This is a classic example of an emotional orc. Enjoy pare!
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Update lang Pare
It was an uber busy week for me pare. Sometimes nga I felt like I don't have a life na. Just imagine pare, my life was like making ikot na lang sa work and more work pa. Tapos Claude pa was always making kwento pa on how great daw Tim Yap for being such a nice boyfriend. The hell pare! As if naman I care no?! I don't even have a lovelife nga tapos she'll make me pakinig pa to some of her boring kwento no. I swear pare, if ever I get puno na of that kadire love affair, I'm going to say right in her face pare to fuck off talaga. Sometimes kasi, I felt I was being abused na for being such a good buddy to some of my friends eh. Its ok lang kaya to teach them a lesson or two for them to learn. Namimihasa kasi sometimes and they always tend to make asa na lang saken pare. I'm that lupet kasi eh.
Anyways share ko lang dude, my mom talaga is such a weirdo. She bought kasi a trampoline yesterday. I mean, what the fuck was she thinking ba? I'm her son kaya so she should learn na to give us some kahihiyan no. I just can't imagine my stupid matanda ng mom bouncing using that trampoline. Buti na lang pare she told us that it was for my quasi-cousins daw. The hell talaga pare! Buti pa my cousins, they got what they wanted from my parents, ako I need pa to make uto my girlfriend before to buy me yosi pa. Shit talaga! I'm starting to hate those monkeys na naman.
Tapos yesterday pa, some orc-like katutubos really ruined my aura at G4 pare. I went there kasi to buy the lean shake formula from GNC as a meal replacement and to buy na rin sana some undergarments from Armani. At the escalator going up, there was this katutubo who was really likot and from time-to-time making bangga na at my back. So I confronted him nga, I told him, "Are you bakla ba?!". I never thought pare na he was with his tribe pala. I think there are six of them who all turned to me because I confronted their kalahi no. Good for them pare, I'm an animal lover, because if not, probably most of them will go home all like patay na. So I just told them na lang na I don't make patol to bakla natives no. Good for them talaga.
So yun na nga diba? I've lost my gana na to continue on with my agenda yesterday. So I called na lang Hilariously Stoopid to pick me up kasi I need pa to replenish my aura. Fuck kasi those bakla natives eh!
Probably, I'll just buy na lang later.
Anyways share ko lang dude, my mom talaga is such a weirdo. She bought kasi a trampoline yesterday. I mean, what the fuck was she thinking ba? I'm her son kaya so she should learn na to give us some kahihiyan no. I just can't imagine my stupid matanda ng mom bouncing using that trampoline. Buti na lang pare she told us that it was for my quasi-cousins daw. The hell talaga pare! Buti pa my cousins, they got what they wanted from my parents, ako I need pa to make uto my girlfriend before to buy me yosi pa. Shit talaga! I'm starting to hate those monkeys na naman.
Tapos yesterday pa, some orc-like katutubos really ruined my aura at G4 pare. I went there kasi to buy the lean shake formula from GNC as a meal replacement and to buy na rin sana some undergarments from Armani. At the escalator going up, there was this katutubo who was really likot and from time-to-time making bangga na at my back. So I confronted him nga, I told him, "Are you bakla ba?!". I never thought pare na he was with his tribe pala. I think there are six of them who all turned to me because I confronted their kalahi no. Good for them pare, I'm an animal lover, because if not, probably most of them will go home all like patay na. So I just told them na lang na I don't make patol to bakla natives no. Good for them talaga.So yun na nga diba? I've lost my gana na to continue on with my agenda yesterday. So I called na lang Hilariously Stoopid to pick me up kasi I need pa to replenish my aura. Fuck kasi those bakla natives eh!
Probably, I'll just buy na lang later.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Orc Spotting
Ok pare, I have some friends asking me na on how to spot daw ba an orc from all the uber dami ng tao here sa pinas. Its very simple lang naman pare diba? Below are 10 things you should know to spot an orc...
1. They are always making kumpol almost on all public places making loud kwentos to each other and making loud tawas while speaking to each other with English accent pa! Tapos when you look at them they are like very much natives pare. Complete with the balat mahirap pa.
2. People aboard some masa jeepneys and other public utility vehicles with their rather gaudy and obviously second hand ukay-ukay clothes. Tapos sticking out pa their latest got-from-the-bombays-as-hulugans celfones from time to time for all to see. Kaya naman most of them usually ends up all patay na from the tusok on the side they got from being held up. Lousy no?
