength na over my dollar account. And I really hate it when the buying power of piso exceeds that of the dollar. I always make papalit pa naman my piso to dollars everytime. I mean, what's happening ba with our economy right now? The last time I've checked a local TV station, all I saw were the crappy Korean Novelas and the iyakan crapolas of Judy Anne and Paolo Pascual. Don't tell me pare, those soap operas made na a huge impact on our economy because the government got huge commissions on the cashed-in ratings of the native tv stations. What the fuck! Kadire naman if that was the root cause of the dollar devaluation diba? I mean, our movie industry can't even compete globally. There's this lumalalang trend to make movie just to satisfy the entertainment needs of the masa and the katulong community. As in to hell na with morals and quality... !%$#!@!!!! I'm still here kaya. I have needs din pare no.

What's katawa pa pare is that the government of Pinas is crying out loud for a charter change. I mean, yeah.. charter change my ass! As if naman things will change if they change the kind of government this third world country has. I think instead of changing the government, they need to re-evaluate and kick out some of the incompetent braggadocios holding positions in the katutubo government right now diba?

Just a piece of Cofibean's advice lang pare.... diba this country is striving to uplift the economy and boost the buying power of piso? Why don't we sell na lang kaya the third world Pinas to the Americans and let the brilliant white people take over our government and economy. That will be uber cool pare diba? Instant A-1 economy na, we will have dollar currency pa! Not to mention, less hassle of Visa renewal for me diba. (Up to now pare, I dunno if I was the only one brilliant enough to come up with this excellent solution to the on-going kahirapan of this country. Probably its because I'm that talino kasi pare! As in!)

And siguro pare when that time comes, I guess its ok na to make palampas some callcenter orcs who are looking very much piso but speaking in dollars with a twang pa! Which made my blood sometimes kulo and damn!.... kainis.

Lord of the Rings Sequel?

Ok pare, I guess you are wondering whats up with the good boy image lately.... No - I'm not turning gay or anything pare. Hell no! Probably t'was because I'm getting lang a lot of good vibes for the past few days. And its uber coolness na naman pare to once again gain an instant access to my kaluluwa. When I've read nga my tarot kanina, I got the Two of Pentacles for the final outcome pare... meaning, there will be lotsa parties lang naman, social gatherings and happy celebrations of all kinds. Ciempre pare its not the BYOB-jologs-kind-of-basta-basta party lang diba? I'm not madamot naman pare to just keep my goodlooks lang all to myself. I have a puso rin naman to share my goodlooks to others no. To serve as an inspiration diba. Been missing na din kasi the club scene lately. All I did was work work work lang for the past few months. And its not righteous pare. As in totally uncool and unholy. Pero come to think of it, most of the club venues that I really liked pala are not from the pinas pare... Embassy (Taguig), NBC Tent (Manila), Club Asia (Tokyo), Cube (Tokyo), Gaspanic (Tokyo), Ageha (Tokyo), Club Areju (Tokyo), Velfarre (Tokyo), Venezia (Makati ** kinda dope on Tuesdays!), Gotham Club (California), Nuvo and Temple (Makati). So there! If you wanna check me out, go to those places. Who knows pare diba? You might get lucky. Yeah.. like ASA PA YOU! As in! Haha!

Actually dude the highlight nga pala of this entry was the movie I came across kanina while surfing the web. I mean WHAT. THE. FUCK!!! I laughed so hard I shit my pants pare! I'm not kidding... Go see for yourself what I mean.. Fucking creative genius whoever did this sequel of the Lord of the Rings. The director somewhat managed to exposed the orc fucktards at work.

[ Click here to launch pop-up movie. ]
Also to the pathetic natives who keeps on emailing me stuff and posting some death threats on my comment box... here's what I have to say -- I know you guys are bobo and all, but please lang no, go kill yourself na lang if my blog bothers you that fucking much... And if you monkeys are really that tapang, reveal yourselves and I'll be more than happy to teach you natives a lesson or two. Tangina. Obviously, you're nothing naman eh.

Rich Gelati

Just got home dude from Amici di Don Bosco. I had pizza lang ang two scoops of rum raisin. I enjoyed sana my tambay there pare if it weren't for the kulit na anaks of our native neighbor. Of all times naman pare, why naman kasi kanina pa kami nagkasabay having dinner. Don't get me wrong pare, I have nothing against kids. It was just that those two brats na anak of our neighbor were really gifted lang in shutting down my aura. Just imagine pare, the pagtitimpi I made when I found out what the little piglet did to my car when I parked my car for saglit lang, when I came back, I found some drawings on my car na agad made with permanent marker! Eh I was making madali pa naman that time... Shit talaga the hassle that kid gave me that time pare. Good thing na lang my former driver Mang Tonyo knew what to do with the drawings.

So I was like making pigil lang talaga my temper kanina. Buti na lang I was able to hold my inis kanina towards the panget kids no. I was about to make tusok na sana with a fork yung eyes ng bratty girl when she hid under my table eh. Tapos I'll just act innocent na lang pare. Tutal she won't be able to recognize me na naman after the incident diba because she's bulag na.

So yun na nga diba? I had to cut my dinner short because I really can't stand those bratty kids running around the place tapos calling me "koya" pa! What the fuck?! As in the hell talaga!

I just called Mang Hilario na lang to take out the remaining pizza because I lost my appetite na pare. Good thing the yummy gelati kinda neutralized the bad vibes. Really nice... a glitterati eating a rich gelati. :)

Also, prior to making this entry pare, I've checked my ranking at pinoytopblogs.com. I found out that I'm only at the 52nd spot and that I have 4,933 unique hits with a total of only 8,335 hits for the month. I think their rating system is kinda sira pare. Because I have statscounter installed on my site and below are the weekly stats for my site. Now, I'm starting to wonder if the top 3 sites are the owner of that site. Just a wild thought lang pare. Scammers! Damn it. Probably I'll just remove na lang the button kasi its kinda making my site slow to load din.


And speaking about the site, I received na some design proposals. I am making timbang pa right now on which design firm I am going to acquire for the site. I dont want to settle for anything less kasi pare. Hirap na.

The Jedi Night

I'm still at the office now pare, just reviewing some papers lang for the Mancom tomorrow. I need kasi to revise pa some data my dumb secretary inputted to some reports. Buti na lang I'm that good pare to notice some errors on her grammar no. I mean, I'm not boasting or anything pare but I think her grammar sucks talaga. As in major! So now, as a consequence of her kabobohan, I need to check pa everything. I don't want kaya to give the impression that I hired a stoopid secretary to the managers and board members a.k.a. my family.

So yun na nga diba? I need to stay this late sa office because of her stupidity tapos there's no one pa to buy cofi for me. Manong guard lang kasi ang the only person left at the lobby. Katakot naman to ask him to buy coffee for me at Starbs Standard or Coffeebean Convergys. Scary kasi the pores of that guy. Not to mention pare kadire. As in Starwars talaga pare -- literally THE PORES IS WITH HIM! Plus factor pa na he also looks stupid. I'm just worried lang na he'll buy blend 45 from 7-11 instead of an iced, decaf, triple grande, hazelnut, nonfat, no whip, mocha or nonfat vanilla cup of chino from starbs. Kaya naman I had no choice but to buy it for myself kanina pare.

Starbs was kinda like puno with orc-like jologs kanina so I decided to buy na lang from Coffeebean Convergys. Even though I see that place as Mordor pare, I still like the place because its like laging walang laman. Good thing the orcs realized na the place was really not intended for them and that the primo coffee sold at that place does not fit their katiting na budget no.

