Facial Foot Spa?

Tangina pare.. been itching na rin to write for quite some time now. Been busy kasi with lots of stuff lately. Tapos my aura was like drained pa most of the time because of the right and left stupidity of some of our employees. As in shit talaga!

By the way pare, just wanna suggest pala Chi, The Spa at Edsa Shangri-La. They have this uber nice na spa package which I availed yesterday - The traveller's retreat. So nice talaga the place and the treatment. The biodroga aroma *whatever-is-it-called-again?* wrap is a must pare! Sad thing Claude wasn't available na naman to enjoy the uber relaxing experience. Don't want naman to make libre Hilariously Stoopid that was waiting for me outside for a treatment. I mean, its only 6k pesos lang naman pero diba pare, im not that stupid to waste my money on another stoopid katutubo. They made my ulo soo sakit na nga at the office tapos I'll make libre pa. As in asa pa them pare. Siguro if my mood was good that time, I could have treated him pa for a foot spa sa face. As in! Tangina kasi naman the face of that old guy. I mean there's this cheap native chayote naman for instant face lift diba? Hehe. I remember kasi my yaya once cooked tinola while I was still in Baguio. Tapos she was making hiwa the chayote when I accidentally made hawak to the slices she made. And shit talaga the feeling pare. It was like the balat of my hands was treated with Botox with matching instant peeling pa! I was like crying talaga, so my yaya was like really taranta na that time on what to do. E I was like soo young kaya and beaming with innocence pa. Kaya naman when my mom called I told them that yaya made lagay lason sa food kaya it was sticky. And since I have a paranoid mother for a momma, she fired nga agad the stupid candy-ass maid and announced pa na I was like a hero because of what I have discovered. Hahaha. So funny talaga that scenario pare.

Also pare, I chatted recently at Yahoo chat (The Hot Tub) and shit! I think I have a cyberstalker pare! Below is a log of our chat:

You are in "The Hot Tub:3" ( Come on in for a soak [Notification: We are currently recording IP addresses of all Yahoo! Chat users.] )

Ihatecofi: Any hot chinita chick from makati for coffee tonight? Beautiful chinks only pls. NO maids, gays, citizens of Orcville and jologs! Males, FUCK OFF!

UglyBitch: Hi. Im a Filipina but not from mkti. Is it ok if im not beautiful. Just alluring. 27f/pque/CSR

Ihatecofi: No. Its not ok. Shoo!

ladylou4u joined the room
lincolncyfan joined the room

lincolncyfan: ANY FEMALES FOR CAM CHAT????

lincolncyfan: ANY FEMALES FOR CAM CHAT????

UglyBitch: Alam mo u are stupid. Dont you know that alluring is a synonym for beautiful? I am beautiful. Stupid.

Ihatecofi: You know what? You are the one who is sooo fucking stupid. Just because one is seductive doesnt necessarily makes her beautiful. You should go back to grade school and brush up on your english vocabulary. Now scram, you're messing my style.

sexxy_karina_750: hey guyz

UglyBitch: Really? No its not!@ I have a dictionary with me right now and it said here that alluring means beautiful.

Ihatecofi: Duh! Its not relative! Alluring is somewhat vague and abstract. And its meaning is limited only by pathetic orcs like you. So go pack your lame dictionary and get out from this channel.

UglyBitch: E TANGINA KA PALA SIGURO BAKLA KA! PIKON KA NA BAKLA KA PA! ANG PATHETIC MO! BAKA PAG NAKITA MO AKO MAGULAT KA NA AKO PALA ANG HINAHANAP MO!

Ihatecofi: I'm really sorry to burst your inflated katutubo ego, but I know what I want and ITS NOT YOU! And if ur not stupid, you'll get a hint na agad. Now I'm having doubts na nga if you are really a girl.

UglyBitch: BABAE AKO! Kahit tawagan mo pa ako ngayon!Bigay ko sau cp ko to prove that I am a girl.

Ihatecofi: Thanks but no thanks. The way you conduct your conversation suggests that your social strata is that of the native muchachas. I'd rather catch ebola and die than disgrace myself. So fuck off!

UglyBitch: Sige na nga my frog prince, i'll kiss you na lang and lets forget the fight. So, would you like to meet up with me?

Ihatecofi: Nutcase alert!

- End -

For Our Children's Children.. Tehe...

As in I asked myself literally pare... What daw she said?!

Shit Pare.. Sayang the Cars!