3. People who are flashing their faux-brand clothing like Louis Vuitton, DKNY, etc. tapos making lakad lang together with their big bags containing their lutong bahay baons and everything-they-need-for-the-day-na-galing-from-haus-just-to-survive kit dahil they are making tipid to save their money pa to buy some mumurahing drinks from Coffee Bean or Starbs to look cool pare. Tapos when you try to stare at them for about ten minutes, some words starts na to magically appear all over their body no.. Words like "FAKE", "POSER", "ORC" and may complete phrase pa na "HEY! LOOK AT ME, I'M LIKE A FUCKING YABANG POSEUR NO!". Optical illusion? Hell NO pare!
4. People making tambay along sidewalks (i'm referring to makati, ortigas and QC business districts pare) and trying hard to look sosy by making hithit their mumurahing Phillip yosi. Very much looking like a bunch of crapolas if you ask me.
5. People with complete set of AM/FM stereos tapos making it tago lang inside their pockets para it would look something like an ipod pare. Tapos even though there's a loud music na sa place, they will try to wear pa rin their headphones and make headbang. Eh they are listening lang naman to AM balita no. The hell pare!
6. People wearing thick jackets even though its sooo fucking init sa pinas. Tapos when they try to make taas na their kili-kili to make the funk its like so dripping wet na with the baho masa juice.
7. People wearing uber kapal chin-chun-su foundation just to hide their panget faces and only goes out at night because they're afraid that the tanghali sun might melt their faces and reveal the kadire physiognomy underneath no. As in!
8. They live at the ipis and daga infested squalid part of the city. Places that the goverment should consider bulldozing na because of the pollution they generate and the low morality they teach their uber daming kids which are the future holduppers and kidnappers here sa pinas.
9. All the baklas and tivolis you see at night making pakalat-kalat at the business districts. Tapos they are making tingin pa with matching pagnanasa pare in their eyes. As in asa pa them no!
10. And they have this uncanny ability to irritate my aura. Its creepy and eery at the same time.
So there.
1. They are always making kumpol almost on all public places making loud kwentos to each other and making loud tawas while speaking to each other with English accent pa! Tapos when you look at them they are like very much natives pare. Complete with the balat mahirap pa.
2. People aboard some masa jeepneys and other public utility vehicles with their rather gaudy and obviously second hand ukay-ukay clothes. Tapos sticking out pa their latest got-from-the-bombays-as-hulugans celfones from time to time for all to see. Kaya naman most of them usually ends up all patay na from the tusok on the side they got from being held up. Lousy no?
3. People who are flashing their faux-brand clothing like Louis Vuitton, DKNY, etc. tapos making lakad lang together with their big bags containing their lutong bahay baons and everything-they-need-for-the-day-na-galing-from-haus-just-to-survive kit dahil they are making tipid to save their money pa to buy some mumurahing drinks from Coffee Bean or Starbs to look cool pare. Tapos when you try to stare at them for about ten minutes, some words starts na to magically appear all over their body no.. Words like "FAKE", "POSER", "ORC" and may complete phrase pa na "HEY! LOOK AT ME, I'M LIKE A FUCKING YABANG POSEUR NO!". Optical illusion? Hell NO pare!
4. People making tambay along sidewalks (i'm referring to makati, ortigas and QC business districts pare) and trying hard to look sosy by making hithit their mumurahing Phillip yosi. Very much looking like a bunch of crapolas if you ask me.
5. People with complete set of AM/FM stereos tapos making it tago lang inside their pockets para it would look something like an ipod pare. Tapos even though there's a loud music na sa place, they will try to wear pa rin their headphones and make headbang. Eh they are listening lang naman to AM balita no. The hell pare!
6. People wearing thick jackets even though its sooo fucking init sa pinas. Tapos when they try to make taas na their kili-kili to make the funk its like so dripping wet na with the baho masa juice.
7. People wearing uber kapal chin-chun-su foundation just to hide their panget faces and only goes out at night because they're afraid that the tanghali sun might melt their faces and reveal the kadire physiognomy underneath no. As in!
8. They live at the ipis and daga infested squalid part of the city. Places that the goverment should consider bulldozing na because of the pollution they generate and the low morality they teach their uber daming kids which are the future holduppers and kidnappers here sa pinas.
9. All the baklas and tivolis you see at night making pakalat-kalat at the business districts. Tapos they are making tingin pa with matching pagnanasa pare in their eyes. As in asa pa them no!