Pero take note pare ha, my journey to coffeebean was really that hirap din for me. Hirap din kasi to just focus sa daan on my way to that place because of the pakalat-kalat na mga orcs sa Ayala, sporting their ukay-ukay winter collection. It's kinda funny din in a way to see them. I mean, if I am wearing a passe collection of a faux branded line, I won't be smiling and be as glad as they were kanina. I just thought na lang to myself, "Wow pare, so kadire naman their outfit. Good thing I'm not like them no."

Well I guess thats all na muna for now pare. Still have to finish checking the reports pa. Will update you na lang about the arrangements we are doing with the design companies.

Design Proposals

Ok pare, I just received tons of proposals coming from individuals aspiring to design my site. Syempre diba, I need to sort out the amateurs and the basuras. So I made bura almost 80% of the proposals I received. I mean, please don't offer free web design if you think you're nothing naman diba? And besides, money is not a problem pare. I am willing to pay as long as you or your company deliver WHAT I WANT and ON TIME! I assigned na lang my secretary to coordinate with the following design companies to help me develop and create my site:


1. Philweavers - This one was referred by a certain Ivy and was sent to my email. She told me na this group daw is really great in designing websites. But when I checked the site, it was like a database lang pala of designers. I don't have time pa to check them one by one because of my busy sked. I don't want to trust my secretary naman on choosing the designer for me here, she's like walang alam kasi pare sa aesthetics. So, probably I'll check the site na lang later.


2. Team Manila - This one was referred by my uncle. He told me na the group was really creative daw because he had them design a flyer for him on one of the events that he organized before. Kaso when I browsed their site kanina, I found no portfolio of the sites they've created.


3. Design Lab Project - This one I got from the tons of proposals I received via email. And besides, I found Willy Saw's site listed in their portfolio, (My tita once hired this guy to do a photoshoot of her resto before.) so probably, I'll contact Willy, one of these days to inquire about the group.


4. L.A. Design Studio - This design group was referred by my cousin from L.A. They are a bit pricey, but will still check them out siguro tomorrow. I'm after naman quality and not the price.


5. Bhong.com - Nice portfolio coming from this one, but I don't like their domain name. Kinda cheesy.

And to the other proposals that were not mentioned here, please do us all a favor and shut down your company together with your crappy design portfolio. Kaka-highblood lang kasi pare. To think na I've wasted my precious time visiting your site no.

Another boring reunion.

Ok pare, just got home from another family reunion with my mom and dad. And the event kanina was like hell talaga. I mean, do I really have to make beso beso pa with the oldies just to show respect. Its really kadire talaga pare, not to mention kainis. Imagine, I am spending a lot for my skin tapos it'll make dikit lang to the oily faces of old relatives. So there was an effort talaga making iwas to any introductions my mom was trying to initiate. Who knows pare what disease they might be carrying na diba because of old age. I heard kasi from a certain knowledge channel that old people are very vulnerable na to all kinds of diseases because of their weak immune systems. Not to mention, their near-death ng breath was really revolting. Actually, I told one of my quasi-auntie right in her face to gargle naman with some mouthwash kasi I'm still too young pa to die... Eh my mom overheard what I said so she made tingin sama at me. So I made alis na lang to save myself from the impending maternal nobelas.

And syempre diba? It was a reunion so I once again saw na naman my pasiklab cousins as if they did something great na naman for the clan to be proud of. There was even one pa nga who was wearing the exact shirt I'm wearing. Shit talaga pare. I never thought na they put the shirt on sale na agad for my quasi-cousin to be able to afford that. So I went na lang to my car and changed my shirt. Good thing I have an extra Calvin Klein muscle shirt at my gym bag. I made it suot na lang together with the greyhound vintage plaid blazer which made me really hot kanina pare. Actually, I look good naman on anything eh.

Good thing the party ended pare kasi I thought I was going ancient na waiting for it to end agad. It was nothing special naman kasi pare. Just a boring reunion lang with my superficial relatives.

So yun na nga diba? I was bored to hell talaga pare watching the antics of those losers. Again, as what I've said, good thing all the crapolas ended sa wakas pare.

Also pare I'm looking nga pala for an advertising firm to design and develop my website. Please send your proposals to ihatecofi@yahoo.com ASAP. Can't wait to have my own site na eh. Below are my requirements:

1. You must be really good at web design pare. I need killer designs for my site.
2. I don't like bobo people. So if you think you and your team are all stoopid, fuck off!
3. Mabilis mag-work and knows how to deliver WHAT I WANT on time.
4. Must have an account with Equitable-PCI for payment through bank transfer.
5. Knows how to speak English. Pure tagalog speakers need not apply.

Your life's purpose.. Revealed!

Ok pare, been very busy na naman for the past few days because of the uber daming paperworks I need to finish pa. Shit kasi the bagyos that made pahangin here sa Pinas for the past couple of weeks.


Ok lang sana if it obliterated all of the squatter areas together with all the baho inhabitants... kaso hindi pare eh. Kasi naman, when I passed by coastal road yesterday with my stoopid driver, all of the native barong-barongs were still there. How I wished na it got all swept away na lang by the strong winds that came with the bagyo diba pare? Para I dont have to cover pa my nose when passing through that part of the metro. (Yes pare. The stench was really that lakas to penetrate pa inside my car with all the windows closed na. I mean, those natives really have to invest na for a decent comfort rooms no. Kawawa naman kasi the creek alongside the road, it was really fufu-infested na! The hell talaga pare.) Funny pa pare one house I saw near the Naia-Macapagal intersection, it was really nipis talaga! It was like one fathom lang if you made it sukat... as in! Not only that pare, it has 3 storeys pa! I mean, are they trying to make patawa ba? I wondered nga if they have stairs pa inside or they use vines na lang to go up and down that house. Sabagay, they're not different naman from monkeys pare eh.

So yun na nga diba? Good thing I still have time pa rin to entertain myself inspite of the uber busy schedule that I have. Come to think of it pare, the natives have some use naman pala. All along kasi, I thought they were all useless. Its pretty clear naman na their purpose in life is to entertain people like me diba? I mean, it'll be nice if they were all gone but still pare, uber happiness is not good din for my emotional well-being. Without them, I won't be able to enjoy a balance life na. Just imagine pare, I will be smiling na all the time. Its hirap kaya sa jaws and baka some people will think pa na I'm like retarded na. No way pare!...

Actually, I made a reflection on it last night nga eh. It was a cycle all along. I am benefiting from them for emotional well being and they are benefiting from me through the jobs our companies generated. Bottom line is, they should thank God for giving a gift like me to mankind. Humn... that made perfect sense diba pare?

Why me pare???

Ahhhh! Can't sleep pare! Kanina pa ako trying to sleep by making my eyes pikit pero its useless talaga! Shit! Shit! Shit! There are soo many things inside my head right now. So many fucking pampagulo thoughts thats been crowding my head like giera. I was making my head kalog na nga pare just to get rid of those fucking thoughts pero it keeps on bugging me pa rin. Shit naman kasi kanina the thing I saw pare. Of all people, why me pa? I mean there are so many fucking loser punks out there tapos I was the one chosen pa to witness that incident....Ahhhhhh! Goodluck saken pare. The hell!

Tangina. Just imagine pare, I was on my way to Ortigas kanina with my stupid driver when suddenly, out from nowhere, a baho katutubo was knocking furiously on my car. He was asking for help because he was being held up daw and the holduppers were still after him. The hell talaga pare! What was he thinking ba? Do I look like a cop ba? I mean, I don't eat patolas nga tapos I'll carry pa one. No way pare! And besides, I'm not that bobo pare just to let some baho stranger with a lame story inside my car. I'm all talino kaya to fall for something as pathetic like that.

