Mango Tee

Pare! My sked was really uber busy for the past few days and it'll continue pa til next month! Tapos the 21st Mango Tee Tournament at the Alabang Country Club in soo lapit pa! Buti na lang I got in early. Full na kasi all the slots. My fucking uncle pa is begging me to cancel na daw kasi he's been dreaming of joining daw this tournament since last year pa. Eh soo stupid kaya sya for not signing in early tapos he will make kulit pa for me to cancel daw mine. As in asa pa him pare no! Hahaha! I went nga to ACC yesterday to practice na my winning shots. I'm so like Tiger Woods kasi. I caught pa nga some chicks checking me out yesterday sa 15-hole course. Kasi I was like uber gwapo kaya yesterday with my Rudy Project Rydon shades, Perry Ellis Pique Shirt, Gellar Fatique Short and flat cap by Ralph Lauren. Pampasira lang the mumurahin mizuno Airoframe Stand bag that I got from my dad. Baka kasi magasgasan all my Taylormade driver, irons and putters. I told nga my native caddy to take extra care of my golf clubs dahil mas mahal pa yun compared to her life no.

So yun na nga diba? I was like hitting like Tiger Woods talaga pare. I bet the bobo Japanese thats with me were all hanga yesterday because I'm soo galing talaga. I think I should tell na Mam Neneng, the Mango Tee coordinator to put my name na on the Winner's cup dahil sure winner na kaya me pare. As in major!

Below are some photos nga pala I took yesterday at the ACC. From golf carting around ACC, shots of the bobo japanese hitting the golf ball, the 15-hole course and the Skyline bar inside the country club. I had the usual beef bento and c2 lang. Kasi I need to look after my weight na. I'm gaining some weight na because of the food binging for the past few days.











Also to all the readers sending me support photos. Please stop from sending me shopped photos kasi I dont have use for it kaya. How many times do I have to tell you guys na stop from being so bobo and just send me unedited ones.

On our way back to Makati yesterday, I told Mang Tonyo to fill up the gas tank of the car kasi I will be using it tomorrow papuntang QC. I have a business meeting kasi with a travel agency regarding some projects due next month. Kaso the filthy old Mang Tonyo asked for an additional buckeroos dahil tumaas na naman daw the gasoline. The fuck! And I thought the buying power of the native piso is going up na. The hell with the bulok government that you have! Grabe na corruption, bulok pa the sistema. Why naman kasi we don't let the Americans na lang take over our country para wala na all the hassles tapos all of us will become automatic US citizens pa!



Naida nga pala got fired yesterday. My mom kasi learned about the ambisyosa journal that she has. Kaya ayun. The hell talaga pare! Kadire talaga the dreams of some natives no?

And to all the baho orcs. You will soon work for me na. Can't wait to boss you guys na agad. This will be really good!

The Chronicles of Naida

Will tell you later pare why I called it Chronicles of Naida. Ito na muna for now...



I think I found na my true calling pare. Don't want to sound jologs or anything. Pero I think, I'm better off as an actor rather than a businessman. Kasi when I saw the movie kanina, parang the bigscreen is like talking to me.... as in major conversation pare. It's like I'm seeing na my future sa Hollywood. I would love to play the role of a handsome prince tapos Ysabelle is my princess pa! It was uber cool sana diba? Kaso, I heard na she will get married na pala this June. Shit naman kasi that bakla boyfriend of her eh! I bet she will be sorry for choosing that idiot instead of me. She's missing out on something really big pare. I pity her na tuloy. Tsk.. Tsk... Sabagay, my feelings na naman for her has faded na... I think unahin ko muna my calling as an actor diba. The hell with that biatch. It's her lost kaya.

Pero tama na muna that, I encountered an orc nga pala kanina sa G4 cinema. The hampaslupa! The hell talaga pare! Kainis talaga kanina her kabobohan for letting her cheap celfone make patunog inside the cinema. Shit talaga the ringtone pa. So kadire talaga pare. So I stood up nga and told the bitch with her boyfriend pa na..."Hey you bobo natives! Can't you see we are watching the flick here? If you don't know how to silent your cheap celfones better tapon it na lang up front para it'll be basag na lang so wala ng ingay. Kasi it's really messing with the cool sound effects sa movie!" Tapos I made tingin them sama then sat down ulit. See pare, I showed that bitch diba? As if naman she has something to prove no! Eh so katiting kaya her brain. Tapos her boyfriend pa was like trembling kanina. Hahaha! Served them right no! Fucking imbecile orcs!

So yun na nga diba? I was really irritated na naman kanina kasi some bobo orcs were like making pasabog their katangahan inside an ayala cinema pa! Buti na lang the movie was THAT GOOD for me to really enjoy it! So probably, most of you were asking na why I titled this entry "Chronicles of Naida". Naida kasi is one of our low-IQ, beauty forsaken, native housemaids. The nerve ba naman kasi pare of that basura no. Tama bang to write something about me sa diary nya. The hell! I'm not making pakialam or anything, kaso I really saw it yesterday eh. My mom kasi made utos kay Naida to buy something sa Rockwell together with Mang Andoy -- my mom's stupid driver. So yun na nga diba? The bobong utusan, she left ba naman her diary sa garden. Eh I was like tending sa cactus collection ko. So it was really inevitable for me to made basa her nonsensical journals no. I really dont know if I will laugh up to sawa pare or feel kadire because of what I read from her diary. The loser chimay has something pala in store for me. Hahaha! As if naman I will make patol to a busabos native no? The hell! Asa pa her diba pare. So there you go. I will tell nga my mom tomorrow about the diary eh para for her to fire that loser. Who knows diba, baka one day she will make sigaw na lang na I'm raping her tapos I'll be forced pa to marry a native. Kadire talaga pare the thought of it pa lang. Shit talaga!