10. And they have this uncanny ability to irritate my aura. Its creepy and eery at the same time.
So there.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Tim Yap and Harry Potter
Ok pare, Claude invited me last night sa Big Buddha, GB3 for her to make pakilala na her new boylet. Lets call this guy "Tim Yap". Tim Yap not because he looks like my friend Tim Yap but because its an abbreviated form of Tang-Inang Mukha Yan, Ang Panget. Seriously speaking pare, he reminds me of "Shrek". As in upclose and personal! Complete with the BO pa! Kulang na lang for me to take pa-picture with this guy and show it to my mom and tell her that I've been to Disneyland last night para pareimburse ng tickets no.
Ciempre diba, since Claude is my friend, I need to make pa-plastic na naman and make her feel na she's like panalo sa new boyfriend nya no. Yeah pare, she's panalo allright... Panalo for finding the most stupid kupal sa earth. As in! Grabe kasi pare the hangin of that guy. I mean, its obvious na he don't have any idea on who I am diba pare. So I just made tahimik na lang and tried to focus more on making ilag na lang from all the tilamsik of his laway no. And you know what? I kinda enjoyed din naman what I did eh. It's like playing PS2 pare in real life!
So yun na nga diba? It was really horrible talaga last night and kinda tiring din faking my tawa. Pero the hell talaga pare the yabang of that guy. Buti na lang Hilariously stoopid called and asked kung san daw ako daanan. Ciempre diba, that was an opportunity na to put an end sa kayabangan of Tim Yap. So I told Hilariously Stoopid to just park the car and pick up the books I bought at Powerbooks earlier. And I made it a point that I spoke louder that usual over the celphone last night so that Tim Yap would hear it and for him to have an idea that I have a slave no. Unlike him na just hitching lang a ride with Claude. How pathetic was that? Lousy no?!
Also, Mother of all kainis talaga some loser punks who got into my nerves for the past few days dude. As in TANG-INA talaga pare! Uber pampasira ng aura. It was kinda hard na to approve comments lately because of some loser punks who keeps on posting the complete "Harry Potter" series at my comment box no! Complete with foreword pa! As in... Kulang na lang pare the video attachment of the whole movie to complete the effect. Why not kaya make sama na rin the trailer to the attachment and the biography of all the cast para naman wasak na talaga my aura pare and para naman you could laugh na infront of the camera na together with your mean kopita because you somewhat managed to ruin my mood diba? As in the hell pare! Asa pa you no! Obviously, this is another agenda na naman of some bakla natives who have nothing to do but mess with my blog. Its simple lang naman pare diba? If you don't like what you see here then why stay pa? Not unless you're really that stubborn to make your kadire comment pa! Tang-ina, you're bobo talaga! I removed the button na nga coming from pinoytopblogs to lessen the katutubo hits tapos you're like flocking pa rin. I mean, read the disclaimer you dork!
Ciempre diba, since Claude is my friend, I need to make pa-plastic na naman and make her feel na she's like panalo sa new boyfriend nya no. Yeah pare, she's panalo allright... Panalo for finding the most stupid kupal sa earth. As in! Grabe kasi pare the hangin of that guy. I mean, its obvious na he don't have any idea on who I am diba pare. So I just made tahimik na lang and tried to focus more on making ilag na lang from all the tilamsik of his laway no. And you know what? I kinda enjoyed din naman what I did eh. It's like playing PS2 pare in real life!
So yun na nga diba? It was really horrible talaga last night and kinda tiring din faking my tawa. Pero the hell talaga pare the yabang of that guy. Buti na lang Hilariously stoopid called and asked kung san daw ako daanan. Ciempre diba, that was an opportunity na to put an end sa kayabangan of Tim Yap. So I told Hilariously Stoopid to just park the car and pick up the books I bought at Powerbooks earlier. And I made it a point that I spoke louder that usual over the celphone last night so that Tim Yap would hear it and for him to have an idea that I have a slave no. Unlike him na just hitching lang a ride with Claude. How pathetic was that? Lousy no?!
Also, Mother of all kainis talaga some loser punks who got into my nerves for the past few days dude. As in TANG-INA talaga pare! Uber pampasira ng aura. It was kinda hard na to approve comments lately because of some loser punks who keeps on posting the complete "Harry Potter" series at my comment box no! Complete with foreword pa! As in... Kulang na lang pare the video attachment of the whole movie to complete the effect. Why not kaya make sama na rin the trailer to the attachment and the biography of all the cast para naman wasak na talaga my aura pare and para naman you could laugh na infront of the camera na together with your mean kopita because you somewhat managed to ruin my mood diba? As in the hell pare! Asa pa you no! Obviously, this is another agenda na naman of some bakla natives who have nothing to do but mess with my blog. Its simple lang naman pare diba? If you don't like what you see here then why stay pa? Not unless you're really that stubborn to make your kadire comment pa! Tang-ina, you're bobo talaga! I removed the button na nga coming from pinoytopblogs to lessen the katutubo hits tapos you're like flocking pa rin. I mean, read the disclaimer you dork!