So yun na nga diba? My driver was like all scared pa and was really shaking when he told me that the guy was bleeding on the side. And not only that pare, HE EVEN COMMANDED ME to let the guy in. I mean, who's the boss ba? So I just told him to shut up and ignore the guy and get the hell out of that place. I told na lang the kulit native to ask for help from other people because my car was not designed to bring dying patients no. I gave him na lang 500 bucks to buy for himself some band aids and alcohol to stop the bleeding because the blood is starting to smell like lansa na. So there, another good deed na naman for me pare.

Ok na sana the incident eh. Kaso my stupid mom lang talaga was like pampasira ng aura. When I got home kasi kanina and told her about the incident, she told me na, "You should have helped the guy hijo. Kawawa naman. What if that guy is the breadwinner of his family tapos mamatay dahil hindi mo tinulungan?" I mean... do'h!!! It's not my fault that he got held up kanina. Probably he was flashing his celfone while waiting for a ride. So it was his fault not mine. Tanga kasi that guy eh.

Crazy Japanese (must watch!)

Was browsing the web kanina pare when I came across this uber hilarious video feed. Proof that Japanese are crazy people.. true pare! Hahaha!

Feeling the Drift

Shit talaga the couple of weeks that I had pare. I was too busy juggling my time between personal and professional life that I sometimes tend to make kalimot na my other commitments. Useless naman kasi the native secretary that I have. She's like walang alam talaga pare but to make pacute. As if naman I will make her pansin no. I hate bobo girls kaya. Not to mention stupid and nincomputerate pa! Don't want to elaborate na pare bout her kabobohan because I'm having breakouts na just by talking about stupid people.

So yun na nga diba? I was really hilo na because of the tons of commitments tapos some natives working for us are all bobo pa. It's like 99.9 percent of them don't have brains pare. Kaya naman my talino was like always drained because I am doing na all the thinking for them. Been thinking na nga of acquiring the position of my dad as the "fireman" of our company because I've been dying to fire na all of the bobo natives.

Buti na lang the Mario Badescu skin care package I ordered online from mariobadescu.com arrived kaninang morning lang pare. I think kasi na the roac treatment is not enough na to handle the stress I'm experiencing almost everyday. The price nga naman you have to pay just to maintain your goodlooks pare. But its ok lang, Dra. Munoz of Belo is like so lapit lang sa office namin.


Also pare, been reading nga pala the book of Connie Shelton which I borrowed from an editor friend. Been thinking na kasi of writing my own book and publishing it. I can feel na nga the Pulitzer prize talking to me pare. As in major connection! Actually, that's my true calling naman eh, to become a writer. Thanks nga pala to all the publishers emailing me and urging me to write a book. I'm working on it na. ;)

Hilariously Stoopid was unable to report last Wednesday pare, because the old native was like may sakit ata, which made me very happy because I got the chance to drive na naman for myself. Siempre pare, I felt na naman the drift while taking all the curves. Coolness talaga pare my uber bilis driving. Sayang lang talaga na I haven't got the chance to make bangga some orcs crossing the streets of Ayala. Probably they're all inside na the PUVs that time so I enjoyed my uber bilis driving na lang.

So I called na lang a chick who's been dying to go out with me pero I was the one who was making pakipot kasi she's not my type pare. Claude was not available na naman kasi that time pare because she's like so inlababo sa panget nyang boylet. Sabagay, they're soo bagay naman pare. Hahaha. So yun na nga diba, so I decided to invite na lang the girl who's been drooling to have dinner with me at the Kitchen, Greenbelt 3. I'm not all bad naman kasi pare. I have the gift naman of making other people's dreams into reality no. I guess its ok to do good from time to time din. I have a soft spot din naman in my puso for other people. Afterall, I'm still human and not bato pare.

After dinner, I invited her to go to church at Baclaran. Because its been quite tagal na since the last time I visited that place. I would like to pray lang na sana bigyan na ni Lord ng brains ang other people para wala ng stupid sa mundo pare. And sana wala na all the masa together with their kadire houses. Na that the Billions of pesos allotted for the pork barrels of the greedy officials be given na lang to some decent housing projects and some livelihood programs for all the baho natives. Para wala ng eyesore sa kalsada. Also, sana wala ng poser sa Ayala and hope that some people (specially orcs) will learn on how to act according to their appropriate social strata and means and that they get rid na of their baho outfits.

So there.

Stupid Movie.

Ok pare, was really uber bored kanina so I decided to watch Superman Returns at Glorietta 4. I texted Claude and Jeff but it seemed the two were out na naman. So I called na lang the girl Claude introduced to me at Max Brenner, a couple of weeks ago. We traded number kasi before. Actually, she asked for my number pare. See pare, I'm that hot! Kaya girls are all making kulit to my friends for my number. Her looks is kinda ok naman. The 'pwede na' type. The only problem lang pare is her height. She's like an arm rest lang kasi pare. Pero I'm cool naman with it so ok na.

She replied after five rings with "Who's this?". I was tahimik lang on the other side. Shit talaga pare! Major turnoff talaga! So I made putol na lang the line. I hate kasi burara girls. Obviously she lost the card I gave her at Max Brenner. Sayang talaga pare. I gave her a chance pa naman to be with me and she blew it pa. She's bobo kasi.

Good thing my mom was out kanina so I got the chance to drive for myself without Hilariously Stoopid messing with my aura.

So yun na nga diba? I was like riding on air with my uber bilis driving and it only took me 5 minutes (which would normally take 30 minutes with Hilariously Stoopid driving) from our house to Glorietta. Can't wait na nga for Drag Racing Pinoy to reopen their site kasi I think I belong to that group. I can even do the drift na nga pare while driving pababa at Rufino towers. Eh Rufino is notorious pa naman for having the narrowest parking pababa and paakyat ng floors. Yeah pare, I'm that galing talaga at driving so there's no point na talaga in hiring stupid natives as my driver pa.

I got the last full show at cinema 2 (11 PM)... kasi all the earlier show time were all sold out na pare. So I made tambay na lang at Starbs while enjoying a cup of chino. I made no pansin na lang at the all the loser-poser orcs making lipana around the cinema floor. I made it clear that my seat is far from the masa-crowded timezone which is full of baho natives that time... probably waiting for Superman din. I focused na lang my attention to my cup of chino for the solid caffeine rush. Dami kasing attention-getters sa crowd and they are irritating my aura. Good thing bilis lang mag fly ng oras kanina...

After the movie, I was like really disappointed talaga pare because of the uber daming flaws. I mean, Superman Returns is the year's most stupid movie made for stupid people and I am the one tasked to figure that out. Really disturbing talaga pare...

1. Diba pare, Superman and Lex Luthor were of the same age lang? Diba nga friends pa sila before they became enemies. How come sa movie, Lex was portrayed as matanda na?

2. Correct me if I'm wrong pare pero I dont recall Superman and Lois Lane having sex to produce a child which is hikain pa!

3. Up to now, sumasakit pa rin my brain thinking how come nobody still can't figure out that Clark Kent is Superman provided all the people at Daily Planet are fond of detective work since most of them are journalists/reporters nga. Are they all that stupid talaga or may magic powers lang talaga the eyeglass of superman, rendering him incognito whenever he wears it.

4. What's with the kulot na bangs pare? I mean its pretty obvious naman na straight hair ni Clark sa movie tapos whenever he change into Superman na, the kulot bangs suddenly appear.