Claude called me yesterday to inform me about the Subic Bay cars. She made sabi lang that one of his tito daw owned one of the unclaimed luxury cars. I mean, why on hell would the government crush such precious rides? Are they insane na ba? I mean those cars when auctioned could sell for millions pa diba! It could even feed and clothe thousands of natives that are lurking the streets of metro wearing ukay ukay shirts lang. Tangina! I was like muntik ng mahimatay when I saw the video clip on youtube. My heart talaga was really aching seeing the BMW X5's and GTO sports car being crushed to zero ground level. I think I said the word shit a thousand times while watching the clip. As in shit talaga! Shit! Shit! Shit!

I remember asking my dad to call Commissioner Morales to at least save one of the remaining luxury cars para saken kasi my car was like sira na. I even heard kasi Congressman Suarez even offered 8 million for one of the luxury vehicles. E my dad was like richer naman than that congressman no. I mean, I've seen his collection of cars and its nothing fancy naman pare. My late Tito Archie has a nicer collection of muscle cars before sa California. I personally liked his 1965-1973 Classic Mustangs Collection. I wonder what happened na to those cars. I'll call nga my tita tomorrow.

Anyways pare, going back to the luxury cars. I was like making hinayang talaga to the thing they did to those precious rides... My aura literally left my body pare upon seeing those uber cool cars being smashed to like oblivion. Tangina! Are they blind ba pare not to see that those are priceless? Just one car is worth daan libong katutubo lives na? I mean, there are many squatter areas worth bulldozing dito sa pinas, why pa the cars? E diba nga mother earth is helping na get rid of all the baho masa by means of sunod-sunod ng storms here sa pinas. Shit lang talaga that the baho natives have power grips kaya naman its so hirap for mother earth to wipe 'em clean na eh. The gorvernment should read na those natural signs pare. Its about time na. I think they should divert na their attentions from being stupid into being matalino by putting an end to poverty. Its obvious naman kasi that the streets are flooded because of the filth these people generate everyday.. clogging most of the sewerage systems dito sa pinas.

Smash na lang those orcs to pieces. Wag lang the rides. Sayang kasi the cars eh.

Rotten Orcs!!!

Its not everytime pare that I get to watch tv. Pero just recently lang I can't help talaga but laugh at a religious show I've seen on TV. As in literally laughing talaga pare. I even heard my yaya speaking to one of the native muchachas if I was high daw ba on drugs. Tangina dude, why are they making pakialam diba if I'm laughing alone no. I mean, the show was really kakatawa naman talaga. Kasi pare, there was this old lady who was making a live testimonial that she was totally healed by a certain miracle guru that only made ihip and hawak her forehead tapos she got himatay lang, then after that, she was claiming na she was totally healed na daw. As in literally dancing and prancing pare. Prior to that, she was bed ridden daw because of excruciating pain on her back. It was some sort of cancer ata that rendered her invalid. Tapos, when a friend accompanied her to the gathering to get healed, she was complete pa with props -- wheelchair and alalais. Anyways, the funny thing was when the guru made ihip on her forehead and she literally dropped to the floor like a wilted veggy. I thought she was patay na or something kasi I figured the guru must have that uber baho breath that made everyone he spoke to as in up close and personal be like patay na. The weird thing lang pare, after a few minutes, the lady was making kisay pa. Tangina that breath talaga! Just imagine, with just a single ihip lang pare, the person in front of him will drop agad and was making kisay pa! He is special alright. Gifted with special baho breath with healing powers. What made it even funnier was the fact that after the kisayan incident, the old lady stood up as if there's no pain on her back na agad. Ang cool diba? And you know what I think pare? I think they are just making it up that they are healed na. Kasi its obvious naman na it was kahiyaan na diba. It was aired ba naman on national TV pare. So it'll be kahiya if they don't act that they get healed diba? T'was a bunch of crapolas pare. They are just faking it kaya. If you will try to look closer, its obvious naman na they are in sooo much pain while trying to get up and walk eh. Some of them are making ngiwi pa when trying. Tapos you'll never hear from them again after a couple of days because they were all like patay na. How fucking stoopid is that pare?!