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Near death experience.
Dude! The experience was like nakakatakot talaga. I was like muntik ng mamatay early this week. And all because of some loser motorcycle punks along Macapagal road. I was on my way back kasi to Makati from MoA when my car almost got hit by the motorcycle natives near Bluewave. Tangina pare! My bobo driver, Hilariously Stoopid wasn't looking din kasi. Buti na lang I saw the approaching katutubos on a motorcycle heading our way. So I was the one who was making sigaw talaga. If I wasn't that alert that time pare, I could have been dead by now. One less gwapo na naman here sa mundo. Imagine pare, I died not because of the head-on collision sana with the motorcycle natives, but I died because some people are soo fucking stoopid to let loose their monkeys and let them play with motorcycles. I mean, who on earth have taught monkeys how to drive motorcycles? And what the fuck do you call those breed of monkeys on wheels ba? Iba na talaga products of Science nowadays -- the wonders of Genetic Engineering nga naman pare. I just told na lang Hilariously Stoopid to ignore na lang the loser punks who got tumba because I was really on a hurry. Hirap na pare to face na naman some patola enforcers who are like takot naman if I tell them the name of my tito na.
So yun na nga diba. I was like muntik ng mamatay early this week tapos I need to share na naman the house with some of my quasi-cousins. Ok lang sana if they have breeding pare no. Pero dude wala. Plus pa the fact that they are always irritating my aura eh. I mean now, I always have to go home early to check on some of my things baka they will make basag na naman some of my stuff. Just like what they did yesterday to my Brent yearbook that they made punit punit talaga. Eh I have only one copy lang kaya. So, how I wished that time that I could also make punit some super coolet kids and make them sunog na lang just to get even. My mom naman kasi always making kunsinti those brats and always telling me na, "Hijo, hayaan mo na. Ganyan ka din naman kakulit when you're still little eh." Just now I've realized na I should have made sagot to her remarks about those little devils no. I should have told her, "Ma, at least we're humans. And not freaks like those quasi-cousins of mine." The hell talaga pare! I swear I'm going to make irap at my tita next time for leaving those freaks here. Lately, our community kasi was really magulo because of the things that are happening right now at IS Manila wherein they booted the superintendent of the school Mr. David Toze, the former deputy head of all Brentoids in Baguio City.
Now everyone is trying to make pasikat na and making sali pa. Just like the Madrigals, the Ayalas, Elizaldes, etc. Kulang na lang the UN committee pare to referee the event eh. Here's one blog talking about the event - http://factoidal.blogspot.com. This site contains some disturbing politics of the school complete with some documents pa! Hay! Good thing I was a Brent alumnus.
Also, my site is still under development. I rejected kasi the first batch of designs that was presented to me by the Design Lab Project team. I don't like kasi the combinations of kulay that they did.
So there.
So yun na nga diba. I was like muntik ng mamatay early this week tapos I need to share na naman the house with some of my quasi-cousins. Ok lang sana if they have breeding pare no. Pero dude wala. Plus pa the fact that they are always irritating my aura eh. I mean now, I always have to go home early to check on some of my things baka they will make basag na naman some of my stuff. Just like what they did yesterday to my Brent yearbook that they made punit punit talaga. Eh I have only one copy lang kaya. So, how I wished that time that I could also make punit some super coolet kids and make them sunog na lang just to get even. My mom naman kasi always making kunsinti those brats and always telling me na, "Hijo, hayaan mo na. Ganyan ka din naman kakulit when you're still little eh." Just now I've realized na I should have made sagot to her remarks about those little devils no. I should have told her, "Ma, at least we're humans. And not freaks like those quasi-cousins of mine." The hell talaga pare! I swear I'm going to make irap at my tita next time for leaving those freaks here. Lately, our community kasi was really magulo because of the things that are happening right now at IS Manila wherein they booted the superintendent of the school Mr. David Toze, the former deputy head of all Brentoids in Baguio City.
Now everyone is trying to make pasikat na and making sali pa. Just like the Madrigals, the Ayalas, Elizaldes, etc. Kulang na lang the UN committee pare to referee the event eh. Here's one blog talking about the event - http://factoidal.blogspot.com. This site contains some disturbing politics of the school complete with some documents pa! Hay! Good thing I was a Brent alumnus.
Also, my site is still under development. I rejected kasi the first batch of designs that was presented to me by the Design Lab Project team. I don't like kasi the combinations of kulay that they did.
So there.
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