5. Superman is gay. Just notice the leg position whenever he lift his feet off the ground. Kadiri pare no?

6. Superman is laging handa pare. because he only needs to make hawi lang his clothes to reveal his costume. I mean, super lambot ba his costume for no one to notice it while at work. Specially the Superman boots which he always wear under his black shoes (?)!. The layered getup must be really init pare.

Now I know where the orcs got their style in layered clothing. Kaya naman I'll bet an arm and a leg that Superman has BO pare.

7. There was an incident sa movie pa where Lois Lane was slammed on the head by the vault's door which was made entirely out of steel. She fell pa nga unconcious sa tubig. The question is, how come she suffered no bukol? Not even minor bleeding pare. Eh it was like very lakas kaya ng pagkaka-slam on her head. Probably she's hard core pare. Internal hemorrhage in the head. Big time!

8. After an earthquake, there should be a big tidal wave. That was missing pare. I anticipated pa naman that part.

Dami pa sana pare.. pero I really have to hit the sack now. It's morning na pala. Basta, I'm giving the movie -10 out of 10 because it sucked... as in major!

Later pare.

Black Propaganda

My stupid mom was really hysterical kanina pare... because one of our higop (take note pare, it's higop na.. not just sipsep lang!) native muchachas showed her a text message about the MoA. She even called me up and forwarded the same message to my cell. Here's the exact message:

"Important advisory, iwas muna sa Mall of Asia, dagat ito dati, may mga cracks pala duon na kinoberan na lang ng carpets and paint. Hindi ito pinapaalam ng management syempre. Remember, the pre-opening incident kung saan a part of it collapsed and not only that, malapit tayo sa Indonesia where more than 4,000 were killed sa lindol. Earthquakes are unpredictable so take care. I love you bebe."

I mean, that was really pathetic diba pare? Eh it's obvious naman na the text message was forwarded lang to our "higop" maid by her security guard boyfriend --- A black propaganda thru text against MoA. And, what's with the "I love you bebe." ba?! Hahaha! I told nga my mom to calm down. And I even cracked a joke pa regarding the "I love you bebe" to her... I told her, "Mom, I'm no longer a baby anymore no. So please, stop calling me "baby" and get rid of Hilariously Stoopid because I don't need a driver na. Specially pa an old, good-for-nothing, bobo, and stoopid driver like him." She just told me to shut up na lang and be nice to the old katutubo and also to confirm with the admin of MoA about the cracks and inquire about the building's stability. Because if the rumor is true daw, she will make pasara our store. Well, for me, nothing new pare. She's been a worrywort since like tagal na.

So yun na nga diba? My mom was really kulet na kanina pero I just stayed cool lang. I don't wanna mess kasi with my aura na pare. I've been getting nothing but good vibes lang lately kasi. And not only that, Claude even made biro if I am committing daw ba obagi overdose because of the glow. Hahaha. Glow my ass Claude! You bitch! Hahaha! You knew pretty well why I'm happy for the past few days. I'll just make kwento na lang next time... *Coughs*

By the way, I found this javascript russian translation program from the i am bored website. Just put lang your name and hit the submit button to know it's russian translation. Enjoy pare... Hahaha! (Courtesy of JackAss - MTV)

Enter your name and hit the "Submit" button to translate it.

Drool All You Want!

Pampasira talaga ng aura the call I got kanina pare. Imagine, the biatch called me just to remind me lang that her wedding is tomorrow na. I mean, is she ok lang ba? Obviously, she was trying to make paselos na naman pero its not working na. The hell talaga pare! I guess I have to end na posting about her. Kumukulo talaga my blood pare. I don't want to make patol na lang to her kababawan no.

So yun na nga diba? I was really infuriated na kanina because of the pampasira ng mood call so I decided to go to Coffeebean Convergys na lang to replenish my aura and to try my new Macbook that I got from Apple Center last Saturday. It's bundled na with 3 years Applecare Warranty. Nice pare no? It's about time na naman kasi to upgrade my luma ng Powerbook. I think kasi may problem na sya sa socket where you plug in the adapter. Newly replaced lang kasi the battery through Apple's battery exchange program pero its really taking me soo fucking tagal to charge it fully na. Baka loose na the power socket. Damn! I guess, I'll have to make it pamana na lang to one of my kulit cousins.


So there I was, enjoying my new Macbook when a fellowship of orcs came in... together with their baho getups and second hand gadgets. So my saya was really short-lived pare. The hell! The air became smelly na naman kasi because of their lakas BO no. Tapos one was wearing pa an Ipod shuffle on her neck... I mean, what the fuck was that? And not only that, I noticed pa pare that most of them has an earphone dangling out of their kadire outfits. I bet those were just AM/FM stereos being sold at the bangketas for 50 pesos kaya they are all hiya to show it to their kauri. Hahaha! So I made tawa na lang and made lipat to the couch far from the orc gathering. Don't want to irritate my ears from their nonsensical blabbering kasi no. Basta one thing is for sure pare.... I love my new Macbook. ;)

Another Bad Day Pare

Uber pagod talaga lately pare because of the uber ng dami things I have to attend to. Every morning, I have to sign some important papers sa office then at noon, I have to check on our other offices. Tapos the Japanese expat we hired pa to run one of our office was really walang silbi rin. Every night naman, I have to go pa to MoA to check on our native staffs and to tally the cash sa vault and to see if they deposited yesterday's cash sales sa bank. So bobo naman kasi some of them eh. I mean, do I really have to make turo paulit-ulit pa everything for them to fully understand on how to do it right? I was born to supervise lang kaya and not do manual labor pare. It's their job kaya. I mean, kaya nga we hired some masa peeps as crew because I knew they were good at selling and communicating with their kauri tapos I will get disappointed lang pala. Sabagay, what can you expect nga pala from them?

Kaninang morning pala pare, kumulo talaga my blood. Kasi naman, because of 3 consecutive sleepless nights, I decided to buy for myself some cup of chino at Starbs, Standard Chartered. Shit talaga pare! T'was early morning pa lang pero the place was like puno na with orc-like jologs. Obviously loser-posers lang naman. Making kwento to their panget friends and making loud tawas eh so mura lang kaya their drinks no. As in they are sipping it slowly pare to make it tagal maubos. So, my early plan of staying muna at Starbs to make pahinga got sira pa. The place kasi pare was really not good for my aura.

So yun na nga diba? The wedding is nearing pa. So I really can't help na kumulo talaga my blood. My mom kasi asked me yesterday if I will go to the wedding. I told her na lang, "Ma, Ysabelle was like tanda na no! And we're not even close anymore. And besides I have so many things to do pa. Her wedding will just ruin my tight schedule." Fuck my mom no. She's like walang alam kaya na Ysabelle is a bonafide slut. Gold-digger and I think she's a lesbo pa pare. Making patol to that gay Bobby dude.

And this one goes to all the baho orcs posting some death threats and other crapolas on my blog, fuck you all no. You're all such losers kaya. Wala kayong say here so keep your bobo comments to yourselves. Don't you have lives ba?

What the @#$#?!!!