One more thing, go watch the Chronicles of Narnia. Kudos to the director and to all the casts. Especially the white queen, Tilda Swinton. Galing talaga her portrayal. I think I love her na nga eh. In case you guys don't know pa. (And as if naman you know something.) Tilda Swinton is the Archangel Gabriel din sa movie Constantine. Classic kasi her beauty eh.

Also, to the guys sending me "love and support" photos at ihatecofi@yahoo.com ... Please. No photoshopped pics you morons.. I'll post lang the totoo ones. And to the guy writing some pathetic erotic short stories, go shove something up your ass and take a picture of it then send it to me baka you'll get a chance pa to get posted here. Loser!



By the way, I got na nga pala my second sticker card for the Starbucks Planner. Also a friendly advice nga pala, Starbucks is an evil corp. So beware! Hahaha!

Back to Office

Uber talaga pare sa busy the Holiday Season that I had. Grabe pa the dami of the kapal face na workers of my mom. It's like baho talaga our house last Christmas because of all the pulubis asking for pamaskos. Duh! As if naman I gave them anything no. The hell talaga pare! The only good thing I had last Christmas was the tons of gifts I received! See pare, dami talaga tao who loves me. I threw na nga some of the cheap ones. Kasi naman I don't have anything to do with those cheap gifts coming from the maids and my useless driver. The fuck! Obvious naman na they are just making sipsip lang to me no. Asa pa them! I'm planning na nga of firing all of them especially Mang Tonyo. I don't need a driver na kaya. I'm like a year older na kaya. By the way, I celebrated nga pala my birthday recently pare kaya I wasn't able to blog. Hectic talaga my sked. The only thing na pwede kong gawin was to approve and reject some comments here. Asa pa talaga the orcs na I will approve some of their lame death threats and loser comments. FUCK YOU ORCS! ASA PA YOU ALL NO! Again, wala kayong say here. Please, stop messing with my aura you baho orcs!

Below are some highlights of my Christmas and New Year Vacation pare:

December 20: Our company's Christmas party. Hinde nga ako umattend. I know naman na some of our employees will just make pacute na naman to me just like what happened last Christmas. Tama bang to kiss me while greeting me Merry Christmas daw. The hell talaga pare! So baho pa their lips no! Haven't they heard of lip gloss man lang with antibac? Kadire kasi baka they will pass pa some germs to other people they kiss. Don't want myself to get contaminated pare. Sayang my face na gawa ni Belo.

December 24: My stupid lolo once again called a family reunion at the house of my tita. It's like he's nearing death na kasi. And as his favorite apo, I got the chance to light the Christmas Candle as part of our clan's tradition. As usual, andun na naman all my stupid cousins together with my stupid titas and their ugly husbands. It really sent shivers down my spine talaga pare just thinking na my relatives are all pangets. Good thing my mom and dad were both goodlooking to produce such a kick ass uber sa gwapong son. Shit talaga pare.. I bet nga some of my girl cousins pa nga had a crush on me. The hell pare! They are so kadire no! I don't make patol kaya sa pinsans ko. I'm not a pig kaya!

December 25: Our family went to Hongkong to celebrate the Christmas Season there. But I checked in at a different hotel. Don't want to be restricted on how I'm going to spend my Christmas kaya. So I did some shopping. Konti lang nabili ko pare. All the malls were crowded kasi by some filipino viajeras buying some rtw's to sell dito sa pinas. Hay! Filipino mentality talaga. I mean, We have naman our own products, why buy pa sa Hongkong? Bobo talaga some Filipinos.

December 30: Celebrated my 23rd birthday. So it's official na pare. I'm 23 years old na!

December 31: My dad bought Php 250,000 worth of paputoks to show our neighbors that we are really filthy rich unlike them na lusis lang kayang i-afford. Kasi according to my grandmama when she was still alive, it's lucky daw to welcome the new year with lots of firecrackers. I hope she's right. Kasi the 250k worth of paputok is really something. I know I'm not gay or anything but I was really teary eyed talaga pare when I watched the firecrackers put on a show. Grabe talaga pare! The works talaga! Galing kasi the fireworks expert my dad hired to setup everything for us. I was imagining pa nga na sana all the orcs were inside the firecracker hut the engineer built para I could see them all go up in flames. Para complete na sana my happiness this New Year. Damn pare! I'm really mean no.

Our callcenter office nga pala will be operational na early February.

One more thing, I received nga pala this photo that was sent to my email by someone. Cute sana kaso it's soo masa pare. I mean, can you please put a little class on it. Wag naman ganyan na as if naman I have a heart for the masa. The hell! Still I appreciate it. Send more pare! Send it to ihatecofi@yahoo.com.



The favorite gift that I received came from my mom. It was a dude doll with a Rado watch as a belt. So sweet talaga my mom no? Also the shirt, which I got from one of my stupid cousin. Calvin Klein shirt that was bought in New York daw.



Well maybe thats all for today. Happy New Year losers!