Ok dude, im not trying to act as an anti kristo or whatever no. Was just airing my opinion on these shitty programs on tv. Eh its obvious naman na the people behind these programs are earning a lot from it eh. See how their lives remarkably changed from being a busabos preacher to instant millionaires? Tangina, thats what you call as pure panloloko pare. Capitalizing on religion to gain material wealth is soo fucking panloloko pare. They should rot in hell for doing so. Its soo obvious naman na the driving force behind them is Taning diba? I mean, they are not even God's gift to mankind like me. And they don't have what it takes eh. Kaya can't help it talaga but to laugh whenever these shows are on TV pare. Believe me, stand up comedy at its finest! Really good stuff dude. Good thing I'm not that tanga to believe in those gago no. As in asa pa them diba.



Anyways, just got my Iphone. I'm sad land lang kasi it is network locked pa.

The Peninsula Manila Privilege Card

Ok pare, I know its kinda tagal na rin since the last time I posted something here. I was kinda busy rin kasi juggling my schedules lately. My stupid secretary kasi was like bobo rin in managing my time. Anyways, just got home nga pala from a night out with my mom. Actually, t'was all purely coincidental that we had a date kanina. Just got kasi my privilege card from Peninsula a couple of weeks ago and I have this complimentary dinner with them (also a special room night). Unfortunately, I made my reservation sabay sa event of my mom with her other fabolosa kalachuchi friends. I called my mom's group, the circle of the kalachuchis because they all smelled like one pare. We have kasi that tree at the back of our farm house in Batangas, so I could easily make the comparison. Tangina talaga pare, my mom kasi coerced me to make mano pa and beso beso with her friends eh. So I was making timpi lang not to wipe agad my face with my hanky because the smell was like really disgusting talaga. And besides, its their reunion no and I'm not a part of their circle kaya. So I just told my mom that I have to leave them because I have a reservation pa at the Nielsen's. They were are the glass atrium lobby kasi. So yun na nga diba. Just bought lang saglit a sourdough bread at the Peninsula Hotel Bakery because everything was like discounted na. Then I called Hilariously Stoopid to pick them up, as usual, the old native was like nanginginig na naman when he got inside the hotel. He's not used to that kind of setting daw kasi. Ang pathetic no? I mean, he's not going to have an overnight stay there or something naman.. I just asked him to pick up the bread and thats it. Ambisyoso old fool no?

Anyways, I just presented my card and told them that I have a reservation made by my agent, June Lopez. The attendant directed me to my table and the rest was history na pare. The buffet spread was really good talaga. I literally pig out kanina. Good thing I ate alone or else I wont enjoy the food as much as I did kanina. Tanga kasi all the people I invited eh. I remember texting a dozen of my friends and none of them replied back. Probably all of their fones are lowbatt na pare. Kasi I even called 3 of my friends, ilang rings lang then busy tones na agad. When I tried to call them again, cannot ba reached na. They've missed out on a great treat pare. So bobo kasi nila for not charging their fone diba. I mean, its not everytime that I call.

Anyways, when I got out of Nielsen's, I thought of checking muna G4 since mukhang tagal pa matatapos my mom. So, I texted Hilariously Stoopid to make me hatid muna. I waited for 15 minutes but no native driver came so I called him instead.. Tangina pare, he was out of reach daw. So yun na nga diba. Since nasa kanya the valet parking ticket I have no choice but to walk na lang papunta to Glorietta. Of all tanginang koopal dude, Hilariously Stoopid was outside lang pala near the cascading water thingie of The Peninsula Manila chatting with one of the native guards. Ciempre diba, I was really infuriated talaga so I made sigaw na to the matandang koopal what on hell was he doing there eh I was texting him kaya like forever. Tapos the native guard pa made tingin at me like sama. So I shouted nga ulit at Hilariously Stoopid in pure english pare. I said na lang, "Are you natives ba planning to take a dip in the cascading thingie? Well, I guess you should! Both of you are really smelly na. I can smell you guys from inside ha! And believe me, its really shitty talaga!" So yun na nga diba, since I was really intimidating while shouting at the top of my voice, the native guard talaga was really pahiya. I'm like a VIP member kaya of Peninsula no. And they should make tabi whenever I pass through. Shitty minimum wage earners. I made galit na to Hilariously Stoopid infront of the baho guard to show him that natives are below me no. So yun na nga diba. Since I'm walking na naman, I just told him to please find a signal na lang for his mumurahing phone. I will check something lang kasi at Glorietta. Been drooling na kasi over the next Harry Potter book.

So there pare, good thing, he made sagot agad when I called him. I was like inis pa naman when I found out that the book is not yet out. Probably I'll make balik na lang ulit on Monday.