I was the one who received the mails from the courier kanina. Kasi naman pare I wasn't able to sleep last night because of the tons of paperworks I'm doing for the new store we opened at the Mall of Asia. Been very busy for the past couple of weeks. I was really pagod na pare tapos tangina pa one letter I got kanina... It really ruined my aura... not to mention, my day! Uber pampasira ng morning pare. Tama ba naman to give me a wedding invitation pa to her wedding? The biatch! It's obvious naman na she was just making papansin lang because I stopped na from responding to her emails no. She's such a slut kaya. I know this is just one way to make paselos. Pero this time it's no longer working pare. I had enough na of all pampasira ng aura. They are just cramping my style lang naman pare. As if naman my world will stop if she marries that fugly Bobby shit. Now I'm really convinced na she's nothing but basura pare. Bimbo would be an understatement to her kabobohan. Damn! There's a whole buncha cute girls pa naman out there who's dying to go out with me. So, I threw nga her invitation straight into the trashcan. As if naman I'll spend my money going to NY just to see a moro-moro wedding. No way pare! I'm not that bobo kaya.

So yun na nga diba? I was really infuriated na kanina at the breakfast table tapos the sipsep katulong pa was asking me whats wrong daw. Why the long face... What the fuck?! Yeah! What's wrong na ba talaga with our society nowadays? I mean, whats with the feeling close ba? The president lifted na ba the demarcation line between the working masa and the amos, that gave them the right to speak freely as if feeling friends? Damn! As if naman I'll get something from her katiting na brain if I tell her on what got me mad. I mean I don't even kilala her name tapos she'll make tanong pa on what's my problem daw ba. It's really hard na talaga to find decent katutubo helpers nowadays pare that will treat you with respect. That's the problem when the amo is soo mabait eh, the muchachos and muchachos starts to grow their evil horns na - Like my ancient driver, Hilariously Stoopid. Do I have to put a signage pa ba na helpers are not allowed to talk to their amos unless told to do so? So, instead of calling my mom to tell her how bastos na naman the helper she hired... I kept my silence na lang. Just had my monthly check up kasi with Dra. Muñoz of Belo yesterday. Hirap ng pumanget just like the pathetic katulong no.

Tomorrow nga pala will go to Tagaytay to do another buying for our store sa MoA. Will post na lang uli some other time.

Hilariously Stoopid

Been very busy for the past few days pare plus I really need pa to detoxify na my aura because Mr. Hilariously Stoopid has been continuously dissing me. I really hate it talaga when I am surrounded with people suffering from severe case of low I.Q. Tama ba naman to ask me for directions around Makati. The hell talaga pare... I'm not even close to looking like MMDA patolas no. I looked at him sama nga then called my mom saying, "Mom, how come you gave me this native driver. And I thought Tonyo was stupid na.. meron pa pala more stupid than him. I'll trade him with Dario. I think it's about time for you naman to experience kabobohan at its finest." Tapos she said lang, "I'm having my diamond peel (AGAIN?! Her face is so nipis na kaya.) now hijo, will call you back later." From there, I think I'm stuck na talaga for all eternity to Mr. Hilariously Stoopid. Shit talaga pare. I really can't find any logic in hiring for me a driver pa. I mean, I'm really good at driving na kaya. I can even make my car sipol because of my uber cool bilis driving. There was an instance pa nga last week when he asked me where to take the left turn at Ortigas going to Podium, I told him to just make bangga na lang a traffic enforcer kasi that will be an indication that he needs to take the left turn na. Tapos he said, "Ok bosing." I mean, is that bobo or plain stupid lang talaga? I should have told him to jump out of the car while it was still moving so that I could drive na lang for myself. Tapos just yesterday lang when I told him to come with me inside the Manila Peninsula because I need to get some packages from Tita Minda, the pathetic driver was really shaking at the couch. I asked him whats with the ngatog and he told me na, "Ser, hiya lang po ako sa ibang tao. Masyado po palang sosyal sa loob ng mga hotel." I made ngiti na lang and thought, ganun ba talaga the feeling if balat mahirap? I somewhat felt pity na rin to the poor guy. Well, I have a puso rin naman pare minsan no. I'm just glad I'm not like him. As in, not even close! He was such a character talaga. And the attempt to schmooze with me almost everyday is really irritating. Feeling close? The hell!

Blog Worth and the Kulit Natives

Ok here's the deal pare, I'm really annoyed now by some katutubo posers emailing me stuff on how they love daw other people's blog and that my dicklit daw is full of crapolas. The hell! I mean, my blog kaya is the real deal pare. I know it is not as boring as the Zafra site with her uber boring choice of words. And hell! Not even comparable to the pathetic blog of that Brian Fag. Not even close pare. Mine is waaaay too cool. Let the blog worth do the talking pare:

cofibean.blogspot.com = blog is worth $69,438.42.
bryanboy.com = blog is worth $186,298.20.
twistedbyjessicazafra.blogspot.com = blog is worth $234,284.10.

See pare. I mean, you're not so bobo naman to see the difference right? They've been blogging since forever na pero ako, I started last October lang pero the traffic was really overwhelming na and what's really katawa pare is that I'm not blogging everyday pa! What more pa kaya if my blog is like tagal na rin? That would be like million dollar worth of blog na pare. I was really lito na nga on the bulk of emails I'm receiving everyday. Sometimes nga I'm just deleting na lang lahat ng emails from my yahoo inbox dahil its soo dami na talaga.

And with regards to the google ads I put on my site pare, please lang, it's not uber studded kaya like the other pathetic blog/s I mentioned.

So, I guess you get the point na pare. I'm the real deal. True blooded writer here pare. And I don't even need to brag about my achievements. I'm made na kaya.

So yun na nga diba? I was really annoyed na sa mga loser comments and emails tapos my mom hired pa another driver for me. And I thought it was goodbye na to the native katutubo drivers. Shit talaga pare... I have a new driver na - Mang Hilario. Tang-ina talaga, the name would suggest agad na he's ancient na rin no. Stupid talaga my mom for hiring another old driver. I mean, she's blind ba not to realize na she's risking my life by hiring stupid old natives? The hell talaga pare. I mean is there anything more native and older than the name Hilario? Damn! I really need to get out uli of this country pare. I need to replenish my aura on another bansa to feel better. :(

Kapuso Bungle.

Can't help talaga but laugh when I first saw this video feed pare. It's really funny kaya. See how the katutubo reporter made himself look so fucking stupid live on national TV. Uber funny talaga! It really made me sooo saya! Hahaha!

Kadiri Places this Holy Week

Ok pare. Just stayed home this Holy Week because orcs are like scattered almost everywhere nowadays. I mean, I made a list na nga on where not to go to this Lenten Season.



1. Boracay : This is a big nono place for sosy people round this time. The place is literally littered with baho natives and bobo orcs. The buhangin is very panghi na rin around this time of year because of the ill-mannered natives who's making paikot-ikot pa sa sand. Yeah... literally spreading skin diseases and baho smell sa buhangin. So if you're still kulit and made punta pa rin to bora, please don't forget to wear your thickest flip flops and make dala na rin alcohol to rid yourself of some skin diseases coming from the baho natives. A gas mask is also a must! It's better to enjoy na lang the beach on TV. That's what I did pare, I just recorded na lang Bora the last time I went there. So I am now enjoying the beach minus the natives and orcs right at the comfort of my own room.



2. Puerto Gallera : The bakla-mecca during this time of year. It's like all the baklas from all over the Philippines do a pilgrimage to this place every Lenten Season. So expect loud, flambouyant and baho people along the beach. The shoreline pa will surely be shit-laden because of the luwag ng butthole of those gay orcs. Damn pare! I bet that if a terrorist will blow this place up round this time of year, 99.9% of the bakla population here sa pinas will be like sent na to oblivion. As in wala na. So if you're looking for a quiet place to make dasal this season, literally avoid this place pare. Sayang lang your sandals if you stepped on some gayshit.

