The Chronicles of Naida

Will tell you later pare why I called it Chronicles of Naida. Ito na muna for now...



I think I found na my true calling pare. Don't want to sound jologs or anything. Pero I think, I'm better off as an actor rather than a businessman. Kasi when I saw the movie kanina, parang the bigscreen is like talking to me.... as in major conversation pare. It's like I'm seeing na my future sa Hollywood. I would love to play the role of a handsome prince tapos Ysabelle is my princess pa! It was uber cool sana diba? Kaso, I heard na she will get married na pala this June. Shit naman kasi that bakla boyfriend of her eh! I bet she will be sorry for choosing that idiot instead of me. She's missing out on something really big pare. I pity her na tuloy. Tsk.. Tsk... Sabagay, my feelings na naman for her has faded na... I think unahin ko muna my calling as an actor diba. The hell with that biatch. It's her lost kaya.

Pero tama na muna that, I encountered an orc nga pala kanina sa G4 cinema. The hampaslupa! The hell talaga pare! Kainis talaga kanina her kabobohan for letting her cheap celfone make patunog inside the cinema. Shit talaga the ringtone pa. So kadire talaga pare. So I stood up nga and told the bitch with her boyfriend pa na..."Hey you bobo natives! Can't you see we are watching the flick here? If you don't know how to silent your cheap celfones better tapon it na lang up front para it'll be basag na lang so wala ng ingay. Kasi it's really messing with the cool sound effects sa movie!" Tapos I made tingin them sama then sat down ulit. See pare, I showed that bitch diba? As if naman she has something to prove no! Eh so katiting kaya her brain. Tapos her boyfriend pa was like trembling kanina. Hahaha! Served them right no! Fucking imbecile orcs!

So yun na nga diba? I was really irritated na naman kanina kasi some bobo orcs were like making pasabog their katangahan inside an ayala cinema pa! Buti na lang the movie was THAT GOOD for me to really enjoy it! So probably, most of you were asking na why I titled this entry "Chronicles of Naida". Naida kasi is one of our low-IQ, beauty forsaken, native housemaids. The nerve ba naman kasi pare of that basura no. Tama bang to write something about me sa diary nya. The hell! I'm not making pakialam or anything, kaso I really saw it yesterday eh. My mom kasi made utos kay Naida to buy something sa Rockwell together with Mang Andoy -- my mom's stupid driver. So yun na nga diba? The bobong utusan, she left ba naman her diary sa garden. Eh I was like tending sa cactus collection ko. So it was really inevitable for me to made basa her nonsensical journals no. I really dont know if I will laugh up to sawa pare or feel kadire because of what I read from her diary. The loser chimay has something pala in store for me. Hahaha! As if naman I will make patol to a busabos native no? The hell! Asa pa her diba pare. So there you go. I will tell nga my mom tomorrow about the diary eh para for her to fire that loser. Who knows diba, baka one day she will make sigaw na lang na I'm raping her tapos I'll be forced pa to marry a native. Kadire talaga pare the thought of it pa lang. Shit talaga!

One more thing, go watch the Chronicles of Narnia. Kudos to the director and to all the casts. Especially the white queen, Tilda Swinton. Galing talaga her portrayal. I think I love her na nga eh. In case you guys don't know pa. (And as if naman you know something.) Tilda Swinton is the Archangel Gabriel din sa movie Constantine. Classic kasi her beauty eh.

Also, to the guys sending me "love and support" photos at ihatecofi@yahoo.com ... Please. No photoshopped pics you morons.. I'll post lang the totoo ones. And to the guy writing some pathetic erotic short stories, go shove something up your ass and take a picture of it then send it to me baka you'll get a chance pa to get posted here. Loser!



By the way, I got na nga pala my second sticker card for the Starbucks Planner. Also a friendly advice nga pala, Starbucks is an evil corp. So beware! Hahaha!