3. Bus Stations/Piers : Here is where all the baho loser natives make siksikan to go to the province during this time of year. The vile-stench of the general masa is really evident here. So it is really advisable to bring some cotton balls dabbed in alcohol to put inside ur nose to at least filter the filthy air round this places. Hirap na panahon now pare. I think 95% of natives are carriers na of some hybrid airborne diseases. So stay away from these places. Mura lang kaya domestic flight nowadays to anywhere sa pinas.

So there pare. I made na my top 3 places not to go to this holy week sa pinas. So, if you really care for your skin and your well being, STAY AWAY from these places. But if you have pam-Belo, I guess its ok lang to indulge and have fun. Just don't forget to take at least 1,500 mg of Vitamin C to protect yourself from the native diseases you might get. Mas better if you go to a private resort na lang to enjoy fully your summer vacation.

Enjoy.

Tiesto, Manila PICC Forum

Dj Tiesto, the self proclaimed World's Best DJ held his boring spin at the Manila PICC Forum last Friday. Grabe pare, and I thought he was the best... Yeah, he was the ultimate best loser in my list right now! As in! I was given a VIP pass pa naman by a client tapos masasayang lang pala my time listening to his loser tracks. One lang I like sa lahat ng crappy music he played - "Lethal Industry". The rest were all sakit na sa tenga to listen. The bass pa was really sabog.





So yun na nga diba? The spin was really boring na tapos the place is filled pa with baho natives. Kadire talaga pare the stench of some katutubo posers sa VIP stand. Tang-ina talaga pare, I think they gatecrashed lang tapos they made salisi lang to the VIP section kasi they really look the part pare. They all look so mahirap kaya. I told nga the guard to throw them out the venue kasi they are all so cramping my style lang. I was uber gwapo pa naman tapos madidikit lang sa kadire balat-mahirap na skin. No way pare! The hell! Why naman kasi Smart addict is giving out pa passes to the masa people. I mean, meron naman Hed Kendi for the mahihirap, why naman they have to mingle pa with the glitteratis. Diba dapat stick to your own kind? Kaya smelling baho na pati rare events because of the baho katutubos.



I was asar na tapos malas pa pare that night because I lost my Nokia 9300. Shit talaga. I bet some orcs made it inside the Forum tapos made nakaw my cel. Kaiba na talaga mundo nowadays pare, it's like we real people are being outnumbered na by the multitudes of wannabes. Social climbers trying to act mayaman pero looking basura naman. What the fuck are they thinking kaya?



So I bought na lang a shirt at the lobby then made alis na. I left early kasi I was really bored to death na. And besides, it's so hirap kayang huminga because of the vile stench. Tapos, Claude was nowhere in sight pa. Not only that pare, some stupid driver parked pa his fucking mumurahin kia pride at the likod of my car. The hell! I was really infuriated sa katangahan of some natives. So I called na lang some kadiri tambays to help me get rid of the car kasi I really dont have time pa to wait for the hampaslupang owner of the bulok kia pride. They made bitbit-tulak na lang the car out of my way out. I gave them na lang 500 pesos and told them to make batak the wiper of the car just to get even for the owner's katangahan. Hahaha.

Ziggurat Resto, Makati Ave.

Hahaha! Grabe talaga the native hookers sa Makati Ave pare. It's so funny how they made pakita their legs eh it's so kadiri naman. They all look so pangit ha. Tapos there are some foreigners pa making pacute infront of them. As in yuck pare! I think I saw one pa nga na may syphillis sa face. She tried to hide it lang with the use of some masa concealer like chinchansu (or whatever it is you masa people call it. I just heard it from my yaya before. basta all I can remember is that my yaya's face before was like really kintab after using it. I even told pa nga my mom na, "Mom look oh, yaya is trying to scare me na naman.") I mean, mura lang kaya Yves St. Laurent's Touche Eclat or Prescriptive's Comouflage Cream to hide her face. Yeah, her face pare. Kasi it's so disgusting na. I'm wondering nga how I managed to look at her for about an hour din. I was chilling pa naman at Ziggurat Makati while enjoying some mid-east cuisines.

So yun na nga diba? I was like alone lang trying to replenish my aura because it was all badvibes sa bahay dahil my stupid mom kasi won't allow me to drive my car. Since she fired nga my bobo driver, Mang Tonyo, she tasked Mang Dario to be my driver for the whole week until wala pa me new driver. My dad kasi went to Europe for some business meetings. I told her nga na, "Mom naman. I'm no longer a kid na kaya. I can even make sagasa na nga some orcs without being caught because I'm so galing na at driving." She made irap lang and told Mang Dario that he too will get fired if she doesn't made sunod the utos of my stupid mom. So that's the story pare why I took a cab and went to makati ave alone. Been meaning sana to go to Rockwell last night kaso Claude was with her pangit boyfriend na naman so I decided to try Ziggurat resto na lang. Yeah, alone pare. I saw Ziggurat kasi being featured on this site -- Philippine's Ultimate Guide to Restaurants plus I also saw it pa being featured on a couple of magazines so I want to make subok the place and make tikim the food. I ordered for a personal platter of their mixed kebab special, Ziggurat iced coffee, baklava and an apple flavored shisha. Grabe pare the kebabs ha! They are all so moist and tender. Unlike the ones at Husseins and the recently sunog Jerusalem which is kinda hilaw pa and medyo tigas. I also love the baklava. I just can't help but make tawa at the baklava. I made biro pa nga the waitress na I wanted some "is he gay" for dessert. Ok na sana pare kasi she laughed at my joke tapos sabay asked me on what I just said daw kasi they don't have it on the menu. See pare... basta natives slow. So I made ngiwi na lang and told her to just get my order agad. I saw some familiar faces kasi. Hirap na pare for someone to see me smiling at a katutubo waitress no. There are many gossip mongers pa naman.


Feeling loner talaga my drama last night pare. The good thing was that even though I'm alone, I'm still gwapo. I had my hair cut kasi yesterday at Piandre so I look really hot sporting my new hair do last night. I caught pa nga the native waiters staring at me like I was the food no. I mean they can drool all they want pare but I think it's impolite to stare at people kaya. So there I was... looking really gwapo and yet alone. As what I made sabi kanina, I even spent an hour staring at a hooker across the street. I thought I was going ancient na and buti na lang some college cuties also came to sample the place. Eh I was enjoying the shisha pa naman. So I tried to make pasikat to them and offered the shisha saying, "Hey ladies, would you like to blow my pipe?"... And then the place became tahimik..... Shit pare! Then I realized what I've just said. Kaso it was too late dahil I received na agad a sampal from the panget pa na girl. Of all cuties pare.. why naman the panget pa was the one who laid her filthy hand on my face. So yun na nga diba? I was really flushed because of embarrasment so I just asked for my bill and left the place. The hell talaga pare. They are missing out!

Still, I recommend Ziggurat Restaurant located at the ground floor of Sunette Tower, Makati Ave for the food and the nice experience. Just watch out for the chubby panget girl.

Acura

Wow pare! At long last, my mom fired na the stupid old native driver Mang Tonyo. It's about time naman kasi pare no. I mean he's too old na tapos bobo pa. He was making paawa pa kanina infront of my mom. Kadire talaga the scenario pare. Just try to imagine an old guy crying. The hell talaga pare! Really can't explain my happiness right now kasi nobody will cramp na my style from now on. Wala na the kulit Mang Tonyo who keeps on bothering me whenever I'm out partying. Bottom line --- I'm soo fucking saya now pare! Will tell you later why the old native got fired.

My dad kasi bought a new car for my mom last month as an anniversary gift. It's nothing mahal naman. The Honda Acura TSX. A 205 hp with 2.4 liter i-VTEC engine. The only cool thing about this car is technology they made sama with the car. I asked nga my mom if I could get na lang the 6-disc in-dash cd changer eh. Palit to my old skul cd player. Tutal it has other cool features naman eh. Like the bluetooth phone connectivity and the navigation system with voice recognition that is simply kainggit pare. Actually I'm planning na nga to make bangga my car para my dad will try to buy me the Acura TL which has an 8-speaker surround sound system.



So yun na nga diba? My mom really is enjoying her new car. She's no longer making sabay na nga with my dad eh. I think she has toyo na dahil she's fond na of borrowing Mang Tonyo and my Dad's driver, Mang Dario just to drive her around Makati. Dahil she feel safer daw with the two native drivers around to act as her bodyguards. She even asked my dad to hire for her some bodyguards na daw dahil you'll never know daw when the carnappers and kidnappers will strike. That's sooo fucking pathetic diba pare? Glad I'm not paranoid like her no.

Buti na lang yesterday they had a head on collision with a kia pride taxi with Mang Tonyo as her driver. Nothing to worry naman dahil they both made it alive. The car got a dent lang sa gilid aside from the busted bumper dahil nakaskas ng kadiring kariton from the masa sidewalk vendor. Don't get me wrong pare. I'm not happy because my mom's car got gasgas. it's just that, if not for that incident, my bobo native driver won't get fired kanina.

Aside from that LIBERATING incident, I have nothing else to talk about pare. Siguro tama na muna that for now.

And to the pathetic orc who keeps on sending the kadire photo to my email add. Fuck you pare!

Solace

The bora was not so good pare. The supposedly pahinga turned into something tragic talaga. My aura is really low right now. Shit naman kasi some of my barkadas. Tama ba naman kasi to bring their partners with them. It's obvious naman na they are just making painggit lang. Yeah pare. I know, I'm still single. Pero do they really have to show pa right in my face na I'm like single pa? Kadire talaga the orgy they did at the Maharlika room of Pearl of the Pacific. If only I knew na gagawin lang nila motel the room I rented di sana I took the single deluxe room na lang. Up to now, I can't forget the kadiri scenario talaga of the place... specially the abnormally large dark nipples of G-----'s gf. Tang-ina pare. Weird talaga those nipples. Almost occupying 99.9 percent of her tits which is flat na tapos fake pa! As in prunes talaga pare... major! Still giving me nightmares up to now. Damn!

Pero in fairness pare, they made me realize one thing.. Kalungkot pala when you have no partner at such romantic places. Kaya naman I spent na lang the rest of my 3-day stint at Bora creating a poem for someone I missed sooo fucking much.

Solace

Within your arms, I tried to seek,
Comfort in sorrow, misfortune and distress.
For heaven calm you were...
When everywhere I turned, chaos is at its best.
Threatening silence by its troubled ways.

Engulfed by quietude in my moment of sadness.
Awed by the way you made me felt.
The warmth of your breath right by my ears,
The sweet caresses you made to my hair,
Even at my flaws, you dare not speak...
Silence that echoed the acceptance that you made.

In your anamnesis,
I asked the stars, "Why?"
I questioned a lot...
The heavens opened wide
and replied, "Why not?"

Kaiba talaga when you do something straight from your puso no? The emotion is really damang-dama. I'm not rushing naman pare, pero I think it's about time for me to look for a partner na. Can't bear na kasi sometimes the lungkot na aking dama.

*Sigh!*

Alter Cofi

Pare! Sorry for not updating that often. Kasi naman I was really uber busy kaya. So many things to attend to and sunod-sunod pa all the meetings with clients. Kapagod na nga my schedule eh. How I wished na they would legalize na human cloning para I'll just clone myself and have my other self do all the work for me. That would be really nice siguro pare no? Just imagine, if only those great Scientists realized na the perfect specimen for human cloning is here in the Philippines, all the press siguro will make kagulo at our house. Damn pare! Imagine CNNMatthews, BBC World, ANSA Italia, Reuters, etc will all make habol of me just for an exclusive interview. Well, sorry na lang to them pare no? That was so fucking lame kaya. And besides, they'll just mess with my aura lang naman pare diba? I'm made na kaya.

So yun na nga diba? I was like hilo na thinking on what to do next tapos my katutubo secretary pa was like all bobo pa! My god pare, she's so tanga talaga. I mean, I gave her na nga a PDA phone to take care of my sked tapos just yesterday lang when she told me na she's not fond of the PDA phone daw kasi it's so hightech daw. She's more comfortable daw using an organizer in taking down notes. The hell pare! The technology is libre na kaya. And besides, what will some of my clients say if they see my native alalay just writing on a cheap organizer?! The hell talaga no! Image is everything pare. Baka they'll think pa na I'm poor na kasi I'm not able to afford a gadget for my personal secretary. Damn! Natives talaga are so primitive sometimes!

Kanina nga pala I turned down an offer from Claude and Andrew to watch a movie. Brokeback Mountain daw. The hell pare! That flick was so fucking gay kaya. And I'm not in any way near to becoming one! Kadiri kasi their lifestyles eh. Not to mention I don't like them at all! Its simple lang naman pare diba? Most of the slaves working at a callcenter are, if not lesbos, gays. So that means, the call center industry is being run by majority of the gay culture. And if its gay culture we are talking about, expect pare, we are talking about immorality and kabastusan... as in major! They are loud, panget and not to mention, all so baho. Tama ba naman kasi to make the pwet as a sex organ? There's nothing on it kaya but shit. Just like them -- looking and smelling like one. Hay! I rest na nga my case pare. Baka kasi some loser gay orcs na naman will flood my email and comment box just like before kasi they are like sapul to what I'm saying right now. The hell naman kasi to all you loser gar orcs. Please make dutdot na lang the pwet of your partner and leave my private thoughts alone. Wala naman kayo say here.


Bukas nga pala is my flight to Bora with some friends. Just wanna catch some tan lang for my putla na skin. Haven't got the chance to make pasikat kasi sa araw for the past few months because of my busy sked. I think it's time naman for me to unwind.

Siguro tama na muna that for now. Will post na lang my trip to bora next time.

Broken Spirit

Ok here's the deal pare. I lost to some lame katutubos. :(

Fuck talaga pare. Don't want to act as a sore loser pero the trophy was really talking to me that day. I felt na nga success when I saw it eh. The feeling weas soo real pare so I made congratulate na nga myself before the tourney. Kaso some bobo caddy kasi really got me infuriated. I made some angal nga regarding that tanda girl. She was like lola na kasi tapos she's the one pa who got assigned to me. The hell! As in, what are they thinking ba? I lost tuloy to some poser katutubos. I told pa naman all my friends na I'll bring home the trophy + the raffle car that day. Omen lang talaga the old lady kaya my aura til now is still sira because of the defeat. I really can't take it pare. I'm like sooo fucking down for the past few days. Hope they reconsider the tourney and see some pandadaya sa winners. Fucking kainis talaga. Nasayang lang my getup that day.

So yun na nga diba? I lost na nga sa Mango Tee tapos some bobo orcs pa are like making pampasira na naman here sa blog ko. What's up with you callcenter losers ba? Please stop acting as if naman you know about the holes sa ACC eh in your dreams lang naman that you'll get a chance to go there. Probably the closest you can get is to make silip na lang to some photos I took. Major losers!

Can't you read ba guys? I changed na nga my topic from "Callcenters are for Losers" to "Make Poverty History" dahil I want the masa natives history tapos you orcs are like visible pa rin. I remember suggesting na nga to the local government to bulldoze na all the paper houses and squatters area around Makati and Manila, and have them evacuated to some isolated island near Peru para wala na all the baho problems and eye sore here sa pinas. Kaya never na unlad our economy because of you orcs. Pathetic whiners.

Also, been having problems nga pala with the Japanese partners of our new firm. And they said Japanese were great businessmen. What a bunch of crapolas!

Ysabelle nga pala emailed me to make kamusta how I'm doing for the past few months. Also, reminding me of her wedding this June. The biatch! She's so kapal pare no? I bet she's just making paselos lang dahil she's starting to realize na I'm way better than that fag guy she got. I think it's a big palabas lang to make papansin saken. It's obvious naman na she likes me kaya. Bitchy no?

Well siguro tama na muna that for now. Have to do something important pa kasi. And to all the guys emailing me some good things, thanks pare ha? Ingats kayo sa iba.

Mango Tee

Pare! My sked was really uber busy for the past few days and it'll continue pa til next month! Tapos the 21st Mango Tee Tournament at the Alabang Country Club in soo lapit pa! Buti na lang I got in early. Full na kasi all the slots. My fucking uncle pa is begging me to cancel na daw kasi he's been dreaming of joining daw this tournament since last year pa. Eh soo stupid kaya sya for not signing in early tapos he will make kulit pa for me to cancel daw mine. As in asa pa him pare no! Hahaha! I went nga to ACC yesterday to practice na my winning shots. I'm so like Tiger Woods kasi. I caught pa nga some chicks checking me out yesterday sa 15-hole course. Kasi I was like uber gwapo kaya yesterday with my Rudy Project Rydon shades, Perry Ellis Pique Shirt, Gellar Fatique Short and flat cap by Ralph Lauren. Pampasira lang the mumurahin mizuno Airoframe Stand bag that I got from my dad. Baka kasi magasgasan all my Taylormade driver, irons and putters. I told nga my native caddy to take extra care of my golf clubs dahil mas mahal pa yun compared to her life no.

So yun na nga diba? I was like hitting like Tiger Woods talaga pare. I bet the bobo Japanese thats with me were all hanga yesterday because I'm soo galing talaga. I think I should tell na Mam Neneng, the Mango Tee coordinator to put my name na on the Winner's cup dahil sure winner na kaya me pare. As in major!

Below are some photos nga pala I took yesterday at the ACC. From golf carting around ACC, shots of the bobo japanese hitting the golf ball, the 15-hole course and the Skyline bar inside the country club. I had the usual beef bento and c2 lang. Kasi I need to look after my weight na. I'm gaining some weight na because of the food binging for the past few days.











Also to all the readers sending me support photos. Please stop from sending me shopped photos kasi I dont have use for it kaya. How many times do I have to tell you guys na stop from being so bobo and just send me unedited ones.

On our way back to Makati yesterday, I told Mang Tonyo to fill up the gas tank of the car kasi I will be using it tomorrow papuntang QC. I have a business meeting kasi with a travel agency regarding some projects due next month. Kaso the filthy old Mang Tonyo asked for an additional buckeroos dahil tumaas na naman daw the gasoline. The fuck! And I thought the buying power of the native piso is going up na. The hell with the bulok government that you have! Grabe na corruption, bulok pa the sistema. Why naman kasi we don't let the Americans na lang take over our country para wala na all the hassles tapos all of us will become automatic US citizens pa!



Naida nga pala got fired yesterday. My mom kasi learned about the ambisyosa journal that she has. Kaya ayun. The hell talaga pare! Kadire talaga the dreams of some natives no?

And to all the baho orcs. You will soon work for me na. Can't wait to boss you guys na agad. This will be really good!

The Chronicles of Naida

Will tell you later pare why I called it Chronicles of Naida. Ito na muna for now...



I think I found na my true calling pare. Don't want to sound jologs or anything. Pero I think, I'm better off as an actor rather than a businessman. Kasi when I saw the movie kanina, parang the bigscreen is like talking to me.... as in major conversation pare. It's like I'm seeing na my future sa Hollywood. I would love to play the role of a handsome prince tapos Ysabelle is my princess pa! It was uber cool sana diba? Kaso, I heard na she will get married na pala this June. Shit naman kasi that bakla boyfriend of her eh! I bet she will be sorry for choosing that idiot instead of me. She's missing out on something really big pare. I pity her na tuloy. Tsk.. Tsk... Sabagay, my feelings na naman for her has faded na... I think unahin ko muna my calling as an actor diba. The hell with that biatch. It's her lost kaya.

Pero tama na muna that, I encountered an orc nga pala kanina sa G4 cinema. The hampaslupa! The hell talaga pare! Kainis talaga kanina her kabobohan for letting her cheap celfone make patunog inside the cinema. Shit talaga the ringtone pa. So kadire talaga pare. So I stood up nga and told the bitch with her boyfriend pa na..."Hey you bobo natives! Can't you see we are watching the flick here? If you don't know how to silent your cheap celfones better tapon it na lang up front para it'll be basag na lang so wala ng ingay. Kasi it's really messing with the cool sound effects sa movie!" Tapos I made tingin them sama then sat down ulit. See pare, I showed that bitch diba? As if naman she has something to prove no! Eh so katiting kaya her brain. Tapos her boyfriend pa was like trembling kanina. Hahaha! Served them right no! Fucking imbecile orcs!

So yun na nga diba? I was really irritated na naman kanina kasi some bobo orcs were like making pasabog their katangahan inside an ayala cinema pa! Buti na lang the movie was THAT GOOD for me to really enjoy it! So probably, most of you were asking na why I titled this entry "Chronicles of Naida". Naida kasi is one of our low-IQ, beauty forsaken, native housemaids. The nerve ba naman kasi pare of that basura no. Tama bang to write something about me sa diary nya. The hell! I'm not making pakialam or anything, kaso I really saw it yesterday eh. My mom kasi made utos kay Naida to buy something sa Rockwell together with Mang Andoy -- my mom's stupid driver. So yun na nga diba? The bobong utusan, she left ba naman her diary sa garden. Eh I was like tending sa cactus collection ko. So it was really inevitable for me to made basa her nonsensical journals no. I really dont know if I will laugh up to sawa pare or feel kadire because of what I read from her diary. The loser chimay has something pala in store for me. Hahaha! As if naman I will make patol to a busabos native no? The hell! Asa pa her diba pare. So there you go. I will tell nga my mom tomorrow about the diary eh para for her to fire that loser. Who knows diba, baka one day she will make sigaw na lang na I'm raping her tapos I'll be forced pa to marry a native. Kadire talaga pare the thought of it pa lang. Shit talaga!

One more thing, go watch the Chronicles of Narnia. Kudos to the director and to all the casts. Especially the white queen, Tilda Swinton. Galing talaga her portrayal. I think I love her na nga eh. In case you guys don't know pa. (And as if naman you know something.) Tilda Swinton is the Archangel Gabriel din sa movie Constantine. Classic kasi her beauty eh.

Also, to the guys sending me "love and support" photos at ihatecofi@yahoo.com ... Please. No photoshopped pics you morons.. I'll post lang the totoo ones. And to the guy writing some pathetic erotic short stories, go shove something up your ass and take a picture of it then send it to me baka you'll get a chance pa to get posted here. Loser!



By the way, I got na nga pala my second sticker card for the Starbucks Planner. Also a friendly advice nga pala, Starbucks is an evil corp. So beware! Hahaha!